I get it. It's natural for men to be possessive over women. Of course we seen't animals, but in many animal species males fight and compete for the right to mate and they guard their women to prevent the other men from impregnating their woman. That's just instinctual.
Now today however men have been feminised, so many of them just don't care. More masculine men (or as feminists would put it, men who exhibit "toxic masculinity") tend to be more possessive than effeminate men. In fact funnily enough with the rise in number of effeminate men there's a growing number of those who fantasise about watching their partners with other (typically more masculine) men, lol. That's probably why you find it a turn off, it's a sign that he's less masculine.
I'm kind of possessive over mine. I trust her to go out clubbing with her girl friends no problem, and I'm fine if she talks to guys she's always been friends with since like childhood that I know there's no history or feelings there. But I'm always suspicious of guys I don't know, and I let it be known, so she keeps her distance. I also don't let her out in something too revealing, especially if she isn't with me. To feminist types that probably sounds really bad but she has the same mentality as you though and likes it that way, and would find it a turn off if I was too pussy to say anything.
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After reading comments, I have concluded that a man's character and experience dictate his actions in response to the reactions of his woman. A man of character is observant without giving in to emotion. He will react only to the request or obvious need of his woman. He trusts his woman to handle it and not needlessly act jealous out of emotional animal instincts. God forbid that men take my trust for my woman as a sign of weakness and allowance.
I don't want a possessive OR a controlling guy. Both of those traits are major turn-offs to me. I do like guys with dominant personalities but to me, that's not the same thing as being controlling or possessive. I like guys who make it clear how they feel about me and are assertive but they also need to trust me enough to let me make my own decisions and not try to control what I do and who I talk to. Acting possessive is very similar to that, it's too much. I want my boyfriend to want to be around me but he shouldn't demand ALL of my attention all the time. There needs to be a healthy balance. Similarly, jealousy is not cute to me and really would just make me question his self-esteem and maturity.
Of course I want to be desired/ wanted but I don't want to be treated like property either. You're right, there's a difference between possessiveness (wanting a girl to yourself) and controllingness (wanting a puppet).
A small bit of possessiveness is absolutely sexy, but being possessive to the point of not allowing you to live as an individual is just wrong.
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Of course its a turn on when a guy wants you for himself, like he don't want to share you with anyone, but then of course they should know where's the line. I mean most people don't likes a control freak whose taping your calls and reading all your internet activity.
So yeah I agree with you.Women want a guy who will possess in the sense of keeping them secure, treating them like a prized possession, and being their strength when they are broken.
Women do not want a man who is possessive in the sense of being overly jealous, manipulative, giving ultimatums, being demanding instead of suggestive.
In anyone's right mind who would want to be controlled.
It's not why you go into a relationship.
You want to become one with someone else.
Not becomes someone else's.I think it depends on the level of possessiveness... it has it's pros & cons, but if i had to choose between the two, I'd like it if he's possessive over me, claiming me as his. Cx
I agree. I like that my boyfriend is possessive because it makes me feel like he’s protecting me because he cares for me and wants me all to himself. I just don’t like it when he gets really controlling though.. And there is a difference.
Jealousy got me thrown in jail on more than one occasion. All the incidents were before I was 30. They were all caused by the women, accepting some guys drink and then he has expectations and she's flirting... one big cluster fuck. If the woman I'm with wants to try & get me jealous just to see if I'll fight for her, "SHE" is the one who doesn't care. My going to jail to prove how well I fight for no reason days are over.
I sort of understand where you are getting at, but the traits of controlling and possessiveness is a very thin line that can be easily blurred, and neither party would be none the wiser.
According to your update, possessiveness is more like part of a controlling aspect.
That being said, yeah jealousy is fine, just don't expect it to be a very surgical one, jealousy can cover more than one area to the point where it 'feels' like it's controlling.For the most part, yeah, I think it's adorable how easily my boyfriend gets jealous. On the other hand, it can cause tension as my best friend is a guy and I hang out with him a lot. But yeah, lowkey possessive equals high key adorable.
My guy is really cool and understanding, and not much bothers him, but he does occasionally get jealous, and yes, I do think it's adorable. Controlling partners, however, are just bad all around. It isn't healthy to control your partner.
Yes, i like a little possessiveness and jealousy in a guy, but just a little. It shows he wants me bad and would be willing to fight for me.
First of alk nice to meet you friend... and what you said is right and in my opinion also women seeks possessive men and im glad to meet you... im vinny
I think a lot of women, even the feminists bitching about toxic masculinity just want a guy who's firm, in charge, and not a pussy. But admittedly I really definitely can't speak for women. It's just my observation that they generally respond better to strength than to weakness.
Yeah I can agree with this, possessive to me might mean they want to spend time with me and like to have me around while controlling might want to control who’s in my life instead.
I don't know I think possessive is attractive at some extent. If it gets out of hand to the point I can’t hang out a male friend or colleague then... nah fam I’m good.
I think it wanna see if your still desirable to your lover.
I want a guy who is passionate about me and would ravish the fuck out of me. Please throw me over the couch arm and give it to me good...
Like caring for her, I would think That's what a woman would like for her to treated.
To an extent. Some women like being told what to do and letting the man control the relationship. I'm not really controlling, but I am somewhat stubborn, and in all my relationships, my girl has trusted me enough to sort of lead the relationship.
I agree i like feeling he wants me and want no one else wants me.
I want neither. I'm not an object to be possessed.
I had a possessive ex before. Big coward.Women want attention period... Knowing what kind off attention depends on the woman... I have been in the BDSM sceen for 7 years... I am very Dominate
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