Women want possessive men, not controlling ones, do you agree?

[amel23]

I think most women like it when their guy shows jealousy and want them for themselves I don't know maybe its just me but when a guy is easy going and acts like he's cool with everything its just a huge turn off but qt the same time they need someone who trusts them and believe they won't fail their trust and act all controlling too just trust and possession and care what do u think?

Updates

+1 y

And I meant possessive more in the sense that they don't want to share a guy who wants u for himself its just a turn on

Updates

+1 y

Being possessive doesn't mean owning a person it means u want them for itself u don't have to force them to want u alone to be with u alone its more about that feeling of not wanting to share

[AdamThomas]

I get it. It's natural for men to be possessive over women. Of course we seen't animals, but in many animal species males fight and compete for the right to mate and they guard their women to prevent the other men from impregnating their woman. That's just instinctual.

Now today however men have been feminised, so many of them just don't care. More masculine men (or as feminists would put it, men who exhibit "toxic masculinity") tend to be more possessive than effeminate men. In fact funnily enough with the rise in number of effeminate men there's a growing number of those who fantasise about watching their partners with other (typically more masculine) men, lol. That's probably why you find it a turn off, it's a sign that he's less masculine.

I'm kind of possessive over mine. I trust her to go out clubbing with her girl friends no problem, and I'm fine if she talks to guys she's always been friends with since like childhood that I know there's no history or feelings there. But I'm always suspicious of guys I don't know, and I let it be known, so she keeps her distance. I also don't let her out in something too revealing, especially if she isn't with me. To feminist types that probably sounds really bad but she has the same mentality as you though and likes it that way, and would find it a turn off if I was too pussy to say anything.

[amel23]

Tbh that's what I meant and u kind of sound just like my boyfriend 2 except after that he would rawwr laughing lol kind of abit strict but end it up being sweet and rawwring lol

[5x9BOB]

After reading comments, I have concluded that a man's character and experience dictate his actions in response to the reactions of his woman. A man of character is observant without giving in to emotion. He will react only to the request or obvious need of his woman. He trusts his woman to handle it and not needlessly act jealous out of emotional animal instincts. God forbid that men take my trust for my woman as a sign of weakness and allowance.

[amel23]

A men acting according to his emotional insinticts sometimes is hot AF it shows he cares to the point he have no control

[5x9BOB]

Good point... i like to show I care in better, wetter and more intimate ways.
To be honest, when flags go up, I have confronted a few guys who were too drunk to think and hit on my girl right in front Of me. I have implied my reaction well enough to get her attention

[xHoneyxBeex]

I don't want a possessive OR a controlling guy. Both of those traits are major turn-offs to me. I do like guys with dominant personalities but to me, that's not the same thing as being controlling or possessive. I like guys who make it clear how they feel about me and are assertive but they also need to trust me enough to let me make my own decisions and not try to control what I do and who I talk to. Acting possessive is very similar to that, it's too much. I want my boyfriend to want to be around me but he shouldn't demand ALL of my attention all the time. There needs to be a healthy balance. Similarly, jealousy is not cute to me and really would just make me question his self-esteem and maturity.

[amel23]

I mentioned that they need to trust u enough not to control u but being possessive is not all about that its about guys who don't want to share guys who do r a turn off don't u think

[xHoneyxBeex]

What you're describing is a normal aspect of exclusive, monogamous relationships (not wanting to share your partner with others), that's not possessiveness. Being possessive means demanding ALL of your partners attention, getting upset if they want to talk or hang out with other people, wanting to "own" your partners time, etc. It's like being "clingy" and clinginess is a turn off to me.

[amel23]

Thats not what I meant with being possessive not clingy maybe I should expand my English vocabulary but if u findca perfect word that suits more let me know

[xHoneyxBeex]

Yes, word choice can definitely change the meaning of things, although you used the word "jealousy" too which I do think describes more what you are referring to. I find jealousy to be a turn off too though. It's just not for me. I prefer a different relationship dynamic, that's all. If you don't mind a guy acting jealous, that's cool, whatever works for you. :)

[amel23]

A guy who gets abit jealous is a turn on for me just amaizing to see that all women r different and u can't put them all in one category

[xHoneyxBeex]

Yes, exactly. Everyone is different and likes different things in a relationship. There's nothing wrong with that.

[Kkaos]

Jealousy = insecurity. That's never a positive thing.

[amel23]

@Kkaos no u can be secure and trusting but don't want any other guy looking at ur girls boobs

[Kkaos]

That's not jealousy. I wouldn't want a guy looking at my girl's boobs because it's disrespectful to her.

[amel23]

@Kkaos well go see other men and I Ber u will a lot who don't give a fuck and girls call it jealousy so put whatever word u want on that its still jealousy and when she likes some other in a way he get jealous to not bc she will cheat just bc he wants to be the only perfect guy in her eyes if u don't feel that its ok there tons of women who actually will agree in the same way there r tons of women made for the guys who gets jealous and its not bc u don't feel that make it wrong life is so diverse and there r different right wayscif everyone ends up happy

[Kkaos]

Ok, fair enough.

[widdershins_]

Of course I want to be desired/ wanted but I don't want to be treated like property either. You're right, there's a difference between possessiveness (wanting a girl to yourself) and controllingness (wanting a puppet).

[amel23]

I explained it in the update thought pple got the wrong idea

[widdershins_]

I noticed that too. It's a fine line so a lot of people missed the differences.

[ChronicThinker]

A small bit of possessiveness is absolutely sexy, but being possessive to the point of not allowing you to live as an individual is just wrong.

[amel23]

I agree

[Tania_bilkis]

Of course its a turn on when a guy wants you for himself, like he don't want to share you with anyone, but then of course they should know where's the line. I mean most people don't likes a control freak whose taping your calls and reading all your internet activity.
So yeah I agree with you.

[TangiblyTravis]

Women want a guy who will possess in the sense of keeping them secure, treating them like a prized possession, and being their strength when they are broken.

Women do not want a man who is possessive in the sense of being overly jealous, manipulative, giving ultimatums, being demanding instead of suggestive.

In anyone's right mind who would want to be controlled.
It's not why you go into a relationship.

You want to become one with someone else.
Not becomes someone else's.

[Munj82]

Please change the meaning of words in dictionary. It can't be subjective to every individual. Haha

[TangiblyTravis]

No. Definitely not subjective to everyone, each individual is different.

But there is a general level of observed behavior among society in this age.

Stuides show the majority of women desire this or that.
But we can say each desires it differently, to different extents, in different eays, etc.
And some just desure the opposite.

[amel23]

That's why I said possessive buy not controlling the manipulative overly jealous demanding sounds controlling and I explaint by that way he don't trust them enough to think they can make the right choice possessive is like u r mine and noone else's

[TangiblyTravis]

Exactly.

The overly possessive man shows his insecurity.

The rightfully possessive man shows his confidence.

Girls don't want to be controlled, and they don't want to have to keep reassuring a man she is his.

[MimiHashima]

I think it depends on the level of possessiveness... it has it's pros & cons, but if i had to choose between the two, I'd like it if he's possessive over me, claiming me as his. Cx

[amel23]

I agree

[fantasypeach]

I agree. I like that my boyfriend is possessive because it makes me feel like he’s protecting me because he cares for me and wants me all to himself. I just don’t like it when he gets really controlling though.. And there is a difference.

[Robsinsf53]

Jealousy got me thrown in jail on more than one occasion. All the incidents were before I was 30. They were all caused by the women, accepting some guys drink and then he has expectations and she's flirting... one big cluster fuck. If the woman I'm with wants to try & get me jealous just to see if I'll fight for her, "SHE" is the one who doesn't care. My going to jail to prove how well I fight for no reason days are over.

[amel23]

I never said get him jealous I meant when he sees someone staring at u in a lustful way it gets him jealous not bc he doesn't trust u or he's not secure about ur relationship but bc he wants u for himself

[Nivinxus]

I sort of understand where you are getting at, but the traits of controlling and possessiveness is a very thin line that can be easily blurred, and neither party would be none the wiser.

According to your update, possessiveness is more like part of a controlling aspect.

That being said, yeah jealousy is fine, just don't expect it to be a very surgical one, jealousy can cover more than one area to the point where it 'feels' like it's controlling.

[amel23]

Thin line but some guys know the balance u just have to be tlreally sjqrt and understanding

[Nivinxus]

I'm not denying that, I'm pointing out that to a guy, it's not as obvious as it seems and the two go hand in hand very very often. Well, it's not something I worry about anyways, roles reversed, it's not different. I'm sure there are men out there that like their girlfriend to be a little jealous and possessive but not controlling.

[ThatAwkwardDork]

For the most part, yeah, I think it's adorable how easily my boyfriend gets jealous. On the other hand, it can cause tension as my best friend is a guy and I hang out with him a lot. But yeah, lowkey possessive equals high key adorable.

[MsLoli]

My guy is really cool and understanding, and not much bothers him, but he does occasionally get jealous, and yes, I do think it's adorable. Controlling partners, however, are just bad all around. It isn't healthy to control your partner.

[HamAndCheese]

I think a lot of women, even the feminists bitching about toxic masculinity just want a guy who's firm, in charge, and not a pussy. But admittedly I really definitely can't speak for women. It's just my observation that they generally respond better to strength than to weakness.

[amel23]

Not just strength lol more like care and love

[datgirl]

Yes, i like a little possessiveness and jealousy in a guy, but just a little. It shows he wants me bad and would be willing to fight for me.

[amel23]

Exactly

[Vinny7764]

First of alk nice to meet you friend... and what you said is right and in my opinion also women seeks possessive men and im glad to meet you... im vinny

[amel23]

Glad u agree

[Vinny7764]

Excuse me can i ask you a thing?

[amel23]

Sure

[Vinny7764]

Im here for 3weeks and have no friends and so can i follow you? If you dont mine friend

[Vinny7764]

Sorry if it hurts you... extremely sorry

[pingiluv]

Yeah I can agree with this, possessive to me might mean they want to spend time with me and like to have me around while controlling might want to control who’s in my life instead.

[avony12]

I don't know I think possessive is attractive at some extent. If it gets out of hand to the point I can’t hang out a male friend or colleague then... nah fam I’m good.

[Longlegs1979]

I think it wanna see if your still desirable to your lover.

[amel23]

Not just desirable but I want someonecwho wants me for themselves

[Longlegs1979]

True but without trust there nothing.

[amel23]

That's why I said not controlling bc someone who does control u don't trust enough that u will make the right choice

[Longlegs1979]

That’s true

[thisisntlove]

I want a guy who is passionate about me and would ravish the fuck out of me. Please throw me over the couch arm and give it to me good...

[amel23]

That's a beautiful image u r drawing there lol

[thisisntlove]

I mean it's all I want... that and a guy with abs.

[Djaaay]

But thats love your talking about...😊

[thisisntlove]

@Djaaay No it's not, that's lust.

[Djaaay]

Just playing...😊

[Iamaguy4real]

Like caring for her, I would think That's what a woman would like for her to treated.

[amel23]

Caring and wanting her for urself

[Tony_1693]

To an extent. Some women like being told what to do and letting the man control the relationship. I'm not really controlling, but I am somewhat stubborn, and in all my relationships, my girl has trusted me enough to sort of lead the relationship.

[amel23]

Its not about being told what to do its more about protecting ur women being possessive not wanting to share and only want her for urself read posts about guys not caring if their girlfriend was flirting or they might enjoy it if she fucks other guys its just a huge turn off real men r proprietary get jealous if a guy checks their women just easy going liberals r a turn off women likes men not pussies that don't declare whats theirs and their powers

[Tony_1693]

Yeah, I'm definitely not like that lol. I could only assume that within itself stems from insecurity.

[amel23]

On have fun sharing ur gfs lol

[amel23]

Ok***"

[Tony_1693]

Lmao will do. FFM is hella fun

[amel23]

I didn't mean with girls lol girls r different with guys I meant with other guys with another everyone gets out happy and content she just spices up things with her hot body untill u get all jealous and angry then slap her and tie c he is giving her looks then u compete to get his attention back to u so its fun when u mess with ur own emotions

[Maria123195]

I agree i like feeling he wants me and want no one else wants me.

[CubsterShura]

I want neither. I'm not an object to be possessed.

I had a possessive ex before. Big coward.

[amel23]

Possessive doesn't mean owned ur not a slavrle but means wants u for himself

[CubsterShura]

Everyone has that quality except for polyamorous people. Feeling a bit jealous and expressing it is okay. Acting on it is not.

[amel23]

Sometimes I see pple in a relationship and the guy just don't care enough he looks fine with everything its kind of a turn off to see

[CubsterShura]

You simply don't like guys who are very liberal and carefree in general. That's okay. In the end it's all about how loyal you both are! :)

[amel23]

Yess

[amel23]

I really don't like liberals

[CubsterShura]

I understand.

[Reddragoon46]

Women want attention period... Knowing what kind off attention depends on the woman... I have been in the BDSM sceen for 7 years... I am very Dominate

[outsidecurve]

When will people learn that you can't possess someone. Stay woke

[amel23]

Posses someone is not owning them its wanting them for urself alone

[outsidecurve]

Exactly. We are all independent people. Call is possession or ownership. Either way is a form of control and selfishness.

[Naydyonov]

I agree.
Guys who are controlling are just bitchy.
Guys who are possessive care

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Every woman will have her own opinion of what "possessive" and "controlling" mean. I don't consider them concrete terms anymore.

[amel23]

Why not

[Djaaay]

They might , but I certainly don't like a women at all who are this way... Men aren't attracted to smart women. Their attracted to kind women who are wise instead.

[amel23]

Menbr attracted to smart women unless they r not capable of caring a conversation themselves or don't havevany deeper thoughts thejni getvu what's the point of having a smart women

[amel23]

Men r attracted *
Then I don't see what's the point*

[Djaaay]

Smart women who are full of attitude aren't at all attractive to men of any valor. A wise woman knows how to use her tougne right and speak with kindness and talk to the king in a man. A smart woman usually talks attitude to the fool in her man.

[amel23]

Told u a guy who is interested in having a deep conversation not a guy who is intrested in getting advice from someone who only talks the right way
anyway here r different type of guys and to each the one that suits

[Djaaay]

Oh believe me , it takes a wise man to be with a wise woman and there's deep conversation from both. I think you've completely misunderstood me. But my main point is , women who expect a guy to be possessive or jealous in a way are (insecure) and immature ) . Men aren't just looking for wise women cause men are stupid , quite the contrary.

[amel23]

Ok have fun sharing ur girlfriend or wife and letting everyone look at her and don't act she's urs she belongs to everyone and don't try to he the perfect men in her eyes all the time and whenever u feel smthg she likes u try to be better for her wish u good luck with all of that

[amel23]

And I wasn't talking about not looking for wiser women but not smart women that's what u said "men aren't attracted to smart women"that's what I commented on

[Djaaay]

I've instructed. Offensive martial arts for 36 years now. I highly doubt my wife feels a if I'm going to share her with anyone. Secondly... there's a huge difference between (smart and wise) . Please learn the difference before any more comments

[amel23]

I actually know the difference and I pretty much explained how smart pple r the ones u carry deep conversation with and wise r for advice but u operated them first then confused them

[Djaaay]

Please...

[amel23]

And the funny thingvmost women agreed but men had trouble with it but I guess all of them were insecure And u just know it all

[Djaaay]

Little one , you haven't the slightest of what I'm saying. Just leave it

[amel23]

Not little I'm 21 lol

[Djaaay]

Smart women always have an attitude and use their empowerment to destroy. A wise woman knows she's got two ears and one mouth , to listen twice as much and to speak two times less. A wise woman knows how to speak with kindness and to use her empowerment to build , not destroy.

[amel23]

Tbh wise women sound great then bc whether I build or destroy depends on the person and how they r acting

[Djaaay]

Every man and woman have a king/queen or a fool in them. It all depends on who you address while you speak at that person. Kindness go's allllllllllllloooooonnnnnnggggggg way.

[Anonymous]

Women are really a lot confused themselves. A possessive guy will be controlling. Easy going guy won't be. Now u r asking for trouble lady.

[amel23]

Not all possessive guys r controlling possessive guys want u for themselves

[Brock213]

Most guys don't want to share a girl with another guy. If you don't want her to have friends or family either that's possive and controlling. A possive guy is controlling. No in between.

[Opinion Owner]

Well if I am not wrong then possessive word comes possession. It's better to say that a guy who's loving caring and sensitive. Sensitive guys could feel jealous the way ur expecting. Where as real possessive people can get controlling if they feel threatened. But u don't have to agree with me.

[amel23]

I don't expect my guy to sit around when something is happening tbh if I'm in. A relationship with a men then he is a real men who chops would asca workout and bring home lions as preys ( exagurated image)

[Opinion Owner]

Hahahahaha

[Anonymous]

No, not controlling, not possesive, but protective.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

I understand your distinction but it’s really not any better.

[amel23]

Well it works for me and I don't want anyother way and bet there r lots of pple who disagree and maybe bc those r built for each other

[StickStickity13]

Women are weird, why would you want your man to be jealous?

[amel23]

Its just hot when u know how and when to be jealous it shows care and love

[StickStickity13]

Okay... lol

[MsLoli]

It's a sign that they haven't lost interest and still strongly desire you, although of course out of control jealousy isn't likable. It's about balance.

[mikemac1023]

You have to find that balance a lot of being overly possessive is a man's personal insecurities

[amel23]

Never said overly possessive read the updates

[QueenofCups]

I definitely agree.

[QueenofCups]

My boyfriend is a perfect example. He is not controlling, doesn't mind if I have male friends, but doesn't want anyone else touching me or even looking at me sexually.

[amel23]

Exactly tbh sick of not jealous guys saying its no good bc they don't feel it well there r tons of women who would love that so let us enjoy the tons of men who r jealous lol

[lilaqua]

Nope, as soon as I sense that behaviour, I run.

[itwasmelaniasfault]

For me this is true

[dizmuhjam]

Im like that.

[red_knight]

Say one thing and mean another. Typical...

[amel23]

Words have vast meaning if u put them one place they mean smthg in other totally different so I tried to explain so my words would seem the way my ambiguis feelings guided me

[Ninene]

i agree

[gage202]

i agree