It is hard yes. I was the same for years after my wife died. 6 year dry spell, holy hell that sucked.
The notion that you're not getting love returned because you want to be loved... at first I thought that was the worst thing in the world. Eventually I just had to come to the realization that if I didn't make massive changes, I would never date again.
Really just work on yourself. I know it's not popular to say, but getting in shape helps a lot. You start catching people glancing over at you with a smile, people start talking to you more, and eventually any self confidence issues get repaired and you stop becoming desperate.
Be approachable. There was this beautiful girl who worked the gym, who was always overly friendly to me. I didn't know a thing about her, so I never really planned to ask her out. After a few months of her just being consistently excited to see me, I finally did. She even turned me down, haha. But the point is, I asked her out because I knew that she was a sweetheart and if she said no that she'd do it in a very gentle way. She seemed very likable, it counts.
How do I stop being desperate for love? You fall into love.
Probably not the answer you were hoping for but hear me out. People biologically when not in love should feel the desire to be in love. Here is a video with more details about the biology of love (https://www. youtube. com/watch? v=eyq2Wo4eUDg)
So basically when in love your bodies chemical make up changes, your flooded with lets say happy chemicals... when you are not in love you body will crave these chemicals. So you either need to get these chemicals another way or be patient until your body adapts to the new chemical levels which in the cases of drug related chemical imbalances can take years to normalize.
My advice would be this. Sing like nobody is listening, dance like nobody is watching, and love like you've never been hurt. I feel that distracting yourself from one of your most primal drives would be a mistake... If you feel desperate for love it's most likely the best time to go out and find it... trust your instincts your body knows what it needs
It's completely normal to get a little too excited at the prospect of finding new love. I think the best way to keep your calm would be to keep your options open. Set up dates with different men so you don't become too attached to just one. Also, take a greater interest in your own life. Are there any activities or hobbies you've been wanting to try? Maybe you just need a little distraction from your love life. And always remember that finding love shouldn't be your first priority. Your happiness and well being are dependant on you, not a man.
Find more things to capture your attention that don’t include boys. A school project, more work, hobby or gym workout, craft project. Whatever you can do that doesn’t emphasize boys and can help take care of you. Body mind and spirit.
Realise that it is a concept only invented to sell cars! Hope this helps
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Honestly I was desperate for love I lost my both parents and worst of all I was a momma's boy. After my momma died all my close friends I started to catch feelings for them one by one but I realized just like you I needed to chill. But the reality is that we feel alone, it's good having friends to talk to but we want more, friends tell us wait it will come just be patient but love isn't like waiting in line, if you wait nothing happens you got to do. I felt what you felt and honestly it's a hard feeling to let go of because you want the cuddling, you can sometimes care too much, you just want to be loved by someone of the opposite sex and everyone needs love but my best advice for you would be to join a club, find something that interests you that your passionate about and for me that was acting and take it from there, and it's not called being desperate you catch strong feelings fast and so do I so don't see that as desperaity because a lot of people are similar to you. And even if a guy finds that you can come on too strong he'll still talk to you, he'll still be there and want something whether it being friendship or more, but if he walks away and doesn't even care he's a guy you should never want in your life, don't be afraid of who you are because there a lot of people out there who are going to accept you. I can give you a movie recommendation it's called wonder it's not about love really but it's about being accepted and fitting in and I think you'd like it, um I hope I helped, sorry if i went paragraph mode on you lol
I can say I used to be like this. Then I got stuck in the friendzone. Honestly it depends on your age and outlook on life. If you're a college student, like I am you might think you are too busy to be in a relationship. However the main cause of "relationship desperation" is seeing other couples act like they're in a relationship.
Finally, my recommendation is to reduce your time on social media and focus more towards things you should be doing. I don't know you, so I'm just going to say try focusing on your education
You need to find something to do that will take your mind off the desperation. Find a hobby, get a job, go out with friends. Just do SOMETHING. I was in the same boat you're in at one time. You'll find love sooner or later. Just please, please, PLEASE don't let your desperation cloud your judgement. That's how a lot of women end up in abusive relationships. That's a bad path to go down, believe me.
Most of us in this dying age, seek companionship and the want to be loved by someone. It can be hard to deal with as it can eat away at you little by little. I guess you’ll need to make it clear to your boyfriend that this what you want in a relationship and communicate with them. So communication is key.
You'll stop being desperate when you know how slow down. You have be the master of your soul. Once you do that go find that guy who's willing to have you forever. You also have to know that there's a fine line between lust and love/pleasures and pain. Life is not a fairytale anymore when you get older.
I'm really sorry to say this to you, but usually you can't just stop loving someone. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. The way it seems to me, is that you need to say how you feel, figure out whether they feel the same, if not, then go find someone that appreciates you back.
You can't, this is who you are. Abstaining from interaction will make you want to have relationship even more, continuing to interact but cock blocking yourself from love will just eat you from the inside.
It's easy to say, " make some friends, have fun, focus on what you love to do", but in the end it's never that easy.
Get one of those digital boyfriend apps, the funnier the better. Join a gym just for women and a feminist hate group. If they can't convince you all men are the worst thing to ever slime their way into existence, you're a lost cause. May as well move to Utah and marry every man you meet!
I solved that by removing all of porn funnily enough. I also stopped mastrubating, It gave me sooo much better confidence, it cleared up my skin, cleared my head.
Sounds too simple maybe, but it ABSOLUTELY works.
Right now you're so horny and your standards are so low that you'll jump on anything. Thats not good
Drink water you won't be as thirsty lmfao jk put your mind on activities you'd like to try :)
Ur rushing it.. be calm. relax. it will come to u.. can't force magic and want sparks to fly where ever we are in life.. it finds u
This is a good question, I feel the same way... If anyone has any good answers, looking forward to reading them
Go to the gym, go to the gymnastics hall, or some shit like that. You will get your shit together, you will have great body and than you will write how could I push away all desperate men.
I'm in the exact same situation right now. Don't deny your feelings, you want love and that's okay, just take a deep breath and keep your head cool and you'll be fine :)
it is normal. I still envy guys for this who actually could hide these emotions.
Yeah? Text me. I'm in the same boat as you two girls. I just have very limited options.
I know what you mean I’ve always wanted a relationship but I haven’t had one yet. I’m just distracting myself with other things, porn, video games, food & having fun with my family & friends
Get a boyfriend then you won't feel it anymore, make sure your actually attracted to the guy tho or else it won't work.
Can you give me an example of "thinking too much into it"?
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