Girls, have you ever stolen someone's boyfriend?

Question

Have you ever liked a guy so much, knowing that he is in a relationship, and tried (or succeeded) in getting him in the end? I know doing this is terribly wrong, but is there ever a justification for it? Maybe you knew his girlfriend is bad, abusing him, using him, cheating on him, etc. and you just knew you would be much better, you would open his eyes and save him? Have you ever been in the situation where the love of your life is falling for the wrong person, and you just sit there next to him as only a friend, not being able to do tell him how you feel, not being able to flirt with him, not being able to show him that he has options? Have you ever thought about making an effort to get a guy and turning a love into a battlefield?

lumos · Accepted Answer

Nope. If he’s falling for the wrong kind of girl, I would probably let him know what kind of girl she is. But I wouldn’t go out of my way to sabotage their relationship or try to get him to cheat on her with me. It *is* terribly wrong and if he did that, it would just show me that he’s prone to cheating. So who’s to say that he wouldn’t do the same thing for me?
In my experience, you’ve gotta learn from these things by going through them. Lots of people are quite stubborn when they’ve got their heart set on someone, even if it’s the wrong kind of person. It might sound harsh, but they need to get their heart broken to realize their mistake. So even if you try to convince them, they’re probably not gonna listen to you.
I know it’s hard to watch from the sideline, but I think meddling like that is still wrong. You might think you would be perfect for each other, but there’s still no guarantee that you’re actually his type. That he actually finds you attractive. That’s why you’re better off trying to move on, instead of pining after someone who’s unavailable. Because even if he does become available at some point, you’ll never know for sure if he’ll even want to be with you. It’s a waste of time.
You’ve got rose colored glasses on, and so does he. He is probably crushing so hard on this girl that he’s willing to look past all her flaws. And you’re crushing so hard on this guy that you think you’d be perfect for each other, even though you’re not even together. Lots of people are in love with the image that they have of someone, completely disregarding the actual reality. You’re both doing that.
So, to sum it up: no, sabotaging someone’s relationship is not the solution. Not only will it make you look desperate and evil, but it will also prove that he is easily manipulated and might end up leaving you for someone else in the same way. Also, you’ll never really know for sure if he actually could like you back, so it’s potentially a waste of time. Find someone who would make you their number 1.

EmiliaB · Accepted Answer

A lot of women use the "what if she treating him badly" excuse to to try and reason with themselves about going after someone else's man.

They want to believe they THEY are the perfect person for that guy, and they could treat him better than his girlfriend ever could. Some will even try to mould themselves into that perfect person - they find out his interests and hobbies and adopt them as their ow " See ! - we have so much in common, we belong together!!"

The fact of the matter is, he's with her he has chosen her. Maybe she's his perfect woman. No relationship is perfect all the time, but the option to stay or go is always there. If he's choosing to stay that speaks for itself.

Without meaning to be offensive, some women are so hell bent on stealing someone else's guy, that delude themselves to the point of believing that he's madly in love with her and is only staying with his partner out of duty or habit, or fear of hurting her, when the reality is there was a reason her got with her and there is a reason he's staying with her, they just aren't reasons this other woman wants to think about or believe.

Just because she thinks he's the love of her life, it doesn't make her the love of his, You know?

In answer to your question, No. A guy having a girlfriend is a deal breaker. He's off limits.

Imagine how you'd feel if the situation was reversed.

Also, keep in mind that if a guy can leave his girlfriend at the first sign of new attention, chances are, he'll do it again.

Lily_Pi · Accepted Answer

I've never taken another girls boyfriend. Knowing someone is in a relationship is a total turn off for me. I have to be their #1. I refuse to be some guys side bitch or mistress because at the end of the day the one he really loves is the one he made the commit with and goes back to at the end of the night. Very few guys are going to fight for a side bitch but they'll do anything to keep their partner after they find out. So no. I'm turned of by guys in relationships. I want all their love. I won't be the one he left for either. All your doing is exploiting a persons sexual desires or feeding off of whatever they are lacking in their current relationship and that isn't a good thing. Most of those relationship don't end well even if they do leave their partner for you can you trust them to not do the same with you. Of they dis it once it most not be that hard for them to do it again. I'm turned on by a man who knows how to commit to me completely and doesn't waiver.

estoydorado1 · Accepted Answer

If a guy I liked was in a toxic relationship, yeah I'd try my best to get him out of that destructive cycle but why would I willingly make myself a rebound? Maybe after he took some time to heal I'd try to pursue something more with him. Even when relationships end peacefully, people need time to regroup. I also thinks it's pretty manipulative to take advantage of a guy because you know his last girlfriend brought him to a really low place. And if he dumps her for you on a whim, then your fate isn't looking so bright.

Unit1 · Accepted Answer

Look at the girls trying to steal some boyfriends and guys like me, @genericname85 @ThisDudeHere @decentguy can't even get a girlfriend. What is up with that?

cdn.discordapp.com/.../tfw_no_gf.png

This reminds me of a theory of only the top 20% of all men being desired by the opposite sex.

Anyway my opinion is the same as ThisDudeHere said. A person cannot exactly be stolen. It's more on their own decision to stay or ditch their gal.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

“Falling for the wrong person”

That’s called being selfish and a home wrecker.

You may not be the best person for him you think you are, especially if you want to cause misery for the other poor girl.

If a man did what you were doing, he’d be a creep.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

There is no such thing as stealing someone from someone else. That person that got "stolen" already had it in them to cheat or ditch them. You can not say that they had no agency in their actions.

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t think I ever stole anyone’s boyfriend. Although I use to have a good connection with this guy I was friends with. His wife eventually became jealous and texted me & asked me to stay away from him. He insisted and wanted to keep seeing me behind her back. I felt that hiding would only put more wrong ideas on his girls mind so I stopped answering his calls and eventually he gave up. The weird thing was that when his wife asked me to stay away, he began telling me he was in love with me and that his feelings were with me... that kinda freaked me out.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, I have, but I wasn't consiously trying.

I had a huge crush on this guy from a distance. Then, when I got to know him, I learned he was taken so I stayed back. We were in the same class in school and we chatted sometimes during college but that was it. Still had that crush though.

When it became Christmas break, he emailed me asking for my number and asking to hang out. I agreed to both. So we hung out, watched a movie and I was just extremely nervous all the time.

We chatted more and more and he told me about relationship issues. Partially out of guilt, I tried to help him as well as possible. We became friebds and my feelings became stronger.

I had told him I liked someone but didn't want to say who. At some point, I confessed after all, because I needed some more distance to forget him.
That's when he left his girlfriend for me.

Fallahad · Answer

There is no such thing as steal someone's boyfriend. This is what those LOSERS saying "i'm not a whore" need to understand. It's the person's decision to leave his/her current bf/gf for someone else.

PrincessPie · Answer

Nope, someone "stole" mine though, but i don't believe in stealing though you can't steal anyone in reality, for someone to go its because they don't want to be with you anymore, i don't blame the girl who is with him, i blame him, he was the one who hurt me.

Darkfairie17 · Answer

Never, it makes no sense to get involved in such a messy situation.

If a guy is unhappy he can break up with his girlfriend and then date me. But I'm not going to get in between someone else's relationship. Cheating is a bad way to start a new relationship.

If they are willing to do it with their current partner, chances are they are willing to do it to you.

laurieluvsit · Answer

Not intentionally.
But there have been times when a boy pursued me that was seeing another girl.
I have no interest in a boy, or girl, that has other love interests that they have been made to believe are exclusive them.
And I have no respect for others that do.

Mekara · Answer

Not intentionally and he is a married man. He brings his wife and kids on my job sometimes and when I'm alone or doing some work somewhere else (away from wondering eyes), he'd flirt with me and ask me out for drinks. I feel bad about not telling his wife, but when they are together it looks like a lovely "family moment". Do I really want to be the asshole who fucks that up?

GeminiAgent007 · Answer

Not my thing plenty of other men I feel if a guy actually wanted and respected me, he'd make himself available for me anything less I don't want to be involved in. Regardless of the situation i dont see anything to justify cheating or me myself willing to ruin someone else's relationship I don't want to be the cause of someone's pain.
I've been pursued by taken men just to think that'd do that to their current partners is in itself distasteful, why would I want someone like that

BrighteyedAsh · Answer

Nah, if it's that bad it will end... otherwise I'm just putting myself into a drama mix. If it's 'bad' and he's not leaving then it's probably more complex than you realize. Plus, you probably have a personal bias as to whether or not she's 'bad'. Let it be and if anything is meant for you two it will happen when the time is right... jumping in will cause more trouble than it may be worth.

Pinay_ako · Answer

First of all, no one can be stolen in a relationship WITHOUT THEIR consent. They are capable of thinking and making a decision of their own. Cheating is not an accident. If you are the girl he cheated with and you are aware of his relationship with another girlfriend, you are both no different. How you got him is how you lose him. Before you know it, he will be "stolen" by another girl who has no regard of his status or you the girlfriend.

anniisa · Answer

Yep... However had no idea he had a girlfriend. We met at an engagement party and kept making eye contact, then continued to flirt at the wedding. I didn't know he actually had a girlfriend since he was a very attractive stranger that also noticed me.

I only realised he had a girlfriend when I looked back at his Twitter and realised he was in a relationship back then. (This was when we were already dating). It wasn't that deep though since we were both 16 year olds.

HOAAH · Answer

There was a guy who was being used as a sugar daddy and his sugar mamma was sleeping with other men but still had feelings for him, but they weren't technically in a relationship. He came over to my place one night, i was single. We didn't have sex, but we kissed. I ignored him and told her about it. She blocked me, we are no longer friends. He eventually cheated on her when they got back together. Needless to say, i didn't try to steal him. I am in a healthy and happy relationship now.

Red-Blaze · Answer

I world never dare to do it, just thinking about someone doing it to me is more then enugth for me to move away from it to never even consider it
I don't care how much i may like that guy, i will not dare take him from someone else
And beside, if he leaves her for me, who says he will not leave me for someone else?

Shane_B · Answer

Thats shit is risky as fuck and doesn't normally end well for anyone from what I know, I can understand saving him if he's in an abusive relationship, then thats a bit of a reason, but an unhappy one can be worked out depending on the issue/ problem.

But don't make yourself an option or as a back-up for him to go to if he was to break up with the girl he is with.

LegateLanius · Answer

You can't steal anyone. They made a choice to leave who they were with.

Anonymous · Answer

I could have. But I told him to buzz off. Even had to change my number to get him to stop contacting me from different numbers. He is using her even though they were together for years. He got attached to me and confused himself. I did catch feelings too, but I backed off.

Hotpink94 · Answer

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS STEALING SOMEONE ELSE'S LOVER. They chose to leave and end the relationship themselves, PERIOD.

pleasestopthis · Answer

No. It's not up to you to "rescue him". He's an adult and if he stays in that relationship, it's his choice.
Also, I don't want a man with zero loyalty to his current partner, that means I can be discarded easily too.

classychickwfineass · Answer

That's some fucked up lame excuse people find there's no such thing as stealing someone boyfriend. For a homewrecker to get in someone would have to open the door for her..

Girls, have you ever stolen someone's boyfriend?

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