Why do women wear sexy clothes if they don’t want attention?

Question

It's a genuine question so I'd appreciate if you don't bash me. Basic assumptions while asking this questions are
1) Not all women want attention
2) Many women receive unnecessary attention when they dress reveling.

I'm not against it but asking this question just to know behavior of opposite gender. (Trans people can answer too, I won't mind )

Updates

+1 y

For those who're saying "It feels good" yeah I agree with it but I was told that those cloths are super uncomfortable to wear.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

OK, I found this place to answer a basic question I have always had as a male. And I learned a couple of things. They are interrelated. First, I have never cat called a woman in my life, but I sure have seen some that made me whistle under my breath or elicit a wow.. under my breath response. Is that wrong? It appears that is OK from what I read here as long as I don't walk into something knocking things over, make it too obvious or say it out loud. I do know that I see men checking out my significant other and I'm OK with it, feeling lucky actually, and kind of chuckle to myself. She says she never even notices. Is this latter true?

Second, is that I always assumed that men were a part of the equation in terms of what women were wearing. I learned here that is not necessarily the case. This is a good thing. It sets our society apart from many. Yet, once again, I have made an ass out of myself for most of my life by assuming. Fortunately, only me and the mirror have to have a discussion regarding it.

OK, now from a male perspective. There are some hardwired behaviors involved from a male perspective I am relatively certain. And males tend to assume it is always about themselves (mea culpa) and many will view dress as an invitation (not guilty/just confused). AND, we males have all seen it work in certain circumstances. This is dangerous as it subliminally reinforces the behaviors in males. And guess what? Females were a part of those situations. And further, some males are nothing more than sexual predators. Males who were not taught respect, and having few inhibitions or just full of themselves (all related by the way), will cat call and make azzes of themselves. Some go at it as a mission, and as noted, we have ALL seen them succeed.

AND, you women need to protect each other more. I've seen young women test driving themselves be easily manipulated by men to the point where I have stepped in before with mixed results from both sides I might add. This has happened maybe four times in my sixty four years, so, don't think I make a habit of it and none recently as I don't go to bars much any more, and I have seen other women looking at the situation like a train wreck they can't take their eyes off of but aren't going to do anything about. There are some hard wired behaviors going on with you all also. It has to be pretty out there and obvious and dangerous. I've also stepped in when racists were doing their thing on someone who didn't deserve it (with mixed results and got suspended in high school for physically addressing a bully and sending him to an ER. I have lines.

It is a complex world, be careful... As I have said, I have learned something here that helps me understand...

LogicBomber · Accepted Answer

Because those women are children and don't like to take responsibility for their actions or choices. (If a child strips in public, they don't think about anyone else or the consequences of their actions. They assume everyone is a good person.)

Generally speaking, the females who walk around in cloth body paint (tight), see through clothes, loose exposing clothes, etc. Will all say "it's because it's comfortable" and as much as walking around naked in public might be physically comfortable so is a moo-moo but you don't see women running out to buy those. The first thing a female does when she buys clothes is turn around and check out her ass because she wants to make sure it "looks nice". Women base what they think looks nice on the current interest of men in society, therefore they dress for male attention even if they deny it.
They do this but then want to keep the ability to pick and choose who that attention comes from. Which you can't have both.
If I walked around with my dick visible, I can't choose who looks and I would have to take responsibility for the consequences doing so would create. But women live in a privileged little bubble where they do and say what they want and men are expected to be the adults and reprogram natural sexual biology.

MimimiLalala · Accepted Answer

the "feels good" is probably more an emotional wellbeing than a physical one.

i like to dress super revealing and get full make up on my face without even planing to go out of the house. taking care of my appearance is just self care and self love and to me is a healthy thing to do to keep me going. if i feel goodlooking i am happy. therefor i dress in a way i consider myself beautiful. this might be in a cute way from times to times, alazy way, cool sporty or sexy way. there are many different moods and many different ways to express them.
When you catch a woman in sexy clothes that doesn't feel like getting any actual attention she is probably just doing it for her own wellbeing.

heck, most of the time i dress sexy because i ve been listening to some party music an hour before so it s really not conditioned by what others might think of it (at least in my case).

hope that gave you some insight.
i m not sure how to compare it with the male aspect
maybe you like to dress like a gangster after hearing hip hop and the other day you go out in smart clothes because hoodies and vans shoes just dont catch your mood that day but you feel rather classy.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Assuming we're talking about "normal" sexy and nothing too revealing, I'd wear it because the clothes were pretty and would make me feel pretty as well. Also, like others already commented, they're a confidence booster and can make me feel and act less shy. They can make me feel like more of a foreground person if I normally feel like a background person. I feel a little bit more daring and because of that I will probably step out of my usual comfort zone and in turn feel more seen and heard, which feels good. All because I feel more confident in my own skin.

But there is good attention and there is attention that I wouldn't want or feel comfortable with. The latter being the sexual and objectifying kind that makes me feel like I should cover up and go back to being a background person. So to conclude; I guess it is first and foremost a confidence booster. Secondly it IS to be noticed more - in a good way. But there are different kinds of attention (and there are clear lines between them) and most of us don't want the wrong kind.

ChronicThinker · Accepted Answer

1) It makes us FEEL sexy, our bodies aren't just for your pleasure.
2) Some guys think a woman looking sexy means they can be fucking disgusting towards you and disregard your status as a human being.
and 3) Because she is trying to attract a guy... just not YOU. You didn't make the cut bruh.
4) Then some girls are attention whores who can't admit it.

Zendrya · Accepted Answer

If they say they don't want attention that's false but at the same time they are doing it also because they feel good doing it

despop · Answer

Some ideas, and it could be one or more of all of these:
1. Maybe she does want attention. From someone SHE chooses, not a random guy at work or school, or worse, someone on the street.
2. Maybe she wants her friends to think she's hot. She might just have a friend group in which sexy or revealing clothing is fun, or even competitive.
3. She might like how she looks dressed like that, and dress like that for herself.
4. Maybe she wants a specific TYPE of attention? Maybe she wants to canoodle with a hot guy at a bar and get a free drink and maybe get to know someone cool.
4. She. Wants. To.
You honestly don't need to read too much into it, most women are conditioned that sexy clothes are cool clothes, and she might dress that way because it's normal.

I dunno, dude. This is a question that I usually hear in reference to guys being jerks to girls. But honestly when I flirt with hot, well dressed chicks, it usually goes well for me... I might just be the baby face dude they were hoping would buy them a drink, but I think it's more to do with my respect of their agency over their body and clothing choices.

KareFree22 · Answer

Well to me there are two types of dressing sexy. I’m be being classy, the other is trashy. Classy is usually a woman who has respect for herself but wants to show her femininity and doesn’t care about glances of appreciation from men. Trashy is someone just wanting attention and usually ends up getting the wrong attention and then complaining, maybe a woman with low self esteem and thinks that’s the only way to attract a man but in reality most likely end up with a jerk. Just my opinion based on experience and I don’t want anyone to take this the wrong way.

laurbeansxx · Answer

So answering your update comment: Yeah, the top you showed in the picture would be slightly uncomfortable for me, as I would feel the need to constantly adjust the shoulder/sleeve part to make sure it's not too low or too high. But if you're talking about a simple flowy dress/romper, hell yeah, those are breezy and comfortable. Same with leggings. They are considered "sexy" as they outline my ass and legs, but they are soo comfortable. Sexy clothes can be uncomfortable or comfortable, depending on each piece of clothing.

And for me personally, my whole attitude seems to change depending on what type of clothes I'm wearing. I tend to be lazier and shier if I'm wearing my loose, "hobo" pajamas (because I feel gross), and I tend to be more outgoing and happier if I'm in my nice/sexy clothes. So I guess when I'm in my nicer clothes, I'm not trying to look for attention but rather feel good about myself and feel more confident when I'm interacting with others

Astoriana · Answer

Firstly, it’s not like there are a ton of fashionable options that don’t end up being revealing. You get stuck with this dilemma of “I want to feel cute and trendy but some troglodyte is going to harass me if I do because no man can resist my ample charms.” It’s beyond annoying.

And in any case, I shouldn’t have to dress myself up like Mother Theresa in order to not be harassed. I should just not be harassed.

Shaft50 · Answer

Well, living in Australia, our weather is quite warm anyway and when girls dress, a lot of them dress for comfort... they can't help it if they're gorgeous and the clothes look great and get people's attention. A guy could claim, or even more conservative girls for that matter, "Oh look what she's wearing... she's a bit thirsty for attention," when in actuality, a lot of the time the attention is incidental.
I think girls have been given a hard time with this... if they dress too revealing, they are attention whores; if they dress whereby they are all covered up, well, they must have a low-self-esteem or ashamed of themselves. They can't seem to win, unless they all dress the same, and then they will get bashed for being conformist and not having an individual flair.

virginbish · Answer

@bountyguy9... because little Mr. JustHi blocked m 🙄
I hate luring guys, and I hate when guys lur girls. There's no respect when that happens... it's manipulation. I prefer communication and being lured for the fact of character and that's it. I like it when a guy doesn't try... and lets me judge whether his natural self is enough for me, rather than acting all super romantic and puts lots of effort in the beginning so that when I'm finally his, he stops all together. If he doesn't try super hard and acts normal, then we are in a relationship and he's acting all sweet and romantic because he wants to and feels happy, that's a bigher component for me.

coralee · Answer

When you look good, you feel good. And lots of sexy clothes are comfortable. Lots of schools have banned yoga pants because they cling but they are the most comfortable thing going. Even things that aren't can produce a desired affect that has nothing to do with getting male attention. I love wearing heels because I'm short and the height boost makes me feel confident. For another girl a tight dress, may show off the body she worked hard to get. It doesn't have to have anything to do with men. I wear cute dresses for girls night where the entire point is to have fun with the girls. I wear them because they make me feel good.

chrissykerdock · Answer

when i wear a miniskirt or minidress in public i get a lot of looks whistles and people even recording me with their phones i'll admit i like the attention as it makes me feel good to be looked at by so many people... most men will look as will children and about 1/4 of women will look as well... as i and any woman know how to tone it down... it's all about when and where... yes it can be dangerous as you might attract the attention of some psycho rapist killer... so you think of the where and when that your wearing sexy clothes

Anonymous · Answer

Because all we do is for you guys. When we are out shopping we always think like "Omg if I wear this I will look like a bomb then I will find the love of my life" and then we buy that shit to seduce you guys. If you think it's too slutty, we go change into something more modest. If we like a guy that is not into prudes we go dress really revealing. What we wear depends on you. Because your opinion is so important when it comes to what we do with our bodies, how we dress, even our diet depends on you. Our world revolves around if we ever gonna get attention from you or not! It's even more amazing when you guys see our clothes first and not us as a person wearing it. Not to mention when you compliment on our bodies when we are passing you by on the street, it turns us on so much that we want to have you right then and there!
So yeah that's the whole reason behind it. Not that we want to wear what we think looks nice on us, our fashion sense solely depends on you! :)

cheriya · Answer

They don’t dress like that for the pure sake of gaining attention. Sure, maybe several do out there but with trends and fashions style changing plus social media platforms playing such a huge role and leaving a big impact on teens, young women etc. are probably the bigger reason as to why they wear things like that. I’m not sure if you knew or not but the girl in the picture is Cindy Kimberly, and she’s a model. Not sure you have noticed but a lot of models tend to dress in clothes that makes sense when you see them wear it however, it’s not what you’d see particularly in real life. Though she is wearing an off shoulder & no sleeve top which kind of became a trend last year and a lot of people wear things like that. They wear sexy clothes because they like the style or are content with their image, etc. Plenty of other reasons. It’s not really about attention.

trisa0918 · Answer

First, most importantly, I think any woman who maintains herself, size wise and hygiene wise (hair, face etc) looks sexy in anything she wears.
Men naturally feel attracted to such women and find her sexy even if she's wearing really loose clothes (the picture with the shoulders)

According to me,
(Note: not EVERY girl, but MOST)
Girls between 14-18 do it only because they see older women doing it.
Between 18-till whatever age she thinks she's "young n still got it"
they do it for attention
of course from the opposite gender.
Maybe someone specific or general.
All the "makes me feel good about myself" and "confident about myself" is because they get an ego boost from all the attention.
And it most definitely helps. There's no denying that.

vishna · Answer

In regards to revealing clothes being super uncomfortable, in my experience, that has more to do with if I'm too dressed for the occasion ex) goes out in a cut out dress and everyone in the restaurant is in jeans and a t-shirt. That makes me so embarrassed but mostly because I thought it was special but for everyone else this fancy place is just whatever.
awkward...

For me, I feel frumpy if my clothes are all loose and baggy. I don't like when my shirt isn't contoured to my stomach and waist, it just doesn't look right to me. I'm not saying it's revealing, but when I go the next level and add a bit of cleavage to that, for me sometimes I find that I don't think something is revealing and for someone else it is (even this question someone may think the woman in the picture is dressed revealing but I don't)

Anonymous · Answer

Because feeling like you look good really changes the stride in your step, who wouldn’t want to feel good? As for uncomfortable, that depends on the outfit and the person wearing it. Im comfortable in heels while i know other girls who literally can’t stand it. I used to hold back on wearing what i wanted to because i was afraid of getting attention, because i knew it would make me uncomfortable. But at this point i couldn’t care less, as long as i like what outfit i see looking back at me in the mirror, im good.

rtlm368 · Answer

Just my thoughts. Anyone that says they dont want attention drawn to them , would not dress in a way that draws peoples attention.
Ok so dressing that way feels comfortable on them. But they are more uncomfortable with the unwanted attention they get from the sexy way
they are dressed.
Now, if they really did not want to attract that attention, you and I both know all they have to due is dress like a great great grand mother and the would never have to feel the eyes upon. Then nor would they get approached. Well, maybe the occasional great grand father.
So yea if they really don't want the attention don't dress all sexy and revealing. Its better to leave it up to their imagination, any way. Then to lay all your cards down for everyone to see, anyway.

moonyshiner · Answer

Because I love my self I love my body I buy these sexy clothes for me to impress me when I look at the mirror it's not always for the guys we also admire our body and love to hype ourselves lol I enjoy seeing my curves in a mini dress so much but tbh I'd never wear too sexy in front of my male friends cause I know I'd cause them a heart attack lmao.

NoGamePlan · Answer

Because looking pretty makes you feel good.
A woman does not display her body for the pleasure of a man.
A woman does not dress to what a man thinks she should dress like.
That lady in the picture isn't even dressed "provocatively"... they're just shoulders dude.

Pamina · Answer

There's a difference between wanting attention and being aware of getting attention. Sometimes you're wearing something that you know will or might get attention, but it's not necessarily always why you're wearing it.

And there's are different types of attention. There's good and bad attention.

Syrian_survivor · Answer

Cuz they're lying and they actually want attention but just being narcissistic
Focus with me here, if they don't want attention, they wouldn't wear this shit
If a girl wears these stuff to look good it means she wants attention from guys, if she wants to "look good feel good" then there are always neat clothes that aren't revealing and girls have the choice to either wear them, look good, and not get any bad thoughts from people around her, OR wear slutty clothes, look good, n get wrong thoughts n wrong kind of attention. It's pretty simple, you can't control the minds of societies to not think it's a bad thing to wear such clothes anyway

MsLoli · Answer

Personally, a lot of the more "revealing" clothes make me feel confident and secure in my skin, which is highly reflected in my attitude at the time, so I'm not sure if it's actually tied in to getting attention since even sleeping naked (alone) can raise your self-esteem, and there's no one to give you attention there.
It's a strange psychological thing for some, but everyone has different reasons, I'm sure.

melanieeeB · Answer

I like to feel good in my own body, if that's a crime then oh well..
I love wearing tight clothing during summer and I do it cause I love myself and I work hard for my body, so I do like to show it off but I don't need the attention and I'm definitely not doing it for others, it's purely for my own pleasure and maybe in future also for my man's pleasure lol

Why do women wear sexy clothes if they don’t want attention?

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