Why do guys stare but don't smile?

since the start of this year, this popular guy always stared at me, that was when he was single, but he never really smiled and he never really spoke to me. in June I think it was he started going out with a girl and they are still together but he is still staring. all we do really is just constantly look at each other and when I'm not looking at him he stares at me, my friends tell me.

I've been told that he is very loyal to his girlfriend, she doesn't go to our school she already graduated, but if he's loyal why does he keep doing this?

we haven't really spoken before. and today something bad happened and I was crying and he looked really worried about me..

we are both the same age, 16.

please help



Most Helpful Guy

  • He doesn't know that you care about him caring. He doesn't know that you want him to smile at you or approach you. Apparently, if you smiled, he would smile back. And people tend to break up often at that age, so even if he's loyal, maybe his girlfriend will not be.

    Not everyone just walks up to others and say "hi" if they feel like they should. They start being conflicted about whether they should or shouldn't, as the thoughts of "what would she think if I did" and "what would everyone else think if I did" come up. And eventually the end result of the conflict is "eh, I guess I just won't." People can be cautious about what others could think of them, and don't want to risk their current state, whether it be better or worse if they did... Some people are afraid to take risks. This is one of those situations.


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What Guys Said 3

  • This is the order it should be in:

    Guy makes eye contact --> Girl returns it --> Girl smiles --> Guy smiles

    Trust me, you'll rarely find guys spontaneously smiling at you.

    It's really hard for us ;)

    • Wow that's interesting. Because I got freaked out by a guy who kept staring at me with this blank poker face. I couldn't understand why he would look at me and yet have no expression at all.

    • its really hard for us too.

  • Some guys are shy. And fear is part of shyness. What's more, if he does smile at you, and you smile back, then part of the ice is broken and he'll feel tremendous pressure to approach. And he probably doesn't know what to say that won't offend you.

    I'm 42 two years old, and I figured this out a long time ago, but coming back to this sight has reminded me why I did or didn't do what I did.

  • Because they don't wanna look gay. Smiling like a ninny looks gay, sorry...


What Girls Said 2

  • Funny thing, I've been in a similar situation. Maybe he likes you, but doesn't know how to approach you because you don't reciprocate or make any move back. And he might be loyal to his girlfriend but it's possible he doesn't like her all that much anymore, but doesn't want to break up... My advice: when he stares, maintain eye-contact and see what he does...maybe you should smile at him first, or go speak to him. But speak to him in a friendly manner, try to become friends first... you wouldn't want his girlfriend to get pissed or think that you're trying to steal him away. In the end, it really is up to him who he likes best, so if you do become friends and he feels more, he might just have enough courage to open up and tell you. That's how it happened with me.

    Just a word of caution though, don't let people see you staring at him too frequently because they will automatically assume that you are interested in him and it will cause some rumors and then you might have a few issues with his girlfriend.

  • i have had guys do that to me in the past as well. it is very confusing since they never come to talk to you but you hear things from his friends or your friends about how he might like you or he just likes looking and you never know exactly what he feels since you never talk to him. if he has a girlfriend I'm sorry to say I think he may just like staring at you, ha ha it sounds weird but he probably finds you attractive and would maybe look at you like the girl he could never get or the girl he has always wanted but never go after. I don't why guys do that but I have been in the same situation and I talked to them once but it never really goes anywhere, I sometimes think that maybe in the future something will happen since its kind of a mutual staring and something that both of us share. good luck and I would say wait it out but maybe flirt a little bit back, if his is intiating it then there is no reason you shouldn't go along with it even if he does have a girlfriend, I'm not suggesting cheating but a little flirting won't do anything wrong

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