I’m 28 and I have never dated, kissed and nevertheless had sex. I’ve had a crush on a guy whom I know has dated several girls before and well he is way more sexually experienced than I am. Recently we began talking and he has asked me out on a date. I don’t know how or if I should tell him about me being a virgin because I really want to stay this way until marriage... But I don’t know generally how guys react to this, especially when they are more sexually active.
I would really appreciate some help and opinions from you guys! Thanks 😊
Guys: Is it a turn off if a woman tells you she’s still a virgin?
From what I believe it’s the converse that’s the turn off. Chastity is a prize. Shouldn’t worry in your place. You become marriage material.
The rest of us get bad names but love happens, lust happens and that’s life. If you overcame these temptations you are definitely treated well within your relationship.
Yet again non virgins are given choice labels and patronizing talk.
1
0 Reply
Most Helpful Opinions
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I don’t think that’s bad. I’m 26 and still a Virgin. And it’s by choice. Until I find someone worth it. I’m not waiting till marriage but definitely for someone I love. I don’t regret waiting. And like the others said the right guy will accept you for you, the wrong guy won’t.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Being a virgin is not automatically a turn off. But wanting to wait for marriage is a turn off for me. I respect that people choose to do so, but that is not something I've ever wanted for myself.
It's not weird I know plenty of girls like that, but it also comes off as pretty stuck up which makes it even tougher, most of the time you're gonna have to go through a couple Mr wrongs to get to Mr right
I think it really depends on the reason why. At 28, to have never done anything with anyone may come across like you could be impossible to be physical with OR that you have serious social/relationship issues.
However, maybe you have a perfectly good explanation and they could be very understanding. It really depends on the person.
Also, if he's sexually active, the likelihood of him being down for waiting until marriage is slim. You have to consider the fact that sexual morality can make or break relationships and that it's neither person's fault if things don't work because of it.
Give it a try, see how it goes. If it doesn't work out, look out for people with similar values.
Well if you don't intend to have sex before marriage, that seems like something most guys would wanna know early on. For someone like me, I'm very much of the opinion that sex is a way for two lovers to learn more about each other and feel out this new connection being formed. Putting that experience behind the 'paywall' of marriage just wouldn't work for me. But there are plenty of guys who wouldn't have an issue with this, and may in fact be waiting until marriage themselves. Different strokes, different folks.
But setting aside the "sex before/after marriage" aspect, a girl being a virgin in and of itself wouldn't be a turnoff for me. I also don't mind if she's had 300 sexual partners in the past, so long as she hasn't caught any STDs or got kids I don't know about or exes blowing up her phone trying to get involved with her again. But a virgin in her mid-late 20s is like a rare unicorn lol, so you'll no doubt have a long line of guys who want to be your "first".
I'd also point out it's a common fantasy for men to take a girl's virginity-- it's that feeling of "I must be so special and so irresistible that this girl would give me something she's given to no other man before." We also like the idea of being able to "teach" a girl-- not in a demeaning way, men in general look for chances to prove their competence, skill, and knowledge to women; not just in sex, but in anything, from football to chess to kayaking to ballroom dancing to advanced calculus lol.
There could be some practical downsides to getting with a virgin, as she may not be as confident showing her sexual side, unaware of kinks she enjoys with partner, and her 'technique' will probably need some work in order to give a man eye-rolling orgasms. But many guys will enjoy the extra intimacy and closeness derived from helping her discover those things-- even if it means delaying some gratification compared to, say, a woman who's spent the last decade mastering the art of The Perfect Blowjob haha :P
In short, I wouldn't worry. Female virgins are not really stigmatised or looked down upon by men. We might be curious as to why you've waited as long as you have, but very few would see it as a defect, and many could be turned on at the prospect of being granted the honour of "deflowering" you.
I've been with girls who've told me that they've never done anything. As long as they're not 'easy', I'm not going to judge them. For example if they're in their twenties and they've never had sex and suddenly they're prepared to do it with me on the first night, that seems strange. If you're confident about it, you're proud of yourself, it can be a turn on.
I'm not the 'no sex before marriage type' and many guys aren't, so it's important to find the right guy. You should find a guy who believes in the same things that you do. He'll definitely understand and respect you for it.
If you want to stay that way until marriage, tell the guy ASAP. Its one of the TOP main reasons to never date a stranger only a friend. And let me tell you that for 80% if not more it IS a turnoff. Many assume your crazy or something is wrong with you, or your standards are too high. In this case, the no sex before marriage thing. They would expect you to masturbate, watch porn and do sexual stuff with them before then, because if not they will leave you hung and dry. I am the exact same way. I would not be with a person who hates me reasons. They are but very few. They very much react badly. They'll be scared, shocked, nervous or confused. The worse is when they mock you. At that point. He is sexually experienced. What do you think? If he's not a born again Christian 9/10x he is not going to want to stick around if he can't get you into bed with him.
It really depends on the guy, I've dated virgins who've lost it to me and also who haven't. When the girl did lose it, it was always her choice and we made it special. Some guys will respect it and will wait for you if they're really into you. Others will say they'll wait and hope you change your mind. For me, it was always better to know upfront then it be a surprise. You should let him know and if he likes you enough, he'll stick around. If it ruins it for him, probably not the guy you want to lose it to.
I know I'm not a guy, but I am a virgin.. Before I met my boyfriend and other guys that are now my ex's, some were okay with my choice, I even met a guy that had a high sex drive and he still wanted to be with me but I had to say no because I wanted to wait til after marriage and if he really had to have sex, I wouldn't be the right girl for him. For some guys it was a turn off and I was okay with it, I was honest with them and they were honest with me, and we will become friends. If he ask, you should definitely tell him and even if he doesn't it's up to you if you want to tell him right away.
I'm a "sexually active" guy. I can't say I knew a single girl who even tried to stay a virgin until marriage. But I personally would not find it a turn-off at all. I respect that.
I mean, what you'll obviously do is weed out anyone who isn't interested in something long-term... but that's kind of a bonus for you 😛.
The reason you should tell him, is because you should be upfront about the fact that his expectations might need to be re-calibrated. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just he needs to understand where you're coming from. Otherwise you end up with all sorts of stupidness.
So it might surprise him, but, it's not a turn off, in a way its a turn on. don't be ashamed of believing what you believe, no need to hide it.
There will be guys that will find it a turn off. Others will find it a turn on. And others will be neutral. I think that, in the end, what really does matters is that you openly discuss this with your partner. Virginity is not some sort of decease you have to get rid off. You are free to do whatever you want with your body and no one can say a word about it. So, I think discussing things is the best way to resolve things. If's he's cool about it then fantastic, if not, well, guess you dodged a bullet.
If you find things drifting in a sexual direction, it's best to tell him how you feel about it. Tell him you've stayed a virgin because you haven't found a man you wanted to gift yourself to, and that you don't believe in casual sex. I would advise you to leave out the "until marriage" bit. Perhaps you could say until "we get to know each other better", or "until we are sure we want to be intimate".
Speaking for myself, I've always looked for a strong intellectual connection, then an emotional connect, before I get into a physical relationship.
For the wrong kind of guys, yes it is a turn off. For the right guy, no it is not. I prefer to date virgins, but it is not a hard requirement for me. Also, I do not care what a girl did before meeting me, assuming she has no STD. As for bringing it up, this is totally when you feel comfortable, but definitely not on first date. Also you need to talk about it before things get too serious.
It's a part of respect to her when a woman tells she is still a virgin mean she don't meet to a guy before whom she faith from heart ♥ so it's not turn off and everyone in this world have secrets in past so don't bother about the matter of virginity if you love someone deeply from heart no matter what's going in the past of her/him life just be loyal in present relationship...
Well it was the other way around for me. My boyfriend was a virgin when I met him when we really got to know each other and felt the time was right. He told me and I respected that because I don't judge. I could tell he was nervous but appreciated the fact that he knew it was a sensitive topic for him. Just maybe start slow and if you feel like you know you want to give this guy your virginity too then go for it.
Nahh. I always think trust is very important and honesty is crucial. Even if its just a one night stand. Being a virgin is no crime. Just be honest about and if the other person doesn't respect it then he is just not good enough for you. Age doesn't matter. Its just a number after all.
If you are dating, most guys won't care, it's different for guys and girls, being a virgin when you're a guy is terrible and you should be ashamed of how no ones offered, or how you have so little game you can't get any, no matter the age, starting from as young as 13, some girls will raise it as a point against other girls but most men, talking somewhere around 90% here don't care unless they're looking for a hookup, even then
Being a virgin isn't a sickness or malady that you have to fix. Or apologize for. It should not be brought up 'till you're about to actually do the act, if even then.
Well, good for you for sticking up for what you believe in. Many guys don't want a 28yo virgin. However, any guy who truly loves you will honor your wishes and stick by you until you're ready.
You don't say if there is reason why you are saving yourself for marriage. Is it religious, cultural or personal? You also don't say what country you live in?
I have never gone out with a virgin that told me about it up front nor did it matter to me because I knew that soon enough and it never made a difference except more handle with care applied. When you get to it and if you don't want to do it them tell him. But, until then just relax and enjoy.
Nope, a turn-ON if anything. If she’s a virgin older than 23 or so, I’d find her that bit more trustworthy to stay faithful in a potential relationship. Of course I’d be open to sleeping with a girl who has experience, but I’d be just as open to a girl I’ve grown to like/love who is still a virgin, who I can allow to learn as we go if she lets me take that virginity 😋
Anyone care to explain why this opinion is so unpopular? A lot of other guys are saying it’s a turn-on but they’re not getting this many downvotes... 😕
Best thing to do is talk to him communicate with him your desire. If he respects you and your wishes then spend your time dating and getting to know him. If he doesn't and puts pressure on you then it's time to find a guy who will. Good luck to you. To give you hope my wife and I waited till marriage for sex and kissing. It was awesome.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
If I feel uncomfortable to tell a boy I'm a virgin then he's definitely not the boy I'd want to lose my virginity to.
In the real world, a woman who's still virgin at 28 would be considered a red flag by most guys. On GaG most guys would consider her the holy grail or something. Incels just really love virgins.
Not a turn off, but from my perspective it does kinda suck because I have to teach everything and the first time or first few times may be uncomfortable or painful for my partner. I will wait until she is ready, I would never pressure her into it, but I also will not marry someone I haven't had sex with.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
It's not a turn off but it means she's a prude and it'll be way to much work and effort to get her into the sack, some desperate guy will bend over backwards and wait for years for her but not me, I like sex and I'm not gonna wait more than a month for it
Not a turn-off, in itself, but you should both know up front if there's going to be no sex until you've entered into a lifelong contract. Don't hide it from him.
To the person who asked the question. Thank you I am a guy who is 26 and never dated or have sex with a girl. I am just shy to ask a girl out so I understand you. I am also a virgin so you are fine. I prefer someone who is virgin but be open a lot of guys like girls who are virgin cause it shows you are not a thot
Only if she also then tells me that she's planning on STAYING a virgin, until marriage or some crap. No thank you. But if it's just a case of like "oh I just haven't found the right guy yet, but I think you may be it," then no it's a turn on.
It surely means that it will be more complicated... but not really a turn off.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Yeah kinda. That means its gonna be all awkward and silent and just lay there (no moaning or expressing.) Vs someone with experience already knowing what areas to prop their leg up on the counter or knowing that exact angle for something to be ramming and being in the moment. Savoring the creampie.
Your not wrong for wanting to remain a virgin until marriage... and yes you should tell him if he can’t deal he will weed himself out and make room for the other guy to do so.
No. Some guys really like the idea of being some woman's first. Some guys are really religious and "traditional" and won't be with a woman otherwise. Other men don't care.
It doesn't matter if it is or not, you're better off making your boundaries clear and if that pushes some men away so be it. You know what you want and should be weeding out those men that aren't compatible in that way sooner rather than later.
It's not a turn-off. However, telling me that information makes me think they are interested in losing it. So there could be a huge miscommunication there, and if she didn't clarify, then that could awkwardness could be a potential turn-off
For me that's a major turn on for me but the problem with that is your attracted to a guy that has had sex and has wants and needs so if your not ready you have to tell him asap
2
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I’ve heard arguments from both sides. The pro is: when you have sex, it has the greatest effect on her attachment to you. Con: once you have had sex, she is heavily encouraged to cheat so she can try to find the most pleasurable dude. The first one was from many sources and the second is from a female friend of mine as a way to console me from an ex who just (most likely) cheated on me and was also a virgin.
You are your own person. If he doesn’t respect your wish to remain that way until marriage, it’s his problem. It wasn’t meant to be if he tries to force the situation. Just tell him.
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Most Helpful Opinions