I like her... and its been 3 month. please help me what to do?

[doremonsdost]

I like her and whenever I become too Frank to her. She always tells me about other guys how she met... How she went to the with him.. Etc. I don't like it. We've planned to meet in January. I said that I love her. But she said "she like me just as a friend and thanking me for the special feeling" She says that she fear of heart breaking and relationship etc.
We've trust over each other. But sometimes it feels like she is using me for other guys. Whenever I want to cut the connection with her. She do call and message me. I don't know what to do. ? ?

[btbc92]

She's not using you. You just want more and can't accept that her interest are elsewhere. Either be a friend and move on. Or cut her off if you th I j she is using you. Asker her what her intent is instead of assumptions. This is why now a lot of girls don't have male friends because you can't eitger respect our wishes or blame us for your feelings that we may not even have done. Why be friends with people who use You?

[btbc92]

Also as I point out to the same male user. Don't be selfish. Why do you want to pursue her? Compatibility is a big thing. You chat like a person in 3 months and you don't even know what they are about? Do you want kids, does she believe in premarital sex of any kind, abortions, marriage, etc. It's important. Get that out the way first. You can be friends for a year or two to determine that. And if she is comfortable with it, then maybe you two can date of you REALLY like her that much. Prove that you really want her. Because walking out after she said no, because she wants to be your friend will only prove that you just want to get into her pants and she would have dodged a bullet. She won't be missing out on anything because she is secure in herself to know herself and who she can or may not see a future with. Being friends can help you determine compatibility and if you really want something more beyond hormones and or lust. Because you don't want to date somebody you regret, end up with baggage and resentful feelings. Not worth it.

[btbc92]

Can't like a person*

I grow weary of guys who say they like me in such a short time, or just met them and we never had deep conversations and really get to them. How can you like me and you don't know me? Fall for the physical but then you don't like the true me or find out I'm Christian with such values. Red flags when I see or hear a guy like me, but don't know who I am or my deepest thoughts. I have to feel a bond on a soul level with that person. Let some guy rush me to feel something I don't, even if I'm willing to, he's out. I do so at my own time and pace. That's it. Like if I tried a guy to date me then I'm wrong. How he feels more important than my selfishness. And if I can't respect them, then that's not love, and therefore I have no right to him.

[emmily2396]

I feel like she is keeping you as a safe bet. I mean, why would she go out with other guys and not you? Have you asked her out before and she only accepted now?

If she knew those guys for far longer than you then that would make sense. Same if she didn't go with anyone else. Since she prefered to see them before you, then it is quite clear.

[Theundisputed01]

I’m kinda in a similar situation. A girl that I was friends with rejected me but she doesn’t want to be friends. I wasn’t bitter and stopped talking to her, she did it. She isn’t comfortable around me or trust me so I don’t know where to go from here. She is really acting immature if you ask me

[DylanXBailly]

Haven't had that much experience, but I think you should meet and give her an ultimatum, your not looking for a friend, I'm assuming you met on a dating site, your looking for a girlfriend

[btbc92]

You don't ever do that to a person. Especially somebody you say is your friend. She made it clear she wants a friendshuo. Healthy friendships turn into healthy dating. There is nothing wrong with friendships as long as it's healthy. You can't force somebody into that. Especially if it's going to be sexual. If you don't respect them, walk. Don't be selfish.

[doremonsdost]

Thanks for replying... But sometimes when she told me about other guys hide she met... And I appreciate that and say nicely to her. I ask more info when she will be meeting other guys. But the point is she ask me about the dresses what to wear... Boots etc. I don't know why but may be she is gonna to meet somebody else

[btbc92]

Look, she is entitled to that. She's single. She can do what she can because she is single. But yih are equally deserving to State what you want as well. We're not mind readers. Talk to her about what you want and understand where she comes from.

[btbc92]

She can't understand you if you don't say nothing, or at least give us something to understand. Like how I'm supposed to know that you also desire to have a family if you don't tell me that? Or that you want a house, do you want to start your own business, you looking to go back to college, you want to travel the world? A woman needs a man with vision and ambition. We can't see a future with you if you don't have a future to provide. Besides standards, religion, faith, beliefs, etc, you have to show us what makes you different and unique from other guys. Every guy says they want to go out and date us? But that just shows their not unique. It's generic. Overused, and boring.

[btbc92]

Remember a girl can go out with any guy. That does not guarantee she is going exclusive, having sex with them, or have a future. Usually it's entertainment. That's why you don't want a girl who's just attracted to your looks a personality. Because 9 out of 10 times she just going to use you for sex. And do that with every other guy anyway. I don't agree with it, especially as a Christian. But that's how you guys get hurt.

[btbc92]

And why some of those girls don't like me because I exposed their dirt and petty "flirting" games. Don't try to entertain a woman who wasn't trying to be serious with you to begin with. Because that's how they always end up single, Alone, full of baggage. And then try to project and dump that all on you.

[DylanXBailly]

True, but she isn't entitled to our friendship either

[btbc92]

If he does right by you and never did anything to disrespect you, yes she does. Otherwise, you'll end up being a lone and other girls will catch on how you treat women as a whole. Women needs friendship in relationships. Otherwise all you have is sex. if you can't provide friendship in relationships, that's why most girls try to seek that elsewhere with other men where they getting emotional needs met. And she'll grow distant from you. So you're right. She's not entitled to your friendship nor relationship. Good people don't treat you poorly. A guy doesn't want to have a friendship but expect me to have a relationship with him then that's not my problem he chooses to leave. I have no emotional connection to him.

[DylanXBailly]

Yeah, but according to him they met on a DATING site not a friendship site

[btbc92]

It doesn't mean they can't be friends. Not everybody uses dating sites for just strictly dating. It just gives a person room to talk about possibilities to be more which can still lead to courtship of compatibility is there. I don't find dating sites smart at all go find partners.

[DylanXBailly]

But that's what they're meant for, if you want a friend there are plenty of places to find them

[Avicenna]

There's nothing you can do. She has made it clear that you're just a friend.

[ZELLxoxo]

This girl is using you.

[outside_Toronto]

Walk away... you blew it and she's not interested