How to deal with being ugly and single?

[Anonymous]

I'm newly single after years. I'm ugly, maybe not disgustingly "make-children-cry" type of ugly, but yeah, I'm definitely not beautiful or hot. At best I'm average. But well, the thing is, I don't know how to cope. I feel ugly, and especially knowing that my ex hangs out with "hot" but empty headed girls doesn't make me feel any better, quite the contrary. I know about that because we live in a small city, and I happen to have friends in common with him, I know some of the empty headed girls he hangs out with, etc.

I'm ugly, but I'm smart and a nice person. However, it seems that even men in their 20s still go after empty headed, hot girls (I feel like high school all over again). I'm not looking to find a new guy, I think I need a break from relationships, I just want to know that everything is not lost, and that guys DO value personality and brains more than having T n' A or a stunning face. I just don't know how to deal with it, because as things are now, I feel like I'm less valuable than a hot but empty headed girl, just because I'm not hot. It sure seems that looks are more valuable than the inside, I'm sorry to say.

[kifster66]

You know what, I feel the same way. I've been with a guy and we became really good friends and we found we have so much in common etc etc, everything going perfect, etc etc. Then he tells me he would never date a girl as conservative as me...

At that moment I felt like strangling him, slap his head silly for losing out on a girl like me, because he'd never be able to find another girl like me, Just as your guy would never be able to find another guy like you. Exactly like you, I'm not hot or stunning. I'm 5 ft 2, I've been called pretty and I'm not chubby, but I'm not the smoking hot girls you see in clubs. The thing is, I knew that whatever he's saying right now, deep down, he's dreaming about that perfect girl he's going to wake up next to, that amazing girl he's going to want to love and hold and spend the rest of his life with, and its not going to be with your regular T and A chick. Let me tell you. Every girl is beautiful, we just can't help it, we're all gorgeous, that's just how God made us. And if you add brains and personality to that, your just smoking hot and remember girl, its us girls with character that win in the end. Because no matter how much guys pretend they're over love and they're just looking to score the prettiest girl, they need us, like anything. And when they need us they're just going to be snivelling little masses of tears who need our help to get them together again and face the world. They're nothing without us, so you go out there and be yourself, do the thigns you love, cause your awesome and he's going to cry at night for losing out on you ;)

[udolipixie]

That's pretty sucky to tell her she'll get a guy after he's done having fun with hotties. That's like hey I had my fun so now you'll do.

Why not tell her she'll get a guy who wants fun with her?

[kifster66]

if the guys got any worth he's gonna realize that he's been spending time with brainless chicks and he's going to miss her like crazy. and its upto her to decide if she wants him back, so I'm just laying out the psychological facts here

[Broken_InSide]

no you are not ugly, no one is ugly. everyone is beautiful in their own ways. you just said that you haven't been single since years, and that means that you can get a relationship anytime you want to.

don't say you are ugly and don't put this idea and your head and start to believe it.

YOU R BEAUTIFUL IN UR OWN WAY.

[udolipixie]

Not all hot girls are empty headed.

People go after attraction.

How to deal with being ugly and single?

Learn to love your body with its flaws, learn to be alone but not lonely & realize a guy is an accessory not the outfit.

[Asker]

I didn't say ALL hot girls are empty headed, but my ex's friends happen to be both hot and empty headed, and VERY MUCH. I'm just referring to the girls he currently hangs out with, the ones he preferred to being with me.

[udolipixie]

However, it seems that even men in their 20s still go after empty headed, hot girls

Is where I got that from.

Who cares what your ex does the fact that he values looks so much should lower your view of him not yourself.

[Asker]

It's difficult not to compare myself to them because I've been losing guys to that type of girl since I've been in high school and it's not fair, because everyone always goes "It's the inside that matters" but it's not! I still love him, and it hurts that he and many other guys keep doing this to me. I have had guys say I'm so great, su smart, funny, a dream girl, but that's it. I'm just a friend it seems. And not all hot girls are like that, but many are, just like there are mean ugly girls.

[LuvBiddy]

great answer

[big_jimy_pimp]

ok first of all. I said this before and ill say it once more. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU! now then who are you or anyone else to judge whether your hot/ugly/sexy/etc...women are all amazingly hot in there own way.sorry to say this but. if your ex is stupid enough to let some slow in the head bamboo rot his youth the he can fukk himself sideways. I hate it when a chick starts to lose self confidence like this it makes them fall apart. women are all hot I WOULD DIE for a chick who has the smarts. and good confidence, so what if your ex thinks your ugly he can't judge you he has a flaw too iam sure .only god is whole and and completely perfect.AND like a wise man once said only god can judge me. all women are hot never forget that, tomboys (alpha female type of chick) are amazingly hot even if they don't try the cute girl approach. but with there huge confidence and will to dress to empress they will flip heads. you some times see wearied looking couples that are deeply in love and think each one looks amazingly hot. so never fell down because of looks you will find a real man soon. and chicks with no brain have no confidence so I exchange a few word`s a dirty joke to see the reaction and then decide, they suck boring I can shier my life with some who keeps asking for a boob job. and hay if your brave enough to ask this then your HOT AND SEXY.. jimy out

[big_jimy_pimp]

it took me a hour to get that right

[JonDHawk]

Every girl is beautiful in there own way. Let my ask you who says you're ugly? If it's just yourself doesn't hold much credit. I think you should google "Who Says" by Selena Gomez. This song has so much truth in it. You may not be a beauty queen but your still beautiful you.

[Dom163]

First off your self esteem needs work so here's what you do everyday at least once day but whenever you walk by a mirror say I am beautiful it may not mean anything at first but over time you will come to embrace it

Secondly just be who you are some guys are shallow but not all that goes for women as well but things aren't lost you will find someone just don't be so down on yourself

[zagor]

A lot of girls don't have an accurate view of how guys see them. There may be a lot of guys who are attracted to you. I don't necessarily go for what is TV's idea of beauty.