Are men supposed to help women, if the woman is carrying heavy objects?

[Anonymous]

The other day, this girl at work started moving some boxes around the office, not because they told her but simply to clean the office. I think the boxes were heavy as she was struggling with them. I was on my desk doing my work and she kept staring at me, as if she wanted me to help her. Also, because she was a female, I felt that I should have helped her. At the end, I didn’t because moving boxes is not my job and she decided to move the boxes on her own. I felt guilty about it, mainly because she was a girl and I was taught to always lift and carry stuff for women. I don’t think I would have felt the same if it was a guy.

[hahahmm]

This isn't necessarily a male/female issue. Yes, outside of work, I would say, only help a lady (women who respect and appreciate men) & let women who claim to not need men do stuff on their own. But in the work environment it's a little more complicated. The question should be if she's a team player or not. Forget about the fact she's a woman. Imagine a guy was moving those boxes. Would you help him or not. And also is the individual a team player or not. If they're not a team player I wouldn't help them. If they have a history of helping me/my team I'd go to the end of the earth for them. That's just my style. But team work means both people. Not one person lifting 1 box and then letting you lift 50 boxes.

Also don't risk your health on a job. Don't go lifting stuff that is borderline too heavy. It's not worth getting injured on the job over anything like that. Lots of guys have been seriously injured because dumb bosses told them to do something dangerous & the employee didn't use their brain.

[AmandaYVR]

The variety of female responses here is definitely exemplifying the problem. No wonder men don't know what to do, what is wanted or expected of them.

I'm going to represent the women and girls of the world who would appreciate help. I never take it as an insult or in any way demeaning. In fact, the vast majority of the time, males pass me by when I am struggling with something heavy and I find it quite off-putting that this is the world we live in now. I'm not going to call it chivalry, and frankly the labels we apply to things like this don't matter as much as the act itself - whether it is done, or not done. It all comes down to this.

Men are stronger physically, most of the time. They have this advantage. Yes, there are some atypically strong females out there, and good for them, but I miss the days when guys and girls used to help each other out more, and not just ignore each other in the name of... in the name of I don't know what. If I saw a guy shopping in a home goods type store or grocery store or something and he looked exasperated trying to choose between whatever products, which I very likely know something about, I would not mind at all offering help, just a bit of advice or information. This is just one example that comes to mind. Men and women are not the same. We are equal, but not the same, and I think people are really taking things way too far now where what it comes down to is 'you're on your own now.' People don't help each other out as much now. I think it's sad and the world is the worse for it.

[CaptainOverthink]

I completely agree.
Its sad that we've divided ourselves this way and that labels are being thrown around as if they knew people they don't. People are simplifying too much by grouping people up in judgy ways.
Not sure what to do about it, I think social media and the digital norms of today are the main problem. We don't meet people face-to-face enough and fewer people tolerate difference of opinions. It's too easy to be isolated to groups that only thing the same online. It's unhealthy for society.

[Honesttguy]

In name of feminism. Asked guys to back off we did. Now women are forced to become stronger, its not guys to blame this time. Women have to reach that strength level where they can take responsibility for their actions. It is this way we created it, now we have to live here. Feminism needs to change as u can see how much pain its bringing to table.

[Juxtapose]

To be fair, if there's nobody else around or any surveillance, isn't it extremely dangerous to interact with a female alone in the workplace due to the potential of false accusations that do not need to be substantiated in order to get you fired?

The Pence rule is a very real thing in today's climate.

If it wasn't for that insanity, I would largely agree with you although I think if somebody needs help they should ask. I will help people without asking but if they just stare at me I think: "USE YOUR WORDS HUN!"

[AmandaYVR]

@Juxtapose I know, it does seem easier if women just asked for help if they needed it. But it's not that simple. It's not a matter of us being indirect. It's that it doesn't feel good to ask. Even when I genuinely could use help with something really heavy, I don't want to bother or inconvenience people. I have even been offered and just instinctively, before I even really had a chance to process it, replied, "Oh, no thank you." And why? Well, for that reason. But I honestly think it would have been better, in the end, if I had accepted the offer, because it would have shown the guys that it was wanted, was appreciated. And in the end, I would like for this dynamic to continue in society, of people helping each other (both sexes, both directions.) We should do whatever we can to encourage the behaviour that we don't want to die.

@Honesttguy Ok, it's partly feminism. But it's partly also the urbanization of society - where ~ 15 years ago the global population tipped to more people living in tight, urban centres, and that creates more self-sufficiency in some ways (in others, we just outsource all our work to others, for cash), and disconnection from one another, while losing a sense of community. The less privacy and space we have, the more stopgaps and compensations we make to counter it. Ignoring strangers is one of these.

And yes, women are not in agreement about feminism - both what it is, and what it stands for. I am for equal opportunities, equal pay for equal skill and experience, more women in executive and governmental positions, and safety from male-perpetrated violence. That's about it. Has absolutely nothing to do with world domination or men getting their comeuppance. I don't want to live in an eternal patriarchy, but I mean what I say, literally, when I say I am an egalitarian. Different, but equal.

[AmandaYVR]

And, it pisses me off when you've got militant types, like JustAHumanHere, who is quick to call something like an offer of help, sexist. Give me a break.
Aside from some bitter and unreasonable males, we've got another issue here, and that is the divide amongst women. (And I don't think it's simply a matter of age and generations. There are young females on this thread who think like I do, and have also downvoted the opposing views.) There are clearly two versions of 'feminism', if one should even call it that. Maybe one is more aptly feminism, and the other is misandry. I don't know.

[Juxtapose]

If you ask nicely then someone like me would be more than happy to help.

As long as us guys can help without getting sued (within reason) we generally enjoy being helpful! I like making people happy unless they're mean to me then I just avoid them.

[Juxtapose]

But if a woman is just staring at me then it almost feels like she expects the help and won't appreciate it, ya know?

[Juxtapose]

I'll try to keep what you said in mind though.

[AmandaYVR]

@Juxtapose Thanks. I appreciate it.
Good dialogue/discussion.

[uniquelyshy]

I've carried lots of heavy things before not that I wanted to but I needed to in order to get things done and lots of guys have walked right past me, I mean yeah at first I was mad that they didn't help or at least offer to help and I would have asked but before I ever had a chance to let walked right past me, and I would have been happy if a guy helped me it doesn't matter what other woman say about men if he was willing to help me id be glad it would get done faster and so much easier but there was one time a guy offered to help me I wasn't mad because i knew I was strong jusy not strong enough to carry what I was trying to carry so ai said thank you showed him where the car was and that was that, and I would help guys, girls, pregnant people, and even old people because they need help but your right in the work place it can be hard because if done privatley or unsupurvised you could be accused of anything I get that so i would offer my help or ask for help but I would never get anyone into trouble even if I was mad at them I would rather talk it out and see if we can resolve it that way before anything else.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

If we're both carrying heavy stuff as a shared work duty (eg: unloading stock boxes from a storeroom to the shop floor), then I generally try to take at least around 60% of the load going by weight if I'm with a female colleague, just accounting for average difference in male/female strength.

With a male colleague it's either 50/50 or we just grab whatever without thinking. But it's more expected in retail that nobody escapes stock duty, so girls in retail tend to be pretty self sufficient and won't often ask for help. Although I'll still offer if I'm in a position to help, and she's carrying heavy stuff. If it's a single box I might just leave it because that comes with the territory of the job and I don't wanna imply she can't handle it. But if she's got like, a heavy box full of coffee beans, AND 2 or 3 bulk packs of soft drinks piled on top, then I'll take off the excess load and walk together. That way she doesn't feel like I'm trying to "rescue" her, it's just considered part of the team spirit of "mucking in". I don't know what it's like in more corporate settings, but in retail nobody stays empty handed for long.

[FlyGirl95]

Gender rollaways. There are men in the world who don’t help and don’t feel guilty. There are men in the world that don’t help and feel guilty. If she didn’t ask you to help then there “should” not be an expectation for you to help. Obviously men have a traditional role to be the night that saves the damsel in distress. Some women like that and others do not. Soooooo as far as the woman is concerned it’s her burden to carry if she didn’t ask for help and doesn’t receive any help. The same goes for the woman who doesn’t like to be forced into the damsel in distress role. Sure it can be frustrating to many that women are placed in these roles.


At the end of the day you did the right thing by not helping. She didn’t ask and there shouldn’t be any expectation. As for your guilt over it. I am sorry. Without being in your shoes I can only say please don’t feel guilty.


Kindness and love towards those around you should exist no matter who you are. And if that means helping someone out then that is your way of being kind. If simply smiling is your way without helping— —. then so be it. What no one should do is wish bad things upon others. Everyone has had their own difficulties and challenges. Best not to judge regardless of gender and roles.


Best to simply be kind and loving.

[grega239]

Not to be a dick , but you mention men's traditional role.
Women also have traditional roles but mentioning them is taboo today

[FlyGirl95]

I didn’t bring it up because the question centered around men’s roles 😉

[CubsterShura]

I can usually manage heavy stuff on my own because I used to lift in the gym, not anymore since corona happened though so I lost all my strength. Anyway, I'd usually not care if a man doesn't offer to carry it for me. But if someone does offer I say thank you and let them. It just means I get to do less work, plus he offered. However if I really would rather carry it myself I'd thank him for offering and carry it on my own, or maybe halfway I would stop him and say that I can carry the rest by myself.

There was this new boy in my school who lived most of his life in America, spoke in the perfect American accent and couldn't speak our native language very well. He used to get bullied a lot and I would kinda watch out for him simply because I also got bullied before so I can't just sit and watch seeing others in that situation.

One day we had a class and there was no empty chair for me, so I went to another empty classroom to bring a chair, I didn't even notice Mr. America was behind me and he picked up the chair on his own and said 'it's fine'. He really came all the way just to help me, his effort would be ruined if I said no so I let him and thanked him for his help.

[CalmYourTits]

Dude, even if she was a guy you should have helped. The work can get done faster. You could get the heavier ones for her, and she can take the lighter ones. If it were a guy you could split the heavy ones. It's called, teamwork.

One day, you are going to need help and she will remember you did not help her. Also, you're building bonds. Maybe one day you really want a coffee, and she happens to be at the coffee shop, and as a thank you she gets you a coffee. I am not saying you should do things to get in return, but I do a lot of things that is not my job; and, I find my luck is amazing the more I contribute to the community I am in.

To be honest, your temperament about the workplace is unfortunate.

[Juxtapose]

Eh, if she really needed help she could have asked like an adult.

[Juxtapose]

And if he's alone with her without any surveillance he shouldn't interact with her in the workplace anyway, Pence rule exists for a reason.

[Juxtapose]

"According to a 2019 LinkedIn report, 30 per cent of corporate superiors (of both male and female genders) felt uncomfortable mentoring female colleagues. Female workers are considered by some to be "an unknown risk" to banks, akin to market, liquidity, contract, and user risks. According to a December 2018 Bloomberg study, financial professionals often refuse to eat dinners alone with female colleagues and clients, sit apart from them on flights, book rooms on different hotel floors, and avoid meeting them one-on-one, particularly in private rooms. Private meetings with senior members are typically conducted "with the door left wide open".

[CalmYourTits]

@Juxtapose www.amazon.com/.../ref=sr_1_1

[Juxtapose]

I'm not worried about interactions with normal people, I'm worried about the semi-rare sociopath who is going to look for a chance to extort me because the rules will let her.

[Soldier_946]

Women like you are so wonderful but rare...

[CalmYourTits]

@Soldier_946 I was just lucky to grow up with a community.

[JackSmy]

I hear what you are saying, and I felt the same, reading your post! However, NOW, it seems that A LOT of women use that CARING, HELPING IDEAL, to their advantage!!
Like when the American soldiers in WWII gave children chocolate bars, but then, in Vietnam, they used that against us, and the kids were carrying explosives!!
YEAH, A HUGE DIFFERENCE, between the two, but in my experience, and with MeToo, I am actually afraid to even date any woman, because if it doesn't go well, she might just use the EXPLOSIVES and call it abuse, when I never even touched her!! Her word against mine, and the WHITE guy is ALWAYS getting screwed now!!

[yucychan]

I hate using that word "supposed", because it's like doing something I do not want to.
Whenever I helped someone, e. g. keep the doors opened for the delivery guy, give up my seat to the elderly or a pregnant lady etc., I did it because I wanted to, not because I was supposed to.
You should have helped her, not because she is a lady, but because she is having difficulties with the boxes. Similarly, if it was an elderly gentleman or any other colleague who was having difficulties with the boxes, you should have at least offered to help.
It's pretty sad if you feel that you should not help because it's not your job.

[VanillaSalt]

Should and supposed to are the same damn word...

[JustAHumanHere]

You thought you should help her because she's a woman? Dude. No. Just. No. Don't you see how that's like super sexist? If she wanted help, then yes ofcourse but that's not the concerning part of your statement. The concerning part is that you think just because she's a girl you need to do it, like she's incapable. She's a human just like you are, even if your a little stronger. Your not treating her like an equal if you think of her as being weak, and just because she struggled to do it doesn't mean she can't do it.

[Honesttguy]

Hey hey chill, its not our fault we are being brainwashed in being nice to women. I know right, they should teach guys how to not get so easily manipulated by women pretending to struggle. she's fuking strong and have to carry her weight in work not slack off on guys backs.

[AmandaYVR]

This is not sexism! An offer to help is not discrimination or asserting superiority or a higher value of one person over another.

It's reckless to throw around such words, and it speaks more to your character and issues than his, that you condemn this man for questioning whether to help another person who is struggling with a task.

It is people like you who are creating a more divisive, contentious and litigious society.

[psychoticanimaIIover]

Forget gender for a minute (since 999 times out of 1000 it is irrelevant). If someone is struggling with heavy boxes (maybe they’re slight, maybe they’re frail, maybe the boxes are just pretty damn heavy) it’s generally polite to help, but in a work environment it might not have been appropriate.

[Juxtapose]

In a work environment a man should never be alone with a woman anyway, unless he wants to risk a false allegation.

[psychoticanimaIIover]

@Juxtapose By that logic, a woman should avoid being alone with a man in any environment, unless she wants to risk being raped.

[Juxtapose]

Hun, it's a lot easier to make an accusation rather than rape somebody and risk being caught later.

[Juxtapose]

Actually there is no risk to him, because regardless if the man actually did anything, you will be taken at your word. So it's a guarantee.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Juxtapose Yes.

[SphynxUK]

If a woman needs help, she’ll ask for it.
No one is going to struggle or risk hurting themselves when they know there’s someone nearby that could help out.


I personally detest men asking to help when I’m doing a perfectly good job myself. I may look slight, but I’m fit as f*ck and use weights when I’m unable to run or row.

[Honesttguy]

See your strong, other women are forced to get stronger as well. But they dont want to take that responsibility on themselves so they get angry on us guys for not doing things for them. Its like there 2 groups of women, geta guys confused where they now asking question, what to do.

[KrakenAttackin]

@SphynxUK. Here she is, the one that calls HR when a man offers help.

[EaterPeter]

Being kind is what matters. Not just to women. I offer helping hand to guys too. I just say 'may I' some times to women. Some times I say 'allow me please'. 'Let me take care of it/that' for for you. She probably would have been happy if you have lended hand. Mind reading is something I don't like to do. She probably had expressions on her face. Can't you read my mind dummy. And i would probably get my answer from my brain silently. Keep moving bro since you are not sure it is ok to not offer help. When in doubt stay quite.

[Pepe_luv]

I only help sick or pregnant people or old people or someone who asks gor my help
if they were doing something like that. I surely wouldn't expect A GUY to help me
But yes sometimes if i carry something heavy, i would want ANYONE to help me out. ANY PERSON not just a man.

[ct1243]

I guess men don’t stuff like than anymore and sadly I don’t expect men to open doors for me or pull out chairs. It’s rare , but it’s good to see men help women even it’s helping her with groceries to her car. I had to take my groceries in the house today while my male friend watch. I asked my 12 year old nephew to help me. My friend eventually helped me and he felt weird doing so. So , I do things on my own , but I show gratitude when a man shows chivalry.

[ct1243]

I still believe in chivalry maybe with men overseas because men here in the states I don’t expect anything. Those traditional aspects are gone unfortunately.

[VanillaSalt]

Chivalry is just another way of saying woman’s privilege. A privilege you gave up when you wanted equality.

[ct1243]

Well I guess we all suffer because a lot of women don’t want chivalry anymore @VanillaSalt

[Juxtapose]

I open doors for guys too, I'm not going to give women any special treatment.

[ct1243]

Ok @Justapose question: Will things ever go back to the way it use to be?

[Juxtapose]

Doubtful, society is constantly changing & women are only going to get closer to men's capabilities via cybernetic implants and whatnot. Eventually I think humanity will transfer to brains in android bodies or the like.

[Juxtapose]

Why? Do you want less freedom but more pampering?

[ct1243]

What’s wrong with affection? What the hell happened to love?

[ct1243]

I’m just one voice and person and it seems like the close thing that I’ll achieve is love in a fairytale book.

[VanillaSalt]

Look ct. all filters off don’t get mad. Men pay a price for this so called privilege. If the family fails were overwhelmingly the ones blamed. Finance, protection, pursuit of a relationship, working hard jobs and long hours, draft, don’t defend yourself... these are the responsibilities of men. This “pays” women for homemaking, childcare, submission, security, ease, and the sacrifices make.

What these people want, majority or loud minority don’t matter, is equality. This means the end of these privileges. You don’t have the right to these special treatments if you really want equality.

Now the big thing is this. You can’t have it both ways. The basic foundation has to either be one or the other. Studies show women are more unhappy today then when they were all about family and their husbands.

Women generally want a man more capable than them. When everyone is equal how many women will miss out? I mean we fail to consider consequences for the things we do... women pushed for boys scouts accepting women over extending their girls scouts... now there’s trans women in women’s sports and women hate it. Welcome to the party.

[ct1243]

@VanillsSalt I’m out the party 🎉

[ct1243]

I hate society I’m ok thanks

[Juxtapose]

I give plenty of affection in love but I better get treated the same way!

[ct1243]

Ok I’ll give it to the right person @Justapose

[grega239]

Yeah well women aren't in the kitchen either sadly but still expect chivalry

[ct1243]

Only for my husband... @grega289

[ct1243]

Grega239 sorry

[Coulis]

Yes, men should help lift hea y boxes because they typically have more arm strength. It shows social grace not because women are unable to lift heavy boxes. Now, if she has been hired for this job and is trying to schill it off on you then I understand where you are coming from.

[Mamaganja]

Unless she asks for help, don’t offer it. Or simply say, “If you need help, just let me know.” You’re not her boyfriend or husband. Some women might be offended you even asked... ridiculous, I know but still. You never know who you’re dealing with.

[Honesttguy]

Thank you for this answer.

[VettaMonroe94]

Good lordy 🤦🏾‍♀️

[ayomanwya]

Well said 😌

[LesterJester]

I'll offer, but if they say no, then I don't push the issue and leave them be.

For your situation, it sounds like it would have been decent to at least offer. It might not have been your job, but it probably wasn't in her job description either. She decided to move them, but it wouldn't have taken very long to lend a hand so she was done sooner.

You do you, of course, but I would have offered.

[Raveagit]

It's a good rule, I follow it with my wife, but only when she is actually struggling with things.

HOWEVER the platinum rule is to treat people how they deserve to be treated based on their actions. Women have chosen to declare that they are the same as us so they now deserve in general to be treated the same. Let them move boxes, sign them up for the draft, box them as you please. (Also just make them do their job, it was during work.)

[VettaMonroe94]

I think it's a respect thing. You didn't have to help because she female, but because you saw her struggling. If I see a guy struggling, I would help him just because it's the decent thing to do. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I can't just watch someone struggle when I can clearly help them.

[SpiderManFan2002]

I think if someone is struggling with lifting something and you have the physical capability to help them, regardless of your gender or their gender, you should help them.

[ct1243]

You didn’t know men aren’t chivalrous anymore? The feel women don’t need men.

[SpiderManFan2002]

Eh, I don’t really believe in “chivalry” I just think it’s better to be a kind person in general🤷🏾‍♀️And to be fair, when I’ve needed help lifting stuff, guys have helped me- and girls too, it really just depends on who’s there and if they’re physically able to help me lol or kind enough lol😅

[ct1243]

I believed in chivalry not anymore unfortunately. It’s courtesy when due.

[SpiderManFan2002]

in my opinion, it’s just better to be a kind person. In conclusion, kindness to everybody >>> chivalry

[Minahh]

The thing is we can carry those things (unless we need to move our bed or wardrobe then obviously we hire someone to do that) but we are so glad when a guy offers to help especially just random guy when he sees us struggling. In extreme cases girls can get mad for you helping them but those usually feminists who take it too far. Some time ago one guy offered me to put my shopping basket back in place. Just a kind act like that made my day.

[Inquisitive3]

Yeah you sound like a crappy person (not your job). I'd help anyone, male or female, if they were struggling. I have done so in the past in fact. I helped a buff guy carry a TV because he was struggling and I wanted to help.

[Inquisitive3]

@Honesttguy "in fact that they dont help for their own safety legal rape, sexual assaults you know."

Stop raping women and you won't go to jail.

[Inquisitive3]

@Honesttguy You have NO clue as to how the legal system works. You only have a guilty conscience because you rape women.

[Inquisitive3]

@extremelybored Well, you look retarded. Your hat is too small for your head.

[locutus9999]

not really... I usually help old women and pregnant women. If I help someone else is out of kindness when I am in a good mood. You need to undertand that they are not entitled to be helped. If you do help is cause you feel like. And they should appreciate the effort you are doing. Is a courtesy not an obligation.

[Holisticapproachsara]

I refused one time a guy to help me. Its men offer to help me sometimes and i dont like it bcs i want to learn to do shyt myself. Though i try to help guys sometime and open the door for them and so

[Paul09]

In general I like to help whom ever. But nobody is entitled to it. If you need help ask! This "suppose to" b. s... So e women believe they should be automatically helped? You're a grown ass adult, deal with it like everyone else. If that were even true, that we were "suppose to", then what are women "suppose to" being doing exactly? Seems very one sided.

[offendedsorbet]

No, don't assume a woman is weak or needs help, if she really wanted help she would have asked. I lift heavy things daily for work and still struggle but I dont want or need help.

[TheRealQuestion2]

Supposed to is a bit extreme. But it is generally considered to be good manners to offer assistance in such situations.

Im not sure what to think about her apparently expecting your assistance. In todays world where the pursuit of gender equality is overtaking chivalry, offering assistance could be taken as an insult.

[ct1243]

Incorrect there are women who still value and respect that. It’s becoming rare and a non expectation to a lot of us. I don’t expect men to even court women less more marry them.

[TheRealQuestion2]

Im glad there are women who still value chivalry. I tend to think radical feminism is having a negative impact on society.

[ct1243]

Yes done of us do, but this hope of traditional core values from men eh I don't know anymore you know.

[VanillaSalt]

I agree feminism is negatively impacting women. But if you speak out against it your sexist. If you help with a door your a bad person. Hell one guy got sent to jail for rape when she false claimed it. Further on the found video evidence to save him.. he stopped to help with a tire. I don’t help women anymore.

[VanillaSalt]

Oh ya she suffered no consequences

[ct1243]

I think I’m safer under a rock 🪨 I see what’s going on.. I have no chance out here. I’ll never get looked at properly by men. Traditional dating and etc is gone. The key isn’t locking men up or false claims not on my end, but I can’t speak on other women. Thanks @VanillaSalt

[EmmaMary]

Naturally it's entirely your prerogative whether you wish to offer any help or assistance, however I would call it simple common courtesy to do so.

[DizzyDesii]

They can offer like “do you need help with that?” But i hate when someone continues to insist after i said No

[Singlechic]

I’m from the south so usually it’s first nature for men to jump up in help. It’s definitely always appreciated! Even if the help isn’t needed it’s nice to be asked if I need help!

[proNutro]

You don’t have to but it’s really nice to help. Personally I’m too embarrassed to ask for help and would rather struggle so I’d hope a stronger person offers to help, it would be much appreciated.

[heatherlou]

If I see anyone struggling with something I can help with, I offer to help. It's really that simple.

[KrakenAttackin]

@heatherlou. As a woman you are allowed to offer help, men are not... especially men that might be considered "creepy".

[heatherlou]

Of course you're allowed to offer. If someone is uncomfortable, they'll refuse you're help.

[KrakenAttackin]

@heatherlou NO a man is NOT ALLOWED to offer help, this is right out of the 2021 HR training.

[heatherlou]

Your HR is out of whack if its encourages a discriminatory practice "As a woman you are allowed to offer help, men are not"

[KrakenAttackin]

No, it says "you (meaning anyone) should not offer unsolicited help", but we all know this means women can and men cannot.

[heatherlou]

So you don't believe the polices you're lecturing on? Great.

[KrakenAttackin]

Huh? I am telling you what HR is telling us.

[heatherlou]

And your telling me both women can and offer help
AND
Women can't offer help.

[KrakenAttackin]

@hetherlou? Is English your first language? Re-read my posts.

[Anonymous]

Jeez you are useless, aren't you?

It may not be your job but a decent human being helps someone who is struggling be they man or woman. Hope your boss saw this and fires your useless ass for not being a team player.

[JuliaStyles]

A gentleman would have helped her but I guess you didn't fall into that class. I would think more into the anon troll class.

[kkirk4442]

Yes, it's only reasonable being as most men are stronger than are most women. It's part of caring about others, to help people.

[VanillaSalt]

I would y and I wouldn’t feel bad either. Women won’t help you when your struggling so ya just ignore them next time.

[NamerOfStars]

Well, it's generally polite to ask someone who seems to be struggling if they need help, regardless of gender. But if they don't ask...

[KrakenAttackin]

Absolutely not. Have you done your latest HR training? By assuming a woman wants it needs help moving objects you are committing an overt act of sexism, including pregnant women. You should not offer help but wait until help is requested. No shit.

[Exterminatore]

I’d also add since many yammer on about equality they are not entitled to utilize a man’s strength for their own ends and can lift those boxes by themselves. In fact they can get their own doors, pay their own way on dates, and fix their own electronics and vehicles. That’s equality. Since they like the word equality so much men should let them have true equality and fend for themselves in every arena of life.

[EssenceOfLight]

Depends who and when. Even if I help random women in public with doors, strollers and heavy things... etc. It's in job a little bit more complicated, especially if they aren't able to open their mouths and to ask nicely for help.

[AdithyaR]

You shouldn't need to feel obligated to help anyone.
You should do it cause you want to.

I'd offer to help irrespective of whether it was a man or woman, it's just polite and I like to do it.

[BunChan]

Regardless of gender, ask if they need help. If they say no. Then no means no 🤷‍♀️

[douride2]

If it was a guy doing the heavy lifting would you help? What ever you answered is the right move.

[Asker]

No I wouldn’t

[NopeWhatTime]

Offering to help is certainly polite, but not required. Also if you offer and she refuses your help, leave it at that and don't keep persisting

[BillHe1]

Women's Lib or Not. It is the polite and "manly" and proper thing to do. It will always be the proper thing for a gentleman to do. Now if she stops you and shuts you down, then that is different.

[extremelybored]

Nope. Only woman I care about helping is my girl, lol at all the femensits somehow mad about suggesting to help.

[departedthe]

If I know the woman I always tend to help her out. If I don't know the woman I usually don't, unless she is a frail old lady or something.

[Puppystarfish23]

If anyone is struggling you help them no matter their gender

[pigoat]

You help of you want to

Don't be such a bitch and feel bad about it

You're annoying as fuck anonymous

[anon1903]

She was staring at you not only because you were man but also as you were a bystander that could help and a coworker.

[Juxtapose]

She should have used her words.

But if it was just me and her and nobody else was around with no surveillance, I wouldn't want to be within 60 feet of her. False allegations are a very real thing.

[anon1903]

Understood

[Juxtapose]

It's a shame, this is leading to the segregation of the sexes when we need to bond more.

[anon1903]

Indeed.

[Anonymous]

If she needs help, she'll ask. To immediately assume she's too weak to do it would be disrespectful. It's like being tall when someone short is trying to reach something: you must never offer, but you must never refuse.

[Horny-ashell]

In my experience yes I would definitely carry boxes for any women that I seem that was moving and I'd feel very good for lending a helping hand.

[RingOfFire]

"Are men supposed to help women, if the woman is carrying heavy objects?"

Easy one... YES. If you don't you're a wimp.

[andreasderjuengere]

For the team spirit within 'my' company, I'd offer help of course.
Unless this girl had been 'bitchy' earlier - which does happen, I hear.

[JesterRose]

If she can't open her mouth and ask like an adult. She doesn't deserve the help.

[Honesttguy]

Hm it does make sense, now with feminism they want to be strong and shit and if she's strong she would just ask for help, it seems feminism sucks for weak women now as they are forced to become stronger or suffer.

[sheikalana]

Is not mandatory but if you're a gentleman a see a woman struggling just give her a hand.

[Anonymous]

I some cases yes. If we are both carrying items men should carry the heaviest item. Like if I have a case of water as a bag of potatoes the man should carry the water. But at work, we are fine to do that ourselves. If I wanted help I would just ask

[Anonymous]

I had guys help me a lot and im so thankful cause i would never be able to and i truly appreciate it

[bowenw]

I think good people offer to help others regardless of sex.

[Juxtapose]

I don't reward passive aggressive behavior. If she wants help, she can fucking ask.

[hellacray]

I'd offer help but if she says she got it then I leave her alone.

[Alice2J]

Helping is caring so it's up to you because it's your choice

[vee31]

No , but maybe if they ask u or they wearing heels. But u help her , she still have to help carrying

[lucas262]

I usually help anyone who needs it, just don't expect anything from it and your fine, still kinda simpy