Trusting your girlfriends "guy friends"

[Pants]

I love my girlfriend and trust her completely. It's the guy friends I don't trust. I have had every girlfriend I've been with cheat with me so far. I have let my girlfriend know that I have trust issues, she has been very accommodating being very open and honest. I know that she has guy friends, its only natural. I also have girl friends, also natural. I have met most of her guy friends and trust them because she has known them for years. What makes me mad is that she won't hear from a guy for months or a year and then he pops his head in the picture. That or it's a guy from nowhere on the radar that just shows up saying he got her number from a friend. She says that he is an old friend or just a nice guy from one of her classes and isn't interested in her that way. As a guy I know why this cat is sticking his head back in the picture or showing up in the first place. More often than not I turn out to be right and she tells the guy to leave her alone she is in a relationship with me and very committed. The problem is that it never seems to stop. There is always some guy who somehow gets her number threw a friend and starts calling her. Is she simply naive to all these guys intentions or does she simply like the attention. I know she loves me, hasn't cheated on me and never would. She doesn't understand that it's not her I don't trust it's these guys I never met. She is a very pretty girl. Have any other guys dealt with this, if so how? I don't trust anyone I don't meet how can she except me to also. I am starting to ramble now I just need some advice. Thanks in advance!

[Anonymous]

Well, I'm a girl and I used to be just as naive. I was so pretty other girls were jealous and hated me. So I didn't have any friends... just 100s of jerks, who claimed to be my friends, chasing after me. Well, you can guess what happened to me after years of no one to turn to and lots of pain.

A girl would be friends with a guy "just to be friends." She doesn't understand that it doesn't work the other way around and that guys don't think like girls.

Well, as long as she is with you, she'll learn you are right. Show her proof and evidence. Explain from a logical standpoint. As time passes she will learn. You just have to teach her to look for what signs and why. You need to tell her since she's pretty, she has to be even MORE on the look out for herself. Good luck.

[Bunnielove]

Also I was wondering.I know a girl like this. She leads these guys on and becomes good "friends" with them. Though she wouldn't cheat she gives them the idea that she is available or willing to do more. When her boyfriend finds out about these guys she would explain it to him that they are good friends but when it comes to the point where they show up at the door or calling when her boyfriend was around she would just split it off with them. I am not saying your girl is doing that. But the comment you made to raz sounds a lot like her.

[Bunnielove]

Well if this happaned once or twice then I would say she is naive, but since I am a girl and married (would never cheat) I can tell you she likes the attention. That simple really. But also make sure you arn't acting overly jealous because that will just annoy her and potentially drive her away.

This is so similar to my life it isn't even funny =D

[Pants]

Thank you. We try to have a very open and honest stream of communication. Can you give me some advice on how I can explain I trust her just not these guys. She seems to think I should trust them. But how, I don't know them and she says that I shouldn't ask to meet all her guy friends. I'm a confident guy, I just hate that these guys that keep popping up on the radar trying to play the nice guy routine. Thank you again in advance!

[Bunnielove]

Well it is kind of a delicate sitiuation and there is no real right answer since either way it goes somebody is will have to change. You said you have told her about your past and you just worry about the guys and that you trust her. You should explain to her that it needs to be a compromise. Though you are not happy that all these guys keep coming around, you won't ask her to stop hanging out with her "friends" but in return it isn't asking to much to meet them.

[brandibelle]

U can never trust her guy friends... Each & every one of them would hook up with her if they could.

U have to trust her! She would have hooked up with them by now if there was a chance... Don't stress over this! Trust me!

[jimmajam]

Such a good comment. I wish I had read this before I pushed too hard on my girlfriend. At the end of the day she's with you.

[brandibelle]

Whatever you resist, persists! Have ya ever heard of a self-fulfilled prophecy?? If her guy friend doesn't stress her out... and you do.... What do ya think is gonna happen? She'll rather spend time with him & not you!

[raz0rblastz]

ok.i totally understand this.full trust in ur girl but you don't trust those assholes who keeps harassing her.and she isn't doing (what you think) enough to stop them from calling.

simple solution.if you trust her then you wouldn't bother much.cuz if you trust that she loves you then she'll never waver.:)

[Pants]

Exactly I let her hangout with her guy friends no 2nd thought. what upsets me is how some guy pops in the picture she never mentioned and he's a good friend. I don't know them and I don't trust them. in a week they say they want to be more than friends and she cuts them off. how many can there be? do pretty girls just do it for attention? if he's such a good friend wheres he been? am I wrong not to trust these come and go guys? thanks in advance man!

[raz0rblastz]

Dude ur not wrong!hahaha I had the same prob with my gf..and thing was that she never did give me a sense of security..somehow she still kept in contact with such ppl..at least ur girlfriend is avoiding them alrdy...well I'll say she's doing something abt it:)

pretty girls would love the attention sure..but faithful ones will know when to pull the plug and I think ur girlfriend is one of them:)

those guys are nothing but despo people wanting something out of nothing..i'll join you in hating them without fail haha.

[Pants]

Thanks man. That last part of your answer gave me a great laugh. Good news, me and my girlfriend had a big talk a few nights ago. I pulled her aside and just tried explaining everything to her. I said if these are your friends then tell me about them and why there your friends. I've met several of them and now have their numbers to talk and chat. Some are definitely despos. I still want to get to know them better but it's a step in the right direction. Thanks dude!

[raz0rblastz]

Hey hey:)

sounds like someone's getting friendly with the "friendlies" hahaha..well at least u've cleared the air with her already..now you get a sense of security right?congrats

[Anonymous]

So what you are saying is you don't trust your girlfriend but you don't want to say it so bluntly so you'll say you don't trust her friends.

[Pants]

I trust her 110% I just don't understand how she can't see these guys are only pretending to be her friend. that's why I'm upset. she wants me to believe these guys only like her as a friend. so far she's been wrong. its been happening a lot lately maybe because the holiday is near and dudes are lonely. if it didn't happen so much I honestly wouldn't care.

[Opinion Owner]

So you trust her 110% but you don't trust her judgment. Hmm so you don't really trust her.

[Pants]

She trusts a lot of people and she can be gullible at times. I'm trying to walk a tight rope here. I trust and support her but I know what a scary world this can be. I also know how a lot my guy friend's minds operate. They are nicest guy and all the girls think he is so nice. Truth is some are big backstabbing man whores. She is trusting me and letting me meet and hang out with some of these guys. Some are cool some need to keep their distance.