Is being high maintenance a turn off?

Question

by high maintenance, i mean physically and emotionally. always wanting nice nails, nice hair, using hair extensions, tanning, being into skin care, new things, clothes, nice things. she might not like playing sports or manly stuff or leaving the house without perfect hair, outfit or makeup. also may be needing constant reassurance and attention...

or would you prefer a woman who is more laid back, doesn’t care about her looks, can wear sweatpants and leave the house without makeup, doesn’t care about her body/appearance/health? she’s more down to earth and chill, one of the guys, and doesn’t take things like makeup and new clothes super seriously.

thanks for any replies, also please state why you prefer either. it’s just for fun, so don’t take it too seriously :)

KneeDragger · Accepted Answer

When it comes to CAN a girl get dolled up and enjoy looking a certain way, yes, I think all dudes like it when a lady gets pretty to go out for dinner and a night on the town.

However, I really don’t like it when a girl has to spend an hour or more every day to get ready before she leaves the house. In my opinion, if she takes that long to get ready before she lets the world see her, the question has to be WHY? If a lady has to always wear makeup and nails, and hair extensions, and curly hair and the like how much money and time is she spending on things she can’t change? What is she trying to hide? Why is she not comfortable with the things she most likely can’t change?

Nearly all of the ladies who are friends with my wife color their hair. Do you realize how much that costs every month, if you combine the funds? If a lady never stops coloring her hair after she is in her thirties, that is a lot of money wasted over a lifetime. Plus, it’s super obvious who colors their hair; so, what is the point of doing it in the first place? Seriously, there is zero point.

My wife and our daughters all grow out their hair and donate it for the kids who lose their hair because of cancer. If you color your hair, you cannot donate your hair. Not super relevant to the conversation, just an interesting fact.

To answer; I love my wife who is laid back and doesn’t care too much what the world thinks of her looks. She cares about my opinion.

ohshee · Accepted Answer

From what I've seen there's two different types of high maintenance there's the ones that are lazy and they just want to be high maintenance and complain and did you know that then there are the motivated high maintenance that are quick know what they're doing can be looking so good with in just minutes because they have their tool belt there they have everything going for them and it's what makes them feel good that's who they really are the other high maintenance you don't really give a crap they just like to pretend I like the motivated high-maintenance because it's fun I don't mind it I don't mind if anybody has motivated knows what they want they're confident and they're willing to work for it and not put it off on anybody else that's the one I like

littlelady1234 · Accepted Answer

Honestly im a girl but I think those things are amazing! I think everyone should have high maintanence even guys. I dont mean you got to spend a lot of money or become obsessed with looking good for yoursef. But taking care of yourself and loving yourself should be a priority. But for the constant reassurance part it may seem then that the reason for such high maintenance actually stems from low self esteem. Im not going to lie I have that but not to that degree. I think we need to practice self love. Internally. Focus on the real issue for our insecurities then work on that. My insecurity is that I was always put down a lot. I was put down to the point where I wanted perfection but not because I actually wanted it but because I was very self conscious without it. I do genuinely love looking after for myself. but not to that degree. Most people call me beautiful and say that im "model worthy" ( i know weird right?) but deep down inside i feel ugly. Because even though in know these things boost up my self esteem I do know that its all a facade. I know the real root issue has to do with me internally. Take away all that stuff and I won't feel good enough. Im very shy i dont know how to talk to people. Thats why i wear a lot of stuff because it will make me feel that people will like me even thought thats not the case. I hope this helps a lot. I understand your pain. Deep down inside it hurts but little by little you will overcome this.

faye_girl · Accepted Answer

I'm a decently low maintenance girl but compared too all the guys I've talked to and hung out with... I seem very high maintenance 😆 maybe that's just the guys I'm around but they make ANY girl who cares even a little about how they look/present themselves seem high maintenance.

HorrorFan · Answer

I would say there is a pretty big difference between a girl that wants to always look nice and have nice things but does these things on her own time and money as opposed to the expectation that her partner pamper her and always open the wallet for expensive items and events.

I suppose out of your two options, I would choose option 2, but I'd rather meet somewhat in the middle. I'd like to see the girl look presentable and take care of herself but not have sky high demands and expectations for everything as well.

Xitomyth · Answer

Ideally I prefer someone between the two, someone who can clean up nice and relax when need. I shared a room with my OCD, perfectionist, older brother for the first thirteen years of my life, so I'm used to high maintenance. I am high maintenance myself in terms of health right now due to an incident years back, so I can handle it. If I had to choose, I'd take the high maintenance one, she'll at least be motivated to keep up her health and maintain her body, as well as want to look good for me. I do not want a slob. Not that a laid back person is a slob, but some are, and I'd rather not risk it.

Anonymous · Answer

Could I wish for both at once? (Not two women, but both embodied in one woman.)

I’m talking about a woman who isn’t fussed about going out in sweat pants without makeup to run errands but also loves be girly and do all the clothes, accessories, makeup, mani/pedi stuff when we go out or when there is an occasion to do it.

I love to compliment her when she makes the effort and I enjoy participating in shopping (to some extent) and watching her model new clothes. But doing it every day would turn it into a duty and that doesn’t sound like fun for anyone.

That would be the ideal, and I think I already have this. :)

HawkPerception · Answer

I would prefer if my partner cared about their appearance to an extent. Like just caring about the way they dress, working out regularly, showering and exfoliating to prevent acne, clipping their nails regularly to prevent bacteria from building up underneath, removing hair in unwanted areas, etc. Just the basic stuff. I don't care about makeup, manicures and pedicures, hair extensions and all that fake stuff, but taking care of yourself is highly appealing.

Being laid back doesn't mean you don't care for your "body/appearance/health" as you stated. It means not being materialistic and wanting/needing luxuries in life and being able to go with the flow of things. The girl that you used as an example for laid back in the first picture, looks like she takes care of herself and cares for her appearance. She also looks nature loving for obvious reasons. From the picture alone, she looks like my kind of girl.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

A mix.

I prefer laid back women who are naturally pretty and low maintenance cosmetically (ie has thick, medium to long messy hair, naturally thick eyelashes, doesn't wear makeup but also doesn't need to, no jewerly, no fancy clothing, etc. (also, women, stop ripping your eybrows out and then penciling thinner ones back in, it's not attractive and it looks weird, so unless you have a unibrow, just leave them alone)

But I also prefer high maintenance/needy in terms of clinginess and attention, wanting to constantly cuddle, hump, play video games, talk, or otherwise be around me/do stuff with me is a posative trait, as I don't need alone time.

Also caring about her health is a must, and hightop sneakers, baggy sweatpants and an oversized hoodie look better than high heels, a dress, or a skirt to be honest.

If I wanna see something attractive in that way, I'd rather she be nude rather than dress to look attractive.

SHREYASH007 · Answer

How you define high maintenance is important, if it is makeup then a huge turnoff but if it is skincare then a huge turn on, if she likes to keep nails clean and good then surely a turn on and small amount of maintenance is always preferred compared to some lazy girl who doesn't work on herself, I would appreciate if a girl wants to look good and smell good to impress me obvsiously.
A spendthrift girl without any reason or output is surely a big turn off but not someone who is trying to take care of herself.

Anonymous · Answer

I'd say wanting nice things and to look nice is not high maintenance at all because everyone wants nice things and to look their best unless they don't care about personal hygiene haha. But if they have a high maintenance personality, it would be a turn off for me and I think for most guys it would be too.

Leavesbound · Answer

Most guys don't like high maintenance girls. I don't. Sure go ahead and make yourself pretty, I'll patiently wait while you do. But if your priority is your clothes, shoes, etc. over living life I'm not interested. I would choose a nice girl who is touchable and affectionate over a girl who expects me to finance her looking like an untouchable supermodel.

jshm2 · Answer

Depends on value, I suppose.

I've dated poor girls and uber rich girls. All took care of themselves and could be classed as "high maintenance" by most guys.

But it matters little to me whether she's wear Prada or Primark as long as she's looking sharp and stylish when the occasion calls for it. High maintenance doesn't necessarily mean high investment at all times.

Aethereal · Answer

It's a bit of a turn-off to me, but so is a low maintenance girl. I prefer someone who is somewhere in the middle; who cares about their looks, but not so much that they constantly need new things, and to look good even when going to buy bread. I definitely like someone who needs a lot of time and attention, as long as she gives me the same, and doesn't seek it from other people.

exitseven · Answer

I only went out with one girl who could be considered high maintenance. She was pretty much the opposite of all the girls I ever dated and maybe that was the attraction. It got old pretty fast. I stopped calling her after three or four dates.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

High maintenance is fine, it’s part of treating a woman. I also like when a woman needs reassurance and attention, as comfort and reassurance is important. to protect and look after.

RHK36 · Answer

It's better if both he or she is somewhere in between the two types that you're talking about. Between the two high maintenance is definitely a turn off. Having that much of lack of self esteem that you need to waste time and money and still need to be complimented and reassured is a no for me.

JSmuve · Answer

Surely these can't be the only two options out there for men. People aren't so black and white that they can be pigeonholed into just two categories.

I'd prefer a woman who takes pride in her appearance and does her best to look her best, but she does so with her own resources and not mine. I'd also very much prefer her to be emotionally low-maintenance. A woman who constantly needs your attention and validation is nothing more than an oversized child.

WA786K · Answer

Yes it is 💯. High demand of stuff and high expectations thats why some us men would rather decline or just have thoughts in general to not take a risk.

Animeboyy · Answer

yes and no ig? it depends, girls who are obsessed with cosmetics are just ewwe. But there's a difference between not getting ur nails/hair/skin/makeup done all the time & not caring how you look. Girls who care about the appearance while also not being obsessed with cosmetics are the best. Like a girl that excessive and has good hygiene & a decent body is 100x better than the girl that spends her entire life tanning, getting their nails & hair done etc.

AmandaYVR · Answer

Negative, definitely. It makes people difficult to be around, and also vanity gets in the way of true confidence. Most people think it's not worth it, these types.

EssenceOfLight · Answer

I don't really care if my partner wakes up one hours earlier just to make a makeup and to choose outfit for her day, as far as I'm happy in relationship with her. It's not my business, especially if it doesn't cost me a penny.

Dontaaa · Answer

Yeah, it's a turn off for me, I'm not all into that stuff. I prefer someone who is laid back like me, but can also kick it into high gear when the time calls for it.

modelUN242 · Answer

I think being high maintenance is what you have when you don't know any empathy or seflessness. It's all about you you you. You're the princess.

TerminallyChill · Answer

For me a balance is necessary. Hygiene is obviously non negotiable but I prefer less makeup and nails, hair etc so I look for low key chicks who like to dress up for occasion rather than going to the supermarket

Legs79 · Answer

I prefer a woman who cares for her appearance not necessarily nails part , if she wants to but I like a woman who up keep.

Agape93 · Answer

Chose A. It can be if they absolutely refuse to get dirty, go on hikes etc. because if they need to always be pristine, we won’t get along that well.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

They should take care of health, and health has nothing to do with being high maintainence I choose sweat pants girl more realistic and down yo earth I am the same way 😂

The_Maphio · Answer

Definitely.  Pull your weight or you're dead weight.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

High maintenance women are sooooo draining. It's pretty awful. I dated one once, I won't make that mistake again.

pigoat · Answer

It doesn't matter If you're too high maintenance or too laid back they are both turn off

worldscolide · Answer

High maintenance usually means materialistic and selfish, massive turn off.

Redred56 · Answer

Outdoors girl for me. In fact she cleaned the fish and I cooked last time.

Old_Golden · Answer

Really either is fine, it's the constant need for me to verbalize my affection that's most taxing on me

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

More on the laid back side of things. I had a high maintenance girl FRIEND in college, and even that was tiring.

Wise4myage · Answer

Yes, I will always be more of an A type of man. I like girls who love the outdoors and who aren't afraid to get dirty.

EyesOfGod · Answer

Who the fuck wants to deal with a full grown person like they're a spoiled five year old?

Diversity_Hire · Answer

Oh it's definitely a turn-off; I don't put too much effort into my own appearance, I'm not too worried about yours past your natural look.

admles · Answer

MASSIVE turn off. My girlfriend is so low maintenance, I love it, life is so much better with a low maintenance partner.

dudeinohio · Answer

Prefer the simple down to earth woman, who doesn't take hours to prepare. 5 minutes and done.

rebeliouse · Answer

high maintenance sucks there too needy girl should look after her looks but not be demanding of a man

ItsMeItsMe1989 · Answer

If I have to put more in to you, than I do my car (assuming my car is really old), then yeah, it's going to be a turn off

OddBeMe · Answer

Laid back is good. We all care about looks. Just not 24/7.

Bakcula · Answer

High maintenance women... Ladies stop lying to yourselves face it all women are high castle girls.

MCheetah · Answer

Yes, it's a complete dealbreaker, to me.

have_a_good_day · Answer

I can't be with someone who doesn't like sports

MannMitAntworten · Answer

I prefer a middle ground. Both extremes can suck.

Iron_Man · Answer

Now it is been there and done that

Skankhunt · Answer

YES, it's a turn off.

NorthwestRider · Answer

A laid back dominant tomboy

mackiewishbone · Answer

High maintenance women are exhausting

Joshua0213 · Answer

Id prefer a laid back girl

KrakenAttackin · Answer

High maintenance is a deal killer.

Paulychicago10 · Answer

Yes, high maintenance is a turn off for me

EaterPeter · Answer

I prefer someone in between.

MDollarBill · Answer

not if you're pretty high maint yourself

Seppel · Answer

Yes for me it is. I am not into plastics

Harleyguy · Answer

Yup. Not my type of girl at all. I steer clear

MrCreep · Answer

Ye spoilt gals are turn off

Anonymous · Answer

High-maintenance women are a pain in the ass.

InferiorElegy · Answer

Yes it is.

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Mmmm... kind of.

michael1469 · Answer

Yes.. vwey much so.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

Huge turn off

Is being high maintenance a turn off?

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