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Respecting others' boundaries is just a normal thing to do - and especially healthy if you're friends.
She has a right to express her discomfort and have you respect her boundaries. Like she would so for you.
Maybe she's just not comfortable with getting that from anyone other than her boyfriend. That's valid. That's called boundaries.
It isn't a "girl thing". It's human to have healthy boundaries.
I don't think she has a boyfriend.
But the only thing is that I had feelings for her in the past so maybe that has something to do with it...
Yeah, maybe she's just uncomfortable with it.
That's valid. Not everyone like everything and that's valid and okay.
I guess maybe I need to distance myself from her and only talk when necessary.
If you think that's what will help, do it; but you need to fix your insecurities and learn to communicate your feelings to your girlfriend - or after she breaks up with you, you'll have no hope of finding a healthy, well-adjusted woman.
I don't have a girlfriend though...
Ah, well, learn to fix your insecurities and to communicate better if you want to attract one.
Women respond to men who don't freak out if we have close platonic male friends. If you don't think women can handle that, you're not ready for a relationship.
I'm not sure I'm following you...
"Women respond to men who don't freak out if we have close platonic male friends." What do you mean by that?
If you're this uncomfortable with a woman significant to you having platonic male friends, then you're gonna drive away every woman you try to attach yourself to.
Where exactly did I mention that I am uncomfortable with girls having male friends?
Heart emojis are a hot topic. I had a guy friend claim that no man on earth sends them to a woman he does not want to smash. Your friend may have heard this and is trying to maintain the friendship. I think the big take away here is that heart emojis can be taken as “signs” of romantic interest so send with caution.
Humm... I honestly didn't know how to react to it.
If you *honestly* meant it platonically, say so, and then acknowledge that she considers it romantic so you won’t send them to her anymore. If some small part of you has interest in you, she busted you and said that’s not what she wants right now. And the best way to change that is to respect her and back off.
Okay got that. Thank you!
I'm curious, does it mean I still like her, if the idea of her being with someone else frightens me?
Appears you need to distance yourself from her from now on , she likely thinks you are trying to be much more than mere platonic friends. Probably a good idea to drop her as a friend.
I don't know honestly
She is not interested in you as to date.
She has her boundaries in friendship.
She might be committed to someone else.
I don't think she's committed to someone else. I don't just think she's not into me, I know she's not into me. I think that that's how she is. At least with me though.
Opinion
3Opinion
There are those in the world who get upset about all sorts of strange, and frankly unjustified things.
Would I be upset? No. But I find everyone is very familiar with emojispeak and knows just when and how to use it. I've never been bothered by anyone's use of it (unless it's in place of most words. Then yes, I won't want to interact with that person much. It seems juvenile and overly-simplistic to rely on them for all communication.) But a heart here and there for a friend, no worries.
Not only that, but I've known her for long so yeah. If anything, it only has a positive intent.
I read through all the other responses. Good grief there's a lot of interpretations.
I know what you're doing here (which is fair.) Trying to see why she got upset, and seeing if you can apply her reaction to the majority (or only minority) of other women.
I think that the getting upset part is an emotional reaction, OR an immature reaction. But which is it? If it's the first, then you have to consider that she thinks there is potentially some disparity in your feelings for one another. If it's immaturity, then you just throw it out the window and say to yourself, 'bitches be crazy.' Cause sometimes, they just are.
I think I lean towards the first possibility. I think she may have become sensitive about it given that I have had feelings for her in the past? Maybe she's just trying to draw boundaries? I don't know. And maybe I shouldn't even care honestly because regardless, I don't get the feeling like she was curious or interested in my life even as a friend.
Yes, then sounds like that's it.
See, these questions/topics need details, in order to really get anywhere with them.
Maybe your time together is done. I am of the belief that men and women can be friends. But that is a highly complex, almost infinite-possible contexts, type of situation, so it cannot be answered as a yes or no to all or none.
If she doesn't care about you, then even friendship is not really on the table. You two are just going through the motions until perhaps some others distract you both. ?
I think that they can be "friends" but with limitations. I'm not sure if there can be perfect "friends" of the opposite sex without any party having feelings secretly and not acting on them. Or maybe "friends," but not like super close they just talk, but not interact the same way as buddies or girlfriends of the same sex would. I don't know, I'm not sure of that to be honest.
Yeah, lots of opinions on the friends topic.
I'd just caution you that whatever you conclude, at some point in your life, you may conclude something else later. The chemistry between any two people is unique. You are the common variable in it, of course, but even your own situation (relationship status, mindset, needs, etc.) will change throughout your lifetime, so what once was, may not always be. Be flexible, psychologically, as much as you can. One of the necessities, and I guess secrets, of life, is adaptation. If you bend in the wind, you're less likely to break than those who try to resist and stand firm.
Thank you for your advice. I have a question though. Do you think that if the idea of her being with someone else frightens me, means that I still have feelings for her?
If so, then what do you suggest I should do if I happen to see her often? We've never been in contact for a long time; we've actually cut contact. I've never seen her nor heard from her until only recently. So, I'm thinking just to find a way that doesn't hurt me. You know? Like only talking to her when it's necessary and not get into personal conversations.
You're welcome.
Yes, very likely.
So, your heart emoji was a conveyance of your deeper feelings for her. ?
I don't feel I understand the situation, or that you've provided enough details, to give you any very specific and helpful advice here yet.
So do you live or work by each other now? You're seeing each other only because of circumstance, not because you both plan it?
So sounds like you, at one point, wanted a relationship/something more than friendship with her, but she didn't reciprocate the feelings, and you've had little to no contact mostly, since. Are you asking me how you can protect your feelings and try to move on from her now, given that you will end up seeing her around town, or something?
I completely understand how confusing it may seem. But I honestly hesitate on revealing details here, so can I DM you?
What I didn’t even know this was a problem I genuinely don’t see what’s bad a bout sending a heart emoji it doesn’t mean you like them that way if you do it’s just an emoji. Clearly girls see it a different way then I do though judging by the comments on here though.
I know right? It shouldn't be a problem... but it seems some girls are annoyed by it. But to me, it can mean showing love and care as a friend. I don't see any harm to it.
I don't know no maybe yes, it depends on the guy friend. Not all guy friends can do the same thing another guy friend can.
How do you determine who and who isn't worthy of using it?
It depends on how close you are to that person, do you guys joke around and flirt with each other even though you aren't thinking of being together OR do you have the bro/sis friendship it can be ok. Another thing is if that person knows you have feelings for them and they let you know that they aren't into you just dont do stuff like that it makes things weird.
I have a male friend that yes I am close with but he sorta has a thing for me but I dont find him attractive and he isn't someone I would see myself with, so no I wouldn't like it if he sends those things.
Interesting... In this case, what do you think I should do?
Meh, Just dont send it to her maybe she just doesn't feel comfortable with it. Do you like her with the possibility of more than a friend have you ever expressed you liked her?
I have and she rejected me. But it's been almost three years since. I think you're right though. She probably feels weird about it since I confessed to her in the past? I don't know.
There's your answer dont send any affectionate emojis. That confession is in the back of her head and it's making things awkward.
Okay, you may have hit the nail in the head. This though makes me want to distance myself from her honestly.
Yeah, maybe you should not all friendships are meant to be forever.
There may be various reasons... she might have a boyfriend and kinda feels awkward receiving heart from another guy...
Or she is someone who kind of puts lot of thought on the emojis she send, maybe she takes it in a literal sense..
Or possibly she could like u and she knows that u r just sending it as a friend, and that's kind of making her feel sad/uncomfortable... I know this feeling coz I have felt like this before
She actually doesn't like me which is why she's doing this. Taking it literally.
If I have a boyfriend then yes. Some guys like to call you "baby" too even though they're just friends.
I'll ignore these minor things if I don't like the guy but won't allow it if I have a boyfriend.
So only when you have a boyfriend, okay. If you don't, you're okay with it.
Your friend things you are attempting to cross a line that is why she is bothered with it.
How do you think I should've responded?
depends on the colour for me. red and pink gives off more of an affectionate vibe, and every other colour is friend zone
Do you mind a red one from a guy friend?
Would be odd especially if they used it constantly but not a hugeee deal
It means you love them.. they dont feel the same.. sorry man even if you mean it in a friendly way they're taking offense to it.
Do you think it's right to do this? Like what harm would it cause? I won't do it again with her obviously.
No I send hearts cause I love my friends and care.. but I only send the kissing face to my man.. Everyone is different each to their own.. respect her thoughts and keep being you!
She might have a pay as you go phone that only allows her to receive so many messages so if you just send an emoji she might feel that it was a waste
You aren't a female who gets hit on or harassed day and night. None of my guy friends do that unless they are referring to their lady or themselves and their lady. It's weird and I would think he had hidden motives
@mehzmeh what you think?
Harrassed? Look, I'm not a stranger to her. She's a friend that I've known for long.
@WowwGirl in some ways you are right. But, if the guy is secure in his relationship. And she is as well. Then it shouldn't be a problem. My lady has a lot of male friends. Even some of her ex's are her friends. But if they ever try macking on her. She would tell them off. And if they don't get the picture. Then I step in. And it's vice versa for her. She knows I am a chef. And I have to flirt with the wait staff to get them to do what I need them to do. And she is okay with it. She also knows no one matters in my life besides her.
No bothered.. but it’s just odd.. why heart out of all the emojis?
It doesn't necessarily mean romantic love... It can be a symbol of bonding and of care I guess.
Yes a lot if we don't talk a lot but if the guy is my best friend it wouldn't bother me🤷🏾♀
I honestly consider us kinda close...
Then maybe she might be hinting you. Try replying with hearts the next time she does it again and see what happens but don't over do it
Why would I do that? She clearly seems bothered by it.
Ooh sorry i misunderstood the situation um ya don't send her any hearts
Nope, ... I'd be flattered, then I'd ask "where the fuck is my dick pic you promised?"
Because it's a gesture that can be misunderstood. You may not think anything of it but a lot of guys also get misled by hearts lol and I talk from experience
Only second lover does that. He's young, I'm kinda like his first love, so hell yea.
I don't understand. What do you mean?
You don't send heart emojis to people you aren't very close with.
I consider myself close to her actually. We've known each other for long.
Then it's ok
There are some emojis that are mean to lovers mostly.. Not everyone thinks like that i mean its not a big deal for me but some are.
How do you think I should've responded?
Just stop talking with her. Or stop sending her the emojis she dont like. she's kinda immature to be honest
Like I just don't understand her sometimes...
I had an online boyfriend long ago he used to tell me nobody could send me love emojis. i asked what are those emojis? He said ❤😍😘 so.. Some people is like that lol.
Because it’s awkward especially if she has a boyfriend. Ugh I would feel so uncomfortable. There’s no reason for that.
Okay.
I send heart emojis to my guy friend and he sends them to me as well. Nothing weird about that as long as you know where you stand.
Yeah, well I don't know. I guess it seems like some girls are okay with it, others are not (at least with people they're not attracted to.)
lmao i always do that shit w my guy friends & my girl friends maybe they're just sensitive
I do that shit all the time and it doesn't mean anything.
You do it with girls? Have you ever gotten a reaction because of it?
Yes, with girls.
Have a gotten a reaction? What do you mean? What kind of reaction? Positive? Negative?
Regardless, I'm not looking for a reaction.
Every guy friend I’ve had who sent me a heart emoji ended up liking me. Unless he’s gay, I don’t want any heart emoji from a guy friend.
But it can't be every guy?
Probably not, but many guys were like this. So from my experience, it would make me uncomfortable.
If I like the guy then I would be soooo happy
Of course. I'm asking if it's just a guy friend.
What if you're not?
Her boyfriend saw it and it caused problems.
I don't think she has a boyfriend.
either you're using it to much and she's getting annoyed by it OR she could be a complete cunt
No I personally wouldn't mind
I've also known the girl for long...
I would have concerns
What kind of concerns?
Nope unless he's flirting
Okay, so no problem with emojis.
I wouldn’t think anything of it
Yeah, it's just weird that she pointed it out.
Especially since I've known her for long.
I do that all the time here nobody complains
Ikr? I guess I need to reconsider the circle of my female friends entirely man.
No, I don't take emojis seriously.
yes, we’re friends not lovers bruh
Okay
Not really
I mean it's harmless and only has a positive intent.
True but if I have a boyfriend then it would bother me
Yeah, if you have a boyfriend I get that.
Yep.
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