How do you deal with feelings of severe loneliness?

[anniisa97]

I was a lot more social in 2019 and before Covid. I went out regularly and I had plenty of friends.

Things changed a lot when my social circle got smaller and smaller. Its got to the point where I dont feel comfortable speaking to people around me about how I really feel. I dont feel like I can completely trust them either, plus I never feel better after speaking to them.

The one person that did make me feel better isn't available anymore, I feel like I'm just bothering them when I do contact them, and the more effort i put into them, the more needy I come across. Its quite clear they've had enough.

Its coming to a point where I'm just miserable, I have things to look forward to, but the emotional hardships of day to day life is a bit overwhelming for me. I'm sick of feeling so empty and upset. When I'm really desperate to keep my mind off of things I turn to other people to distract me, but nothing works.

Has anyone else dealt with loneliness? How did you deal with it? How did it get better?

I know I need therapy at this point. I should look into that, but what other things are helpful?

Updates

+1 y

By "other people" I mean people on gag or other strangers on the internet

[weeee]

I find hobbies keep me sane. When im drawing or writing music my mind is completely blank just, focusing entirely on that one task. I have a bad habit of getting anxious over nothing, overthinking stuff, etc. But when im creating art, instead of worrying about things that went wrong in past or what could go wrong in the future... My mind is very present and 'living in the moment', so to speak. I think this keeps me from feeling that emptiness that you speak of. All it is a distraction in the end. A form of escapism.

I find even just doodling on a paper from time to time improves my mood. It's like a therapy almost lol. So, maybe try picking up a new hobby? It could be anything that interests you. Also through this you could also find communities dedicated to said hobby and make new friends.

[anniisa97]

I think this was more of the answer I was looking for tbh. I dont care for speaking to new people, I dont want to rely on others.

Thank you. I wasn't expecting miracles but more of a simple answer that I might have been missing. This is something to think about

[weeee]

Yeah having something relaxing to do, that just makes you forget about shit from time to time is really important.

If you don't have that 'outlet', those feelings start to build up as time passes. You just need some sort of medium to get it out. Everyone has their own, i found art to work best for me. I've just been generally a lot more happier and content with things for the past 2-3 years.

[anniisa97]

Adult colouring books do help, I've not got back to it since my felt tips started running out and I didn't want that to mess up my colouring. I better get new ones soon.

What sort of art fo you do?

[weeee]

I've always been into drawing, but i recently discovered my passion for music. For the past couple of years i have just been completely obsessed with it lol. Especially due to covid I spend a good chunk of my day just composing stuff.

I love learning about different genres and music from different cultures. I can't really afford instruments but i watch all the tutorials anyways just to get into the head of, say a drummer or pianist, to understand what exactly is their thought process while performing. It gives me insight into writing parts for said instrument. I just find it so much fun. Just learning about all the perspectives and then adding my own twist to it. That's what makes it so exciting. there's always something to look forward to because there are no limits.

[anniisa97]

Thats great. I'm really happy to hear you're doing well and enjoying life. If only I was that passionate about something.

I do love travelling but I can't do that everyday

[weeee]

Yeah i think you just need to be willing to dip your toes into things and experiment. I mean i myself never cared much about music. Until i just randomly decided to give it a go just out of boredom. If you're open to new experiences and willing to try out stuff you'll find yours

[anniisa97]

Did you join like a club or something? How did you get into music?

[weeee]

Not really, just a bunch of YouTube tutorials lol. I downloaded a little app on my phone at first to mess around with loops and eventually went on to use real studio stuff like ableton. Initially i was inspired to do it because of musicians i really liked. There are lots of producer communities online so I've made a few friends like that over the years, but initially it was just me figuring stuff out with a lot of google searches.

[anniisa97]

Oh I see. Thats really cool

[Fuentes]

I believe loneliness is the mind telling you this if people can do 50-60 years in prison and beat loneliness i feel like loneliness isn't a thing infact you should be more comfortable with yourself and being alone, covid isn't a big deal if you ask me so i don't know why everyone is avoiding eachother just take life day by day instead of always thinking about next week or the future all you can do is right now today and wake up for tommrow the next day. Binge watch a few shows or something "Handmaids Tale" is a great show or find a new hobby, life is forever

[anniisa97]

Thats a good mentality to have. Its not just covid, I guess covid led to things happening but the reason isn't covid. I just feel like a mess, im tired of life

[anniisa97]

I'm tired of feeling empty and like there's no one really around for me. Everyone has someone else to talk to around me, except me

[Fuentes]

I think it's the issue u are worried about who everyone else is talking too instead of you, being one for yourself & constantly needing and seeking affection from others you really can't force that but it comes one day at a time, i know you said your not a fan of tinder but you should make a profile and just see how many guys swipe you and conversate you & you dont even have to meet them or commit to anything it could just be a confidence booster for yourself, their is so much going on in life and so many things you can do to entertain yourself qnd many things to explore, you're at a age where you can still do a lot. Learn to care about yourself first & the rest just comes like it was nothing then a few months or years from now your gonna be like wow i was trippin fuck that noise

[anniisa97]

Thats not really it, I dont care what others are doing. But it just adds to the loneliness. There's no one thats really my age in my family. Its all older people or much younger people. The only people that im actually close to thats around my age is like one friend of mine that I keep in touch with on a regular basis. And as grateful as I am for her, I dont want to talk to her about everything. I rather tell no one about my issues but a therpist, and just feel better another way without feeling lonely.

This isn't really about guys, just my day to day life. I don't really care if random guys would swipe right or left on me.

[Fuentes]

Well if you need a therapist for depression you should get one but you should find a hobby for day to day things and take your mind off the issues your facing thats the best thing you can do until you see a therapist

[anniisa97]

Yeah, I need to do that. I have things I can do and need to be doing, I've just been ignoring them or been busy with other things. I think its time to focus on that when I can

[Fuentes]

What type of tv shows you watching?

[anniisa97]

Shameless, British soaps, prison break etc

[Fuentes]

If you like prison break you would like wentworth prison show based in n australia great series & if you like mystery drama you would like the show cruel summer.

[anniisa97]

Thanks for the suggestions, I'll look into it. I do like mystery stuff

[Fuentes]

Yeah cruel summmer is good if u are a fan of shows like pretty little liars its goood like iy

[wankiam]

i was lucky in some ways that i worked through lockdowns so i had some form of social life but out of work i smoked more weed and masturbated even more than before though i wouldn't recommend this as an answer... its just how i cope with lonliness personally and at this point i might see you in the therapists waiting room

[anniisa97]

Lol, I think you might

[wankiam]

i know, sad as hell eh?

[In_Trance]

talk to people

[anniisa97]

Meh.