Is shallow if i see smoking and drinking as deal breakers? Everytime i see a woman smoke or drink i automatically cancel the idea of approaching her. I don't drink or smoke at all and never did or will
I don't smoke or drink, but is it shallow if I see smoking at drinking as deal breakers?
No it is not shallow. Smoking and drinking is a lifestyle and if you don't live that lifestyle, it would only make sense to not want your partner to live that way either. Please note, I'm assuming you are referring to no smoking and no drinking - at all. Although many might do so once in a while at social gatherings.
However, there is a difference between preferences or tastes, like dating someone that doesn't like garlic and onions, for example. Or dating someone who is vegan or vegetarian. Fine, we can live with those. But things that affect ones health, and your own. No thanks. There is a line to cross and habitual smoking and drinking is a legitimate line.
I don't always drink, but when I do, I choose... wine or coffee. Stay thirsty my friends.
Unless you are muslim or another religion that forbids drinking I think it's a little shallow. Almost everyone drinks socially and for all you know she is just like you and that cocktail is a virgin one she is holding to fit in. Most people can have 1-2 per day a few days a week and not have a significant impact on health or even register on an addiction scale.
Smoking is much more serious however, and the smell doesn't leave her clothes or breath or apartment with a shower and a toothbrushing... I don't consider smokers either, just not a good match for me.
No, I don't think it's shallow at all. No one has to explain her or his preferences or standards to anyone. I can handle dating very light social drinkers, but I don't date smokers. I also don't like tattoos and body piercings and won't date anyone with them. Does that make me shallow? So what if people think I am, it doesn't matter to me. Don't let it get to you either.
no, you're allowed to set parameters for what you want in a relationship. if you dont want to date a drinker or smoker that's perfectly fine. I would keep in mind that people change tho and someone with no interest in either can take one or the other up
No; it's not shallow at all. You're just being smart.
If she smokes, she will 1) waste a lot of money, 2) be irritable when she's out of cigarettes, 3) smell disgusting, 4) taste nasty, 5) get a wrinkled face, 6) cough a lot, and 7) die early.
If she drinks, she will 1) waste a lot of money, 2) be dependent on alcohol to be happy, 3) smell bad, 4) develop a beer belly, 5) act stupid and sound stupid, 6) be more susceptible to cheating, and 7) get an attitude and get defensive if you bring up point number 6.
Nope I think that's perfectly reasonable. I used to drink some in my late teens/early 20s. Now I might have a sweet cocktail if I go out to dinner or something but that's it. Two drinks and I'm feeling sick. It's just not worth it. 🤢 And cigarettes are disgusting, period. I don't have a problem with vaping though.
@Still-alive You ain't kidding! 😂 Literally the last time I got sick from drinking, which was like... 2 years ago I think. I had TWO margaritas and ended up throwing up half way to the bathroom 🙃 So no more getting drunk for me.
Everyone has their own dealbreakers. Smoking is not as popular as it was when I was young and most people smoked it seemed. I dated in the 80s and 90s and everyone drank heavily. It was a way of life. Things are different today so it may be easier to find people who fit your standards.
Why do people think that they should not have standards or preferences to who they want to date? If they do something that you don't want to deal with it is not being shallow, it is being realistic about your own likes and dislikes. Not many people like smoking. It reminds me of a steam train pulling a grade.
I don't smoke and don't drink. I'm disappointed when people do. Happy people don't need substances. In fact, they're repulsed by them because it makes them feel worse.
No, you know your boundaries and what you want. I can’t date someone who smokes either.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Smoking no, that can be so harmful to you and if you want a family and if you want your partner to be healthy and live a long life with you. That is a dealbreaker for me too. And drugs for the most part. drinking I feel is ok if it’s not harmful to anyone but that’s just me. I like to drink occasionally. I have friends that smoke and I’m ok with because they don’t around me but as far as choosing a potential partner, that’s entirely different. I don’t judge them, I just can’t have that be part of my life.
If your Muslim, I can understand not dating a woman who breaks the codes of your religion, otherwise, your position would be uncommon but we all have a right to our views.
thats assuming she goes to bars. But if someone smokes and drinks, well that's what bar people do.
assuming this girl in question goes to bars, then you know she's done questionable things. Because A. Bars are immoral places and B. Drugs and alcohol are involved which translates into immoral behavior. This is not a person you want to be with at any point.
I drink and smoke and I'm not low class or value 🤣🤣🤣. I smoke because well I was young and stupid and started. It became an addiction and well I've tried to stop multiple times and it doesn't last. However I am going to try to stop again soon, I have a plan for it this time. Drinking I do on occasion but I don't spend all my money on booze or get completely fucked up anymore. It was just a phase and now I just do it socially occasionally.
I think cigarettes smell disgusting so I could understand someone having that as a deal breaker. Also I could see if the person was addicted to alcohol being a problem so I think it’s a reasonable deal breaker.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Not at all. Smoking is a hard pass for me too. As for drinking, I RARELY drink. I could date a guy who drinks a little socially, but not someone who drinks multiple times a week or gets drunk.
I dated three smokers. They all had addiction issues. Smoking was just a symptom. 2 single mothers now in 50s and 1 alcoholic, childless and married to a drunk. Draw your own conclusions
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