I don't smoke or drink, but is it shallow if I see smoking at drinking as deal breakers?

[Shihab91]

Is shallow if i see smoking and drinking as deal breakers? Everytime i see a woman smoke or drink i automatically cancel the idea of approaching her. I don't drink or smoke at all and never did or will

[talover]

No it is not shallow. Smoking and drinking is a lifestyle and if you don't live that lifestyle, it would only make sense to not want your partner to live that way either. Please note, I'm assuming you are referring to no smoking and no drinking - at all. Although many might do so once in a while at social gatherings.

However, there is a difference between preferences or tastes, like dating someone that doesn't like garlic and onions, for example. Or dating someone who is vegan or vegetarian. Fine, we can live with those. But things that affect ones health, and your own. No thanks. There is a line to cross and habitual smoking and drinking is a legitimate line.

I don't always drink, but when I do, I choose...
wine or coffee. Stay thirsty my friends.

[jim009]

Unless you are muslim or another religion that forbids drinking I think it's a little shallow. Almost everyone drinks socially and for all you know she is just like you and that cocktail is a virgin one she is holding to fit in. Most people can have 1-2 per day a few days a week and not have a significant impact on health or even register on an addiction scale.

Smoking is much more serious however, and the smell doesn't leave her clothes or breath or apartment with a shower and a toothbrushing... I don't consider smokers either, just not a good match for me.

[SaoirseS]

No, I don't think it's shallow at all. No one has to explain her or his preferences or standards to anyone. I can handle dating very light social drinkers, but I don't date smokers. I also don't like tattoos and body piercings and won't date anyone with them. Does that make me shallow? So what if people think I am, it doesn't matter to me. Don't let it get to you either.

[kqueen]

no, you're allowed to set parameters for what you want in a relationship. if you dont want to date a drinker or smoker that's perfectly fine. I would keep in mind that people change tho and someone with no interest in either can take one or the other up

[Jamie05rhs]

No; it's not shallow at all. You're just being smart.

If she smokes, she will 1) waste a lot of money, 2) be irritable when she's out of cigarettes, 3) smell disgusting, 4) taste nasty, 5) get a wrinkled face, 6) cough a lot, and 7) die early.

If she drinks, she will 1) waste a lot of money, 2) be dependent on alcohol to be happy, 3) smell bad, 4) develop a beer belly, 5) act stupid and sound stupid, 6) be more susceptible to cheating, and 7) get an attitude and get defensive if you bring up point number 6.

[Coulis]

This is sooooo on point!

[Jamie05rhs]

@Coulis Thank you!

[Coulis]

Delabreakers for me so. Even for friends. Nope, not shallow.

These are two habits that are particularly personal. You have to deal with them day in and day out.

[Shihab91]

Yeah i agree , especially drinking 🙅🏻‍♂️

[420Rachel]

Nope I think that's perfectly reasonable. I used to drink some in my late teens/early 20s. Now I might have a sweet cocktail if I go out to dinner or something but that's it. Two drinks and I'm feeling sick. It's just not worth it. 🤢 And cigarettes are disgusting, period. I don't have a problem with vaping though.

[Still-alive]

lightweight!

[Shihab91]

I see, sounds cool, I mean at least vaping doesn't like cigarettes

[420Rachel]

@Still-alive You ain't kidding! 😂 Literally the last time I got sick from drinking, which was like... 2 years ago I think. I had TWO margaritas and ended up throwing up half way to the bathroom 🙃 So no more getting drunk for me.

[Shihab91]

doesn't smell*

[exitseven]

Everyone has their own dealbreakers. Smoking is not as popular as it was when I was young and most people smoked it seemed. I dated in the 80s and 90s and everyone drank heavily. It was a way of life. Things are different today so it may be easier to find people who fit your standards.

[btbc92]

That is not shallow. Shallow has to do with looks and such. What you have are morals. And you should stay within your morals.

[Shihab91]

Yes true

[Daniela1982]

Why do people think that they should not have standards or preferences to who they want to date? If they do something that you don't want to deal with it is not being shallow, it is being realistic about your own likes and dislikes. Not many people like smoking. It reminds me of a steam train pulling a grade.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/aaC3cfKkssE

Here comes Casey Sr., the chain smoking engineer.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

If you're not into either of those things, there's nothing wrong with wanting a partner that isn't as well... Nothing shallow about that

[Shihab91]

True

[Woke51]

I don't smoke and don't drink. I'm disappointed when people do. Happy people don't need substances. In fact, they're repulsed by them because it makes them feel worse.

[Little_Bumblebee]

I see it as a deal-breaker if the guy smokes. Just instant turn off.

I do drink though.
But I get it, it's your lifestyle choice and you choose what you want in your life.

[MissStrawberry912]

No, you know your boundaries and what you want. I can’t date someone who smokes either.

[Anonymous]

Smoking no, that can be so harmful to you and if you want a family and if you want your partner to be healthy and live a long life with you. That is a dealbreaker for me too. And drugs for the most part.
drinking I feel is ok if it’s not harmful to anyone but that’s just me. I like to drink occasionally.
I have friends that smoke and I’m ok with because they don’t around me but as far as choosing a potential partner, that’s entirely different. I don’t judge them, I just can’t have that be part of my life.

[IsebellaFlores]

I think cigarettes smell disgusting so I could understand someone having that as a deal breaker. Also I could see if the person was addicted to alcohol being a problem so I think it’s a reasonable deal breaker.

[jennifer_bloom]

If your Muslim, I can understand not dating a woman who breaks the codes of your religion, otherwise, your position would be uncommon but we all have a right to our views.

[Shihab91]

I'm but not just the religion , i hate the smell , the look and everything about it

[ItsTheNephilim]

Not shallow. I find such habits to be major turn offs too.

[ChefPapiChulo]

I'm not interested in women who do this. They are low class and value.

[Shihab91]

Bam just like that

[ChefPapiChulo]

imagine dating a girl who's gone to bars and fucked random dudes. Someone who has no values or ethics like that will be a liability in the future.

[Shihab91]

Well yeah if she fuck random people this is garbage

[ChefPapiChulo]

thats assuming she goes to bars. But if someone smokes and drinks, well that's what bar people do.

assuming this girl in question goes to bars, then you know she's done questionable things. Because A. Bars are immoral places and B. Drugs and alcohol are involved which translates into immoral behavior. This is not a person you want to be with at any point.

[Spirilio_180]

I drink and smoke and I'm not low class or value 🤣🤣🤣. I smoke because well I was young and stupid and started. It became an addiction and well I've tried to stop multiple times and it doesn't last. However I am going to try to stop again soon, I have a plan for it this time. Drinking I do on occasion but I don't spend all my money on booze or get completely fucked up anymore. It was just a phase and now I just do it socially occasionally.

[Spirilio_180]

I don't find you as shallow though its you're ideals. I just disagreed with something you said.

[ChefPapiChulo]

@Spirilio_180 yeah you're the type we're talking about.

[Nomina]

No, i don't think so. And even if they are shallow, they're your dealbreakers.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. Smoking is a hard pass for me too. As for drinking, I RARELY drink. I could date a guy who drinks a little socially, but not someone who drinks multiple times a week or gets drunk.

[AmandaYVR]

It's your prerogative.
If you're never going to have any interest in doing either, you'd probably just be wasting time if you approached these types.

[bolverk]

No, not shallow I don't like smokers myself, as I lost both parents to cancer, alcohol not so much of a deal breaker as long as is controlling it and they do not have to get falling down drunk to be able to 'enjoy' their nights out.

[Alyssa11]

No they’re my deal breakers too lol. I think they’re both disgusting.

[Wester1967]

I dated three smokers. They all had addiction issues. Smoking was just a symptom. 2 single mothers now in 50s and 1 alcoholic, childless and married to a drunk. Draw your own conclusions

[MotorcycleMan]

I wouldn't date a smoker even though I used to be one myself. Drinking for me would depend on the amount and frequency, but do what's right for you.

[FilmGuy93]

No? That's just wanting someone who shares your lifestyle choices.

[slatyb]

Your choice. I would never date a smoker. Drinking is not a problem unless it’s a problem.

[Slayerrrrrrr]

Hey man, not all people are fun at parties. That for me is a desk breaker, gotta know how to enjoy life to the max 😁

[SillybrokenPanda]

I wouldn't say it is shallow, it is something you don't want to tied to your life.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Nope, I won't date drinkers or smokers either, that shit is disgusting and stupid.

[Dchrls78104]

No. Not shallow; wise and reasonable. I do not smoke ore drink, either; and smoking and drinking are dealbreakers for me, too.

[Surely]

It is like kissing a dirty ash tray!
I won’t date them either.

[clampfan101]

Definitely not. Those are very justifiable standards.

[m33lad]

You eat meat right? Which based on the new studies is 40 times worse

[Tabasco25]

I can't smell so if she smokes or drinks I don't care? But the physical health and the mental health is my concern.

[ThatNoUVAtYourEyes]

Probably not.
Women notoriously demean you if you smoke or drink

[Word2thewise]

No because it forms part of a lifestyle that be incompatible with our own. Plus smoking would impact your health as well as their own.

[Seppel]

I think it's a dealbreaker If someone doesn't do it

[Ms_Vanderquack]

Is it shallow to have basic ass standards?

[Shihab91]

In my opinion body isn't that big deal ( to a certain point)

[Ms_Vanderquack]

So you just completely missed the whole point of my response there huh?

[Shihab91]

Oh yes , sorry lol 🤣. Yes i agree its a basic standers but for some its not so i want to know their point of view

[Anonymous]

I do also see smoking as 100% deal breaker. Who would want to smell and kiss an ashtray!

[KatherineJ]

I don’t think it’s shallow at all.

[Iron_Man]

No it’s not because you’re not smoky or drinking

[t-8900]

I quit for my girl 🤷‍♂️

[pink_and_inlove]

No I don’t think it’s shallow at all

[Boymom12318]

No and I don't drink or smoke either.

[rcljr]

No, those are your personal preferences.

[Agape93]

Not at all

[Drzen]

No , you have your own standards that's all

[Pterodon]

Nope it isn’t shallow

[Shy_Steve]

Of course not.

[Babygirl_S]

Not at all.

[ChiPaPa]

Not at all.

[BillyBalls]

Nope!!!

[Nachowedgie]

Nope not at all

[Scottmoore3]

Cool