Girls, Has your previous experiences with guys tarnished having a positive mindset about us guys?

[Anonymous]

This is not a question to attack girls/women online. Often and throughout the years, girls I’ve talked to and have tried pursue in terms of dating/relationship would respond with something such as, “I don’t trust guys” or (a, b, c happened to me). I used to think maybe I can be more genuine or more caring, maybe I have bad luck but nothing helps.

[Anonymous]

All of my exes (and guys I dated for awhile) were great! But then after awhile they lost interest and faded/ghosted. All of a sudden, just like that, without giving me any closure or reason. And this happened with ALL of them. So there is apparently some fucked up pattern here that makes me paranoid with trust issues. It definitely affects my dating life, I feel traumatized. I am so fucked up that I am kind of already "expecting" the next guy to do the same, whether it be after 2 months of dating or after 10 years of marriage. Every little thing he does that could possibly allude to happening it rings this alarm in my head and I run for the hills. I practically sabotage it in the end with my insecurities. I know I am fucked up and am not fit for relationships, I'm too damaged.

[Asker]

The thing with dating and don’t get offended by this, did you have sex with these guys? And how older were you? In todays day and age. People don’t care about marriage. Especially when someone is a teenager or early to mid 20s people just want to fool around. I’m not married but it’s spontaneous stuff or exploring each other’s kinks. Your partner has to be your best friend. If a married couple is just grumpy half the time drowning in debt and bills, yeah life can suck. I don’t know why those guys did it. Maybe they wanted sex, maybe they had it and moved on, maybe they got scared of committing. I would tell a girl straight up it’s not working and explain to her why. I’m not going to be a child and do that to a girl it’s just immature in my opinion.

[Opinion Owner]

With some I had sex right away, with others after some time and with some no sex at all (never made it to that point). It makes no difference, the outcome is always the same. So I don't think sex plays any role here.
But it's interesting what you say about 'your partner has to be your best friend', haven't we all have at least one that person? That someone who is so dear to, that person that we love, but there is no sexual attraction from one or neither. Do you ever wonder why we never thought of an idea to try exploring each other sexually too? We give so many fucking chances to assholes, but we don't give it our BEST friend? Who knows, maybe ends up being mind-blowing and you get to have a best friend and an amazing sex partner in one package. I have few of those male friends but unfortunately until I realized that they were taken. I wish some of my good male friends from 20s that I friendzoned (rejected) and complained to about OTHER guys just understood that what needed to give me is NOT what those other guys are not giving me, but what they DO. And then give it but double the more. In my case it was dirty talk. I love dirty talks and guys who were good at it often lured me in with it. That is the one thing I never had with my male friends, or better said they never initiated any. I wonder if they were aware of my dirty talk fetish. There are many ways to seduce a girl sexually, but if it's your best friend then it should be easier since you already know what they like. A guy should know when he is to bring his nice side and when his seductive side. I'm not saying stop being a nice person, you can be both. Animals also do this, they attract partners by impressing them with something that is beneficial to them. Business world works the same, it's all about the best offer.
Sorry, I got a bit high and drifted deep hahaha

[Asker]

Nah it’s fine sometimes you gotta vent. Thing is I realized that girls who have guy friends yeah she has to have sexual feelings for him. A girl won’t be with a guy if she just finds him literally like a friend. It does surprise me that girls I knew back in the day would admit to me that there a guys who are guy friends but they have no attraction to those guys. But then those same girls would play around with her girlfriends by pretending to kiss her friend or grab her friends boobs. Yet these girls would tell me they are straight they don’t like girls and they are fooling around. Girls I’ve known who I was friends with asked me to dirty talk with them. Actually one girl I exchanged numbers with I met on GAG and she asked me to dirty talk with her so I did 🙄. 5 years I met a girl like you and she vented to me how much she hated guys for the BS they put her through. She was a friend and I suggested a very stupid thing to try to make her feel better, I dunno if I should say it 🙄

[Opinion Owner]

Well now you must!

[Asker]

Well when she was talking and I could tell she was pissed off. I put my arm around her and I said I have an idea. She’s like what? I’m like would it make you feel better if you channeled your anger towards guys and kicked me in the nuts? She’s like lol wait what? Are you serious? I’m like well it wouldn’t feel good for me but if it releases some anger for you it might. So she laughed and she’s like are you sure about this? I’m like yeah just go it. I stood in front of. Stood with my legs kind of separated. She’s like omg are you sureeee? And laughed again. I’m like yeah. She goes for it, kicks me in the balls! I have this look of shock on my face and I drop to the ground. She was like LMAO sorry! Then she helped me back up and said thanks that did help. I’m like I gotta sit down for a bit and catch my breath. Damn I can’t believe I told you this story from 5 years ago.

[Asker]

I’ll understand if you don’t respond back to this, it’s ok 🤦🏻‍♂️🤐

[Opinion Owner]

What the hell? Ahahaha you are crazy! I can't even imagine how kicking someone else in the balls could even help. I'd never do that. What I would prefer instead is you saying 'let me give you a nice pussy massage'! :) I'd probably laugh and say no, but it's just enough spark to start moving in that direction.

[Asker]

I don’t I heard some girls when they kick a guy in that spot she sorta feels what’s the word, invigorated where a girl feels like she got the upper hand.

[Asker]

if you wanna vent though or ask me anything you can, username is pass_the_celery98

[Asker]

Or not lol, it’s ok don’t worry about it.

[Anonymous]

I've had some really caring and great boyfriends and met some genuinely good guys.
But I've also met the opposite.

For a while, I almost have been spoiled by a boyfriend, and the one after really opened my eyes to the reality of things. That just because someone says they care about you or love you, doesn't mean they'll actually mean it or want the best for you etc.

I'm more cautious now. But I know there are great guys out there.
But I'm definitely not as blue eyed and trusting, and naive as I was before.

[dustybiker]

Yes. I think this is honestly the case with both sides.

[dustybiker]

Not everyone obviously.

[roro_hlbi]

No I think I understand why I had a bad experience and can avoid it in the future.