So I stopped talking to this lady as far as friends. She talked herself up as if she does this and that but she really doesn't do anything. All she wants to do is talk on the phone all the time and doesn't go anywhere. I'm grown, not a child. I am not interested in sitting on the phone all day when I could be at the beach, an upscale restaurant, or at a local baseball game. It's been a month since I've ignored her. She message me yesterday hey girl haven't seen you on a while how are u. I said good you. Her response was girl nothing much ain't nothing going on over here. Which per usual. I feel she's a waste of time. So I just ignored her again. When she's ready to go out then she can hit me up other than that I'm not sitting in the phone. I've got goals to meet and things to do.
I'd talk to her only when bored
She sounds like a time waster I'd just continue to ignore her
That's fine with with me I don't do anything either
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Would you be friends with someone who doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything? All they want to do is talk in the phone all the time?
Yes because i dont want to go anywhere with them either. Yesterday my dad got mad cause he asked me to go places for my bday and i said im not a people person and then he said “it can just be us”. And it took everything in me to not say “yea you’re the one im referring to, i dont wanna be around you.” So i held it in and he begged me to call him later this month so we can hang on my bday and i responded “if i feel up to it.” I really dgaf to be around that man or anyone outside my main tbh. My friend asked me will i be in her wedding and i really dont want to. May make up a last minute excuse. I don't know i just really dont care for people unless they’re my mom/sis/grandparents or im dating them
Why do you feel you're like this? Did people hurt you in the past to where you have no desire to meet hangout? How will you meet a main if you don't go out? To me her intentions are just to sit on the phone all day to gossip and know people business. Why else would she want to be on the phone all day and just stay in the house? Then she lied about going out being the life of the party. people were like she dont do shit or go anywhere. She's nosey too. She complains she wants a main and goes on dating apps but when it's time to meet she wants to do the phone thing so men cut her off. Like no one has time for her. We grown and want to get out and meet potential mates and network..
I've met many men in person. I dont need to go out with a group to meet men. People just get in the way of your personal business anyways. People just annoy me. If you're not my kid or dude im dating, im not promising a seat in my future. I've never been the type to want to keep people wround long term. And no no one hurt me. I just get annoyed of people after 2 hours. So seeing them daily/weekly/monthly is like homework that i dont want. I only need to see them maybe twice a year if that
Girl u sound like an old lady 🤣.. So how do you meet men and have maximum options without going out? When you go out your able to meet a variety of men of your choosing vs a random guy in the store who's just there. And no I don't mean a group. You don't necessarily have to go in a group you can go out with a girlfriend to a football game, upscale lounge, restaurant, networking event, beach where there are tons of men to where you can choose who you like. And why do you feel that way about people? Have you had bad experiences. Not all people are like that. Although there are people in the world who are annoying. So what will you do when your family dies off? Not judging I'm just curious what people do in situations like this to where they don't want to be bothered with people.
I'm not exactly a people person either but I've come to the realization that if I really want to get ahead in my career, meet like minded , good people, and successful I prefer i have to put myself out there.
You need good connections but you dont need friends. When it comes to dudes, theyre everywhere. Baseball games, casinos, grocery stores, malls, gas stations, restaurants, banks, etc. So im going to flirt up a storm if im up to it, no matter where i am. I just dont fool with women. What can they do for me? Im not trying to marry a woman or have kids with them so im not trying to be friends with them. Occasional conversation is enough. As for dudes, if im not attracted to certain ones, the most they can provide is occasional convo. Im not looking to be anyones friends. I just see people as disposable. The same goes for family who i did not grow up living with. I have no interest in getting to know them further. My dad did nothing bad to me. I just dont care to know him so he needs to stop trying. When i have kids, im not calling him over so he should just quit while he's ahead
Not everything comes from somewhere else. As you get older, you yourself more. I've always found people disposable but When you’re young, you have to fake like you like people bexwuse you're forced to see them at school/work/fanily reunions. When you reach 18, you can tell people just exactly how shitty they are and not feel bad about it. I love it. I remember i was always forced to invite the same 145-175 people to all my events because i was a kid and we get no say so. But nah first thing i did when i got older was tell people why i didn't like them and why i wouldn't invite them to shit else. Like if i get married, its only 10 people i care to have there on my side but because i can't bring myself to be too rude to my dads side of the family, it’ll be 20 in total. But because i’ll likely have a destination wedding in Vegas or Miami so that those people can't fly to where i am, i’ll probably get to keep it under 10 guests on my side. Whatever dude i marry, i slick hope he's an orphan or lonewolf
What i jusr said above cut out the most important part. “As you get older, you get to know yourself more.” Also, my fams toxic as shit so once i move states, they know they likely will only hear from me once a month or twice a year. Theyre fulla shit. When you learn peoples true colors, you dont feel bad about showing true colors in return. And its not about anyone hurting me. I've always been built this way. I just got tired of playing nice. I stopped playing nice the moment i hit 18.
So if your main doesn't last what's next? What girlfriend or person will you have to vent to or go to for advice? "You can tell people just exactly how shitty they are.." girlfriend!! You are not like this for no reason. Something happened to you along the way. Someone hurt you, disappointed you, stabbed you in the back or something. People don't just feel this way. There's some trust issues here too
If he doesn't last then there's always the next. My mindset has always been that way. When i date someone, im loyal while with them. If we have probs, i’ll try to fix it but im not trying longer than some days to a month. there's too many fish in the sea to keep fighting for the same sorry one. If im having issues, a girl is the last person to talk about it with. Its best to get advice from the sex that you’re dating. Besides, girls dont know their limits. We always go for eachothers guy at the end of the day. Im not a good friend girl and have no issue admitting that. Well everyone hurts everyone is the way i see it. So its not like someone hurt me. They just did nothing for me so i did nothing for them in return. My dad did nothing to me but i dont owe him anything so he can get tf on. Friend girls went after my man but im sure i went after theirs too so i can't fault them 100% for that. My main fam sees me as a walking atm so they not gone see shit else from me once i hop states. My extended fam just like to gossip and bring people down. I dont need that in my life. Its bad enough i was forced to be around them growing up. Im not obligated to be around any of them once i hit 18+. Backstabbing people is just common no matter if its a friend or fam or stranger. I dont expect anything from people and they shouldn't expect anything from me cause im not loyal to anyone whos not my future offspring. I dont see anything wrong with being this way. Im quite comfortable.
Girl I asked bc my patients mom life is so sad. She has no friends, works all day everyday, her husband is all she talks to, he treats her like a slave. She don't do nothing. So because she ain't got friends she be trying to vent to me but I don't like the bitch so I'm like okay end of shift sign my sheet good night.💀💀🤣. She a messy bitch. I ain't tryna be her friend.
Like her dude be telling her ," put my socks on for me. Go find my phone charger. Cook my dinner, do this, do that. He don't do shit. . He act nice in front of her family but when they ain't around. He treats her like a slave.
Yea there's a difference between having friends and having acquaintances. Friends expect too much and i just dont care to give it. Acquaintances are easier cause i can see them when i get ready. And then i can turn down hanging out with them when im tired of em. You dont owe the lady anything. Tell her the age gap is too big and she should find someone near her age who can play caretaker.
Giving her advice would be like beating a dead record. Tell her once that she deserves better than him. If she stays with him after that then tell her she deserves how he treats her since she ain't tryna fix it
🤣🤣 nah I get paid to care for her daughter. So I don't mind that part but she don't need to be venting to me because I am not her friend and I don't want to be her friend.
Now the family I mentioned in previous post which was family 2. She can vent to me all day. They be having some fine ass rich men in the house. She got connections. she's got a rich husband while she's a stay at home wife. I can learn a lot from her.
Just simply tell the first lady that you want to keep it strictly business and that you came to be a caretaker to her daughter and that gossip is not good for the heart. As for the second, what can you learn from a stay at home wife? They be craving getting out of the house and their dudes are usually the ones treating them like slaves but theyre okay with it because he buys them things. Thats not even worth it when she could just go out and make her own money
Family #1 Like u said talking to her is like beating a dead horse so I avoid her. I'm only there to do one thing and that's to be a caretaker to her daughter and that's only because I get paid to do that. Other than that I don't care about her or her family. She she keep texting me about surgery updates on her child like lady I don't care it's Saturday why you keep texting me
Well surgery updates make sense bexause it pertains to the person you're caring for. But if its random gossip then shut it down and tell her the number is only to be texted if it pertains to the patient
@DizzyDesii Ok so I'm off duty. I'm off from this client until she comes home from the hospital. This is the mom we've been talking about. She's sends me this:
If you want to see "patients name" , she can have visitors.. We would have to time it... there can be no more than 2 people in her room at a time. They gave me a code to give visitors... so I would have to give this to you.
@DizzyDesii I guess she's trying to get me to visit her child while she's in the hospital? See this is why I come to you. You be knowing stuff🤣. What do you think of this?
I’d tell her im not the type to get close to employees outside of work. I’d wish her well, buy the patient a get well soon card or bear and ask that she please not reach out after work hours
Im just a very bothered person. People be tryna do and say stuff that i just dont care to hear. And its like ugh stop bothering me. I don't know why People feel theyre more important to us then they are. I don't know why they feel entitled. And that patients mom definitely feels entitled
@DizzyDesii you read people well. I feel the same way. Like she act like her child a celebrity. I am not going to see that child. I'm going to block the mom until it's time for the child to come home. When the child comes home that's when I get a paycheck. No need of seeing her for free
@DizzyDesii see this is why I don't like people either. Don't get me wrong I would like one or two cool associates I can go out with to certain places. Other than that I don't like people. Most women especially because I've dealt with the catty behavior, gossiping haterish, begging, and majority people aren't good people. But there are some good people but that's a small percentage. Genuine people are hard to come by. once I left high school people from high school tried to follow me on Facebook I blocked they ass💀. I never liked them.
But yeah 1 or 2 cool associates would be ideal but this chic don't do shit so she's usless. I dont want to be associated with her there's no point. No benefit in it.
Meh, I could be friends with someone who stays home all the time once I have other friends who would like to go out. I tell all my friends dont call me though.
I like to be alone so this talking on the phone thing isn't my thing. They can ofc call me if its important, like an emergency or times when they really need a friend or even advice. Just dont call me for stuff you can tell me whenever we meet.
I know a few guys like that. It's not that they want to be on the phone all the time, but more that they want to come to my place and either get drunk, or sit and vent about everything. I have been through some messed up stuff and I would rather be happy. I don't have the desire to gossip or tell everything, you know? I would rather go to the beach in the summer, or go shoot hoops with my son, or go walking on nature trails, go shopping or do anything else.
I get you, it's frustrating. Some people are truly nosey and just need to know everyone's business. Then after you finish talking they go tell someone else everything you said. It's at the point where I just say I can't meet up, because I have an appointment or something. Sometime I tell the one guy to get a girlfriend already, or I tell the other one to go home to his wife. I have my own goals that don't involve listening to grown men complain all day. LoL!
Im an introvert so i like my time at home but im also an extrovert and need to hey out in the fresh air or a club even even though I'm content by myself I also love being around other people that are close to me that do me
@uptowngirl88 I don't atm. I've yet to meet someone that indicates spending time with them is a worthwhile thing to do. I'm tired of wasting time with others physically for no gain. I'm an introvert, it's not fun.
You're not going to meet anyone doing what you're doing. I'm an introvert too but have come to the realization that I'm gonna have to get out and socialize here and there in order to meet someone. For those I see I will not benefit from like the person I posted about. I cut them off
@uptowngirl88 I mean I know I have to socialize outside to meet someone, I'm just not willing to do that atm. I've done it in the past I'd rather not waste my time doing something I hate in my free time. Life is too short and I don't gain anything from being around people lol. It requires too much energy. I currently prefer to be alone and do my own thing, that's the gain from not being around others.
Hmmm that's a good question and my answer would be no because I would know that there afraid to be out in public because of either the clothes that they wear or that they think there to fugly or something else
You know what you're right. She does have a physical issue BUT she constantly talked about how she gets out all the time does this and that. I've come to realize it's not true. She talked herself. There were certain things I noticed she can't do. So I figured later on she was lying about being the life of the party and so on. I get it if she has physical limitations but why not be honest about it? When people lie I'm immediately put off
Because people get turned off by people who can't do certain things either. Because people want to have fun and ignore those who can't. I'm thinking she just wanted to sound like she was normal and playing the odds. You know, like all the strange people you meet on dating sites. They have to tell themselves they are having fun and tell others that because they aren't and don't want to face the truth.
🤣🤣🤣 brutally honest but I agree. I'm just done with her at this point. She text but ain't talking about shit. ain't never doing shit she a waste of my time
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