Why there are fewer girls with real creative hobbies nowadays?

[Anonymous]

I am a very artsy and creative person. I draw and doodle, write stories for magazines, play 2-3 instruments, cook, garden or read books in my free time.
Girls that I generally meet are hardly creative or just have one hobby. They are too much into their appearance, beauty, or other superficial items. Hobbies are like watching movies, anime, or making TikTok videos. I don't consider them as real hobbies.
It's so much harder to always dumb yourself down. It's like a dream if someone knows about musical stuff or discusses a piece they have written or a new quality book they have read or plant care stuff.
After hearing that they don't do anything, it turns me off even if they are attractive. As I know I cannot talk anything with them.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I wonder if social media, and COVID to a certain extent, has killed a lot of people's hobbies that aren't somehow technology/Internet-related.

I'll admit that I don't really have any hobbies aside from hanging out with friends, playing with my pets, and cooking at the moment. I used to draw, write, play the violin, and ride horses, but unfortunately some of those became expensive and time consuming (especially the horses and violin), so not compatible with life as an adult with a job with weird and unpredictable hours (I'm on call a lot), and I also just lost interest over time. I probably allowed negative people and their opinions to get to me too much as well, unfortunately. I've also always been extremely hard on myself and set my expectations very high, so I've had a lot to do with losing confidence, and therefore interest, as well. I've always gotten frustrated if I don't pick up on things or progress as quickly as I think I should. I wonder, too, if I'm just going through a transitional period in my life where my interests are changing and I'm needing to give some things a break to allow the interest to come back, while I try some new things.

The ironic thing is that from the time I was old enough to write, I was considered "gifted" and every teacher I had absolutely adored my writings. However, once I got into high school and was asked to write to fit a specific mold and write in a way that didn't seem natural to me (for me, writing has always been pouring my thoughts onto paper; I don't do well with having to rewrite things in rough drafts and final copies, having to use a specific amount of paragraphs and using filler or rephrasing the same things over and over, or using a certain structure that seems to compromise what I want to say and how I want to deliver it - I could not STAND journalism or HS/college writing classes), I quickly got burned out. I've never been much of a fiction writer since I was a kid, and have never really liked writing about things I have no interest in or knowledge about, either. I do much better giving detailed responses to questions on sites like this, or writing about something I feel compelled to at the moment, usually my frustrations. 🤣 So, I guess you could say I still write some, but I'm not sure I'd consider it a hobby rather than a stress reliever.

I was also considered artistic (though I never thought my drawings were that good compared to most, and unfortunately never took an art class), but I can never get my hands to do exactly what I want them to, which frustrates me! I was actually a pretty good violinist at one point, but hated the pressure I was put under when performing solos and competing at state in HS, and I could've been a much better rider had I not had my confidence ruined in a bad fall in which I was injured, plus I found showing, riding difficult horses, and even just horse ownership and riding in general to be extremely stressful, very expensive, and very inconvenient when I have too much else on my plate these days.

So, I guess it's also a possibility that some of these people are like me; they've been burned out on their hobbies and passions and/or are in a transitional phase in their lives where their interests are changing, they're still trying to figure out how to juggle adult life with them, they're needing a break, or they're wanting to try new things.

I think things like TikTok are generally easier than pursuing a hobby and getting good at it, and a lot of people would rather have that instant gratification than struggling to perfect something, too.

[Asker]

Women are more after instant gratification than men. You will hate yourself more in the future if you kill your hobbies. It's really refreshing to talk to a girl without talking about relationships, sex, or their past boyfriends on dates or in general. But I get it, I had more hobbies too while I was in school. I was top in debate, extempore, and recitation among top schools/colleges. I had a collection of rare rocks and a few fossils and stamps which are now lost. Perhaps instead of pursuing many hobbies, you can at least keep one.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh, I completely understand. I don't like talking about relationships, sex, or past boyfriends either. 🤣

That's really neat about your past hobbies and how successful you were with them, but I'm sorry about your collections!

I think you're right about pursuing just one. I'm currently trying some different things to see what I like, but for now it's cooking that I've been enjoying a lot. It has its benefits of creating healthier, cheaper, and better meals at home, which is nice!

[Asker]

I am good at cooking , you can find few I have made here
https://imgur.com/a/RQj94hc

[Opinion Owner]

Nice! Those look great!

[Xoxocutekitty]

I think instead of shitting on certain hobbies (and attributing personality characteristics on a complete stranger), you should 1) actively pursue people who do have the hobbies you value and 2) increase your tolerance of of how different people like to spend their leisure time. There isn't a 'right' answer, anymore there is a 'real hobby' other than what you can learn to tolerate and validate (your partner will still want to share updates of selected hobby).

I might personally think fantasy football is dumb and an easy way to lose lots of money, but I know tons of really smart, really social, and funny people are into it. I won't discredit any one who likes a hobby that's different from me like hunting, cars, watching TV, bar crawls etc.

The thing with creative/producing hobbies, is often the creator needs to spend a lot of alone time to focus and create. So really, what your partner does in their own time, doesn't have to 'measure up' to yours. Hobbies aren't a competition unless you make them out to be. And there are benefits to having a partner who has different hobby 'flow' than you.

Someone who likes woodworking and gets 'lost in the garage' for hours, might eventually realize that someone with a flexible hobby like tik tok is actually on top of meal prep. Two artisans may never eat dinner on time and may fight about who gets to 'work on their hobby' when. Or maybe someone with less interest in a creative hobby, is producing ($$$) all day in the boardroom, and just wants to relax on the nice couch they brought into the relationship.

We're all different, and while having mutual interests to start can be important, there are other bedrock qualities they have which are more important for lasting relationships (loyalty, kindness, tolerance, patience, fidelity).

[Asker]

Watching TV or fantasy footballs aren't actual hobbies. You can have a great carrier and still pursue at least one hobby. I believe if relationships if two people share nothing but their bodies, they will have a more chance of burning out or getting bored with each other. Loyalty, kindness, and the other stuff you mentioned are very common among people but clicking with each other isn't.
In addition, if a girl isn't into creative stuff herself, she will not actually like the guy who is. She will get bored when you start talking anything about them and eventually leave you for a guy like herself.

[Anonymous]

Because women are boring.

No seriously, they are boring. Sure there are outliers, but after dating several different women and living with a few, I’ve found that all of them were pretty dull and had no hobbies or were especially interested or passionate about anything.

Some of them were better company than others, some were slightly more fun to hang out with, or were more fun in bed, but I couldn’t really talk to any of them about anything of any real substance. It was all just “what’re we going to do tonight” or “what do you want for dinner” type conversations or they’d tell me about their day at work and what someone said or did.

Boring.

Eventually I realized it was simply unrealistic of me to put the kind of expectations I was placing on women. Why should I be able to talk to them about things? Or have deep conversations? Why should they be really into music, literature, art, politics, philosophy etc?

In the end I decided I’d rather just be with a woman who didn’t nag or bitch too much and who was fun to have sex with. Someone who appreciated me and who felt safe and comfortable with me, and who I could feel comfortable around. She doesn’t have to have any hobbies, or be passionate about anything, or have read the same books I have, or give a damn about philosophy or art. She just has to give me space to enjoy those things and pursue those things and not bust my balls over not mowing the yard or doing housework or some chore when she wants it done. It’ll get done, it always does, but life is hard enough without some woman giving you grief in your home.

[Subarugirl]

Just because you chose women who do not share your interest in creativity and intellectual conversation doesn't mean that they are outliers. It just means you pick boring women.

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl and yet one can’t discover how truly boring women are until one is in a relationship with them.

[Subarugirl]

Well my girlfriends weren't boring... why didn't you just get with some who had mutual interests?

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl of course you don’t think they are boring because you’re a female just like them. Maybe you and your lover read Cosmo articles together or talk about nail polish shades.

[annabananna]

The type of people you are around says a lot more about you than you realize.

[Subarugirl]

Honey, I've been working in the automotive industry for the past 6 years. I am an archer, and grew up hunting and fishing with my dad. In my spare time I enjoy photography, and actually owned a photography business for 3 years. I paint, play 3 different instruments, garden, forage, can, cook, sew, brew and a plethora of other activities and hobbies...
So while you are caught up on Cosmo and nail polish shades, I'll be taking measurements for a kitchen remodel and flooring instillation.

[Subarugirl]

@annabananna exactly, brilliant point.

[TsAubreyKate]

Omg ikr girls are so uninteresting nowadays if they aren’t following the crowd and doing what everyone else is doing they’re doing nothing and whine about being depressed like dude you don’t even know who you are you are the only person in existence who will ever be you your value isn’t defined by your looks or all that other superficial materialistic crap you have talents and gifts that may even benefit society and you waste them for what social status this question pissed me off because I’m so sick of dating boring women with no interest or hobbies whatsoever when did it become cool to be a loser

[AmandaYVR]

I don't know if that's true or not (I haven't noticed or experienced this as a gender-specific thing)... but if it is, it could be that they're spending all their free time online, focused on fashion and beauty imagery, seeing what's popular, and thinking about how to emulate that so that they too can be liked, popular. Females tend to do this more. It's supply and demand. They are the sellers of their beauty and sexuality; men, the buyers.
These pursuits do involve some creative expression, but other than how to style oneself, they're not creative hobbies, as you mentioned. You may have a valid comment about this. When I think back to how things used to be, and I watch old TV series depicting life previously, one concept comes to mind when comparing it to today - internet addiction. The majority of people who spend hours browsing social media picture and video sites like Instagram and Tiktok, are not developing any new skills. They're killing time (a common answer to 'why are you on GAG?'), and maybe also looking how to fit in and be accepted by the world. There are many opportunities to get to know people, but the issues will be revealed later, when time spent together is revealed to be empty of substance and passions. Being liked is not a passion or interest or hobby. Yet without them, and little to talk about or share, can one be truly liked?

[Asker]

You can be great at hobbies and advertise that online. People appreciate it too, actual people. Whereas beauty/fashion insta and TikTok followers are most likely will be thirsty guys. Women don't realize their looks will never be enough for deeper guys who will stay with them. After some years their looks will run off too and she will be invisible and dumped by those guys. Most people forget actresses/models ten years past industry even if they were insanely famous once.

[SpiderManFan2002]

Firstly there are plenty of girls out there into what you’re into.


Secondly nobody should gatekeep what creativity is, that literally defeats the purpose of creativity. Beauty, content creation, being into anime and movies can all be creative hobbies. Have you ever seen how much effort it takes for a girl to create cool artsy makeup looks or just a makeup look that makes her look really good? TikTok can be creative too, some content I see some people, including girls make on there is awesome and a lot of time, effort, and creativity goes into their TikTok projects. Anime? I’ve seen so many creative girls into anime, especially ones who draw anime characters, write fanfiction, make fan predictions, and again a girl who is into movies can be creative for the same reasons, plus movie analysis, rewriting scripts, fan art the list goes on.


In conclusion, the problem isn’t girls, it’s your perception of whatever our hobbies may be as not being “real”.

[Asker]

Drawing anime and watching it are different. When you are drawing it's an actual hobby that requires developing a skillset. If you can actually sing or dance without lipsync on TikTok that's the actual talent. Watching something is just spending time and everyone does that without having any talent.

[SpiderManFan2002]

Well I don’t know which girls you’re meeting but no girl I’ve ever met solely watched something or just lip syncs on TikTok and that’s all there is to her existence. Every girl I know is a beautiful person with so many things about her that make her interesting.

Sounds like to me you just want a pick me girl who tells you she’s not like ✨other girls✨😂😂

[Asker]

Let's say I have recently met a girl. I asked her about herself, she told me she likes to watch different anime. Cool, any other hobbies, she said not really. I asked about some of her fav anime, told some of mine. Later I asked if she was fond of cooking. She said she can't cook much, only some instant noodles, some fried eggs, and tea. It's okay for her, but I am looking for more in a woman.

[Asker]

They may have education, careers but so do I, and I don't like just formal education or career to define myself.

[Buntyp]

Anonymous, again!

Is it any surprise that your ridiculous whining has no basis in anything but your misogynistic prejudice? You are obviously--if, at all, you actually do possess the talents that you claim--deliberately avoiding the possibility of being challenged and put in your arrogant place by the vast amount of highly skilled and talented women all over everywhere that women have hard-won freedom to think, to be and to excel in every field in which they were previously forbidden to take part.

It's not merely that there are better women and girls than you--there are also so very many better men and boys. Feel shame, because that's what you bring on yourself.

[Asker]

So much feministic rants for a simple question. I have said fewer not extinct. It's okay other girls here are much more sensible here and answered without getting triggered so much. I know women with talents but I felt they are fewer in number than men. Women make more insta or TikTok content than men, men perform more in the real world, at least what I have seen. You are free to make comments otherwise without ranting.

[Buntyp]

I am free to do whatever I want, and I certainly do not require your approval! You start as pathetic and then just go on to prove it. Save yourself. Find someone in your family or friends to steer you in the right, as in up and not down, direction.

[Anonymous]

That's unfortunate, when according to some studies, there were more women in creative fields. But creativity is not just about drawing, writing, and playing instruments. Creativity is exploration, being bold, sometimes it has physicality, sometimes it merely stays in one's mind. Some girls may like to look good nowadays due to the trends, but maybe you haven't explore your world's yet. You said you also like art, why don't you joined on art community, you'll find girls there, because I did. Or maybe reason why you rarely met one cause based on my experience (at least at high school) the female have the creativity but less the technicalities (on drawing) that's why there were few females there. And also, don't you think the world is quite reading a poetry; you'll look at things and feel like you've understand it, only to know when you reread it that there's more to it, and that's when you knew everything and everyone were different.

[Asker]

Yes, but still men still dominate creative stuff at the top level. Like most top chefs or painters or writers are men. Girls are good at singing. I cannot give too much time to art, art is very natural and comes easy for me. But I am a physicist, and that's very time-consuming itself. The very few girls I know who are artistic always seem to date guys without zero talents but more outgoing or party types.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe cause they want someone from a different world, so that they could learn form each worlds. Sometimes differences complement the relationship.

[pixie215]

social media seems to be the distraction and the drama it brings almost soap opera like. people have gotten lazier why make it or have a hobby if i can buy it? my friends are no different, i sculpt, paint, diy, cooking, baking, love being outdoors in the summer gardening but never have anyone to do this stuff with so i do it myself. it takes motivation a lot of people are so unoriginal anymore, i still lean on the social media distraction of busy wanting to be on there and not do anything. guys tell me i have to many hobbies, when i show them pics of stuff i do :(

[Asker]

You are just like the female version of me

[pixie215]

air hi five thats awesome to hear

[Yurrasis]

I don't really know since the people I know are all well-versed in a few areas.

My hobbies include drawing (semi-realism and anime), baking, playing instruments, figure skating and gaming (if that counts). I enjoy collecting cool tech too. With enough boredom, you pick up a lot of stuff.

My circle is filled with people that have similar hobbies as me, and some enjoy learning kpop choreos, languages, creating meme edits... you get the idea.

I guess it depends on who you meet and the connections you have. I just found them all through my university club and class discords. I think everyone has a hobby but they just don't say it or think it's considered one.

[Asker]

You sound wonderful.

[Yurrasis]

Awe, thank you. You seem wonderful as well.

[TransAm85]

When I was a kid my mother made me play soccer, the saxophone, Bible study, and summer camp. Kids today couldn't handle the summer camp I had to go to! lol But I'm not mad.. taught me manners and respect. Something kids in this generation are severely lacking.

[sunflower00]

I don’t know where you have got this idea because I don’t think it’s necessarily true? There’s probably a lack of creativity overall compared to the days before social media. However, makeup, fashion, beauty etc. are all creative and can easily be art forms. Maybe you’re approaching the wrong girls? Go to some kind of a music group/clubs for your hobbies and maybe you’ll find someone there?

[Asker]

Makeup, fashion, beauty can be artistic if you are professionally doing it, like those designers. Yes, perhaps I am approaching the wrong girls but I don't do those artworks professionally so not sure if they will like me.

[NathanDavis]

maybe they're all just avoiding you...

I was close with many of the "artsy" people because of my best friend (s) and they absolutely dread snobby people like you... and you seem to be the most insufferable kind of snob, the one without any real talent... lol

these douchebag vibes coming out of you are quite strong, it's a repellent

[Asker]

My countless awards state otherwise but talentless people always hate those who have, so you are not showing anything new. I have taught drawing and music to many kids free of cost so I am neither a snob nor bitter like you.

[NathanDavis]

if you're an awarded artist indeed... then you must be featured somewhere as no award giving institution would do it without promotion, or even have your own work on socials...

so go ahead, and DM the links for it... (since you posted anonymous, I am sure you're not keen on proving it)

I sure would like to be wrong on this one

show me your award winning doodles

[Asker]

I have won awards at school, colleges, and university competitions and all of them are physical documents and certificates. I am not going to put those online. The kind of awards you are talking about, people get them when they are doing those professionally. My profession is not performing arts.

[NathanDavis]

short translation... "full of BS"

but that does not surprise me, I was quite sure you have nothing to show...

so let's go after the next step

would you be so kind to describe the composition or a couple of your award winning doodles?

I am sure you can at least do that, and don't worry about being as technical or abstract as you wish... it won't be lost on me

[NathanDavis]

and by the way... even if you were the modern day Da Vinci you claim to be

if that were true... then you would just drop one spot... the snob WITH an actual talent, is just the #2 most insufferable kind of snob, so yes... still a repellent

and surely, they are all just avoiding you like the plague

[Asker]

Drew this
https://imgur.com/NuI4qJE

[Asker]

Those are called vector graphics, created on adobe illustrator.

[NathanDavis]

definitely a school project... especially for digital design, if this won an award then the second place was just worth the consideration

one final question thought... a particular one

when you started to draw this piece... where did you start to draw it... and what was the last you worked out, I am interested on how exactly does your creative flow, flows...

everyone is quite particular about it... especially when self-taught... which I assume you are

[Asker]

It's for a conference presentation, not schoolwork. I haven't won awards in doodling or music but in recitation, elocution and debates. I drew that at my home.

[NathanDavis]

please do not avoid my question...

what did you draw first... what followed next... what was the last?

such a gifted and creative artist you are so please... enlighten us, and describe the flow of your composition for us...

[NathanDavis]

I said please, I do think I asked nicely... lol

so would you please?

[Asker]

Drawing with actual palette and paper or computer-generated, which one you wanna know?

[NathanDavis]

the one you posted, no other...

[NathanDavis]

and, I am particularly interested on the tracing... if is not much to ask

[Nazgol]

Because it's not being as encouraged any more. Back in the olden days when there was no computer around people made their own toys to play with. Now Parents are giving kids a lot of free choice on hobbies & what they like to do in their free time. I believe it all starts in the home. If a child is encouraged or made to (in some cases with controlling parents) then it will grow to continue and like certain hobbies. But nowadays kids just think why should they put their head into doing something hard or unnecessary when they can just be online most of the day on their phone

[ShadesOfPale86]

I don't know I do tons of crafts and am always looking for more learning opportunities but im also an introvert after years of being drained by people and never putting energy back into myself. Maybe they just don't know yet that it's ok enjoy something alone or worry they may get teased? The media rules the masses

[Asker]

The latest craft I made was a clay lamp like people used in the Mesopotamian culture, 7000 years ago.

[ShadesOfPale86]

That's awesome right now I'm making a visual journal from scratch with an old hardcover and different papers and binding it together. Also learning watercolor pastel and charcoal pencils

[Asker]

Ohh those are great

[ShadesOfPale86]

Yeah unfortunately ivw never really troed2at drawing or painting sooo its a long road

[Asker]

Try to watch everyday objects, light, and shadows and grow a vivid imagination. If you can paint a picture on your mind it will come easy on board.

[slatyb]

There are plenty of very creative women, you just aren’t meeting them. It could be your location, or it could just be that you aren’t getting out enough. Try community theater. Or take classes in anything creative that interests you. Check meetups in your area for artistic groups. Find a musical group to join.

[Medicalbug]

I have the same issues with guys who play video games all day or do nothing but go to the gym and play sports. Going to a bar and watching YouTube/Tiktok/whatever is also not something I see as a hobby.
We should probably offer to hook up all the people we’ve been dating and charge a fee because they sure sound like soul mates.

[Gameplayer1]

Well, as supposedly medical person, you never posted anything medical or educational. So why shit?
Even AvaAmalia, which you blocked, managed to post three articles.

[Medicalbug]

Next time I will just call myself God and start a cult with people who think my name makes me divine.

[Cathy7734]

A social studies teacher told our class that few people have hobbies nowadays, at least in the traditional sense. In other words, people may have online hobbies, including video games, but not too many doing new instruments, photography, etc.

[Anonymous]

I partially know what you mean because I was born in the early 1990's. And back then I didn't normally hear people saying their hobbies were watching anime, movies, TV series, cartoons or making daily life videos. Those were simple creative times. But as time changes, people have many more different ways of showing their creativity. By the way, what do you grow in your gardening?

[Asker]

Vanda and dendrobium, poppy, a few breeds of roses, and portulacas as flowers
parsley, asparagus, oregano, basil herbs, lemongrass.
As I am actually from STEM (Physics), I have extensive botanic knowledge and I cross portulacas to create new variations and color patterns.

[Opinion Owner]

WoW. You have a good garden. Do you mean you have a blend of different colour roses when you say "breed of roses"?

[Asker]

Yes but also a little different in species, like china roses, grandifloras, centifolia

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like a beautiful garden 🙂

[Asker]

Yes, with the right knowledge everyone can make a great garden

[Opinion Owner]

That's true. I have a few plants. But if I had more knowledge in agriculture, I could have got more

[Opinion Owner]

I'm really trying hard to grow a Kiwi plant.

[BlackTealLazer]

I like to draw in complete privacy. I'm a writer, I bake, I collect rocks, I write music, I play the violin, and I dance.

[MrWolf]

Probably because to mirror something is way easy then to find a way and express yourself in a unique manner.

To copy and paste is the new creative for most people. But whatever makes em happy is their own poison either way.

[ElvenMr]

I know what you mean. A lot of girls simply say they don't have hobbies. They only work/go to school and don't really have time for hobbies.

I'm happy if she's able to answer that question in some way, just have some kind of "hobby" whatever it may be.
It can be anything she likes to do, even watching movies/tv shows. I'm just interested in her and what she likes to do. If it's make up, or trying out different hairstyles, then say that.

[lrina]

art is a very common hobby nowadays though, especially for teenage girls. so i don't really see why you automatically assume that girls don't have creative hobbies anymore.

[Asker]

I am not saying that it's lost. It's just more and more teenage girls are busy making cheap videos on insta and TikTok. Even if some girls are pursuing art, very few of them are knowledgeable about their field, they are just doing it vaguely.

[lrina]

understandable i suppose.

[NorthAfrican]

I dont think this is a gendered issue...

I had the same issue finding men with intellectual and artistic interests as well. All they care about is fucking around and partying and cars and drinking and football.