My ex playing games with me And using my child?

[Warrior42393]

So over several months my ex-girlfriend has been using my daughter to ask me stuff to my seven-year-old daughter about to turn 8 years old keeps trying to get me to go on a date with her mom now mind you my ex is married and this is being continuing going on for since June of last year has been continuing this way will you take mommy out to dinner with me will you fix things with Mommy and get back together with Mommy stuff like that and I told her no your mom's married I try to redirect the conversation to something else but it keeps coming back then when I went to court my ex will not stop staring at me the whole time due to child support but that's besides the point but the whole entire time since she walked in till I left it was dead stare at me can I tell her facial expression because she was wearing a mask we've been separated for almost seven years now and we have a child together and less weekend on Sunday I talked to my daughter and she was trying to go take me to Chinese food and wanting her mom to come up with just her and her mom and I heard my ex that we will have to wait and see because I'm moving up toward she's kind of near me but not are heard that makes any sense so that's my question is she playing games with me and using my daughter?

[ohshee]

All I can say is what is going to happen my Ex hated me when I left. Anything she could do to me to try to hurt me she did it. She started talking crap to my son about me. And when I would pick my son up. for visitation s he would ask me the craziest questions. I would tell her she needed to stop. I told her one day our kid was going to be smarter than her and he's goi g to figure it all out and he was going to hate her for it.. . she thought she was so smart. There were many days my son would ask me things about what happen. And also ask me about his mom. I would always him one of these days when I felt he was old enough I would tell him. But I said before I do that I want you to ask your grand ma and grand pa. Your aunt and uncles on his moms side and at 17 his mom called me and asked me to come pick him up he was out of control. I asked what was wrong she told me she didn't know but he was angry at her. And was treating her like shit. . I went and picked him up. I asked what was wrong.. at first He didn't say.. but then he asked me why I never talked shit about his mother. I said no reason to. He said bull shit. With everything she's done to you. And I just looked at him. I said what do you mean. He said it was grandma bevs birthday. And everyone was there and i asked every one what happen they all told me the same thing that his mom made up just about everything he was ever told. He said fuck that bitch.
I wanted to say a lot of things.
But it wasn't about me.
It was about my kid and trying to teach him who to be In. This
World. and how to treat women

I told him hold. First of all donot disrespect your mother. He said fuck her look what she did to you.
I said yah your right. She did it to me. Not you. That's between her and me. He said you never said one bad thing about her why. I said because I new this day would come.
I would tell her to stop. Because one day you would find out the truth. And it wasn't going to be from me. I said look let me deal with it my way. You need to deal with ur mom the right way. It's ok to be angry. But you need to be smart about it. Tell her why ur pissed . And be calm about it
Stop calling her a whore stop calling her a bitch and a cunt. Look she did what she though was right at the time. She was hurt. She was angry pissed off at me for leaving. Yes she went about it the wrong way. I paid the price. He said why did you do that.. I said I had to. Because she always threatened me that I wouldn't get to see you and had been to court so many times she cost me every penny I had ever made I said thank God Mike came in to her life. that was my son's step dad. I said the moment they got married I new she was going to leave me alone.
Any way what I want to say to you. Is think before you say or do anything . It takes time and a lot of heart ache . Be the bigger person for your daughter's sake.. and remember this is the most important thing out of all of this who you are what she sees in you as a man is who she's going to look for as a boyfriend a husband.. if your an asshole a loud mouth shit talker that's who she's going to seek.. because you are her God. She doesn't know better she only knows what you teacher her. NOT WITH YOU WORDS. But with your tone of voice. Ur body language your attitude ur love or hate. This is not about you. This is about your daughter and who's she is going to become in life and the man she's going to have in her life. You are responsible for the choices she makes they will be good guys or they will all be assholes u have 1 goal. that is to teach ur daughter to become 10 times better than you and your ex

[Warrior42393]

Agreed I've never talked anything like her mother like that at all I never said anything this is all started since July of last year since I split up with my other ex and now all the sudden this is what's going on she keeps asking me we get back together with mommy work things out Mary mommy stuff like that and I'm like no your mom is married and that's the end of it

[ohshee]

I hate that you have to go through that because it totally sucks you just have to be smarter way smarter and do the right thing for your kid and just make she knows how much you love her it will always be there for her

[Exterminatore]

I don’t know if she’s playing games or not maybe yes maybe no maybe your daughter just wants her mom and dad together like a normal nuclear family this is called a run on sentence because there is no punctuation it makes it tough to understand what I’m trying to say huh next time please use periods and commas

[Warrior42393]

Sorry I was using talk to text and it doesn't do that and I forgot to edit it

[Exterminatore]

It’s ok. I was just poking a little fun at you.

[Warrior42393]

All good

[SnakeBoop]

Okay, but please learn punctuation. Thats hard to read, and I'm still not sure if I've gotten the story straight.
But, some advice: When your kids ask about it, be simple and explain that the relationship with their mother won't go back to how it was, (no need to name reasons, but stop hiding from it).
Half your issue is you're deflecting when your kids are asking about it, which just makes it awkward and confuses them. So far I don't see anything thats really anything your ex is trying to use you through.

[Warrior42393]

Juat seems to me she useing my daughter to tell me stuff she wants and sorry I was useing talk to text

[Iron_Man]

Keep the child out of that tell your daughter if you can’t say something nice don’t say it at all I don’t like it when parents do that trying to brainwash the kids about the father

[Warrior42393]

Oh trust me I've been dealing with this since July of last year words constantly my daughter keeps trying to get me and her mom back together. And it's b******* I'm tired of it but I've told my daughter several times I do not want to get back together with your mother

[Iron_Man]

Right ….

[Avicenna]

Of course. Exes do stuff like that all the time

[Warrior42393]

I just don't understand why they do it