When did you start maturing mentally?

[Apulu_Imback]

I mean when did you came up from your childish and innocent self and started being mature? For me I was a pretty cringe and annoying kid till I was a 12 yr old. I started maturing after I became teenager and recently after joining high school I'm becoming comparatively more responsible too.

[HighlyVolatile]

I sort of matured very quickly in one way and extremely slowly in another (still a work in progress the other way).

Mostly when it comes to fulfilling my responsibilities and obligations to other people, I became quite good at that from early childhood. I decided to adopt some of the most old-school Japanese ethics which place maximum emphasis on duties, obligations, and over-accountability (I volunteer to take the blame even for other people's mistakes) in ways that separated me even from my Japanese peers and even my parents and teachers. There I distinguished myself even at ages as early as 4 years old.

Where I have been very slow to mature and still a work in progress is with respect to taking care of myself. I've been a lifelong adrenaline junkie that loves dangerous thrills. Once I tried alcohol for the first time, I was also hooked. I don't feel a need to be responsible when it comes to my own well-being and safety. The only time I feel the need to be responsible for my own well-being is when other people tie theirs most to mine (as an example I quit drinking around an ex-girlfriend for almost two years taking care of a very sickly and anemic ex-girlfriend prone to fainting a lot; she often needed me to carry her home so I didn't want to risk getting drunk around her and being unable to carry her home).

So I can be very mature and responsible on behalf of other people who need me most. I can also absorb all the dangerous risks and costs (both socially and physically) for the sake of others. Yet I am borderline reckless when it comes to being mature and responsible with respect to my own well-being and safety.

[HighlyVolatile]

If we're talking about emotional maturity and conquering the temptation to do immature and irresponsible things through counter-productive thought patterns, I'm also a mixed bag. When it comes to emotions like fears, jealousy, hatred, and vengeful desires, I overcame those at a very young age. Actually, I'm not sure if I ever overcame those so much or just lacked them my whole life.

When it comes to brief bouts of irritability and anger and boredom though, I've never been able to overcome those fully in ways that I no longer feel at all. I've only been able to shorten the periods of time where I feel them until I reframe my thoughts in ways that make me cheerful and amused again.

[Apulu_Imback]

Wow it's same for me! I'm pretty irresponsible when it comes to me. Like if I treat someone else like I treat myself they will surely think I hate them. I'm pretty irresponsible for my health and in this whole world I don't know why the hell I like overworking myself. I am also that adrenalin junkie who loves taking thrills. Really it's very hard to resist that urge to push me in dangers because the thrilly feeling... it's amazing. I thought I was only that weirdo who loved pushing myself in danger.

[HighlyVolatile]

I enjoy it! I sometimes wonder if there's an artistic sort of urge behind it. I think at least people motivated towards creativity tend to like exploring extremities of some sort, like fashion as an example. I never got all into pushing the edges of what is considered fashionable but the edge I'm drawn to is extreme and thrilling situations. There's maybe some sense of self-discovery through navigating the extremities of things.

Another possibility at least in my case is that I think more balanced and sane people are motivated by taking actions that offer low risk and high reward and mostly by the prospect of the reward. I tend to be motivated by actions that offer high risk and little to no reward. The risk alone is what makes things fun and exciting to me.

[Apulu_Imback]

Yeah that thrill of risk is so fun. Just like how it is scary to go in a haunted house yet people go there for that suspenseful and chilly feeling.

[HighlyVolatile]

I tend to enjoy those along with horror films!

I can never quite pinpoint why I have this thrill-seeking and extreme side but another possibility that crosses my mind is that the bulk of our evolutionary history was likely spent facing dangerous situations all the time: navigating the dangers of the wilderness, hunting and foraging for food, risking injury, disease, famine, avoiding dangerous animals, climbing trees, swimming deep, etc. I sometimes feel like civilization has made things far too safe in ways that -- for some of us thrill-seekers -- cause more discomfort than comfort. Being so safe makes me more uncomfortable than being in danger.

Yet another is that if we're inclined towards protecting and taking care of others, it might be a style of training. If the building erupts on fire, I want to be among those protecting others and guiding people to safety, not among those who need to be protected. So exposing myself regularly to dangerous situations might help me to stay calm and avoid panicking if such a thing were to happen.

[Apulu_Imback]

Oh yeah that can be a reason too

[AlwaysBelieving]

I don't think I can ping it down to a specific age. My parents have always said "you're mature for your age." Chalk it up to having childhood traumas (yes, that's plural). I'm still maturing 30+ years later.

[Apulu_Imback]

Wow great!

[skyeee_]

when i was like 12.5 years old. im prolly still developing mentally but I've definitely become 10x better than i was before

[Apulu_Imback]

Same but I received my maturity when I became a 13 yr old. Before that I was pretty cringe.

[TrueConfection]

Wait... Responsible or mature? I became a lot more responsible once I was pregnant. Mature? nope.

[Apulu_Imback]

More towards maturity. Thanks for your opinion

[n4meAL]

since 2014 when I was 9 years old when I first developed anxiety disorder, my mind seems to be maturing too fast. I'm like a 9 year old kid but 20 year old mind.
from then on i kept on thinking often and asking myself questions

[Apulu_Imback]

Oh yes curiosity is one of the symptoms of wise person.

[n4meAL]

but it can also cause ANXIETY DISODER and OCD 😂😂

[Apulu_Imback]

Were you extremely curious than you should be? You got your anxiety from curiosity?

[n4meAL]

For example, when my teacher explains about a disease, I always seem to think about the disease, ask myself what it is and always take care of myself from the disease, even take a bath and wash my hands.

[Apulu_Imback]

Oh ok

[Sonorous]

I started to become that way around the time I got into philosophy. So around the age of 17-18.

[Apulu_Imback]

Great

[Rizwan_khan]

Maturity didn't comes with age it's come with circumstances and i have still childish in nature although I'm 26 but i m getting mature at the age of 12.

[Apulu_Imback]

Yeah I know that but there is a point of time when you start being mature. When you are experienced enough to be mature. I'm asking for that time.

[Rizwan_khan]

Then it is 15. Although if you live without your parents so you have to be mature anyway. With out parents life is like hell.

[Apulu_Imback]

Oh yes I understand that

[Rizwan_khan]

Thanks for understand.

[Still-alive]

Maturing? whats that word mean? :o

jk... uhh i guess i'd say starting in teenage years... i feel it took me until just these past couple years to really mature.

[Apulu_Imback]

I mean when you started becoming less childish and more mature mentally aka more wise and responsible. Not about puberty lol.

[Still-alive]

yes im acting dumb on purpose :P

in many ways i've not matured at all lol

[Apulu_Imback]

Well I don't think so. I mean yeah you do act dumb many times (sorry for saying you dumb. Don't take it to heart and focus on main point) but I have read many of your opinions which are mature too. From what I observed is, you are a type of person who is light hearted most of the time but when it comes to something serious then you act responsibly and maturely.

[Still-alive]

haha well thank you. i was being facetious mostly but ill accept your compliment :)

[Baylay]

It doesn't come with age but it comes with experience

[Apulu_Imback]

Yeah I know but there is a point of time when you start being mature. And that point of time is different for all. I am asking the time they became experienced enough to be mature.

[Baylay]

I was at the age of 17 and a half

[Apulu_Imback]

I see. Thanks for your opinion!

[MrSilverBR]

At my first job at 18, I found out I have responsibilities to take care of
In my perspective, girls tend to mature before (like in your case)

[Apulu_Imback]

It also depends on the way they grow up I guess. I picked up my mature traits of my dad so I became like him. Also I had a really bad time when I was of 12 years so I learnt a lot from that.

[NathanDavis]

four years old, pretty much...

[Apulu_Imback]

I see

[NathanDavis]

that's when I started to read and write, mostly on my own

[Apulu_Imback]

I mean when you started becoming mature. Not when you started being literate if you get what I mean.

[NathanDavis]

yes, I know what you meant... I literally started to read a lot and expand my mind on many things, I certainly was not just picking my nose at age 5, lol

[Apulu_Imback]

Wow that's great. I was the one eating mud at 4 years of age lol.

[NathanDavis]

lmao... to be fair, I kept eating leaves from this tree, till I was six years old

[Apulu_Imback]

I don't know why but these gross things are only appealing as toddler.

[exitseven]

I am not there yet. Stay tooned.

[Apulu_Imback]

Best of luck for that!

[Cubus]

I have it right now to be honest

[Apulu_Imback]

I see. You seemed very mature when we conversed.

[slatyb]

Last year.

[Apulu_Imback]

Good!

[TheMajesticKing777]

At 14

[Apulu_Imback]

I see

[HeartFullOfGlue]

Around 10-11

[Apulu_Imback]

Wow that time only thing which bothered me was not getting ice cream

[HeartFullOfGlue]

I don't know what you mean by maturing mentally tbh

[Apulu_Imback]

By that I mean being more responsible, less childish (whinny about things), more understanding and more wise.

[HeartFullOfGlue]

Oh then like, 8-9 (for responsibility) and 10-11 (for being less whinny)
I was always pretty wise or curious at least (not in math tho)

[Apulu_Imback]

Wow, you go girl!

[HeartFullOfGlue]

Thank ya very much ^^