Do you view it as shameful for a woman to not be strong and independent?

Question

Datboi65 · Accepted Answer

No? You're not "strong" because you are doing normal adult shit. Having a job, living in your own apartment and paying for rent. That's normal adult living, it doesn't make women "strong".

Personally, I think it's completely fine if a woman lives with her parents in her 20s. However, it's not the same if a guy does, because society expects men to always create and not be bums. If a woman is a bum, nobody cares at all, because they are not doing the hard, labor-intensive jobs. If a man is a bum, you have less able-bodied workers to work in warehouses, lay bricks, work in construction and maintain infrastructure. Women cannot do that. Women only want to receive managerial positions, without going through the process. Equality has both of the good and the bad, in the sense that yes more women will be in the government, but also more women will have to work these tough jobs that they may not be ready to handle.

We have made society so comfortable, that women now think that they are "independent" of us if they work, it's actually crazy. I will never look down on a woman without a job, because that's not an expectation I have for her to have a job. It's her choice at the end of the day. I will always look down on a man who doesn't have a job, because I do have that expectation for him to go out and make ends meet, even if it was an minimum wage job.

ObscuredBeyond · Accepted Answer

There's a balance to be had. If she's overly needy, that's bad. If she's psychotically needy, run. If she can't lift a Kleenex without getting tired, that's a problem.

But not every gal needs to be a clone of Wonder Woman.

If she has the physical beauty of Luanu Lani, but the strength, morals, and fighting spirit of Elizabeth Johnston or Kate Shemirani, that's good enough.

She doesn't have to be like Cassie Cage in Mortal Kombat X, punching the Devil into submission, which is just absurd. But if she can stand her ground even in the face of tyrannical brutality and kidnapping, like Katherine Henry when abused by the worthless DA of Allegan County in Michigan in November of 2020 (may that incident never be forgotten!), then that'll do.

She doesn't need to be better-organized than the CEO of Papa John's. But I prefer that she isn't a piping hot mess either. I've met way too many of those.

As much as I've fantasized in the past about a doomsday prepper wife that can MacGuyver anything into anything, and teach me her ways, I realize that's not always a realistic goal.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I do. But about “Myself ”
My Dad was verbally abusive and Emotionally Abusive.

He had serious anger issues and would explode and yell at the top of his lungs over some nonsense as my little sis and I were growing up.

He already had a deep thunderous voice in general, you can only imagine how bad it was when he lost it.

He would also bully us into submission… and would constantly pick on me for my weight gain. I was absolutely miserable and wanted a way out of that lifestyle. I ultimately wanted to END myself or. END him.

This experience made me want to not be in any relationship with any man whatsoever. It made me absolutely terrified of men in general. It made me look down upon men and their nature.

Do you view it as shameful for a woman to not be strong and independent?

It made me disappointed in my “doormat” of a mother, and I’ve also developed anxiety. Nowadays I’m in a much better place because Dad changed after I left HighSchool. But all the abuse I’m sure is deep ingrained into me, and I should seek mental health assistance for sure. Because to this day I still see men as dangerous even if they haven’t done anything to me. It’s the reason I CARRY and sleep with a weapon.

(It’s the reason I believe it’s SHAMEFUL of me to be NOT BE strong and independent in that sense.)

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

Personally, yeah. But that's not always the case.

I dunno that it'd be necessarily shameful. I would feel shame if it were me, but I wouldn't necessarily shame another person for it.

The exception is if they are choosing not to be strong and independent, and have chosen helplessness and dependence instead, and choose to complain endlessly about their situation. Especially if their partner is doing everything they can to help.

If they're happy not working and being dependent on their partner, that's totally fine. Personally, I don't understand. But I haven't lived a life that lets me be dependent on others. And I don't like being "weak", but I also don't buy into the whole strong-weak dichotomy. Everyone has good days and bad days.

TwinTonyz · Answer

Independence is one of the most-inflated traits currently peddled as a god-like quality. No one is independent in 2022.

I'm reasonably well off, and I'm making myself dependent on one of my neighbors who'd approached and made a reasonably good pitch for handling the yard work at my second house. Could I handle it myself, of course, but it's a fucking drain having to burn 3 hours between commute and work just to keep the yard tidy. Someone would read this, and assert I'm a weaker man, less independent, and therein less-deserving of xyz. That's some degree of shame I could expect from people in general.

Few will say that about a woman in the same position, largely because the societal bar is lower, and the protections available to her more-hyperbolic. It's assumed she'll need help, but that' okay because she's punching up, living in a "man's world". It's just more acceptable to receive help if you have the proper genes.

To be clear, independence is over blown and a bit of a sham, either way, but on the whole, society doesn't care much if women are independent or not.

Whatever2929292 · Answer

NO! In fact I find it really amazing when a woman can do fine on her own and she wants me and needs me. Just for being me. Not only want I can do for her.

I love a woman who does not need to depend on me for EVERYTHING!!! I don't want that kind of relationship. A woman who is both strong and independent has a LOT to offer you.

A woman who is independent but willing to share her life with you is really something special. I would never think that is shameful.

I don't know why anyone would. Even if someone wanted something "traditional" (which does not mean they are not strong or independent) but that does not mean that someone who makes another choice is shameful either just since you would not want to be with her.

This is America. You don't choose if you're born a man or woman you should be able to make your own choices in life and be who GOD wants you to be not man. Or the traditions of MAN... Not saying that all of that is bad either. If that is what someone CHOOSES!!!

If someone chooses to do the roles reversed that is also their choice.

globetrotter22 · Answer

I can’t believe a man posted something like this.

Most western “modern” women who feel the need to go around saying they are “strong and independent” usually have no idea what “strong and independent” really is.

They think emulating the stereotypically worst male characteristics e. g. being loud, being a bully, being promiscuous, being argumentative for the sake of being a pain in the ass is somehow “strong and independent.”

Some of these women use their bodies for monetary gain (IG models, porn, sex word, etc) while claiming that is somehow “strong and independent.” Ah excuse me but literally only 1 out of million guys can make money using their sexuality vs 1 out of 100 women. That is not “equality”.

They also think screaming about sexism and intersectionality to extort benefits and special privileges from the government & corporations is “strong and independent”. They also think using metoo muscle to destroy mens lived with unproven sexual abuse claims is “strong and independent”. Just ask Amber Heard.

No a truly “strong and independent” woman doesn’t feel the need to go around telling everybody about it to fight “patriarchy”. Rather she gains respect through her ACTIONS. She might not make mass media or tik tok headlines. But good men do notice truly strong and independent women and respect them. She doesn’t need attention.

Graci_e · Answer

I think it’s shameful for anyone not to be strong and independent. I find it so weird for anyone of any gender not wanting their independence.

There’s guys I know that I think are weirdos because they’re 17 and haven’t done one hour in a car, therefore have no license.

You should want to be able to stand on you own two feet and not have to rely on anyone. You never what’s gonna happen and what will change. And I sure as hell don’t want to be 24 and still relying on my parents for everything.

Oigit · Answer

Outside of having a medical issue that prevents her from being both, yes. The same goes for men as well. To me one of the main issues with America is that a lot of people are weak and unwilling to be independent. People are also very quick to offer up a excuse as to why they are both and not willing to put in any kind of work to improve themselves.

I was kidnapped and molested as a kid. Raised by a single mother with two kids that has had cancer since her teens. Also through the years I have seen and been through even more screwed up crap. I knew that all of it left me with some serious issues that where causing issues in my life and holding me back. So I threw myself head first into therapy and spent 2+ years working through it. So I have no time for peoples pity party and don't associate who are not strong enough to get the help they know they need.

Almost29M · Answer

Just keep it within reason. I've dated a few women who were neither and one in particular got to be too exhausting. She relied on me for so much that she became incapable of handling the smallest task without asking me for help.

She would send me every email or text she planned on sending someone so that I could proofread and rewrite it. She was a college student with a scholarship and English was her 1st language but her confidence was so low that she wanted me to speak for her because she was so afraid to say the wrong thing.

crossdressingrihno · Answer

I almost was but I didn't get catfished.

Keep in mind during this time I was a minor.

So there was this a girl I met online we actually lived fairly nearby and we talked for a bit and she asked if we could meet up keep in mind we never discussed ages up until this point well anyways she lied about her age but I kind of picked up on that turns out she was about 4 years younger than me. Again the catfishing was unsuccessful but still. I was about 16 at the time I think I don't remember I was either 16 or 15

Anonymous · Answer

I guess it depends on how you define 'strong and independent'. Sometimes I think women who choose to be stay at home moms get a bad rap for depending too much on a man, but I think that's kind of wrong. For some people that arrangement works out really well.
I personally am pretty financially independent in that I have a career independent from my husband that I could still provide for myself with if we ever divorced. However, just because I'm not financially dependent on him per se doesn't mean I don't depend/rely/need him in a lot of other ways because I absolutely do. I am absolutely not one of those women who 'doesn't need a man' because I absolutely do need my husband in so many ways. I don't think that's wrong at all.

leahzrc · Answer

We weren't put on this earth to be strong and independent, we were put on this earth to belong as a society of unlimited circumstances, potential, and possibilities. Strength could be mental or physical. They can coincide. Nobody on this earth is supposed to be anything other than a soul that lives their life to the fullest with whatever strengths or weaknesses that they are gifted and born with.

WizzardGirl · Answer

Its not shameful but later in years it will be more difficult for those who surround you
You will always depend on husband or when older, on your kids
My own aunt is fucking up personal life of my married cousin because she never was independant, she lived with my uncle , never worked
then when divorced she moved and lives with my cousin and won't leave them alone, even grocery store... she follows them everywhere
Its annoying and very egoistical
Me and my boyfriend wanted to invite them to go out and party but i know my aunt will want to go too and its bullshit

Pinay_ako · Answer

Nothing is shameful to be vulnerable for any gender period. Women get bashed for being too independent and not needing a man in their lives. So there should be no shame whatsoever if they’re at their low. We all need help sometimes even men too. They’re always expected to man up. Like what’s supposed to mean? Be strong 💪 and if you fall, get up and try again!

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

Shameful, NO! I think it’s a pity, I think it’s sad, I know that it hurts my soul to see women who are not strong and independent. But it is a woman’s right to be weak and completely dependent on a man, just as it’s her right to be strong and independent!

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t think so but I’d say they need to find people who encourage them to be their own person. Some people grow up “shy” or are “made” shy and often struggle with social anxiety, but if they’re willing to they can certainly get out of that mindset and start becoming independent and doing more things for themselves instead of having others do things for them. I say this because I struggle with social anxiety and find it hard to do certain things on my own, but I’ve been getting better at it. You just have to REALLY want that change.

Man-O-Metal · Answer

It's fine to be strong and independent. Just don't let that give you a big head and tell everyone because nobody cares. It's always the girls that say "I am strong and independent" that never get guys because 1. Guys don't want to mess with that attitude and 2. Pretty soon she will start chasing after dudes because she's still a woman and needs personal attention.

There are many nice girls that are SAA, but are humble about it. That's what's really attractive.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

No it’s not shameful.

everyone is different.

same with guys, it’s not shameful if a guy is not strong and independent.

not everyone is, some are, some are not.

We should not shame those who are not, we should actually where possible support them (both genders).

For example of you have a friend who is not strong and independent, then their other friends should support them and where possible help.

far too much shaming goes on in the world for everyone.

whirled_up_girl · Answer

I'm not sure what the definition is here for strong and independent. For instance I am finanically independent, I work as a registered nurse and I can support myself. I consider myself strong because I am able to handle obstacles that I've dealt with personally and professionally. I don't do anything that I find shameful, unless you have a different definition than me perhaps.

Sixgunsound · Answer

Why would that be shameful? Who are you or me or anyone to define what women should or shouldn’t be? If women can be anything they want to be, what does shame of that choice even mean anymore? Why can’t a woman in a relationship still be strong? Are married women ‘weak’? I’ll be the first to raise the BS flag on married women being weak.

Sugar100 · Answer

We’ll don’t we all have to be independent? We can’t live forever with parents and have them take care of us. Some have a job that moved to another state and they are move out there alone live alone no family. Or your family don’t own a home or divorced and you have to live alone be independent to take care of yourself.

shaysh87 · Answer

its rare to find a modern woman nowadays who wants to be financially dependent on a man. Usually if she does , she is either a gold digger or a lazy leech who does not want to work. Nothing but the truth

Table4YTwo · Answer

Women want equality give them equality they need to take care of themselves.

That means no more relying on their partner they need to be self reliant, self sufficient and their relationships are now having them put in the work.

I want to see women do the approaching.
I want them to pay their own bills
I want them to buy gifts on their own for their partner
I want them to be able to fight for themselves without having us back them up

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t think it’s shameful, but there should be a limit. I personally work and take care of myself, but I also like the idea of being taken care of by a man once I’m married. It’s nice when a man protects and provides for his woman. It makes me feel more safe and feminine. And it makes me want to take care of him in other ways as well.

Anonymous · Answer

Can't say I've ever particularly cared about this.

Also, "strong and independent" usually means "disagreeable, loud and entitled."

Kinda like "curvy" or "thicc" usually means "morbidly obese."

Or (going back another generation) "she has a great personality" means "she's so ugly even her mom turns the other way."

You gotta be able to read between the lines these days. . .

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Yes. Listen, the reality of this life and nature that once you become an adult you have to learn how to live life as an adult.

Childhood is over. If a woman is weak, lazy and stupid and constantly looking to be dependent on someone she has failed adulthood.

BIG MISTAKE TO LIVE LIFE DEPENDENT OF SOMEONE ELSE AS AN ADULT.

Wanna learn the hard way then go ahead. 🤷‍♂️

Kaneki05 · Answer

It's not shameful just more sad. Since one is who is not, will become a victim to many things.
And I would rather be friends or date someone who has more willpower than less. Because there is a ton of benefits to a person with a strong willpower.

Anonymous · Answer

"I am a strong and independent man"... said no man ever. Why, because it's kind of like saying "I know how to wipe my own ass".

Do men like women who know how to be adults (and wipe their own asses)? Sure. Do they like so called "strong and independent women"? Not so much.

Anonymous · Answer

No, not at all.

First, being "strong and independent" is something women value in men, but the reverse is not really true. The things men value in women are very different.

Second, I have yet to meet a women who was a self-proclaimed "strong and independent woman" whose personality I could tolerate for more than 5 minutes.

DrewJay · Answer

No we all go through periods in our lives when we need the help and understanding as well as love from the people she loves and those people love her back.

Kumarima · Answer

EI don't think anything, because I don't care. If you want to be submissive, then so be it. I have my own problems to solve and I don't care about other women's choices.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

No. There's nothing wrong with being independent and strong either, but there is something wrong when a woman has a terrible attitude and big ego about her self.

Nothing wrong with a woman wanting to depend on a man to provide and protect.

Mitt15 · Answer

No it's not shameful , it's just they might be introvert and less courageous , but they might have good fantastic ideas. It might change when they have trusted people and good environment around them.

mark000h · Answer

"Strong and independent woman" nowadays is code for entitled feminist cun4.

Snsl153 · Answer

I don't think of myself as being "strong and independent"; I actually don't really care all that much.

Stoner710 · Answer

No women can be strong and independent my main issue is with abortion I think women can be strong and independent and raise children at the same time.

McKellar · Answer

Nope, can't say I do. If there are women who can manage in life without any support,... all the power to them. If they're living with someone or they are dependent on someone, there is or is not an excuse with that. That can always depend.

alina112 · Answer

For predators and insecure men a dependent woman is great source to fuel their fragile egos

Wild_princess · Answer

No it is not but a woman must be strong and independent... this world is cruel... and only the strong can survive

SaidNobodyEver · Answer

It’s the 21st century. Women can be almost anything they want and not be wrong. The Johnny Depp trial was probably the first time a woman got that publicly roasted for being wrong in this century 😂

clampfan101 · Answer

She can be as much as she wants. Everyone need some level of strength and independence of course, but they don’t need to shine above the rest in such regards.

Freyke · Answer

I don't think it's shameful if you are not this way. But I think it's shameful if you choose to be weak.

grega239 · Answer

Ill go with yes. Its "the current year" women have absolutely no excuse to be reliant on a man in any shape or form. Welcome to equality ladies.

notwoke · Answer

As soon as hear "strong woman" I run the other way. This is a synonym for either super bitchy, super fat, super disagreeable or super ugly or some combination of these.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

No, independance is a trap, strength is in numbers.

fonduegirl · Answer

It depends. But mostly, I believe a woman can be anything she puts her mind to.

GreatnessBack · Answer

It's shameful that no one uses definitions anymore. lol. How do you define strong and independent?

more_than_a_guy · Answer

Depends, it's a scale. I do like a woman who can rely on me sometime, but not too much, and I want her to be able to manage things herself too, a degree on independence.

Texaskid1 · Answer

There is no such thing as a strong and independent woman.

Anonymous · Answer

No. But she better be if she doesn't want to marry a wife-beating cheater, who controls her financially. There are too many hostiles seeking to harm us all.

Xoirwinkan · Answer

Being 'strong and independent' is not what most girls have an inclination for. That's what feminists want, not normal girls.

GrapeApe98 · Answer

No. Being an asshole or willfully stupid is something to be ashamed of. As long as you have a good heart you're cool.

Lunatic1 · Answer

Not at all, everyone is different. Some people love the spotlight, while others prefer to be background players.

jahaims · Answer

Shameful no. Every adult should strive to be strong and independent

baserunner611 · Answer

No, but make up her own mind, not mom say girl miss that bullet

Pudsmucker · Answer

I view that a good woman can be independent, and beautiful

Shyfemguy · Answer

I'm a guy and I'm not strong or independent so it's okay.

Fuentes · Answer

I do not expect women to be strong or independent unless they're forced too

EnglishEuropean · Answer

No, because they could have a congenital disorder. They can't be blamed for that.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Substitute "strong and independent" for "loud, obnoxious, mean, and slutty".

PatriceONeal · Answer

It's not in their nature. They are forcing it and it's hurting them.

007kingifrit · Answer

i don't think healthy people want to be independent, i think they want to depend on eachother

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Not necessarily. Everyone depends on others to some extent. That doesn’t mean financially per se, but no person is an island.

Do you view it as shameful for a woman to not be strong and independent?

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