If you were pursuing a chick over a period of time, and she bought a single friend around to try and set you up with… would you be offended?

Question

I’m not gonna elaborate on this one

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

That's fine, and it would be a wake up call, though tbh I doubt I would have been so obliviously emotionally unintelligent to not pick up "over a period of time" that this chick wasn't into me, and therefore I would have stopped pursuing her a long time ago. Maybe it's just my personal fetish, but I like consent, and so therefore chicks that aren't into me, turn me off.

If you were pursuing a chick over a period of time, and she bought a single friend around to try and set you up with… would you be offended?

If she was trying to hook me up with her friend, that'd be fine. Actually, I kind of had this happen to me. I have a friend whom I found attractive, I think she was dating someone monogamously, though. Or maybe she just broke up with him, but regardless, we've had kind of an ambiguous energy between us. I think she's beautiful and just a lovely person, but she also gives me some vibes like she would want more time and energy out of a partnership than I'm willing to lock into. Anyway, she set me up with a friend of hers, who was a nice lady, we went out a few times and messed around, but in the end it wasn't what we were looking for. Still friendly with both of them, no hard feelings anywhere.

ZackBan · Accepted Answer

I tend to go for what I want very fast.
By the time she's setting me up with a friend it means she is not intersting.
I won't be offended and based on my attracted to the friend I might give it a shot.

That being said I know that most times a woman desire a man who is desired by others so her friend liking me might lead her to decide she does too.

Depending on how fast she comes to the conclusion she either takes me back from her friend or end up joining in for a threesome 😏

ZainabAli123 · Accepted Answer

As a female I have a lot to say about this one firstly we don’t need to address any girl as ugly we are all good looking and beautiful in our own ways if you guys don’t see that then you all clearly have your own issues and that could be the reason why you are struggling with females. Secondly you pursuing her if you are doing that and she’s bringing her single friend along it’s probably because she’s told her single friend about you who’s now interested in you but that doesn’t mean the girl you are pursuing likes you back it’s a clear sign that she is NOT interested in you other wise she would have gotten the message. Females (no one is denying this) we are stupid and sometimes can’t read even the simplest of signs so maybe you should just be forward with her and tell her but if she’s bringing a friend along then it’s obvs she’s reacognised your interested but she’s not. Just move on from it and STOP giving females such a bad name over it half these replies are awful

fonduegirl · Accepted Answer

I'm not that idiotic. Somebody is trying to set me up, why refuse? I'm certainly not doing a good job at finding me one.

coachTanthony · Answer

Why are all these guys offended? They obviously aren't doing a good job at pursuing or showing interest for the girl to try and set them up. Take it as a show of non interest on her part and get to know the girl she is bringing around. Men need to learn to adapt not get all butt hurt over some chick.

Kabluie · Answer

This first happened in high school. Chrissy in my senior year, we'd hang out casually. It was one of those you been friends a long time so the idea of moving to a relationship wasn't natural to me. But we've known each other since elementary school, and dated different people. An idea hit my head we could probably move into dating when I found out she was applying to most of the same universities as I.

So we'd hang out more. She would mention this close friend of hers rather often, which turns out she was being home schooled. Eventually we could all hang out I'd get to finally meet this friend. She was cute at first sight, bit shy but I liked her. So we got to exchange numbers and IMs and talk 1:1 without Chrissy involved. We talked everyday, had our first date a week later, and evolved into a serious relationship.

Chrissy eventually told me she asked her if it was okay to date me, she said yes but secretly got jealous over time. Probably because we took time away from her :)

Pinay_ako · Answer

If I was the man, it means the girl I want doesn’t want me because she’s playing match make with her friend instead. At first, I’d feel offended but if her friend and I click and I feel some attraction towards her, I’d thank the first chick.

I have done this to a male coworker. He was pursuing me but I told him im not interested to be more than just friends although I was very much single. I introduced him to my close friend. Two years later, they married and now have two kids. Best decision ever ❤️

Qdbrown · Answer

Some things to unwrap here. If a man is pursuing a woman with little interest, and stays in the Friendzone just for the hope she changes her mind is a bad place to be and a waste of time. It's a bad investment.

It says that the man feels like he stuck in a place where he can't simply find. better and is obsessed with the woman who is clearly not into him. There is big difference between not interested and hard to get.

The sad part is, he is in a different headspace and is quietly taking what he can get, than going after a girl worth chasing. He seriously thinks she is waiting for him while she is seeing another guy, or on the make. He seriously thinks she is just confused and one day she will realize what kind of catch she has before her.

There are millions of women out there, yet he is stuck on one woman who is going to only call him if she needs something or just wants to talk endlessly about stuff that is one-sided.

Moose304 · Answer

In most of these cases, the man is the low point of a love triangle. The reason I say love triangle is because you know her enough she is trying to set you up. This will wound a man's pride, but they will get over it. A love triangle is also something a man should be VERY careful about. I know several examples of where a female in one gets rejected and accepts the other man she was not interested in. Then dumps him later when either the other man contacts her, or she finds another man in general. I tell men all the time. If she is not interested, move on!

globetrotter22 · Answer

It might seem altruistic but it’s also can come off as insulting. He was pursuing her for a reason. Different story if she was already taken though.

A twisted irony would be if the guy ended up dating her friend, they fall in love and the original girl ultimately feels regret and jealousy.

Anyway I don’t “pursue” women anymore nowadays. I am well aware that some women feel no guilt taking advantage of a guys effort, time and patience just to get their egos stroked. They won’t outright reject but instead play games in these scenarios.

So I got a three strikes and their out policy. If they flake, passively reject or “play dumb” (friéndzone) in three different incidents I cut them off. I had to do this three weeks ago and I have no regrets. It’s about self respect.

Hrumf · Answer

Did she know you were pursuing her?

If she did know you have been pursuing her and she did this, then I would be a little hurt. Maybe a little offended.

If she doesn’t know you have been pursuing her and she sees you as a good friend, then I wouldn’t be offended. She genuinely thinks you would hit it off with her friend and is trying to help both of you find happiness.

19magic · Answer

Tbh it depends why and if he told me first, if we hung out and he said Id like you to meet a friend of mine then sure. If I thought I was going on a date with the guy and he suddenly turns up with another due then I'll check out the second guy but would also feel annoyed and a little peed off about it.

loveslongnails · Answer

Well Witty, your Freudian slip says "she BOUGHT a single friend around...", so she bought me a hooker? Cool. Or maybe you mean she "brought a single friend around", in which case, I hope the friend is hotter than she is!

Wyldsparrow · Answer

As a female, I think it's important for men/women to be transparent about their feelings. If she is genuinely interested in you she wouldn't have tried setting you up with the other woman. Women sometimes need a nudge. I was being hit on yesterday by a man at the grocery store and didn't realize he was coming onto me until he asked me for my number lol 🤣 so yes, we can be oblivious at times and need for people to speak their minds as we aren't mind readers. 🥂🌼

abc3643 · Answer

Ironically, something like this - but sort of backwards - happened with me and my first girlfriend in 1979-1980.

Anonymous · Answer

I mean I wouldn’t mind being a Slave Owner but I mean the cost wouldn’t be Worth the happiness owning a slave.
That’s the whole reason White people Were ounce slave owners
Black people were just the perfect slave both from a social aspect and a genetic aspect.
black people Carries more melanin therefor getting burned out in the sun wasn’t going easily happen
And white people would burn 🔥 like When you cook A burger on the grill.
It goes against my Principles to own a slave but if the person was willing to be my slave and both personal and legal consent was Written that guaranteed my Protection and the slave was guaranteed constitutional rights and a Decent pay and Ability to purchase and Sell I wouldn’t want the slave to feel like a slave
That’s the only way I’d be willing to own a slave.

Novacane · Answer

I won't be offended, if anything I would appreciate it a bit because they obviously thought about me telling a friend and that is also assuming that the friend might know something about me from what the initial girl might have told her and made her interested. So, she is giving me a fighting chance for a relationship that I would love. Also, I am the kind of person that will not pursue a girl for that long. Once I know that they are not interested then I would eventually stop pursuing.

VIVANT · Answer

I’d be offended but I’d also understand like she’s not into me and was just trying to be nice about it and if I liked the other person then cook 🤷🏻‍♀️

Smoothing · Answer

I think it is obvious that most guys would get offended especially when the chick new that the guy liked him. It is best to tell the guy you don't like him that way and let it be. Don't try to set him up. It is insulting.

If the guy was not pursuing you, then yeah by all means set up with one of your mates. But if he is pursuing you. Don't dare set him up.

QuietVerbena · Answer

I think most guys would be disappointed but not offended

libsaretards · Answer

It depends. If she was honest and told me she was not interested in me but knows someone who would be, then I would be fine with it. However, if it came off as a sneaky way to brush me off I would be pissed.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, it happened to me and it sucks. Just tell me honestly that you are not interested and I will never bother you. Don't try to set guys with hookers or random girls if they didn't ask for it. Not all guys are like , as long as there is a hole I will try to screw it.

Quigly · Answer

It would make me realize the girl is was pursuing is very manipulative, insecure coward that can't be straight up with someone.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

I would be on a date with intention to meet and be with her, not given the switcheroo at the eleventh hour for someone I don't even know.

genericname85 · Answer

no. that's sweet but if i'm crushing on a girl, i won't just be interested in someone else. that just doesn't work like that for me.

Adam1978 · Answer

No but it's certainly a rejection. If someone should be offended it's her friend. Because if I am not good enough for her why would I be good enough for her friend? Ie it's means she sees herself as better than her friend.

Flower7 · Answer

As a chick, I’d be offended if a guy did this to me.

NathanDavis · Answer

not good to buy people... people should not be property

Surely · Answer

Apparently you would have just found yourself in the friend zone! It would be apparent that she didn’t have the same feelings for you. Better to know sooner than later!

slatyb · Answer

That seems a clear message - I'm not interested.

SoftCliff · Answer

If a guy I was interested in, did that Yeah, I would.. I don't do setups. They're terrible, forced, and not organic in any way. I’d rather be single than settle for someone I'm not into

MikeInHawaii · Answer

Does the girl she’s setting me up with look more like Roseanne Barr or Selena Gomez? This could effect my answer?

kangy · Answer

If I were the guy I would feel sad and disappointed. It means the girl don't like me. Offended because she is nosey and try to set the guy up with another person.

yourpalval · Answer

Gonna admit I did this once, and regretted it because that's rude to do without directly and politely rejecting first, like it's supposed to be a strong hint but guys deserve honesty

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Probably. Maybe i’m too guarded, but everyone who has tried to set me up missed the mark by a lot. A LOT! Ell oh ell!

hahahmm · Answer

Nope. But it's highly unlikely that you know better than the guy what he wants so he could probably find a better match without your help.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I would be annoyed, I guess. Lol. Just for the irony of it all. But no, I would not be offended.

Xtendable · Answer

I’d feel a bit blocked. Not really what I wanted

Anonymous · Answer

If it was reversed, would you be? I don't know about "offended", but my interest is in YOU, not someone else. So if it's REAL and genuine interest, someone else isn't an option you know?

BoobMan · Answer

This sounds like a fascinating story, WM! To honestly answer your question though, you need to provide one VERY important detail--how hot is this "single friend?"

Alcoholic_Wannabe · Answer

No shit I'd be offended. Just straight up reject me.

Kelly6 · Answer

I’m lady who did this in past and guys like it

Fuentes · Answer

Nah if her friends bad im gonna smash her friend and I know her friends gonna tell her all about me and that chick who passed me off, is gonna want me now and then I'm gonna smash her and dip on them both.

exitseven · Answer

Once there was a girl that I really liked and one day she fixed me up with her cousin. Her cousin seemed nice so I just went with it.

Anonymous · Answer

Nah I don't trip off puhcee  I'll double back to her after I smash or maybe not there tons of women

Juxtapose · Answer

I don't think I would be stupid enough to chase a woman that long but if it came to that point I would be both offended and grateful for the wake up call.

Mangospacho · Answer

I would take the hint she’s not interested but it’s not a bad way to let someone down by offering an alternative. Who knows, sometimes these setups can turn into long term relationships.

IsoUser · Answer

To be perfectly honest I wouldn't be offended, I would be honored

macjets007 · Answer

I definitely would be. It means she has no interest in me if that were the case lol At least I would get to talk to her friend, but that is really heart breaking. It's instant rejection.

Waldoe · Answer

disappointed, but I would get the message... and move on

NovaCourier · Answer

Not offended, but I would absolutely refuse to be set up with another girl.

Fireguy17 · Answer

It would be nice to have someone actually interested in me.

BungusHighFivePizza · Answer

how does new chick look like

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Offended, no, but it would indicate she has no interest in me.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Depends if she was a good match. If she's like older or uglier or skankier than the first girl id be highly offended. If she was just as good or better id be happy about it.

TallAnon · Answer

100% depends how hot the girl is. If she's ugly, it's like a.. This is the limit of what you can get, go try her instead.

msc545 · Answer

I would never pursue anyone for more than 2 minutes at most so that would leave little time for what you are suggesting might happen.

Anonymous · Answer

Voted already! IF she is hotter then her - then god bless her If she is not - A Big FO to both of them! :P

Anonymous · Answer

I would be stoked if the girl was hot i was expecting to have a threesome

StickStickity13 · Answer

Shit, if the friend was better I'd be thankful

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

I would do this and at times I've encouraged them to get back with their exes lol

Anonymous · Answer

I would try my luck. Pretty much First come, first taken. In the sense of being in a relationship.

Gloree · Answer

Girls do that when they are not interested in you.

maximumpower · Answer

would only be disappointed if the friend were ugly, stupid or otherwise unattractive.

If you were pursuing a chick over a period of time, and she bought a single friend around to try and set you up with… would you be offended?

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