Why do exes downgrade?

[munky89]

Why do ex;s downgrade. I broke up with my ex and she is with someone else after a month. But this guy is totally different from me. He is fat, bald, dresses terribly. And I know has nothing to do with personality because my ex said I treated her very good and she didn't want me to leave her. So why did she downgrade?

[Anonymous]

Maybe the break-up affected her self-esteem and she feels she can't do any better.

I am going through the opposite right now, I downgraded my standards with my last boyfriend because I thought he seemed really nice, boy was I wrong. Now, my standards are even higher and I am having very good luck meeting hot guys who are interested. I didn't even know I could get guys this hot. Lucky me.

I think when you broke up with her, it may have hurt her really badly and now she is in a rebound relationship with the first guy to come along or she doesn't believe she can do any better.

[munky89]

she did tell me she has self esteem issues

[Opinion Owner]

So she answered your question already. Don't feel bad, there is nothing you could have done, she has to figure this out on her own.

[munky89]

yeah and after she told me she doesn't care about her selft. But somepeople think she is a drama queen

[katley]

I think looks are decieving...sometimes the most opposite can make you very happy. Maybe she's not wearing rose colored glasses. If she's happy who's to say it's a downgrade because he is a certain way. As long as her needs are met and he respects her. Maybe you need not worry about it : )

[munky89]

yeah but what I find weird was she was flaunting it in me and my sis face...i felt like telling her look honey he fat, bald, and a farmer. But that her immaturity

[katley]

Well then it doesn't sound like it's a downgrade if she is "flaunting" it to you and your sister. She's fine and happy with it...and yes she's okay with it. And you seem to be okay too. Right? : )

[Keats]

Sadly there's no real knowledge for this, by saying down-grade you sound like you're putting yourself up on a pedestal of comparison.

If you say she didn't want you to leave it sounds like you chose to end things from that, but that's just an assumption. Possibly he is a rebound because she doesn't want to feel alone but then again you don't know him either.

Quite possibly he could be a very different person to how he appears

[munky89]

which is very true. He might be a nice guy. But my ex dated guys like these before and all of them cheated on her. Not saying he will butttt

[Belgie]

He gives her something you didn't.

Perhaps security? She knows he won't leave her?

In my experience, people who think their exes downgrade, just have warped value systems, and don't understand that other people can evaluate things differently.

[munky89]

no bud I don't ahve warped value system. I treated my ex like a queen. I mean I was going to pay her entire debt off. And it wasn't cheap. I know my values and I'm saying that in a confident way. Yes this guy might be nice like me I'm not saying that. But every time my ex was in a relationship with these kind of people, These meaning there counrty people. They always cheated on her. Or rather go out with another girl.

[munky89]

i just don't understand how come people go from one spectrum to the next.

[Belgie]

Nevertheless, he's clearly giving her something that you couldn't.

Maybe she didn't want to be put on a pedastal, and didn't want you to come along and pay off all her debts. Maybe that made her feel like you were "buying" her.

Women have a very different way of viewing things than guys do.

She's getting something from them, that she didn't get from you.

[munky89]

which is a possibility. I didn't pay her debt I offered her to. but we will see what happens. thxs for your advice :)

[InquisitiveMale]

It's just a rebound. She wants someone who's going to comfort and pamper her in a rough time. What person will do that better then someone who has you but doesn't feel they deserve you...

[dudeman]

maybe he's intelligent

[Anonymous]

She doesn't think she deserves any better.