Last year this girl and I met on a dating site, and we were talking for a few months. She very obviously did not trust men, and made that very apparent to me. Which is completely understandable, it didn’t bother me and I was patient and let her set the ground rules so she felt safe.
One day she asked if I wanted to meet up, She told me that she wanted to meet in a public place to feel safe, so she suggested the park. I agreed, and about an hour before she said she no longer felt comfortable and asked to reschedule to the next week. I said that was fine and we would move at her pace. Another week passes and she asked me out again, and the same thing happened. I said the same thing.
Eventually she stopped responding. I figured she ghosted me and I moved on. After a week, I get a text saying “hey John, are we still good to meet tomorrow?” And I said “Sorry I didn’t realize we had made plans, I am up for it though!” And she said “sorry, I accidentally texted you, my coworker is also named John and we were gunna meet to go over work! How have you been?” She had already told me about John, and saying how she would occasionally mix us up because we were the only two John’s she knew.
I responded saying that I thought you had ghosted me since I hadn’t heard from you for a week, I don’t appreciate being strung along. I had already moved on. And she said I don’t owe you anything, and continued on implying that I was just trying to get something out of her, proving her point about men.
I said that she is right she doesn’t owe me anything, and I am not expecting anything. But you were the one who asked me out twice and then cancelled twice and then ghosted me for a week and “accidentally” texted me a week later about meeting up. I just want to be respected.
And then she blocked me on everything. Was I out of line for basically giving her an ultimatum? I knew it was over, I was more trying to prove a point that you shouldn’t treat people like that.
One day she asked if I wanted to meet up, She told me that she wanted to meet in a public place to feel safe, so she suggested the park. I agreed, and about an hour before she said she no longer felt comfortable and asked to reschedule to the next week. I said that was fine and we would move at her pace. Another week passes and she asked me out again, and the same thing happened. I said the same thing.
Eventually she stopped responding. I figured she ghosted me and I moved on. After a week, I get a text saying “hey John, are we still good to meet tomorrow?” And I said “Sorry I didn’t realize we had made plans, I am up for it though!” And she said “sorry, I accidentally texted you, my coworker is also named John and we were gunna meet to go over work! How have you been?” She had already told me about John, and saying how she would occasionally mix us up because we were the only two John’s she knew.
I responded saying that I thought you had ghosted me since I hadn’t heard from you for a week, I don’t appreciate being strung along. I had already moved on. And she said I don’t owe you anything, and continued on implying that I was just trying to get something out of her, proving her point about men.
I said that she is right she doesn’t owe me anything, and I am not expecting anything. But you were the one who asked me out twice and then cancelled twice and then ghosted me for a week and “accidentally” texted me a week later about meeting up. I just want to be respected.
And then she blocked me on everything. Was I out of line for basically giving her an ultimatum? I knew it was over, I was more trying to prove a point that you shouldn’t treat people like that.
Updates
1 y
I have just been feeling guilty and second guessing myself that I really did cross a line and that I was trying to control her or force her to do something she didn’t want to do, which is what she was accusing me of doing.
Updates
1 y
A lot of the reason she said she felt unsafe was because I am 6’3” and she felt like she would have no power in the relationship and felt intimidated by me. Which made me self conscious, that someone would think I would assault them just because I was bigger. I have always been very aware of how my height can intimidate others, and I don’t like it.
