Hi, so I was visiting my home country, met a bartender, we spoke for about five minutes and she asked me for my FB. I gave her it and the day after she said I should come over to the bar. She finished working and went for drinks and had a fun time. Nothing happened because I was hesitant since I heard she might have a boyfriend. She came home and sent me a good night gif. The day after she texted me "coffee tomorrow?" and I agreed. We went for a coffee. We spent over an hour chatting. Two days later, knowing I was leaving in a couple of days I texted her and asked to meet up for drinks. We did and had a fun time. I traveled back home and we've been texting every day since. She texted me "it's such a shame you're not here :(" and even watched one of my YouTube videos with one of her friends and texted me "it's great to see you even if it's just in a video" with that doggy eyes emoji.
She's been sending good night gifs, have a good day gif, hasn't talked about her boyfriend, she started sending me voice messages talking about her day, sent me selfies, pics of different things. Then three days ago we texted a lot, her replies and messages were long as usual and then... she stopped. One whole day later she eventually replied so I replied to that and... she stopped again. It's been another whole day and she's been online many times since.
I've been very careful this time around, haven't been overtexting or being needy or anything like that. Just flirty and fun convos. I already told her I was going back in three months time, so she knows that as well.
Has she lost interest? Or become this distant? I've been through a similar situation before, however the way this girl texted, initiated, communicated with me was different and far more like a girl who has a crush and now suddenly she stopped. What's also worth noting is that she started being distant on the day she seemed super interested.
Girls PLEASE tell me what I should do and what's going on here?
I could be wrong, but this situation just sounds like a lot of effort on her part to initiate and not much on yours. Over time that just gets tiring, and that may be the plateau she’s in now. Maybe you were worried about messing up or doing too much, but I always advise people to come as your AUTHENTIC self, and not a watered down or altered version you are portraying in order to protect yourself in one way or another, because playing a role will be what messes you up! If your love language is frequent texts, calls, etc then be that person!
No it won’t work for every woman but it will for the right one and that’s what you want. So maybe you should reach out, chat with her and do your part to engage. If she’s still distant then maybe she thought better of pursuing you now that you’re away, maybe she doesn’t want long distance, there’s numerous outcomes here. But your takeaway if it doesn’t work with her is at least you genuinely tried.
Ok but I thought I was showing her interest? I replied to every text, I initiated as well, I replied to her "it's nice seeing you even if its in a video" with a "I'd loved spending time with you too" etc. I've tried to show her I care by complimenting her on her achievements.
I don't know what to do exactly. I mean, I read it as "give me space" so I don't know what to do.
That’s why I mentioned that I could be wrong, because from what you said, it seemed like she was the one initiating a lot. Like you offered to grab drinks but everything else seems like her initiative. So if you were in fact doing your part, and it just wasn’t stated in your initial post, then it’s a good chance that she may be thinking better of the situation. Or at least reconsidering how much of herself she invests. This revelation has absolutely nothing to do with you or how much she likes you, because she could have a lot of feelings! But long distance truly is not built for everyone, and that may be the case for her. You are more than welcome to keep relaying interest IF she is responsive. But if things get to a point that you genuinely feel she’s disinterested, then don’t hesitate to ask her plain and simple. It’s better to know where her head is at rather than invest more time.