Is it normal for a girlfriend to never try to look god for her boyfriend? (She always dressed like a slob and never made an attempt to look good)?

[exitseven]

this question was inspired by @xJayleenx. She never got dressed up for me in 4 years. Once she showed up at the Airport when I came to visit wearing a hoodie covered in plaster dust. i still wonder about this.

[sage2021]

When I had boyfriend's or a date, I always dressed very nice for him - usually a 👗 dress and heels 👠. And I always took a shower and put on something that smelled clean and fresh.

But I see now a days people going to church or funerals wearing clothes like they're going to the store.

Women have been wearing those black leggings for more than 20 years now. They live in them it seems. They wear them to bed with a 👕 t-shirt and roll out of bed dressed and ready for the day. Two each their own I guess.

[midnightmoon05]

It’s not normal.
it’s only normal if that’s how the relationship started. And both are the same.
I don’t like to get dress up all the time. Tomorrow is going to be rainy and yucky…so I am dressing down.
But I do like to dress well, presentable for the right occasions.
I enjoy going out on date nights. I also like my man put in some effort to look nice when we go out to nice places/restaurants. We compliment each other with the way we put our outfits together.

[exitseven]

Neither one of us ever really dressed up but suddenly it was obvious that she really cared so little about our relationship that she could not be bothered to get cleaned up and get to the airport on time to pick me up.

[midnightmoon05]

You were smart to see the signs. Dodged a bullet there.

[exitseven]

@midnightmoon05 I really loved this girl and just overlooked all her shortcomings. All of a sudden I did not see her the same way that I did.

[midnightmoon05]

I think we all learned respect by certain age. We can accept a lot from others. But at some point, we k ow something is not right, and we have to make a choice. You made the right choice 😊

[RobT312]

Interesting question. On one hand you want someone to be themselves. If they don’t care about their physical appearance and are very casual, then it’s something that doesn’t matter to them and they are being themselves. However on the other hand, in a relationship, you have to think beyond that. You have to work at at a relationship and sometimes you have to do things for others, and looking good should be one of them. So I guess yeah…. she should have put in some effort for you

[msc545]

Kind of inappropriate and very passive-aggressive.

[exitseven]

Really? So you think that there may have been more to this,

[msc545]

It conveys, in a passive way, contempt and anger at the guy.

[exitseven]

@msc545 It always seemed that I was really not that important to her. I broke up with her because I knew she would never change. I always laughed at people who would stay in a bad relationship because they thought the other person would change. It took me months before I decided I would break up with her.

[msc545]

I understand - I've done the same thing hoping things would get better (they got worse) or that I could change her (I could not). I think the unwarranted persistence we both experienced was more related to addiction to sex hormones in our own bodies than anything else.

[exitseven]

yes, and also I had so much time invested in this relationship it was hard to walk away from it.

[msc545]

Exactly - there is that sunk time cost that got to me too, but I think more than anything it was my arrogance in believing I could fix all the problems. That was a very painful lesson to learn.

[exitseven]

yes, I am a fixer too.

[msc545]

I do it professionally. I learned the hard way that trying to do it in my personal life is a huge mistake.

[msc545]

Thanks for mho

[TrueConfection]

Depends on if he is a slob too.

Was she working with plaster until the last minute or was it yesterday's hoodie? Taking time for a shower and clean clothes would have been kind.

[exitseven]

She was working on a plaster project but she showed up at the airport coveted in plaster with her hair in some weird perm combed over to the side. We lived 1500 miles apart and only saw each other two or three times a year. It was always a big deal when she would come out to see me. It would be all I could think about That day she tells me she almost forgot to get me.

[TrueConfection]

Sounds like she wasn't worth your effort! Her loss.

[exitseven]

The truth is that at that moment in time my feelings for her changed I did not see her the same way. I tried to ignore it but all I could think was that when people are dating they are on their best behavior and what would she be like if we got married. A few months later I called her late one Saturday night after the rates went down and broke up with her over the phone. She said that we should just get married

[TrueConfection]

In hind sight, do you still feel the same way?

I think outs important to start with high standards of eachother. As you have been married longer than I, you might agree that our standards get lower over the years. 😒

[sage2021]

@exitseven if you two got married, you'd be sleeping with a woman wearing black leggings and an old t-shirt. Glad you broke it off with her. She'd probably keep a dirty house too. 👎

[exitseven]

@sage2021 she used to keep her pile of laundry on the bed instead of hanging it up

[TrueConfection]

Yuck

[Lliam]

Sounds like she's just a natural slob. Doesn't give a fuck. Feels uncomfortable looking feminine. Might be uncomfortable BEING feminine.

[exitseven]

Yes. It has been many years ago but it is something that still bothers me.

[NathanDavis]

I would have asked in the very first day... would have not waited four years... lol

of course, I would inquire about it a thoughtful way, not a condescending one

people with depression do these things sometimes, so to me... it is always best to make sure they are "doing alright" just in case

[Pleaznhim4me]

No. It’s not. People should try to look good every day for themselves. People should also try to communicate better with each other and try to be kinder people. People are usually disappointing. Try to be a kind person, date kind people and hang around kind people.

[Bethany22]

I think I had replied to her question as well. I have the same response for you. If you are naturally someone who likes dressing up to impress other people, than it's probably more important to you that she looks impressed at what you're wearing than if she wears nice things.

[Sparkie460]

They don't have to get all dolled up but they should look pretty sometimes. It depends on where you were going.

[exitseven]

I just traveled 1500 miles to see her

[Sparkie460]

When was the last time you saw her

[exitseven]

30 years ago

[Sparkie460]

Yeah that would be a little depressing. Maybe she wants you to clean her up. Lol 😆

[Ukrainianbuddafly]

Is there a reason to dress up? Was she made to feel like you just aren't attracted to her? I know those things have effected by effort. If you look past me what am I making the effort for?

[exitseven]

I had just travelled 1500 miles just to see her and we had not seen each other for 6 months. I did not expect her to wear a dress but it would have been nice if she at least took a shower and showed up on time at the airport.

[Ukrainianbuddafly]

Oh yea that I understand

[Cumdripper]

Just say Nigga just put your dick in my ass then you pull it out and cum in my face. Niggas fuck anything my brother friend smoked Sherm and fucked his neighbor dog in the ass that’s one sick ass nigga

[Anonymous]

It shows a lack of respect to some degree, both for herself and her man.

[Fuentes]

I would dump her ngl, cause I bet if she goes out with her friends or to work I bet she dresses up.

[Msputiton]

Depends. You said dressed up.

If she wasn't dressed like she rolled out of bed. That maybe how she felt she looks good

[Aerissa_Jade]

Not normal, not even close. I wonder how she even has a boyfriend looking like that.

[exitseven]

I was with her for 4 years. I look at pictures of her today and wonder just what the heck was going on in my head back then.

[BJP21]

Try taking her to a beauty saloon some time, the people in there can make her feel good about herself. Perhaps maybe she doesn't know how to be beautiful.

[TacosRAwesome]

It's normal if it's her normal. What wouldn't be normal is if she dressed up for everyone else but him.

[Anonymous]

I always try to look amazing and as girly as possible.

[Jamie05rhs]

Nothing wrong with that.

[888theGreat]

I don't think they can ever look like God