I kinda rejected him. Now I feel waves of sadness. Do I miss him or just his attention?

[Kellieee]

I met a guy online. We talked for 2 months. First it was friendship, then we started to flirt lightly, more and more. We were in contact all day, everyday and night.
We met with a group of friends and spend time alone afterwards. He is very generous, has a good heart. Somehow though I didn‘t feel attracted to him. I wish I did so badly. A few things: he was very shy and very nervous and online he seems way more confident than in person. He admitted to being a guy who never makes a first move, he called himself a shy guy. He wanted to know if I‘m shy too so he could assess the situation. I‘m not and usually I like guys who aren‘t either, who act confident and can show me their interest in person. When he asked me if I‘m shy aswell, I admitted that I‘m not.
We continued talking after our meet up but I got a little more unflirty to put some distance because I felt like I only want to be friends with him and I do not want to hurt him. We continued talking every day though and remained happy and friendly. The time frame was two weeks, he also started talking to another girl and I realized that I started to feel uneasy about it. So I decided to talk openly to him about everything. I admitted to him that I feel a bit jealous and that this feeling made me think why, that we never talked openly about the hints we gave each other and I feel like we are somehow more than good friends, but less than love and that I would give it a chance to see but very carefully and without promises, because I don‘t want to hurt him, he‘s important to me. He told me that he waited two weeks to hear something like this from me, that he didn‘t had the courage to ask me sooner when it made him sad that he thought I rejected him. He said now it‘s too late because he already accepted my behavior in order to not loose me as a friend.
Now we still talk, but it‘s different and less because he has contact to this other girl, and we are just friends. One moment I feel sad then I feel it‘s right?

[TheSpaceGnome]

You two overcomplicate things.

This is why I only date blunt crude women who have no issues blurting out whats on their mind without worry.

Either you find him physically attractive, or you don't, it's not that hard to figure out, and its not something you figure out with the passing of time like mental attraction is.

[Kellieee]

You have a good point.
I didn‘t feel attraction. A guy friend of mine told me maybe I did not because he didn‘t made any move in person? That his shyness made me unsure if I could feel attraction? I don‘t know

[TheSpaceGnome]

Physical attraction is instant and certain. You look at the person and immediately get horny and are thinking "wow they're hot". It's very obvious when it happens.

Mental attraction is from shared interests, hobbies, ideals, values, goals, etc. Basically a copy of your brain in their body. its also obvious, and can be learned quickly, but it takes years to know if what you are seeing is a lie or not.

[Kellieee]

The instant physical attraction wasn‘t there.
The mental attraction is there and that‘s what confuses me.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Mental attraction but no physical attraction, is the definition of a friend.

Have you not had real friends before?

[Kellieee]

Of course I did have guy friends. But I enjoyed being close to him mentally so much, which made me really confused when we met and he was this shy and we didn‘t even touched a bit, which maybe could have grown the physical attraction?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Physical attraction is visual, it doesn't grow based on actions, mental attraction does.

[Kellieee]

I think you are right. I guess the physical attraction wouldn’t grow over time… we didn‘t met over a dating app. It was due to a shared interest and I love talking to him and now that the flirty part of our friendship is gone, I wondered if I didn‘t gave it a chance. Because he is great and his friendship is important to me I guess it‘s better that nothing happened

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yeah just stay friends, but look for that same mental closeness and shared interests in someone you think is hot, and date that person once you find them.

[Anonymous]

That is what you get for playing games. You should not have wasted two months of his life, and maybe he would have considered talking to you still.

[Kellieee]

I did not play games at all. We only got to meet two weeks ago because of the distance and you can never tell attraction over phone

[Bethany22]

If you weren't attracted to him before the other girl showed up, then just leave him alone now. I wish I was you, as I'm attracted to shy guys

[art84]

I am shy myself and if a girl wasn't shy and she rejected me, I would get the hint and move on to the next girl. I think you should just accept his request and let him be as he obviously got his feelings hurt.

[Shy_Steve]

If you like talking to him then you like him, Don't deny your Feelings.

Try to imagine dating him then if that makes you smile you Should just ask him on a Proper Date what's the worst that could happen.

[Emmytexrex]

You miss his attention

[MiseriaCantareAFI]

His attention

[menmenme]

Hi hi