What can we do for the younger generation of women to lessen promiscuity, increase sexual and personal accountability, & improve relationships?

[Anonymous]

Updates

1 mo

Educating women on the harms of promiscuity/being with a lot of men both mentally and physically should be more highlighted. We objectify women everywhere and women do it to themselves in turn. This doesn't create a healthy self-image and leads to all sorts of negative effects. We need to do better as a society and women need to do better as well because even when told of the harms they not only continue to do it but also perpetuate this behavior as well.

Updates

1 mo

-heed warnings-make yourself a harder target-take accountability for yourself and don't wish other people would just be better and less bad-never lie in relationships-don't do what other girls are doing because it's cool-don't put yourself in bad situations

[nightdrot]

To start, it being best to recall that there is no chance of perfecting the imperfectible. That human beings will conduct themselves in ways that are not only harmful to others but to themselves and thus ultimately society as a whole. So any answer to this question must be read with nuance and caution.

That said, it has been well said that "Americans do not raise children, they incite them." The impulse is to indulge "authenticity" and to say that feeling matters more than thought. This particularly true in populist phases such as the one the USA - and indeed much of the Western world - is experiencing at this point in time.

The message of such periods is that "the common man" is the font of all virtue. That the institutions and "elites" of society are corrupt and oppressive. That therefore the key is to allow the "common man" to be "free" and to give creedence to his (or her) feelings and to govern society not according to standardized rules, but by the "conscience" of the individual.

In such a context, the culture has seen a rise in promiscuity - with all its' concomitant costs in unwanted pregnancy, child abuse, rape, and a host of other abominations - and also in crime, corruption and many other vices. The human being, left unrestrained by morals and laws, is a savage - and not Rousseau's "noble savage," either.

Rather simply a beast. Suffice to say that a conglomeration - it is really too much to call it a society - of beings will be a dark and ugly place. In that context, the younger generation will give in to its' worst instincts and behaviors and things like promiscuity will increase exponentially, the costs of such vices being only considered later after the damage is done.

Long story short, the key to things like promiscuity - and again, being imperfect beings it can only ever be reduced, not eliminated - is to raise children according to a moral order. To teach them discipline and self-restraint. To refuse to indulge their feelings simply because they are feelings and to insist on excellence and virtue. This not only in terms of the individual and the family, but the society as a whole. Recalling that we shape our laws and then our laws shape us. As the writer George F. Will put it, "statecraft is soulcraft."

It is not a simple and easy answer, nor is it one that can be done overnight. There is no magic button to be pushed that will solve human vice and indeed, to repeat one more time, vice is an irreducible fact of the human condition. It can be restrained and limited, but never eliminated.

The flaw in the premise of the question is its implicit assumption that there is one or two things that we can do "for the younger generation," that will lessen promiscuity. There is not.

Rather, the most the society can do is insist on standards of excellence, and stigmatize and where necessary punish, infractions of excellence - and accept no excuses for the failure to meet those standards. It has been done before.

The pendulum will swing back and forth. Think of the Victorian era. Think of the 1950s and even as recently as the 1980s and 90s. Not perfect periods by any means, but eras when standards were high and vice was stigmatized and minimized. It being noted that the pendulum will swing back and forth - until it stops. (Given human vice, it stops in decadence and mayhem. All things tending toward entropy.)

See? That is all "we" must do.

[slatyb]

Is promiscuity a problem? I don't think so. Women having children before they are able to care for them? That's a problem. The problem isn't promiscuity, it's a lack of access to birth control.

The way to improve relationships is to teach young people how to behave ethically in relationships. American public schools don't do it. Most churches don't do it. I believe it's the main focus of Jewish religious education, and know that it is the main focus of Unitarian Universalist religious education.

[Asker]

Promiscuity has all sorts of negatives for both men and women, but a more pronounced affect on women.

Educating both, women specifically, on why promiscuity is bad and more healthy alternatives, physically and non-physically, will be better for women and men overall.

[whirled_up_girl]

Well, I would reword it to say what can we do for the younger generation of men and women to lessen promiscuity, increase sexual and personal accountability, & improve relationships. Why direct it at only women,

[Asker]

Well, men are ready to have sex whenever, with whomever, and wherever.

Men clearly have more of an interest in sex in all its forms, including casual sex.

Women are very different in all of the above.

It seems nearly impossible to change this evolutionary thing in men, but we CAN educate women more on this and therefore avoid more men who are this way

Also, w educate women to not indulge in peer pressure or temptation

However harmful it is for men, which it is, it is undoubtedly MORE harmful for women physically, emotionally, etc.

So, it would be better to say that women need extra protection or precaution.

Women, most women, like sex a certain way

It is NOT like men, so we should stop turning women into men

[Cassie88]

And the men? What about them? What can we do for the younger generation of MEN to lessen promiscuity?

[Asker]

Read what I wrote under @whirled_up_girl

[Cassie88]

I've already read what you wrote there, and I found myself agreeing with none of it. You basically make weak excuses (ex. "That's just the way men are") for their appalling behaviour! It takes TWO people to have sex, and if that sex is heterosexual then one of them will be a man, and he will be just as responsible for what's going on as the woman.

[Asker]

It takes two people, yes

But the two people, men and women specifically, have very DIFFERENT dynamics and mindset approaching sex.

Different responsibilities and considerations

For example, men don't have to worry about getting pregnant, but women do

One example out of many

[Cassie88]

If a man gets a woman pregnant, then YES, he actually DOES have to "worry about it"! Can you guess why? Because it's HIS BABY TOO! Without him she wouldn't have wound up pregnant! Geez, you're f*cking unbelievable.

[Asker]

The man's body doesn't get pregnant, so he doesn't take that toll, whereas women's bodies take a big toll during pregnancy.

Also, a lot of men for the longest time in history abandon a woman once she gets pregnant.

Even today this is still the case.

The whole reason why women are more picky and selective than men in choosing intimate partners is that they can become pregnant so they need to know the man is going to stay and the man she's being intimate is the right person for her to have a baby with in terms of his physical features, personality, character, etc.

[melanieeeB]

Uhm like I wish my sister doesn't start dating until she is 18 but from there on it's her own decision to make how she wanna act and etc.

[Asker]

A lot of what she may do isn't going to be good or healthy for her

Don't you want to steer her in the right direction as much as you reasonably can?

For example, what if she decides to habitually do drugs? Please tell me you're not just going to let her do that without educating her and showing her evidence why what she's about to do is not good.

You can't force her to do anything, but you can do what you can within reason.

[melanieeeB]

I know she isn't going to do drugs, I raised her well to good for this but if she is going to try out, she can, in a safe environment.
A lot on how people act out or have like drug problems or real sleeping around problems (like a new person nearly every night) is due to their childhood, the parenting and how people were raised lol
But still generally speaking, if someone wanna go on a drug binch, it's not my business to judge them and I'm in no way going to bash women or men for sleeping around

[Asker]

Why is it not your business?

If it's wrong or harmful, you can say so.

Yes, you won't and shouldn't force anyone to do anything because we can't control people. At some point, people will do what they want.

But for example, if I have a daughter, I'll educate her on things and try to set a good example as best as I can.

At some point, she'll be an adult with the agency to make her own decisions. I hope she'll take into consideration what I've said, but she may not and I understand that.

I don't think sleeping around is good and it is proven to be bad.
Why would I pretend that it is anything else otherwise? Just like drugs, alcohol, and other things that she can potentially get into or get exposed to.

[melanieeeB]

It's okay if you thing so, you do you but I don't see a person having sex and that with more then I don't know 10 people as something bad. I'm not a conservative person.

[melanieeeB]

And it's not my business cause it's not my life, strangers and their own decisions doesn't have anything to do with me lol

[Asker]

Well, you're right as they may not have anything to do with yourself.

But overall society can be harmed if many subscribe to a certain belief.

For example, I don't do drugs, so why should I care if other people do it? Well, it's affecting society as a whole even if it doesn't directly affect me which it can certainly.

In this case of sleeping around, it doesn't really benefit anyone, much less women.

But some women will think it is empowering and others may not take a side at all thinking that is the best thing to do despite evidence saying it is bad.

For example, in your case, what would convince you sleeping with a lot of people is bad? What if I show you evidence saying it is?

Or

Do you just want to believe something is good even if it is bad just because? I'm not sure why you would though...

[melanieeeB]

I really don't care lol

[Asker]

Ah, I see.

[Chthou95]

You'll never change it. It is what it is. However women do need to take accountability more for their actions. Too many blame others especially men for their actions in the past

[bamesjond0069]

It's a cycle. Women being married off at age 16 as property is coming down the pipeline.

[Cassie88]

No it's not.

[bamesjond0069]

@Cassie88 well first will come polygyny which is already here basically. But the result of polygyny is young virgins married off.

[msc545]

Nothing defeats a neurotransmitter addiction. Sex and orgasms are the best drugs there are.

[LiamJHayden]

People are individuals and will choose what they think is best in the moment of choosing.

[LazerBean]

Be non promiscuous, responsible parents.

[Asker]

What can women do specifically

Don't mention men

I just want to see what your answer to this without mentioning men would be.

FYI, I can answer this question on the men's side without bringing women into it.

[LazerBean]

I literally just did.

[Asker]

You literally mentioned "parents" at the end, which means you qualified the entirety of what you wrote for BOTH men and women.

I'm asking you what can women specifically do, without mentioning men.

[LazerBean]

Women can be non promiscuous, responsible parents. Do you understand now? If you're still having comprehension problems, let me know if I need to add more words and be more descriptive or if it's too many words.

[Asker]

I've asked questions in the past where you've been dodgy about the actual question.

I'd ask something specifically for men or specific for women and you would answer it in a binary way.

So forgive me if this is the one time you've answered properly and the question at hand.

My interactions with you haven't been really pleasant because you seldom answered the question as intended and would skirt to other things.

I would say "why is promiscuity more harmful for women"

You'd answer "same for men"

Even after citing sources and adding more context.

[LazerBean]

I have a feeling what I actually said is "same *as* for men", which is actually very specific. However if I forgot and left that word out and confused you, I do thoroughly apologize. I really don't remember much about the interaction, considering you are just one of the majority of men here who likes to whine about female promiscuity but not male promiscuity. I'd say there is a fairly large chance that I ignored you and your sources because they didn't meet basic college criteria for being recognized as credible.

[Asker]

Female and male promiscuity is different

This is the whole point, substantiated by many sources.

Why would it be exactly the same?

Men and women want different things in sex and we even have different sex organs...

So, I don't know about me "whining" about anything, rather, just pointing out a difference and you not wanting to believe we are different.

I've also said it is harmful to both.

[LazerBean]

Lol k.

[Asker]

I don't understand this tactic

I doubt you'd respond this way if you were talking to me face-to-face

It's not polite

But I'm guessing since you're behind a screen, you don't have issues being this way towards people.

[LazerBean]

Tactic? Kind of like your tactic of asking questions as if you actually want opinions but really you just want confirmation for your own opinions? Lol and I absolutely treat idiots like idiots in real life, proudly. My parents have always gotten a kick out of it.

[Asker]

I do want opinions, but reasonable ones.

If I ask a question about women, some tactic used to deflect attention away from women is to talk about or blame men.

It's frustrating to people who use this way of talking and it's something I've experienced everywhere.

One woman called me an idiot after I've sourced what I was talking about in one question.

She probably just didn't like the fact I was critical over something she has strong beliefs over

Then you respond with "lol k" then possibly call me an idiot even though it's most likely you and I have a difference of belief rather than one of us being idiots

Yet, you still decided to write that.

I don't know you, but I doubt you respond with "lol k" with those that disagree with you in-person.

You don't have to like what is being said, but that doesn't mean the opposing viewpoint or person is idiotic...

[LazerBean]

"I want opinions, but only the ones that don't disagree with me" 🤣 I'm fine with you telling yourself that. Now I'll let you continue obsessing over women being promiscuous while downplaying men's role in slut society.

[Asker]

I told myself that I was going to try talking with you even though I knew it wouldn't be reasonable.

I wanted specific takes

Yet you deflect like you've done on all my other relative questions.

You still can't admit women and men are different in how casual sex harms each even after I've explained it you previously AND gave evidence

I should learn from my mistakes and not talk to people that won't reason...

[LazerBean]

Glad you feel that way, means I hit the right nerve. I'll keep calling out hypocritical hoes till the day I die ✊

[Asker]

I think I've asked you before how I was hypocritical and you couldn't give me answer

You must not have seen the "It's harmful for both men and women"

I've said a million times...

Knowing myself, I'll try again in the future because I do feel like you do agree with me in some sense, but for some reason it's difficult to wade through this "confusion."

[LazerBean]

I doubt that lmao but we shall see, what's your body count again?

And yes keep leaving out that you specifically only target women in your questions and explicitly have stated that you believe is much less negative for men. Same concept as a feminist saying "yes I think white males are shitty, but no I don't hate them because I have a white male friend" 🥺

[Asker]

I told you I can list many specific men things without mentioning women

But this question mentions only women

[LazerBean]

Subject change after being asked a direct question that would disprove your claim that you are not a hypocrite hoe. This is too damn easy.

[Asker]

If you want that answer, I'll PM you

I wouldn't say something like that here...

[LazerBean]

Yeah, because it's a number that's shameful. And yet you're here shooting friendly fire. That's my point. No need to pm me.

[Asker]

And you're not going to let me explain why or not something "shameful?"

I literally explain everything

You just sat "shameful" and no explanation

[Asker]

*say

[LazerBean]

Let me ask you this, what kind of body count would a woman need to have to be a "promiscuous woman" in your book? Minimum

[LazerBean]

OMG thank you, my husband and I enjoyed the laugh 😂

[LazerBean]

Wow, good thing I foresaw something like this happening and followed this question :) why'd ya go anon? Are you going to answer the question?