Is it possible for her to like me again?

[Anonymous]

So I was getting along with this girl pretty good. I was flirting with her and she would smile and try to be around me. I liked her a lot but I made the mistake trying to get along with her like I have with other girls.

We were about to go on a date when through text I told her we should “get dinner then make-out”. It wasn’t the first time I’ve been flirting with her but I guess it was the most blunt tease I had done by that point and it was a playful tease which I kinda do to reassure myself that I’m dealing with a girl I’m going to start a relationship with. Even if we were to go out on a date and nothing would’ve happened I would’ve been okay with that. But I guess it’s just something I’ve gotten used to doing because my relationship with other girls would go straight to physicality and I saw nothing wrong with it. It didn’t mean the same for her.

After that she flaked on the date and after some texting back and fourth she said that she thought that was weird and that she doesn’t go around F’ing everyone. By that point I tried to correct the issue telling her that it wasn’t all that serious it was just a joke but then I went off to screw it some more saying other things. Bottom line though I still don’t see what was the issue. We were attracted to each other, she said yes to going out on a date, I had flirted and complimented her before. I don’t understand why she got so upset.

In the end she told me not to hit her up and that she is not interested. I’m still very confused as to why she got so upset and it wasn’t like that’s all I was looking for. I just saw us starting a relationship.

We work in the same place so we still see each other but this last time I was around her for work she was just different. She was bitchy, mean and aggressive. I felt it was different from how we would get along in the beginning and I’m willing to try it again but well now she seems to be nice to everyone except me. It’s weird.

Updates

1 y

Yeah so we just recently had a good friendly talk. I apologized again and she seemed happy to talk to me. I didn’t ask her out again that day that we did talk. A week goes by I talk to her again and she doesn’t seem as eager to talk to me this time.

She’s going hot and cold at a just of week of notice and it’s very frustrating. I’m going to try and ask her out one more time which I feel she will say no to again but her attitude is just very frustrating to deal with. Problem is I like her and sh

Updates

1 y

She seems to like me back but doesn’t put even half the effort I put to make things happen. I don’t know why she’s like this. She was putting more effort in the beginning but even then she just waits for me to do all the moves ALL THE TIME. She doesn’t approach me even when she does want to talk to me. It’s horrible. She’s immature

[Guy13]

You should let this one go. After that first crack about “Sex for Dinner”, you will likely never see her again. If you said that to my sister, we would have a bad day together.
I see ZERO chance.

[Asker]

You might be right but again it’s about being real in my eyes. I always feel like I’m being deceptive if I don’t make intentions known when going out on a date. Or you have to read something you don’t like reading or you’re dealing with someone who isn’t sincere. Plus it wasn’t sex for dinner. It was a date. I’ve also had experiences were I go out and there is no sex or anything like that. I end up friend-zoned immediately after. From there on out when I want a girl I make a move and usually it happens. Again I can keep it clean and play it nice but if we’re not attracted to each other for a date then what’s the point of dating?

[Asker]

Again I’ve had girls I hadn’t even met in person yet flirt with me more bluntly then this girl. It’s not about “sex for dinner” it’s about having fun and being playful with a girl I’m in a relationship with. I guess I rushed things too soon but that’s all I see wrong with this. In the end though she doesn’t care. She doesn’t take any explanation. I’m just waiting for the next girl to come around but it was unfortunate how this panned out

[Asker]

I should also mention that if I would’ve said something like that in person she probably would’ve laughed it off or something like that. The vibe and feel while in person was light and playful on text it was just brutally different. The other issue I had in the end was over texting and she would say I was “doing too much”. Which was the first time I had ever have a girl I’m potentially dating say something like that. The girls once they like me want to text more, they want to show up for dates, etc. She had every sign that she liked me yet seemingly was putting no effort into making it work or being with me

[Guy13]

Yeah. This sounds like this particular girl has a high standard and considers your statement as too much too soon. It’s a Judgment thing…

[Asker]

I suppose so. Usually when a girl likes me I feel like I can say almost anything and it will slide because in the end I’m honest about my flaws and things like that. With this girl it wasn’t like that. It was like once I put down a statement it was basically a death sentence to the relationship.

I would argue that she probably didn’t like me all that much to begin with. Which is what I told her and she would say that wasn’t the reason. She said that she was down to going out but I was “doing too much”.

Girls that like me don’t think this way. They make things happen and text more. She also was incapable of saying whether she liked me or not. She never said anything like that either. But yeah I suppose she goes out on dates to see if she likes a guy or not. But well I just see myself dating girls I actually like.

But yeah it’s all messed up and she made up her mind about me I guess but it’s 100% wrong is the least I can say

[Guy13]

There you go... who knows what happens with some time passing.

[rabbitzzz]

Nah you did the right thing. She didn't see you as makeup material. I guess you better find someone who will?

by the way why are you fucking around with so many girls though. Thats not nice. Why can't you be happy?

[Asker]

I’ve only fucked 2 girls in the entire 2 years I’ve been in California. I guy has needs so I’ve been just up for a girl I can be friends with benefits I find attractive but it’s very hard to come by. That plus I just haven’t found girls I consider to be relationship material. The first date I had I was serious about it and first thing she pulls out was her depression issues and later on text how she wanted to Kill herself and things like that. Obviously I didn’t want her. Then the other girls I would date I just didn’t find them all that attractive. In all reality I haven’t been fucking around tho. She hadn’t even known anything of my past and just assumed I was fucking around because I flirted with her basically. Then she used that as an excuse to flake and not get along anymore.

[ettajeezy]

Honestly you may have lost this one... once you give a girl the ick and make her feel uncomfortable around you it is extremely hard to come back from that. If you are around her often you could attempt to be a gentleman to her until you have made a good impression and then apologize for before. But likely I think you should just focus on not being so sexual next time. It is very immature

[Asker]

You might be right. I don’t always do that but well I’ve had girls like it before and that’s why I just didn’t think much of it. Still though I don’t think I lost much of anything. It was very one sided. I was the one doing basically everything. I didn’t feel much appreciated even when she did supposedly liked me.

[Asker]

I’ve dealt with her a couple of times but if her chemistry is dead, so is mine. I’ve been losing attraction for her and when I see her I don’t get happy like I used to so I don’t feel like being nice to her or anything like that. All things fair she’s the one that didn’t want it after that but well she did her part on killing my feelings as well.

[Makeushiver]

Have you heard the expression about the gift horse? It's possible that she was going out on a limb by suggesting what she did and your not responding in kind embarrassed her to the extent that she felt she had to punish you. I'm not saying that's exactly it bit it was the first though that came to mind. Any expression of lust takes a certain amount of courage to make because of the blow to te ego if the recipient does not respond

[Asker]

I don’t think you understand the situation. If it was like the gift horse expression then it’s actually based on my side. We were getting along perfectly fine until I suggested that we should “get dinner and makeout” as a joke and a tease. Which is when she just decided to blow up the situation for more then what it was. Flaking on me and then blaming me for everything that went wrong in the relationship. Even though such comments did not stop me from having a great relationship with other women

[Billboshaggens]

Just stop at dinner next time. Sorry dude. You can apologize (in person) but it sounds like she's got her mind made up about you.

[Asker]

Pretty much. I just think she is overly judgmental. When I tried to explain anything it was like hitting a brick wall. Nothing would go through

[Billboshaggens]

Honestly at least you know what she's like when offended. Probably not worth your time.

[Asker]

I’m kinda starting to regret this situation. At first it felt like a lot of pressure and a lot of emotions coming into me and she seemed very happy to see me and I used to like that a lot. So when it all ended I felt this kind of relief. But now I’m starting to wish I would’ve done it differently but well that last time I tried to fix things she just told me to leave her alone which is when I deleted her number and haven’t spoke to her since. It was a pretty disappointing turn of events. I really don’t understand what she wanted from me though. She seemed to really like me and disregarded the fact that I’m a human too and shut off her feelings. Then she gets angry and defensive at the fact that I’m angry about her being like that. Last time I spoke to her over work out spark was just gone but I still kind of want her back again

[Anonymous]

Texting - big fail.

When we people ever learn?

[Avicenna]

No, you need to move on

[Daniii101]

Start fresh

[Iron_Man]

Yes it is