A female that has had asshole ex boyfriends doesn’t know how to handle her first nice guy? are or disagree?

[Finchie40]

She feels it’s to good to be true , she has a harder time trusting it , her emotions are all over the place , she is scared to give herself completely to him because she is afraid to be let down and heart broken again , She will treat him like shit because she constantly has to test him , if he can handle her negative emotions she will eventually let her guard down and come into his arms , things will be good for a bit , until her insecurities arise again , thinking this has to be to good to be true , No man has ever treated her this nice , this can’t be real but little does she realize her negativity is slowly pushing him away , sometimes to much to the point he can’t tolerate her negativity any longer , and ends up opening up to another girl that brings him positive energy and doesn’t treat him like shit , or he just walks away , either or she has lost her chances with him , the first nice guy to a girl always has it the hardest. If he can tolerate her negativity and her crazy emotions she will more than likely stay by his side but is that fair to to him?

Updates

+1 y

Agree or Disagree , my bad

[DizzyDesii]

I disagree. My first boyfriend was an ahole but the majority after him were not. And yes i’ve had my fair shair of aholes. I trust each person easily and by default until i’m given a reason not to. I didn't treat anyone badly but yes i can be bossy however most of my men liked that. Im not afraid of heartbreak because i easily move on. Im just annoyed by wasting my time. My guard is never really up so there's nothing to let down. Plenty of dudes have treated me nice. The assholes are usually the ones who pretended to be nice. I dont just intentionally go for aholes.

[Finchie40]

Well if your boyfriends after him were nice guys then why are they not with you anymore? So it sounds like you still haven’t experienced your true actual nice guy

[DizzyDesii]

They are not with me anymore because once i know enough about a person, i know whether or not i still want to be with them. You learn more about a person the longer you get to know them/date them. You can't figure out everything in the friendship stage. You just can't. So yes like i said a good amount were nice guys but BEING A NICE GUY DOES NOT MAKE YOU THE RIGHT GUY

[Finchie40]

Exactly the right guy for you is going to be the one that can balance between nice and bad lol

[DizzyDesii]

They were all well balanced between nice/bad. But that doesn't make them the right one for me. The right one for me will not turn out to have some major dealbreaker. For example, if you say you want kids and keep telling that lie but then one day you say you just said that so you could keep me, well now im going to leave you. Not because you're a liar but because thats a dealbreaker lmao

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I disagree. My ex was the nicest guy in the world. He was so sweet and gentle with me. For two years I thought that was a fairytale and was the luckiest girl in the world. In the end acted like an asshole though.

[Finchie40]

So he was an asshole then , so you haven’t actually experienced Your first actual nice guy yet ,

[Leopard23]

No. I think her ex was always an asshole and that's what attracted her to him in the first place. Another thing is that some chicks love the drama of being with an asshole, even when domestic abuse is involved. Often when a woman is describing her ex as an asshole or abusive guy she may be gaslighting you and others about him because she cheated on him or he dumped her and really she was the asshole or abuser and he's actually a pretty decent guy. Some women just love a bastard.

[Finchie40]

Most women just love what they don’t have , if she has a good guy she eventually wants a bad guy , if she has a bad guy she eventually wants a good guy , For a guy to keep a girl by his side he usually has to be a little bit of both just to keep her by his side , if he can’t balance that then it’s more than likely going to end. One thing I learned about girls based off of my experiences is most girls’ are selfish , they only really care about themselves , if a girl is loyal and doesn’t cheat then there will still be a price to pay , trying to handle her up and down emotions making you her punching bag and never really considering your feelings , she will test you to no end on whether you are going to stay faithful on her or not , if you accomplish all her emotional tests she might give you a cookie but eventually she will still find other ways to push your buttons by making you feel like you don’t deserve her and that you deserve better , manipulating you and gaslighting you trying to play a victim when really you are the victim , she has a hard time pointing fingers at herself especially if she has been treated like shit by her parents or ex boyfriends , sadly it more than likely wasn’t their fault she was the problem all along

[Leopard23]

My own opinion is that women don't know what they want. At the core of them most of them crave excitement and drama. They want attention and want to be validated, held up as better than other women. Mostly they desire to have whatever other women have and for other women to want what they have.
If you've ever been on the situation where a girl you liked had no intrest but when she sees you with another girl whos maybe hotter or finds out other women want to date you and all of a sudden she's all over you then you know what I'm taking about.

[NathanDavis]

disagree

seen different in experience

[Finchie40]

How long have you been in your relationship

[NathanDavis]

it was around five years

[Genie23]

I treated him so good and made him feel so loved that he couldn't get enough of me and couldn't forget about me even after we stopped talking for a long time and came back. So, that should answer your question. Sometimes things don't work out not because you have an issue (bad experiences) or your partner have issues, but because the timing was just not right and there were too many things going on in life.

[inhua]

that's why it's better to find a girl who never had an ex-boyfriend. won't have to worry about any of her past emotional baggage

[dudeinohio]

My ex girlfriend dumped me due to this. She didn't know how to deal with a guy who didn't abuse her.

[Wise4myage]

I agree, and this is so many women always end up with abusive boyfriends. For some reason, they think its all they deserve.