What does self-confidence mean?

[dawnfoxyz]

I have a very low self-confidence, I'm 21 years old

According to my friends, I am a handsome and stylish person who knows how to dress.

but I've never been in a relationship. Of course, I take responsibility for this on myself. after all i'm embarrassed to go and talk to girls (i can't talk to people in general)

But more importantly, I've been studying diction for months and working on articulation for hours, but I still can't speak properly when talking to people because I don't have confidence in myself.

Frankly, this makes me very sad. I feel like I'm not getting paid for my hard work.

I feel sad when people who have nothing to do with diction and have not studied speak better than me.

What I really want to ask is how do we do any action (talking to girls, talking to people, talking nice, etc.) with confidence?

[Guy13]

Man have you opened a can of Carl Rogers and humanistic thought as Self-Confidence is without addressing Self-Esteem and Self Efficacy is difficult. Self-Confidence is a global definition that entails both a state of being and doing that illicit positive Self vibes and quantifiable or qualitative results as perceived by both you and others.

Self Esteem is basically the measuring of how one perceives themselves and could be said to be the Being part of the equation. One is either at peace with oneself or one is not although there is more often fluctuation, therefore, momentary Being fluctuates as well.

Self-Efficacy is the belief in accomplishing which entails a knowledge of your ability to do. Self-Efficacy is the Doing part of the equation.

All three sum into an individual who is confident from past results and those resulting feelings. If for some reasons your results are internalized as Negative then Self-doubt rears its head which lessens your degree or level of Self-Confidence. Unfortunately, we are not perfect and we all have frailties and experiencing a genuine positive feeling about yourself all the time is unrealistic. Self-Confidence fluctuates as does life experience.

Hope this is helpful in some way...

[Anonymous]

"how do we do any action with confidence?"

The answer is attitude. You have to understand what it is and then you have to pretend to have the attitude calculated to produce the result you want. If you want confident, have the attitude of a confident person. A person's way of doing things is the direct result of the way they think about things. To do things in a way you want to do them you will have to acquire the ability to think the way you want to think regardless of anything/everything. If you do this frequently and often enough you will make a habit out of being confident.

You can go overcome your fears but ultimately you're going to have to accept the attitude of the confident person. You can use the outside to give you permission to feel confident or you can just go straight there.

[dusky_woman1]

it's not something you learn quickly. it takes time. even few years. all you have to do is just start talking to elder people. they are good listeners. you will learn how to speak gradually. then go for people of your age.

[FreyaRed]

Depends of your personal perception. Are you confident other people see you in a positive light when you say " I am a handsome and stylish person who knows how to dress." ?

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Confidence is something that's already inside you, but there are barriers preventing you from letting it out.
The most common barriers are insecurities.

Very shy, introverted and introspective people tend to have the most trouble with insecurities. We're so stuck inside our heads, it's hard to forget ourselves for a moment and take in the world from the "forehead out".

This is something that will get better with age, but it will also take some hard work on your part.
Putting yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable, consistently, will eventually convince your subconscious mind that there's nothing worry about, and your confidence will emerge.

Having trouble talking to girls? TALK TO MORE GIRLS. It will suck at first, and you'll suck at first, but after a while you'll start to get better at it and it will become natural.

(That's the last piece of advice anyone wants to hear. I know. "Step out of my box? Hell no!")