Why don't girls approach a handsome guy?

[Anonymous]

Why don't girls approach a handsome guy?

[AmyHew1tt]

I'd have trouble approaching an average guy, as I'm still working on my social anxiety. But the main reasons would be fear of rejection or looking desperate, and the presumption that if I find him attractive, many other girls will too, and he'll know that, so I always worry he wouldn't actually want to have a relationship.

I also don't know how to objectively judge myself on the looks rating, so I don't want to ask out a guy who might be out of my league. But nonetheless, I'm always friendly and smile at everyone. And I suppose it must be lonely for some of those guys who are just assumed to be playboys because they're handsome when a few of them might just want genuine attention as much as anyone.

[Dtate]

It was lonely when I was assumed to be a playboy so I actually became one. I concluded that it's destined to be my natural role.

[magiusX26]

guess what, guys have to do it with all those same fears too.

[AmyHew1tt]

@magiusX26 Uh, I'm not saying they don't? I was answering the question that was asked, which why girl's don't often approach handsome men.

[EmyyWolf]

Because then if ( he don’t want you). It’s like; you’re the laughing stock. You’re the joke. Jokes on you.

You’re gonna look like yet another girl who wants this guy. Except you’re got rejected. And then you just look like the ugly girl who also wants the hot guy. 🤡

.

All his hot Exes are gonna laugh at you. 🤡

[EmyyWolf]

Has happened to me before. And the hot guy acts uncomfortable around you, and he can even be hostile and aggressive towards you.

A year later I lost all the weight, and the guy was now single. And even though I still liked him. I rejected him as revenge. 😈 just like he did me. 🖕

[D_Bone_Steak]

😂 I want to steal this picture. ... for some research purposes. 😂

[EmyyWolf]

@D_Bone_Steak
That’s not me lol 😂. But I looked pretty much like that 😂 what a fool I was

[D_Bone_Steak]

@EmyyWolf I think I've seen you on some youtube stuff... you actually was that big once?
Damn, I'll give it to you, you turned things around if you actually were like that. I should really start digging around for the pictures when I was fat... I think I got to 220 lbs. at one point and I didn't have any muscles. Like I'm still heavy at around 180 to 200, but it's just muscle weight now.

Like for reals when I was fat... I got turned down by a chick that looked like the girl in the picture... probably why I went ape shit and bought all the damn weights to lift.

[EmyyWolf]

@D_Bone_Steak
Always lift. Even I lift small weights and bring them to work. Just because it makes me feel happier and more hopeful. It gives your brain motivation for some reason.

And if you want to increase your testosterone. Always go out to the sun. The sun light literally gives you the most testosterone ever. You don’t notice it, but it literally does 👍 stuff is like drinking a cup of testosterone. Look it up. But do it carefully.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Really? That would explain why I see so much obesity where I'm currently at (close to Seattle)... I've never seen so many fat people or so many clouds and rain. Someone told me coffee will do it too.

I'm going to probably go back to drinking an entire pot of coffee and sun tanning under a plant light.

[EmyyWolf]

@D_Bone_Steak
At least take vitamin D. Cause if you don’t get enough sun. It can push depression and such.
This is why you see that people in Cali or Florida tend to be more fit. Cause it’s hotter.

[hahahmm]

Decide if you want to be a traditional guy or a non-traditional guy. If you want to be a traditional guy then 1.) You need to put effort into making the first move / taking the first risk, 2.) 99% of women want traditional benefits from guys, even if she herself doesn't want to be traditional at all. 3.) If you're traditional don't waste time on females who don't want to be traditional... it's not worth it.

Oh, wait.. you thought being a guy means you can just sit back and everything you want in life comes to you? Doesn't work like that. Although, guys who live in places where the women far outnumber the guys have an easier time.

[hahahmm]

Lastly: be very, very careful who you go for. Picking the wrong woman could 1.) cost you your life (because her drama gets you into situations where somebody kills you or because she does foolish stuff and you feel the need to protect her), 2.) cost you your time. When you're young it's harder to understand but your time is valuable or will become more valuable. Getting stuck in a relationship with the wrong person for year (s) isn't good and will stunt your growth as a better guy too. So have high standards for yourself and others... things will work out better in the end.

[Pegases]

They don't have to. The burden of approach is on the man, especially if you want a feminine woman. That being said, in most cases the women that approach men, have far more experience with men.. Women are known players too now, and the women approaching unsuspecting men, in most cases are going to manipulate your emotions via sex appeal or straight up sex. Don't allow approach anxiety to stifle your options. You want to be the kind of man that gets to choose the woman he wants, not the man that only chooses from what he has available.

[hahahmm]

Exactly! Also 'boring' women are great. They won't be getting railed by 5 boyfriends while you're at work.

[FilmGuy93]

Sometimes they do. Approaching takes lot more confidence than most women have.

[Anonymous]

I would say they are either scared of rejection or are shy. I used to do the whole eye contact, smile, blink slowly then look away tactic to show I’m interested and then wait to see if they’d approach me. It was a more subtle way then directly approaching them. Don’t get me wrong it worked but now that I’m more mature and confident I wouldn't have a problem approaching someone I’m attracted to.

[Dtate]

I appreciate ladies like you who don't just stare at me with resting bitch face. Smiling and eye contact will get me to approach if I'm attracted physically.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Honestly? Because I assume he's already taken and seeing someone (which yes, usually is the case for men I like), or he's not interested in me.

That's not to say I won't be polite, chat, and say hi to him. But I'm not going to flirt or pursue him unless I'm sure he's interested and he's single.

[loveslongnails]

First things first, right? You FIRST have to ascertain if he's single! He could be interested and NOT single, which doesn't do you any good! LOL You can do this AND flirt in one cute, easy move. You can say hello and ask " Are you waiting for your girlfriend or S. O, or don't you have one?" Then you can play off his answer. Whatever he says will tell you a lot ! :)

[Dtate]

What if he's single and mingling.

[loveslongnails]

@Dtate You'll find that out too.

[AmandaYVR]

Uh... intimidation. It's difficult enough talking to a complete stranger who's an average guy. Doing a cold approach with someone you think is gorgeous is terrifying.

But I've done it. And it's well worth it, ha. 😈

[AmandaYVR]

Cause sometimes really good looking men are really nice men. I've experienced this multiple times.

[Kelly6]

totally agree

[Heterosketero]

Thats a good message there. Good on you.

[Kimchi_doll]

I went up to this guy that me and so many girls thought was sexy and handsome. Told him I wanted to kick his a$$ in mortal combat and now we’re dating lol

[AmandaYVR]

You rock, girl. 🎯
That's how you do it!!!

[Kimchi_doll]

@AmandaYVR thanks!! 😏 lol!

[Gummy_Cluster]

You should teach a class!

[AmandaYVR]

@Gummy_Cluster lolol. Or she could just say, "Stop overthinking and just go do it!!!"

[Gummy_Cluster]

@AmandaYVR
Hey, you're stealing Nike's line!

[AmandaYVR]

@Gummy_Cluster It's a good slogan! ha ha

[Gummy_Cluster]

@AmandaYVR

A guy just asked a question that went on for days. It was about how to meet a girl, when girls don't want to be approached. I don't know if he can be helped.

[AmandaYVR]

@Gummy_Cluster I haven't seen that q.

Solution: Girls need to start asking.

[Gummy_Cluster]

@AmandaYVR

It's only about 10 minutes old, so you will bump into it.

[AmandaYVR]

@Gummy_Cluster

My response, which the girls will ignore, again:

The Personal and Societal Benefits of Girls Taking the Initiative With Guys in Relationships ↗

Their response: blah blah blah blah blah.
Just do it!

[Gummy_Cluster]

@AmandaYVR

This is the goof ball I mentioned. I'm done with him, but I will respond to your question.

[Heterosketero]

Yer a champ

[MarkHrdman]

So you lost intentionally to beat your friends without real physical violence which was all about physical action 😆

[LivDev]

Men underestimate how intimidating they can be if they have their shit together. Plus we're kinda socialized to assume that if a guy isn't approaching or signalling in any kind of way, then he's not interested.

And approaching an attractive/impressive guy that you think isn't attracted/impressed by you, can feel like

[Dtate]

Solid advice from a fellow objectively handsome man...

As men more often than not the burden is on us to make the first approach handsome or not. If she smiles at you and/or holds your gaze go say hey. If you have approach anxiety, put in the reps until you overcome your fear and get better (be willing to fail and embarrass yourself). Once you overcome the fear you have the option to have multiple women if you want because of the charisma you've built. Don't worry about #metoo bs; that's media brainwashing/cope vast majority of the time.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I literally have no game... if girls didn't approach me it would be impossible. My pick-up artist skills are pretty much flex muscles and getting them to approach me. I don't even think I'm handsome.

So I just disagree with this question... women do it all the time.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Also out of curiosity... why'd you go Anon for a question like this? That doesn't make sense.

[Dtate]

Probably doesn't want to get harrased by trolls and or butthurt girls

[D_Bone_Steak]

@Dtate People are ultra fearful nowadays. Jeez... We're all pretty much Anon already and this site isn't like /pol where it's pretty much standard to be called things that would get a person banned here. 😂

The fear level is just too damn high! lolz (>_<)

[nitsuj86]

They do. Most of the time they will put themselves in his sight line and expect him to make the move though.

If you are asking for yourself, well you either aren't as handsome as you think. Or you are expecting way more out of women than you should. 90% are too afraid to approach.

[megabamse]

Because the are afraid of many things, like the competitions and the hassels of that, their own self image, it he's shallow, if he have no skill because he don't need it, that he's "spoiled", the chance he puts less efforts into most things and so on.

[Heterosketero]

You will not like the answer. Because rejection from an attractive man may compromise your ability to date other men in a hypergamous manner. If he rejects you, others may notice, others may reject you as well. This is a prospect for men as well, but not nearly so much as there is less hypergamy in male dating patterns.

[boggboss]

Because itsvstill seen as desperate for women to make the first move by many

[AmandaYVR]

Bingo. That's exactly what they think.
(Interesting how they don't invert it and apply the same thing to men, eh. No, for girls it's "desperate" but for men it's "their duty.")

[Heterosketero]

That ties into the lack of confidence stated above by another poster. That actually never occurred to me as a guy, but it makes sense. Why would women be confident in pursuing men? They have never really had to according to social structure. Something to think about the next time he looks nervously your way several times ladies...

[Heterosketero]

@AmandaYVR both are social conditioning, we should not blame eachother for that but rather, challenge it by going on more dates without apps n shit.

[boggboss]

Thats the thing tho it is men and think that it's desperation it something we need to step away from as a whole as it's a stupid way to think

[Pohjolan]

Eh I'm in the middle where I'm enough unrepulsive for women to spontaneously approach me but mostly not enough attractive to be desirable.

Then again my dermatologist is just half done.

If a guy is really handsome but they don't approach him then they find him intimidating.

Or he isn't actually handsome.

[littlered14]

Fear of rejection mostly. I tried it just because the what if scared me more and I received a, "I'm sorry. I'm not single" but he continues to stare at me from afar and avoid speaking to me now, which I find super weird.

[Heterosketero]

It isn't that weird though. You declared your intention. Now he can't, as someone who is attached, very well get to know you, think of their partner. But they also know you are attracted to them, who wouldn't check out someone who just told them they would like to go out sometime? Everyone wants who or what they can't have, even if they dont.

[Anonymous]

Why would they?

Women get hit on constantly.

Think about it; if you had a choice between one or more of X amount of sure things why would you risk the awkwardness of a maybe from +1?

Not only is it not necessary for a woman but women are extremely averse to exposing themselves to this sort of risk, women are manipulators and prefer that someone else expose themselves to these 'dangers' on their behalf.

[PainusNdeeAnus]

I don’t think I’m handsome at all but I’m well aware that how I look to me isn’t how other people see me

that being said when women see a guy they like they usually just stare at him until he makes eye contact and if she smiles then she wants you to come talk to her this is all from personal experiences

[OfMiceandMen]

Because they are likely just as nervous about being rejected as most guys are about approaching an attractive women. It is easier not to try, than try.

[Gummy_Cluster]

But there's no reason to be nervous. Just don't put yourself in a position to be rejected.

[OfMiceandMen]

@Gummy_Cluster there really is no reason to be nervous, but uncertainty and doubt tends to overrule and most people never try.

[Gummy_Cluster]

Would you be nervous approaching a woman and asking for directions?

[OfMiceandMen]

@Gummy_Cluster Not at all.

[Gummy_Cluster]

Imagine that she’s a big fat lumberjack with a wad of chew in her mouth. Talk to her like that. NEVER FLIRT. That’s a huge mistake. Make very little eye contact, because you would never do that with the lumberjack. Talk with confidence, because you don’t care one way or another if he wants to talk to you.

Mice: What’s the score?

Gal: I don’t know, I don’t even care.

Mice: Same here.

Gal: Then why did you ask?

Mice: In case one of my friends call or text. I’m expected to know that.

Gal: Why?

Mice: It’s a guy thing. If you don’t know the score, they think you’re gay.

Gal: That’s dumb.

Mice: Hey, they have 30 televisions in this place. Do you think we could change the channel on one, and they wouldn’t notice?

Gal: Change it to what?

Mice: Anything but this boring crap. Maybe a movie or something.

Gal: I doubt it. These guys would be pissed off.

Mice: I’m thinking about doing it. If this mob comes after me, do you have my back?

Gal: You mean like to fight?

Mice: No, just call me an ambulance.

Gal: Sure. (smiles)

Mice: Trust me, if they hadn't stolen my boat, I sure as hell wouldn’t be in this place. Me and Chip would be out on the lake.

Gal: Chip is your son?

Mice: Yes, but he mostly just barks when I catch a fish.

Gal: Chip is your dog?

Mice: Yes, and unfortunately, he likes my Molson beer. Bastard. I need to get a new dog.

Gal: You give your dog beer?

Mice: Yes, it’s the only way to get him to stop staring at me. I hate when he stares. And he does the same thing with potato chips. Do you fish?

Gal: I went out a few times with my dad.

There you go, Mouse. While all the other guys are staring at her boobs, you didn’t even notice them. You just like her brain. Capture her brain, and the boobs will follow.

[OfMiceandMen]

@Gummy_Cluster that is some great advice and I like the ad lib, gives a nice perspective on how the convo could go. Just have to work on my delivery, a touch of debonair and wit.

[Gummy_Cluster]

I have a good friend who's a pick up artist. I know that sounds bad, but he just wants to sow his wild oats, and he's the master of that. It just comes natural for him. He told me a lot of his tricks, and the lack of eye contact is huge. And the lumberjack thing is huge. And practice on your delivery. You will get good at it. Practice making small talk with women, every chance you get.

Mouse: I like those earrings. Is that a good gift, or are guys supposed to buy clothes? I'm just crappy when it comes to buying women clothes. They don't have my eye for fashion, so they just take the overalls back to the hardware store for a refund.

[OfMiceandMen]

@Gummy_Cluster Damn! and here I thought overalls were a good choice?🤔

[Gummy_Cluster]

No! Overalls are too practical. Get her cut flowers that will die in two days. A guy once asked me what I thought about a gift he was going to give his girlfriend. It was a rechargeable flashlight, that could even be charged with a hand crank, and had an output to charge a cell phone, if the power went out. He was so proud of his choice, so I just said it was a great gift. I'm sure that went over like a fart in church. :)

[OfMiceandMen]

@Gummy_Cluster 🤣 Poor guy! Did you hear about the fallout afterwards?

[Gummy_Cluster]

She just looked at it and said... thanks?

[DermalPunch]

With social media and dating apps loyalty has gone into the negative numbers. Everyone has git a roster going. I'm not approaching any dudes handsome or average but attractive.

If you're so handsome you approach!

[devilish-cutie]

I did but indirectly like adding on app and such but mostly good looking guys werent looking just for fun in my experience, not all but most so that makes me vary as well (im good looking)

[devilish-cutie]

they were looking just for fun*

[Gibbons44]

Girls only approach when told by the social setting to do so. Usually, because a 'he' has enouvh money the setting would wsnt him to spend. You are probably too young to have any significant monetary... might?