How can I cut off my feelings for my coworker who talks to my friend and craves attention?

Question

I started work back in July 2022 and I met a very attractive girl who also started the same day. I thought she was gorgeous. Being at a tech company, there's very few girls, let alone pretty girls, and she gets a LOT of attention She also says things like "she always gets whatever she wants" and "she can do whatever she wants" and doesn't take accountability of these sorts of things. However, I thought our relationship was different and I contiued to pursue her.

One day we worked from home together at my place and it was very cute. A couple weeks later we ended up having sex, and I enjoyed it but didn't find it as romantic as I had hoped. Hangign at work was now stressful. I would consult my coworker- let's call him Brad- about the situation.

I eventually told her I wanted to be friends for now but I still like her and am insanely attracted to her. I felt a little better, but as this was going down she begins befriending Brad. He asked her to come over to which she declined. She then told me that it was nothing and nothing would ever come of it. At this time they are ssnapchatting and talking a lot more.

While she was gone on vacation I decided I would try ghosting her for my own benefit. She asked me to go to a dinner with a big group in a few weeks, including Brad, and I said I didn't wanna go. The truth is I don't wanna play bachelorette with this guy. I also stopped snapping her and eventually she sent me a sad face with a ":(" caption. I felt bad but I wanted to keep my distance. I was excited to see her this morning when she got back. Just now, I saw her and Brad hop in his new sports car and drive off. A part of me just died.

What do I do? She seems to be an attention whore. I don't like how it makes me feel and I sorta wanna cut them all off. Should I ghost her completely, cut off Brad, try to tell her how I feel, go to the dinner, tell my manager what's been going on? Most importantly, I don't want this to affect my work enviornment.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It can be difficult to deal with feelings for someone who is not reciprocating them, especially if they are showing interest in someone else. However, it's important to prioritize your own emotional well-being and to make choices that align with your values and goals.

If you feel that your coworker's behavior is negatively impacting your mental health or your ability to focus on work, it may be helpful to limit your interactions with her and to focus on building positive relationships with other coworkers or outside of work. You may also want to consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you process your emotions and develop strategies for managing your feelings and interactions with others.

It's generally not recommended to involve your manager in personal relationship issues, as this can be seen as unprofessional and may not be appropriate in a work setting. However, if your coworker's behavior is affecting your ability to work or creating a hostile environment, it may be appropriate to speak with HR or a supervisor about the issue.

Ultimately, the best way to cut off your feelings for your coworker is to focus on yourself and your own goals and interests. This may involve limiting or ending contact with her, seeking support from friends or a therapist, and exploring new hobbies or activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and that it's okay to prioritize your own well-being and happiness.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Think about it, do you really want to be in a relationship with an attention whore? Find yourself a girlfriend that only wants your attention Workplace romance usually turns into drama , so if you want to keep your job you are best to just let her go and do her thing, you don’t have to be enemies with her but keep your distance from her

PrettyPriya · Accepted Answer

Here is a good idea. How about go to work and... work. This is the problem with workplace romances. You really have no one to blame but yourself. This is what happens when they don't work out. They make for very awkward situations at best and disrupt work at worst.

Why do you care so much that she gets attention? Heck, you contributed to that. Also, why do you care if she is with "Brad"? You clearly were done with her and didn't want to continue any sort of relationship.

Unless I am not reading something right, you moved on and now wondering why she is with some other dude. Who cares if she said she wouldn't do anything with Brad before? She changed her mind. So be it. People change their minds all the time. She might even be doing to spite you for all these childish games going on (from both of you).

My best advice is not even give it a second thought, do your work and think twice next time you see a girl at work you find pretty. This is why so many companies have policies against relationships.

Iron_Man · Answer

It’s just a coworker. Find yourself a girlfriend.

Snedger____ · Answer

Flirt with other multiple girls

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

Brought it on yourself bud

How can I cut off my feelings for my coworker who talks to my friend and craves attention?

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