Wednesday she texts me saying that she is in a terrible mind space right now and is struggling giving attention and energy to her 1.5y/o baby that trying to maintain this relationship is super difficult and that she really really loves me and truly means that and I am a great man but can't maintain the relationship anymore. I replied with understanding and maybe we can try again in the future.
Saturday night comes around and I get a text from her randomly. It said just an update on something that was happening with her social media and family circle.
I was just supportive of her like always and pretty much said thats not cool this is happening to u.
She said "I just figured you wanted to know and I also didn’t want you to think I was on dating apps." I said "I didn’t think that was the case cause you said you needed to get your mind right but I'm not on them either". She said well you see how that’s going now lol.
So I just was like yeah that makes me angry with you. Can’t even imagine with all the other stuff going on. She says r you’re angry at me or with me. I said no not at you. With you. Then she goes “if you say so…”
Not even a minute later she says “Can I tell you that I miss you?” I was totally in shock and replied too quickly not even asking her what that even meant or why she is saying it. I said "You know you can tell me everything and that includes that. I miss you too but you probably already knew that lol
Then she says “I’m sorry…”
I said why you didn’t do anything.
She says “yes I did.”
I said You’re trying to get your mind right and work on yourself and the kid. You're doing what I always admired about you. That’s good... so no you didn’t do anything"
She never answered what she did or anything and 40 minutes later texts me again and just took the convo to another place. Saying hopefully I was able to enjoy the weather with my son and then she sent me pictures of her kid. I said thanks, she sent some more and I haven't heard anything since.
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You called her BLUFF. Now she is Stepping Back Some. Be careful. Go easy Here so You don't Get Hurt again. xxoo
Woah... I dont understand... can you elaborate a bit?
What was her bluff?
/How did I call it?
She reached out late last night at like 10:30. All it said was "I've been thinking about you a lot..." I tried to take my time to reply and I didn't know what I was going to say or if I was going to do no contact so about 30 minutes later I said "Hey you! I've been thinking about you a lot too" She never replied after that. Was my message too boring and she doesn't think I miss her or something?
Nott Boring, But like I am Myself, Cold feet now. xxoo
It sounds like she has a lot of mixed feelings.
She initiated the break up, but you’re a comfort to her.
A lot of people get back together after breaking up because they feel an emptiness set in that they’re not ready for.
She sounds conflicted, perhaps sorry for hurting you.
Maybe you two can talk things out. Perhaps breaking up with you was an impulsive decision that felt right in the moment, but no longer felt right after 3 days of no contact, after her mind cleared some more.
I personally don’t break up with someone unless I truly mean it and have thought about it for months with a clear mind.
But, some people make those decisions more emotionally and impulsively. And to each their own. I believe that this situation might be one of those moments. She broke up with you in the heat of the moment. And now, is regretting her decision.
Hello,
I appreciate your insight and she does tend to act rather quickly on things or push it into the back of her mind and totally try to forget about it. I thought that that was what she was doing (wanting to talk about being together again or at least text me more) when she said that she missed me and sent me photos of the kid, but I haven't heard from her she said this which was Saturday night so I am confused about that. I think the ball is in her court at the moment so do you think she will reach out again or?
You’re welcome. 🙂
If you want to save the relationship, I believe it would be best to reach out to her, especially with her mind being possibly being scatterbrained and her emotions in flux. She may need help being led to a more positive outcome as everything may be feeling overwhelming for her right now.
You can probably reach out and check in and let her know that she can feel free to contact you if she needs anything and that you’d like to work things out if she’s still open to trying again.
The silence is probably due to over-stress. I do that myself sometimes when I’m ultra stressed—I just go MIA.
Hello,
Thank you again. I just feel... I don't know... uncomforatble in a way if I reach out to her even though I want to. She is the one that wanted the relationship to end because of everything she is going through and couldn't maintain it while she is struggling to give love and energy to her kid let alone me. So since she is the one that wanted this I gave her the space and I even told her maybe we can try again in the future. But then she texted me on Saturday and then nothing since. I don't want to seem pushy or anything like that since SHE is the one that wanted the space. Can I DM you?
You’re welcome. 🙂
If she was the last one to DM you last, I believe it’s alright to reply.
As for giving her space, it’s good for you to not bombard her with anything, but also with situations like these, I believe it’s best to play things by ear.
When we’re emotional, sometimes we don’t mean what we’re saying 100%. So, it’s important to approach things like this intuitively.
If she’s actually waiting on you, it wouldn’t be bad to double check.
A simple, “Hey, I know that you said you wanted space. I just wanted to let you know that if you ever want to talk, I’m here.”
That way, you can be sure that the ball is in her court and SHE knows that the ball is in her court.
Sure, you can DM me. ☺️
She was the last one to reach out first (Saturday) but I was the last to answer (Saturday). OH shoot, I can't dm you lol. Can you try to DM me or maybe we can connect another way? I wanted to share something with you and maybe it would help?
It looks like you would need to follow me before I’m allowed to DM you. This may have something to do with Xper Lvl. 🤔
Just sent the follow
Awesome. Just sent you a DM. You should be able to view it by tapping on your profile icon, navigating to messages, and then tapping the the ‘Other’ tab. 🙂
She clearly cares about you and she probably feels bad because you're so nice to her. Not sure if she has romantic feelings towards you but if she's feeling bad about cutting things off then it probably means she knows she's being difficult however at this point in time she doesn't feel like she can improve or change things.
Maybe she feels like she's leading you on even though that wasn't her intention. Maybe she feels like a burden to you. Maybe she's just super insecure or is feeling too overwhelmed with life so that's why she's pushing you away. I don't know you should probably give her some space to process everything but also let her know that you will stick around for a bit and that you're there for her if/when she wants the support.