Girl and I agreed to just be friends. I asked out her roommate in front of her. Was that inappropriate?

[Anonymous]

This girl And I decided to just be friends, and said it was ok to see other people. She was the first to bring it up actually. We've still hung out for the past several months.

I was playing a board game with her at her place, and before I left, I asked out her roommate in front of her (there wouldn't have been a good way to be like "can I talk to you in private") without causing concern.

My friend didn't respond to me for two days, and today responded "yeah I was a bit surprised"

Yes, that was inappropriate, don't ask out her roommate

No that was fine. She may be processing it but not your problem

It could have been fine but you should have handled it differently

[8UniquelyBoring8]

It sounds like your friend may have been caught off guard by your actions, especially since you asked out her roommate in front of her. It's important to communicate clearly and respectfully in situations like this, and it's understandable that your friend may need some time to process her feelings. It's also important to respect the boundaries that you both established as friends, and to make sure that any romantic pursuits with her roommate don't interfere with that friendship. If you haven't already, you may want to have an open and honest conversation with your friend to address any concerns or questions she may have.

[Asker]

So should I tell my friend that she can ask me questions if she wants to, or should I just wait for her to ask them if she wants to?

Six months ago or so my friend and I decided to just be friends, she was the one who originally said that and said that she hoped to maintain friendship. We agreed it was ok to see other people.

Her roommate said she was seeing someone and declined the date

[8UniquelyBoring8]

If you want to maintain a healthy friendship with your friend, it might be a good idea to proactively communicate with her about your intentions and feelings. You can let her know that you value your friendship with her and want to ensure that your recent actions haven't affected it negatively. You can tell her that you understand her surprise and that you didn't mean to cause any discomfort or tension between you two.

It's also important to listen to her and give her the space she needs if she needs time to process her feelings. You can let her know that you respect her boundaries and want to make sure that any romantic pursuits with her roommate don't jeopardize your friendship with her.

As for offering to answer her questions, it's up to you and your friend's dynamic. If you think it would be helpful for her to have an open dialogue about the situation, you can certainly offer to answer any questions she may have. However, if you feel like she may need some space to process her emotions, it might be best to wait for her to initiate the conversation. Ultimately, prioritize your friend's feelings and make sure to communicate in a respectful and honest manner to ensure that your friendship remains intact.

[Asker]

Thanks for your input. Her roommate said she was seeing someone and declined the date (whether that's true or not). I'll probably reach out in a few days with some of the stuff you mentioned

[Cynicaldreamer]

Yeah, but not so much you asking out her roommate, but how you asked out her roommate and the timing.

It makes it seem like you were just going from one girl to another, or didn't think much of her. And you KNOW females talk, so she probably told the roommate you asked her out... and now you're trying to date the roommate? Dude. Nooo... lol.

I would have pulled the roommate aside, or asked the girl you asked out first would it be okay to ask out her roommate. As now she's probably... I won't say jealous, but feeling insecure, and not liking you very much.

[Asker]

I actually never "asked out" the first girl, I met her on an app. We were still friends And meeting up as friends for five or six months before I asked out her roommate. And my friend was the one who originally said she didn't want to date me

[heavymetalbrotha]

I mean as long as it was not meant as a dig then sure I mean she's not jumping for it so might as well try.

[Jack2589]

I feel like that was not inappropriate man you know you did nothing wrong

[Yannishka]

Just a pretty random time you picked to do that. If I was the roomie, I would think you'd go for someone else the next minute once I say no, like you did to the first girl, asking me out right away. I don't like being second choice and a guy asking me out right after asking out my friend makes him look sort of desperate in a way.

[Asker]

I was friends with the first girl for 5-6 months before this happened

[Yannishka]

That doesn't change the fact that I'd feel like second choice.

[Asker]

Even if the guy hadn't met you in that 5-6 months?

[Yannishka]

Yes, nothing for 6 months and suddenly you ask me out. Right after you got rejected by my friend. Still sounds like I'm a plan B

[Asker]

That's not how the situation went

[rachel776]

never ask out a girl in front of anyone else

[Asker]

Why not

[Asker]

What if the alternative is to not ask her out?