Is it just guys who fear being smothered in a relationship, because their partner is the curfew enforcer?

[Bethany22]

Many men use the excuse of not wanting to be in a relationship as being because they don't want to have to be back by a certain time at night. How come I never hear women having this same fear? Is it because men generally let their girlfriends/wives stay out late?

[DaveJord]

So, when I was married, every time I tried to go out and do anything with anyone other than my wife, she would make me pay for it. One way or another, she would suddenly get sick, or she would pick that moment to text me about not taking out the trash, but I hope you have a good time. So instead of dealing with the drama from her... over the years it just got easier to not do things, because it seemed every time I did, she would find ways to punish me for it. Over time I became isolated from my family, freinds and hobbits.

So, it really seemed all about manipulation and control to me... that's how it felt. Now she would say it had nothing to do with any of those things... but again it's how it made me felt and if she is not respecting my feelings, and how she makes me feel then at what point does her feelings become less important to me.

I would tell her that if she ever wanted to get out and do things with freinds, that I would never have problem with that. But she never had any freinds, and all she would do was bitch about my freinds.

[DaveJord]

And let me add as soon as I stopped doing things with my friends, all the bitching and complaints changed to the next thing, then the next thing... it was toxic as shit. But that the slippery slope we get ourselves into. We stop doing this one thing, then turns in to other things, so you stop those things, and then it becomes about one thing after another... never ends. But that's a toxic situation, it was a toxic relationship, and it was a ugly divorce. Decades of abuse and no step of the way can look back and say this woman ever cared for me and we were married for 24 years.

So, ask yourself... is this really that important to you? If it is and he is not going to change, then exercise your other choices and stop bitching at him about it. If you can not see that.. or if you think everything will be find once you get him doing exactly what you want him to do... then your in for world or hurt... because that rubber band can only be stretched so tight until it snaps back and leaves a mark.

If a man was a rubber band you stretch it that tight and that rubber band snapped... you would not blame the rubber band... but you could blame the man.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

I think single men and single women both probably have reasons to enjoy their noncommittal lifestyle, but perhaps men fear the loss of their personal time and space plays a bigger factor/is a greater concern as to why they want to be single.
on the rare occasion that my wife has a ladies night out, or I go out with friends, neither one of us really worries about what time we get home, we just follow some personal safety guidelines so that we get home safe and found.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

Thank you for inclusion for the MHO 😊

[sunflower00]

Why would you give your partner a curfew? They are an adult? I’d get if it was an issue like they were out super late every single night & you never saw them & they didn’t interact with the kids but otherwise like if my boyfriend is going to go out he can stay out until whenever as long as he doesn’t expect me to pick him up every time

[IceCreamSandwich]

Well for obvious reasons, women are usually more aware of and more strict about being out late at night. Most men don't think about it as much, so naturally we don't care as much about how late we or our partner are out. This isn't always the case, and I don't think it's a bad thing to have a partner who cares that you get home at a reasonable hour, but there can definitely be some tension when it's not agreed what both people are comfortable with.

[NathanDavis]

curfew enforcement? lol...

I'm not a child... and I am not replace a motherI however make sure to spend as much time as I can with her, but this is a choice... and whenever I need to be out or by myself, I'll let her know and they usually understand, lol

[Married_mature]

Men and women are different. Women expect men to be like them in the relationship. And that's wrong. Men may love a woman unconditionally and to any extent, but they like their freedom. And that's fair. Women should understand and give them some space.

[Peter_Penetrator]

I believe that if a couple are living together, both should respect each other’s boundaries. One of which is coming home at a decent hour. Depending on how deep your partner sleeps, coming home at all hours of the night can disturb their sleep. Plus when you come home at a decent hour, you have extra time to spend with your partner.

[McLlovin]

I think anyone telling a grown adult to be back by a certain time for no reason other then being insecure; needs to sit down and talk. Either your idea on what a relationship is supposed to be between the two of you isn’t aligned or they have some issues with you or within themselves that they haven’t healed from yet

[Anonymous]

why would i give my partner a curfew? i'm not his mother! what kind of relationships are people having? obviously with no trust. i trust him, he's a huge nerd playing dnd lol

i think it's more of wanting to be independent, have their own hobbies and friends, things to do outside of a relationship that is completely healthy. obviously the only thing i ask is if they made it to their destination safely and a general time of when they think they'll be home. that's it.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I have literally never had a woman try to tell me I had to be home by a certain time unless I had an actual appointment that she was reminding me of. Where are these uber controlling people so I know where not to visit?

[Jennz6]

I don’t know about other relationships, but I would just be the obedient wife and never go out if he doesn’t allow me to

[Sasha0426]

So, you like being abused and controlled? Alrighty then. Well, enjoy your future abusive relationship.

[Jennz6]

@Sasha0426 just submissive to my man

[Sasha0426]

You do realize you would be isolated from society and wouldn’t be able to socialize properly, right?

[Jennz6]

@Sasha0426 I’m not a socialite

[Sasha0426]

I can see that throughout your whole life people have told you what you could or could not do and never had a mind of your own.

[rigmarole]

I've never heard of anything like that and I definitely would dump any woman that thought that way.

[Vegasrunner]

Good question it's because most relationship dynamics are men begging women so the men don't have enough confidence to enforce boundaries on the women, but the women realize they can replace the man.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Nope, this happens in both women and men

[jahaims]

Neither gender has a "curfew" in a healthy relationship

[SUMAIREBRAHIM]

Different cultures here wife's obayes husband and husband obay wife
Friends comes second usually as couple stay close with eachother

[shortster]

I don't know. Maybe it is because women are nesters?

[Anonymous]

No. Because no woman is going to tell me what to do.

[Slim57]

I've never had a curfew or a girlfriend try to tell me what I can and can't do

[katiesmuff]

I've certainly never heard of this!

[RedInnocent68]

I don’t believe this to be true.

[Daffotul]

not totally

[Joker_]

yes.