I was wondering if it is just me or do women don't initiate messages?

[Anonymous]

Is it true women expect men to talk to them or it just means they are not interested?

[Little_Bumblebee]

I have crippling self doubt and insecurities.

And I have this constant worry in the back of my mind that people don't want to talk with me and that I'm a bother.

The more I like the person, the worse it gets.
It's the same with friendships and acquaintances, so not only romantically.

So usually I end up over thinking way too much, hardly texting of ever and that ends everything.

I only have a few friends where I don't get this feeling. But that's also literally because we have talked about the issue and such.

So yeah... practically all of the relationships I've been in had been because the guy took the initiative.
(I've tried taking the initiative and flirting with a few and it was never reciprocated or ended well, so it just reassured me of my insecurities)

[bobalife]

It depends… most women don’t like to do it because we find it attractive and masculine for the men to take initiative to express interest, take lead, or show he’s thinking of us. But some women are bold enough to message first too. I did read your comments, because she’s your girlfriend… it’s more than okay to express to her that it will also make you happy that she also initiate time to time :) I actually have a few guys tell me that before lol. It does help me to know what they like and I’ll be happy to do it.

[Asker]

So, it's not wrong that I am initiating with her? I do want to take a 1 week break

[bobalife]

We loved when a man initiates lol. You can also figure what’s her style in communication. So both your wants and needs can be satisfy ~

[Asker]

She likes to read my letters. Always makes hearts and tells me I am sweet. She didn't even call her love interest in the past even when I said she should. She would always want to message her and feel scared of it 🤭.

[bobalife]

Haha aww I can feel the love, how cute~ 🥹

[Anonymous]

Women only message men when you're really attractive to her and she's super interested. Like almost bordering on obsession. Or she only messages you when she's just gaming you. And odds are 90% of the time a woman messages you she's gaming you.

Hope that helps.

[Asker]

What do you mean gaming me?
So, is it a red flag she replies to me and gave me her address?

[ProbablyClueless]

A lot of women will tell each other that guys are supposed to do all the messaging to prove interest.

[HappyWoman34]

Women do hope for it, but men rarely approach me, so I approach them 😊

[Asker]

Ahh, thanks. I approach women. And the girl in question is in long distance with me

[HappyWoman34]

Yes, she wants you to message her first 😊

[Asker]

I hope she does 🙂

[HappyWoman34]

Yeah, so what are you waiting for? Go for it!

[Asker]

Alright I did email her more often but I was just a bit afraid she might feel suffocated. She didn't complain but you know girls can act so strange and just ghost

[HappyWoman34]

I didn’t know that. Usually I’m the one getting ghosted by guys lol

[Asker]

Hey good luck:), by the way you won't be ghosted if you had a guy like myself. I want to be loyal to her. If I was single I would have perhaps gotten with you 🙂. Best of luck 🤞

[HappyWoman34]

Thanks 😊. Good luck to you too

[Nikki1989]

I have messaging disabled on my phone, so people have to actually talk to me. Remember that, talking?

[Asker]

Actually I know someone, I write letters to her. That's why I want to ask. She and I both confessed love. I write to her postal letters before I got her number. I told her I want her number. Either she is playing games with me but she always says we are each others love.
She avoids showing me her photo and giving me her picture. She gave me her address though

[sheikalana]

How do you disable messages? I want to disable mine too.

[Asker]

@sheikalana it's in the settings.

[sheikalana]

That’s true. Although I think is changing and more women initiate conversation nowadays.

[Asker]

I don't know I don't want to feel desperate and clingy about it though but I really wished if she talked to me more. Opened herself to me 😌

[Tharithi]

Women don’t initiate. I strongly believe it’s a man’s duty. Even tho I really like him

[Asker]

So, do you think it's alright if I am the one who writes my girl letters first always? I really like it that honestly that I get to initiate but I thought maybe girlfriend likes to initiate as well. I am new to this long distance though. We write emails and letters, I more often than her though still it never felt like she is losing interest but still I was concerned

[Tharithi]

Maybe she feels u are not committed enough , women start initiating only when they feel secure. And therefore the question is do u provide that security

[Asker]

I sure do but I don't want to feel clingy about it. It's unattractive isn't it to be clingy?

[Asker]

We have been talking for 2 months now

[Tharithi]

Nahhh. Women love a man who’s all behind her. Haven’t u read possessive guy watt pad fictions by females? Omggg lol

[Asker]

Really? I haven't, what's it about?

[Tharithi]

Women love clingy possessive provider guys

[Asker]

I hope what you say is true. I am pretty clingy and hopeless in love but I don't want to be used and discarded.

[Tharithi]

Well why do u love her

[Tharithi]

How do u both look

[Asker]

She made me feel like man, I feel pain in my chest where heart is and you know Ienjoy the pain. I wish I could put a knife inside.
Honestly she is 40 and I am 33 and she made me feel special. I feel special about her too. She told me she loved me. I told her I love her too. She and I both think of each other. Sad thing is she just came out of a divorce and tells me she needs time to heal but I want to pursue her. She is really good person. No one made me feel this much love and affection. She made me forget my heartbreaks. She melted the ice around my broken hearts too.

[Tharithi]

Awwww that sounds beautiful. I understand she heals u but that might mean she’s a great friend. To love someone as a lover u need attraction

[Asker]

She find me handsome and yes I am attracted to her. I don't see her as a friend

[Tharithi]

Lol how do u both look , how tall are u both

[Asker]

I am 6, she is 5, 4

[Tharithi]

Damnnnn that’s freakin hot. Why is she pretty? Is she pretty or are u forcing the attraction

[Asker]

I am not forcing the attraction. I just feel love and strange pain in my chest everytime I talk to her or receive her mail and I just feel like gorging it out, my heart. She knows it and says she thinks I am sweet and lovely

[Tharithi]

U are just finding a great connection with her. It’s not romantic love. It’s just love

[Asker]

Maybe, I know what you think. She can use me and then she will discard me like everyone else does, is that what you want to say?

[Tharithi]

Nahhh. Am telling u are tryna use her in the pretence of love. U don’t even like her tbh. She just fills a void in u

[Asker]

I do love her. She doesn't fill just a void. I love her. I buy gifts for her. How can you say something after just a few words. I won't leave her. I want her to be wife to me

[Tharithi]

What? For that u need to feel sexual attraction. The difference between great friendship and a lover is sexual intimacy. And friendship is mandatory in both. Wdym marry her. Bro u are younger than her

[Asker]

I do want sex with her lol. When does age determine marriage?

[Tharithi]

Of course it does. Are u sure u are not a teenager? U seem Kiddish. Women are more mature than men. She probably needs to marry and settle

[Tharithi]

Is she even pretty?

[Asker]

I am not a Child. You talk like my toxic ex.
What's wrong if I marry her?
Yes she is pretty

[Asker]

I don't care what others think. She and lots of women her age have told me I am mature. I don't like young girls. They have hurt me a lot of times.

[Tharithi]

Bruhhh again u are trying to fill your void. U aren’t attracted

[Tharithi]

? where are u

[Asker]

I am here. What do you want? No one likes. I live in a fantasy world.
It's not a void I am trying to fulfill. I want her but I don't want to say something I regret later

[Tharithi]

Do u understand from the beginning it’s been about u. Never about why u love her? Listen to yourself

[Tharithi]

Lol u don’t even wanna tell her your feelings. There’s a saying a man who doesn’t have the courage for a proposal doesn’t have the strength to protect and provide

[Asker]

Lol, you don't know it 🤣🤣🤣. I did propose to her. She said she needs time. I said fine she can take time. We already exchanged Love you.

[Asker]

You are just making things up at this point just to see if I said the things I should.

[Tharithi]

What?

[Asker]

Look, I know you are trying to help but understand that she got out of a break up and I want to marry her. I am willing to fight for her. But look perhaps love is something you can't just get off the shelf.

I have made my intentions clear to her. She said she loved me too unless she lied

[Tharithi]

by the way what features do guys find attractive in a women

[Asker]

Honestly, I love physically fairer skin women. And I can be a big simp lol for them 😅.
Personality wise; I love her because she made me feel like a man, said I am mature, knows how to treat a lady 😅, and that she loved my straight forward approach

[Tharithi]

Ohhh so she’s fair? Can u describe her look?

[Asker]

😌 it's too private to say here. Are you black?

[Tharithi]

Nope

[Tharithi]

Follow me and message me

[Tharithi]

How she looks

[antelope51]

It depends on what the message is.