Why do most women want a dominant man, but hate being told what to do? Why will women obey their male boss, but argue and fight with their husbands?

Question

Alli112 · Accepted Answer

Why do most women want a dominant man?

Do they? Assuming this is even an accurate assumption, let's just say it's context dependent and that maybe "dominant" isn't necessarily the right word. Most people probably just want a partner who is confident and is able to make decisions easily when they aren't feeling decisive themselves. It's really about what the right balance is for your relationship.

But hate being told what to do?

Who likes being ordered around? People want someone who will readily and confidently suggest, not who will demand.

Why will women obey their male boss?

Why will women "obey" their female bosses? Because that's literally their job when they are at work. That's how employment works regardless of gender. Are women supposed to yell and argue or something while they're at work? Refuse to do their jobs. This argument is beyond tired.

But argue and fight with their husbands?
We argue because we have opinions. Men argue because they have opinions. Those opinions do not alway match up. Being able to argue with someone just means that you're on an even playing field. Being a married man doesn't give you unconditional preference in your opinions, and being a married woman doesn't mean you have to back down or give up your opinions and more than a man should.

A good partnership always both people to be expressive, confident, and decisive, and to share their options and receive respect from their partner.

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

Women want a dominant man to  protect them . Not necessarily dictate their entire life. They obey their male boss because there are limits to his authority. He cannot tell them what to eat, what to wear (dress codes excepted), how to walk, how to do their job (although they do try), how to wear their hair or what length to cut it, whether or not she should diet, how much sex she should give him, what meals are acceptable for dinner and which ones he doesn't like, how many kids he wants or doesn't want, etc.  Most women don't expect to be micromanaged and critiqued when they marry. They think they've found the love of their life and it hits a little weird when he starts telling her he wants her hair arranged a certain way, or that he wants her to get recipes from his mother and cook them, or that he has decided they should sell everything and start a circus. The same thing can happen with guys, too, and it's not OK then, either. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.  Giving vote-swaying power to only one party in the relationship does not prevent stalemates, it leads to resentment and it  avoids actual relationship . Just my perspective...

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

She wants a dominate man in the bedroom mainly , she also wants a man that can guide her and protect her and make her feel safe , Now don’t get me wrong , there are a lot of girls’ that have very selfish mindsets that think she should be catered to at all times and act like she is this princess that was sent down from above to be catered to , those girls’ you are best to just kick to the curb where they belong , but a girl that stands by you and has your back and is submissive to you , is a girl you should cherish, but understand you don’t own her , let her be herself , don’t demand her to listen to your commands , she is a human being , the only time you should put your foot down to a girl, is if she is crossing boundaries that you and her set together , if she is doing things that she told you that you couldn’t do to her? That’s when you put your foot down to her and make it clear to her, that she is wrong for her actions. Most men will try to control a girl by telling her what she can eat, what she can wear , who she can hang out with etc.. That isn’t love , that is control , you don’t own her. Guys’ that try to have that much control over a girl is digging his own grave , she is more than likely going to accept another man that doesn’t treat her like shit and she will be bouncing on his cock if you treat her like you own her. Mark my words , I been the other guy plenty of times

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

There a difference between a decisive man and a controlling one. But some can’t tell the difference and mistake one for the other. They will assume a decisive man is a dangerous control freak and reject him OR in they will mistake a control freak as masculine/confident (bad BAD scenario). Also more women are defying men and being nasty to them just for the sake of doing so thinking that makes them “strong and independent”. They don’t understand the “push and pull” the way confident men do.

It can also be a shit test to see if the guy will fold or stand his ground. And more men are failing shit tests because society is telling them to cave into women “or else” which leads to the disgusting irony of women being generally more unhappy with men even though most won’t admit it.

Overall the root cause for these problems is radical feminism. Even women who don’t identify as “feminist” are being influence by it. Even men who don’t subscribe to leftist bs are being negatively influenced by it.

Then you have the worst sort of men who “say” they are pro feminist to pay lip service but are actually the worst kind of abusers behind closed doors.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Obey? The only women who 'obey' are those who are frightened for whatever reason, be it the worry of being left on their own, being scared of what their husband would do to them if they DON'T obey!

Nah mate.. I couldn't live like that, knowing my wife was scared of me. I'd sooner live on my own.. We have a happy marriage and that for me that means BOTH of us speak up if or when something isn't right!

kwsmith2 · Answer

I think the confusion here is between what dominance looks like and what establishing dominance looks like. In traditional settings, establishing dominance may require using threatening or controlling language. Once dominance is established, there is no need for it.

Even in an all-straight male environment, someone who continued in this way would be considered a tyrant. Indeed, simply not going out of your way to be generous and fair will get you labeled an asshole at best.

Women are attracted to a man who has already established dominance, is confident and secure in that dominance, and is socially adept enough to be considered just and fair as a leader. In the ideal, he would also be considered wise and kind, but realistically, this is a lot for most men to live up to.

Intuitively, you can think of dominance as the majesty accompanying a King. Indeed, majesty means "greater-than-ness." Indeed, the word dominance itself comes from dominus, which means Lord of the Manor. A lord who constantly has to demand that his servants do this or that is not much of a lord.

So to establish dominance, you have to act in ways that highlight to everyone that you are not already dominant. It's similar to how trying to be cool is usually the least cool thing you can possibly do. In both cases, it can feel frustratingly difficult to increase your status.

Unfortunately, little can be done about it because that frustration is precisely what gives the status hierarchy stability and meaningfulness. If raising one's status were straightforward, then the hierarchy would collapse into a war of all against all as everyone tried to increase their status at the same time.

On the other hand, if status were completely fixed, it would slowly become meaningless. Over time, more and more smart, competent people would find themselves randomly trapped at the bottom, while more and more foolish, incompetent people would be likewise ensconced at the top.

dustybiker2 · Answer

Uh. None of the above. Supportive strength doesn't mean dominant. Male children can have the strength of ten grown losers. It's how they go about delivery of their presence.

Who do other men look up to? A dictator. Someone who flaunts how strong they tell everyone they are?

Or a man who has years of experience and shares his knowledge in an educational and non judgmental way? Most woman (unless damaged) look up to this one. He's someone everyone can learn from. A natural leader.

Lliam · Answer

Who likes being told what to do?

When someone signs up for employment, they accept that there are rules and there is a hierarchy. If you don't like it, you can quit or be fired.

But marriage isn't signing up for employment or servitude. A husband who tells his wife what to do will be resented. If he thinks he can tell his wife what to do, he is a dumb ass who shouldn't be married in the first place.

Would he allow his wife to tell him what to do? No? Then he's a hypocritical douche bag who doesn't know how to be a team player. He doesn't know how to communicate. He doesn't know what love is.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

Woman are children never forget that. They need to be fed, they need to have someone pick them up when they have an oopsie, they need a lot of attention and most importantly they need to be kept entertained.

The best way is by making the problem for them and allowing just enough room for their minds to go in a predictable direction.

A lot of the "Alpha" dudes are really just teasing them. The woman wants to play the game because she's a child and when she sees a certified player it's like a shiny object. She knows that the guy does the same game with other woman and doesn't realize that she's not earning his respect at all he's just cooking his meal so to speak.

Ehh wish I could have worded that better.

Point stands

Kelley1 · Answer

That is because the boss has the right to fire her, backed up by the government. In a marriage women have all the rights backs up by the government and family courts; and there is nothing the husband can do about it other then get divorced, lose his house, his children, and pay his wife a good portion of his income.

CalmUntilAbused · Answer

Oh, they don't hate being told what to do. However, there is some granulation to being dominant. I guess being a despot would be a serious issue.

As to why they obey their male boss while arguing with their husbands... If they argued with their boss, they'd risk getting fired on the spot and they don't really have a lot to gain. With husbands, arguing and fighting is a kind of "shit test", a way to test whether their man has any self-respect or inner strength and is therefore capable of providing them with the sense of security they need. If they overdo this, though, it's a major red flag.

MrOracle · Answer

The problem is that a lot of women want to be able to switch their choice whenever it suits them - they want all the advantages and privileges that comes with a dominant man, but with none of the responsibilities that come with that, and they want him to suddenly become an equal whenever she decides that she doesn't agree or she wants to virtue signal her independence.

It's like buying a big F350 Super Duty pickup but expecting the low price and high mileage of a Honda Civic. You can't have both in the same vehicle - but that's what many women want. Worse, their Feminist friends gas them up and tell them that, not only CAN they get whatever they want, but they DESERVE to get it.

There's no reasoning with such women - they are best avoided. While they are hard to find, choosing a woman with more traditional values will greatly simplify your life. And they do exist, they just aren't very common. They can still be found if you put in the work.

TonyV · Answer

Well for starters you seem to think being a male makes you dominant and that's not the case. Dominant needs some sort of power dynamic which could be why she listens to her boss ( or she dosent want to get fired for not doing her job, crazy thought).
I assume you lack any said power dynamic, she has a job which means she could live independently, you aren't the soul bread winner so you aren't providing her with money, food or home... so why would she be submissive to you? You two sound partners that put in equal work so why would she praise your half? She did the other half.

What do you do for her that she can't do for herself?

Anonymous · Answer

Cause the boss can fire her ass and the husband agreed to love, honor and cherish for better or for worse. So the woman KNOWS she push that boundary.

But this all comes down to one fact about women. I've always said ALL WOMEN have a little bit of crazy in them. What separates the good ones from the bad ones is the good ones do thier level best to control it. While the bad ones let's it control them. To put it another way all women have crazy, irrational thoughts. The good woman knows she's being irrational and even though she'll get a little crazy she'll pull it back under control. While the bad woman will set fire to your car and then say "YOU CAUSED THIS"!

Do you see the distinction?😆😆😆

Agape93 · Answer

Why do most women want a dominant man, but hate being told what to do?
We like someone who knows what they want in life and can handle life's issues. But that ends when you start trying to control them or be a dick.

Why will women obey their male boss, but argue and fight with their husbands?
Because the husband can't fire us.

nolabels · Answer

I don't think that G@G would allow me to post a reply that's the length of War and Peace, man.

Sorry.

That's like asking what's on the other side of a black hole.
It'd tear me apart trying to finish the research in order to come up with the truth of the matter.

That's above my pay grade.
Way above.

animalwithin · Answer

Because modern women don't have a damn clue what they want. They want to run the world but then want to be dominated and led by their man. The two are mutually exclusive and women can't seem to understand that so they're running around thinking they're the shit because they're independent and empowered and making money but then also complaining that there are no more good men out there. There are, but we don't want anything to do with masculine, boss-bitch women.

For a woman to be okay with being dominated and submissive, she must first be feminine and many women in today's world have lost that, sadly. Regarding fighting with husbands, women test a man constantly so the fighting is there way of testing whether or not you'll stand up to them. Most men buckle.

Miah04 · Answer

I never heard anyone i know, and i never said i wanted a dominate man.

If i am dating a man, i want a man. Someone i know can protect me, not dominate me or control me.

I'm not a slave, who needs permission from my partner. I want someone who respects me and will treat me like an equal.

Not treat me like I'm their child.

Who wants to date someone who treats them like a child, that is to be ordered around?

RavVid · Answer

It s fairly obvious if a woman argues with her boss as she might with her husband then she will be sacked. No more complicated than that.

Women pick fights for attention. It is a negative way to get attention but it is still attention. There is an element of continually testing her husband and seeking dominance over him.

jennyPuss · Answer

You are mistaken. Women don't want dominant men. They want others to think their man is dominant so that they can let him claim all responsibility in the court of public opinion. But in reality behind closed doors, it's happy wife, happy life.

BetaBucks · Answer

Because they want a dominant man. A weak man telling them what to do is going to make them angry or nauseated. And if she's submitting to other men in her life, her needs for submission are already being fulfilled, so she sure af won't want to also submit to her weak husband.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Dominant men are toxic. Who wants that in their life?  You have to remember most men are immature till they reach 30 if you are lucky, so they are still pushing the alpha male BS.

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

For me, it depends on how we are told of what to do. If it's done in a tasteful, educational, and respectful way, and if it's the right thing to do.. I listen. A man who can be a leader and gentle at the same time? Damn, that's hot.

For the boss vs. husband.. I don't have a husband. But I see IRL scenarios like: the working wife is too tired from work and just wants to relax. Also, hormones make women moody.. in general.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

dominant men are toxic... and I definitely prefer partnership... so a mature, assertive man who likes to play with the fire... :D

Anonymous · Answer

how weak do some people have to be to have a problem with being told what to do?

do these same idiots argue back to the cops too?

and don't get me started on the women who cheat on their husbands with their bosses who would dispose of them from the workplace simply because the bosses display more dominance and the husbands display more submissiveness (sometimes forced upon by the backing of the government)

NathanDavis · Answer

never had this issue... but also, I've never really been with most women... only four of them, lol

4ngelic · Answer

i dont think most women want a dominant man, just a masculine man. anyways like at work you kinda have to obey you boss, you can't avoid it unless you want to get fired. but in your personal life you can avoid obeying someone

Anonymous · Answer

Don’t waste your time with inconsistent women. Women like this will make your life a absolute living hell. Find someone you genuinely love and loves you.

mobiusforniner · Answer

hmmm, a lot of depends on your delivery. Most people - not just women - don’t like taking orders from a jackass, so maybe start there.

SkatPak392 · Answer

I think we should all just hang back and give these women what they want...

If American women don't want to be dominated, American men should say fuck it, leave this god forsaken country or sit back and let Islam take over the country..

let's see how American women like living under Sharia Law.

I'm not willing to save a country full of women that hate me.

Taylor_C · Answer

An employee who doesn’t follow the boss’ orders will get fired

MzAsh · Answer

Don’t want a dominant man and don’t want a dominant boss either. I’ve had a very laid back and soft supervisor and although personalities like that might not always be the best leaders, it’s been the best job I’ve had where I’m the employee… by far.

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

It's probably the way some men go about it. You can be assertive while still being respectful.

OhLongJohnsoning · Answer

Noone truly wants to be told what to do, who honestly wants that? However, I get what you're saying. Women tend to like a guy, in a position of power, mainly because he's the one making the money

JonCobretti · Answer

A woman argues and verbally fights with you just because she secretely wants you to punish her for it

SugarSugarplum · Answer

Shhh. Let me share a little secret...  We're kinda nuts!

Anonymous · Answer

A man and woman in a relationship should be equals, but the man should take the dominant role in the bedroom. In the office, it depends on titles, roles, seniority, etc

Anonymous · Answer

Most will listen to a STRONG man and will argue and fight with a WEAK man. Most men are weak.

katiesmuff · Answer

The husband isn't paying you to work!

Brittanyroseee · Answer

Oh I fight my male authorities too. I will argue with anyone

dolemite58 · Answer

They live in a constant state of cognitive dissonance…

TemplarKnight · Answer

Because they dont know what they want, and because feminism. They'll happily get their boss a coffee but tell their husband to Fk off

Anonymous · Answer

masculinity really does not mean a controlling man or treating a woman like she is a child who doesn't know what she is talking about

KrisKris81 · Answer

Dominant Vs Domineering. Boss equals paycheck, husband equals comfort and trust

jahaims · Answer

They want a masculine man not dominant

CharlieCutePredator · Answer

This is a shitty question

paledreams · Answer

I guess they're a walking contradiction :)

Why do most women want a dominant man, but hate being told what to do? Why will women obey their male boss, but argue and fight with their husbands?

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