Is it worth dating someone with avoidant attachment style?

[Kaamraj]

I am dating this girl who seems to not be there 80% of the time. I mean I try to be the best person influence in her life. I tell her not to drink, to go out often, to reach work on time, eat well, exercise. She has told me repeatedly that please be in my life because you are the only person that wants something good for me. And that she's sorry that she can't show enough affection towards me that she should.

I mean she says all these good things, but then she gets angry at me for the smallest things and her only weapon is to block me everywhere; social media, calls, and I have to run after her. I think the last straw is that a month ago she blocks me from everywhere and later I got to know she had this dream where a spirit told her that I was cheating on her.

I really think that she acts and gets to act crazy because she's good looking and has tens of men gassing her up.

[Oliverlogan263]

Bro, it sounds like you're right that she has some avoidant attachment issues going on. The hot-cold push-pull behavior and blocking you over minor things is a red flag.

People with avoidant styles struggle with intimacy and vulnerability. They often crave independence and distance in relationships to feel secure. It makes it really hard to get close without activating their avoidance triggers.

As for her dream “spirit” accusing you of cheating, that’s just her insecurities running wild. You can’t take that stuff personally. But it also shows a lack of trust on her part, which avoidance tends to breed.

At the end of the day, you can’t change her attachment style or make her get healthy overnight. And constantly running after her every time she blows up isn’t fair to you either, man. She needs to put in her own work on that.

Only you can decide if it’s worth it dealing with that push-me pull-you dynamic long-term. But I’d set some boundaries if you do want to keep seeing her - like not blocking contact to solve issues. Protect your peace first bro.

[DishLady]

Nope.