Is having dating preferences shallow?

[Political_dude]

Yes, it is

Yes, It is. only if you have physical preferences

Yes, It is. only if you have intellectual preferences

No, it isn't

[LegateLanius]

Not at all.
Whenever I challenge people who shame physical attraction, they always reveal they’re no better than the people they judge.
Take being a short guy, for example. A lot of shorter guys get angry at women who like tall men. This is something i have seen as well.

They’ve heard the old saying, “I want a man who’s tall, dark, and handsome.” They read women’s online dating profiles that talk about their height preferences. They get frustrated when some girls don’t respond to their OKCupid messages.

Then they come to me with…

“These women are shallow bitches. They won’t even give me a chance. If they stopped obsessing over height, they’d see how great of a guy I am.”

Then I flip the script on these guys. “Let me ask you…do you message or talk to girls you’re physically unattracted to? What if a woman was severely overweight? What if she had messed-up teeth and stringy hair? Would you look past those things to give her a chance?”

The answer is almost always no. Then they start backtracking and trying to justify how their situation is different.

No, it’s not different. Because we’re all attracted to different things. We all prioritize certain values higher or lower on our list.

Much of this is built into our biology or upbringing. We don’t choose what we’re attracted to.

[SC4321]

Not at all. People are attracted to different things, we can't help it. If someone isn't what you are looking for It's not shallow to politely decline and keep looking. Just because you aren't attracted to someone doesn't mean someone else won't be. We all have to be with someone we like and are attracted to or relationships wouldn't work out.

[Anonymous]

no it is not shallow to have dating preferences. It's just that you know what flavor ice cream you want, and what will make you happy. That does NOT make you shallow.

Shallow means that you only like someone for their looks. Dating preferences means you like someone for
-good moral/character
-intelligence
-good hobbies
-good career goals
-good hygiene
-social skills are high up there in the "awesome" category
-emotional intelligence is up there as well
-logical and great decision maker
-can problem solve very quickly and intelligently
-makes good financial decisions and goals
-proactive and calm person
ETC ETC

[YOUTOOSHOULDJUDGE]

Nice

[CubsterShura]

Here is the rule: it's okay to have a preference, it's not okay to ridicule others for not having your preferred trait.

Such as, a woman preferring an 8-inch dick is okay. But ridiculing a man for not having that size with complete disregard towards his other traits is shallow af.

I have preferences as well, but I can't expect my man to have all of them 100%. I don't want to end up with the guy that I love, I want to love the guy that I end up with. <3

[eagle124]

Right on girl

[Hurlyburly]

I think it depends. Having some preferences is absolutelly normal, everyone of us does have his own taste when it comes to sexual attraction. But dating someone simple because they look hot and completely ignore their shitty personality, that would be shallow to me.

[Berethor]

You expect people to take everything that find on the road? it's not smart to do so. Many preferences make sense, others less so, but it's good to have an preferences. Also someone who don't have preferences is likely to be very shallow as well, like someone who only looks for one-night stands. In fact people who looks for serious relationship tend to be more choosy, for obvious reasons.

[mrinconspicuous]

The way your question is worded/framed is too ambiguous. It depends on what the preferences are. Like if you're only preference is a girl needs to have big tits... then yes, shallow. If however your preference is someone of equal intelligence to you... well you get the picture.

[mrinconspicuous]

oops "your"

[Bananaman177]

Not all preferences are necessarily "shallow."

But yes, if you're only concerned with the superficial, you could say that you have shallow preferences, and in general I'd say that's unwise. You should try to be picky about people's personalities, not just use them as sex toys.

Unless that's clearly what both parties are into, and if they're honest and upfront, then whatever, I guess.

[MichaelN1991]

No unless, you are just looking for sex. We are programmed to have physical preferences, and personality so that we can get a long with each other. I find darker haired women extremely attractive, Latino and italian. Just the way it is. However, if a girl really gets a long with me then physical preferences are less important, but I'm still going to date someone that I also find sexually attractive.

[YOUTOOSHOULDJUDGE]

No, because I assume you mean dating as in LTR, possibly marriage in the future. Not to be blunt but a certain physical look doesn't get my dick hard. Requires more than just a vagina. Certain personality, moral characteristics are deal breakers. If more people were shallow instead of setting there would be fewer divorces.

[Bliss-taylor]

I think just having physical preferences is shallow. It is literally meaning little depth. So if you have preferences they should include more meaningful deeper things but over all dating preferences are not shallow.

[ThreeSheetsToTheWind]

Some preferences are shallow, yes. Particularly when they are not just preferences but absolute requirements (not that all dating requirements are shallow).

I don't really think having preferences in itself makes you shallow, however. It's just human nature and it is merely a way of weeding out potentially incompatible romantic partners.

[cavmanier]

Your question is like asking if preferring certain foods is bad. It's natural to seek things that bring pleasure, even if it's against social justice warrior ideology.

[Mitch6192]

People like what they like, you can't chage that.

You can however lose respect for someone depending on what those requirements are.

[samhradh_leannan]

Everyone has preferences, it's natural. It's only shallow if your preferences are superficial and overly particular.

[_bunny_]

i have preferences its not shallow its just what your looking for but if you have crazy expectations then I don't know what to tell you bro

[SirRexington]

Everyone has preferences, but that does not mean it is set and stone. That's why its only a preference.

[effyourfeelings]

Yes
all dating preferences are shallow
But there really isn't anything wrong with it cause it's normal and it's in our natural instincts

[pleasestopthis]

We all have preferences when choosing a partner. It depends on what preferences those are; if they are all related only to the physical appearance of your partner, it is.

[JimRSmith]

No, not at all.

You like what you like, and you have every right to do so.

[SketchForger]

Preferences don't truly mean anything, especially if they are physical. I'll know if I love you or not by being around you, not by looking at you. Of you're a minefield to talk to, then goodbye.

[Coconut_Man]

Dating is shallow, so having preferences isn't wrong.

[PoliceLivesMatter]

Depends what they are

[Political_dude]

30 seconds lol

[anmari2001]

Preferences are for people with options

[Coconut_Man]

MHO ^

[YOUTOOSHOULDJUDGE]

Exactly

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

No, it isn't shallow to have dating preferences.

[RedThread]

Nah we all have shit like that

[1derfulguy]

No, that is a completely insane idea.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Not one bit. Not having standards is shallow.

[ladsin]

Nope

[rgb008]

no lol

[Pocahontas2000]

Nope.

[ultimega]

No it isn't.

[Igrishu]

No, it's not.

[2opaz]

Women are shallow

[CT_CD]

Yes, it is

[rockrewls]

Nope!!

[ovoxo_]

No they're not

[BronzedAdonis]

Nope

[BOUNTYGUY9]

l date any girl