- Yes, it is
- Yes, It is. only if you have physical preferences
- Yes, It is. only if you have intellectual preferences
- No, it isn't
Most Helpful Girl
no it is not shallow to have dating preferences. It's just that you know what flavor ice cream you want, and what will make you happy. That does NOT make you shallow.
Shallow means that you only like someone for their looks. Dating preferences means you like someone for
-good career goals
-social skills are high up there in the "awesome" category
-emotional intelligence is up there as well
-logical and great decision maker
-can problem solve very quickly and intelligently
-makes good financial decisions and goals
-proactive and calm person
Most Helpful Guy
Not at all.
Whenever I challenge people who shame physical attraction, they always reveal they’re no better than the people they judge.
Take being a short guy, for example. A lot of shorter guys get angry at women who like tall men. This is something i have seen as well.
They’ve heard the old saying, “I want a man who’s tall, dark, and handsome.” They read women’s online dating profiles that talk about their height preferences. They get frustrated when some girls don’t respond to their OKCupid messages.
Then they come to me with…
“These women are shallow bitches. They won’t even give me a chance. If they stopped obsessing over height, they’d see how great of a guy I am.”
Then I flip the script on these guys. “Let me ask you…do you message or talk to girls you’re physically unattracted to? What if a woman was severely overweight? What if she had messed-up teeth and stringy hair? Would you look past those things to give her a chance?”
The answer is almost always no. Then they start backtracking and trying to justify how their situation is different.
No, it’s not different. Because we’re all attracted to different things. We all prioritize certain values higher or lower on our list.
Much of this is built into our biology or upbringing. We don’t choose what we’re attracted to.4