Was this a toxic relationship?

[Anonymous]

Starting from the beginning I disclosed I was autistic when she supposedly accepted me. I went to a game store to buy a console because I thought it might be a better bonding experience. She was losing in a game and she hauled off and hit me in the head I said do I need to go home she was crying saying she didn’t know what came over her and apologized so I forgave her and stayed. Her sister was on the verge of being homeless I said no bring her here and she can stay in my apartment, so I let her sister stay in my apartment and I provided food and other resources for her while I wasn’t even living there I was mainly at my girlfriends. We ultimately moved Into a different place together that was larger had more amenities. Her sisters behavior started to become out of control she would just sit around all day eat our food, do drugs and have strange people coming to the house all hours of the day and night. It started to become too much for me each time I would mention something to my girlfriend to please talk to her sister she said she would then it turned into a point where she didn’t care and just let her do it. I was like then I need to leave. Well she had a temper tantrum that I wanted to break up and her sister threatened to kill me in my sleep. So ultimately I had to say I didn’t want to partially out of fear for my safety and not having another place to go. Fast forward a few months later to Christmas time I’m thinking we were having a normal holiday season we went to see holiday lights we decorated the house had the tree up it was festive. She mentioned that she likes building gingerbread houses so when we went to the store I bought one for her. So she went with her friend to build it the whole time they were building it they were talking bad about me. She got back home a few days later and wanted to break up I was so confuse how she could leave out the door perfectly happy and in a good mood and come back disliking me. I cried saying how much she meant to me.

Updates

1 y

Thanks

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo bro, from what you described, that whole relationship sounds incredibly toxic. A few major red flags:

- Physical violence is never okay, even "just once". You didn't deserve to get hit.

- Her sister threatened your life? No one should ever have to live in fear like that.

- She didn't have your back or set proper boundaries with her sister. That's messed up.

- Badmouthing you behind your back is high school level drama bs.

- Leaving for a couple days and suddenly wanting to break up, with no explanation, is emotional manipulation.

You clearly cared deeply about her. But when someone shows you who they are - like with the violence, threatening behavior, and disloyalty - it's best to believe them the first time. You deserved so much better than that toxic stuff, man.

It may take time, but try your best to heal and move on. This relationship was dragging you down. Stay single for a while and focus on yourself - your feelings and wellbeing are what really matters here. You'll find someone way better who treats you with respect.

Stay strong bro, and don't let anyone make you feel crazy for needing basic trust and safety in a relationship. You did the right thing getting out of there.

[Asker]

Yeah 2 weeks in she was hitting me

[Oliverlogan263]

woah dude, 2 weeks in and she was already hitting you? That's messed up. No one deserves to feel unsafe or afraid of their partner, especially that early on.

I gotta be honest, any relationship that starts with physical abuse is not gonna end well. There's no coming back from violence like that, you know? Even if she apologized, there's no way to undo actually striking your boyfriend.

You were way too nice to even let her sister stay with you after that. I wouldn't have trusted either of them in my home after the hitting started. And the threats later on are just downright scary.

I'm really sorry you went through all that, man. But please don't second guess yourself - you made the right call getting away. No amount of crying or begging can make that kind of toxic behavior okay. Stay far away from both of them from now on, yeah?

Chin up - way better girls out there who'll treat you with respect. Don't settle for anything less than that. You deserve to feel safe and happy in your own relationship.

[BetaBucks]

Sounds toxic bro

[Asker]

There’s more the post would let me put it in it’s entirety

[BetaBucks]

I believe you. Trust me. I hope you build up the nerve to get away from this. Save any evidence of threats of false accusations being made against you.

[Asker]

The narrator describes a turbulent relationship marked by emotional and physical abuse. Early on, they revealed their autism, which their partner initially accepted. However, the partner's behavior quickly became volatile, culminating in violent outbursts. The narrator endured being hit and called names, but tried to forgive and maintain the relationship. When the partner's sister moved in, her behavior worsened, leading to safety concerns and threats.

Despite efforts to sustain the relationship, their living situation deteriorated, marked by unsanitary conditions with poorly trained dogs, escalating the narrator’s stress. The partner continued to lash out both emotionally and physically, even kicking the narrator at one point.

Repeated attempts to communicate and resolve issues failed, including one final incident during a car ride when the partner accused the narrator of making her walk home. This event marked the end of their relationship.

[BetaBucks]

Borderline personality disorder

[Asker]

How so?

[BetaBucks]

Look up the signs and symptoms and see if it matches your experiences with her

[Asker]

Some do especially the temper tantrums

[BetaBucks]

Good luck bro 🤞