Girls, do you like to take initiative, if the guy you like is too shy?

[Anonymous]

Girls, do you like to make the first move, if you like a guy who is very shy?

Guys, do you like it when girls take initiative?

Yes - I'm a girl and I like to take initiative

No, - I'm a girl and I don't like to take initiative

Maybe - I'm a girl, sometimes I like taking initiative, sometimes I don't like it.

I'm a guy and I like it when girls take initiative

I'm a guy and sometimes I like when girls take initiative, but not always

I'm a guy and I don't like it when girls take initiative

I don't care either way

A total of 63 votes were cast: 25 girls and 38 guys. See detailed results

[coolnamepending]

I will if I absolutely know they are to shy to speak with me.
But if they seem like they are playing a game. No I won't.

[MoonFace2]

Yes, I definitely do.

[MoonFace2]

I don’t see it as desperation. More that when you look a certain way, guys that are decent and attracted to you are virtually always too shy to make the first move. (Take for instance, me). I’m quite pretty, so the only guys who aren’t too shy to approach me (that are genuinely attracted); are playboys. If I didn’t always make the first move, I’d still be a virgin.

[MoonFace2]

Would you describe yourself as a ‘shy guy;’ that’s generally too shy to make the first move?

[Asker]

Yes, that sounds just like me.

[MoonFace2]

Well, I can’t say it’s wrong. However, I suggest that you try making friends with women and getting to know them, flirting a bit.

[Asker]

I have women as friends, but I don't know how to flirt.

[MoonFace2]

Oh; are you attracted to any of them?

[MoonFace2]

If you are, you could try asking one out for lunch.

[Asker]

Yes, I'm attracted to some of them. I guess I could invite them for a lunch, or a coffee, would that be a better idea or it doesn't matter?

[MoonFace2]

Start with a coffee, then ask to extend it to lunch?

[MoonFace2]

Flirting, I’m not much of a flirt either. You could give them a compliment about how pretty they look and touch their shoulder or brush their hair out of their eyes while you’re talking to them?

[Asker]

Ok, I'll start with a coffee and later -. lunch.
But I'm afraid if I touch them, they might get mad at me.

[MoonFace2]

Then just say you like them and ask them out for now.

[MoonFace2]

Lmk how it goes 😊

[MoonFace2]

Add me on here if you want any more advice.

[Asker]

Ok, I'll add you :)

[VIVANT]

Doesn’t matter to me if he’s shy or not. If I’m interested in someone I do not really like guessing games and I didn’t like wasting time so I’ll make some kind of small move and he’s interested in getting to know each other I guess we’ll do that, and if not, I’ll move on. I hate games.

When I was younger, I’d play games by not on purpose but as a consequence of my disposition…bc I wasn’t comfortable having any emotions so I’d ignore them and by default would not recognize interest in anyone.

So if I was Interested I wouldn’t see it. This lead to misunderstandings that I guess in retrospect were not mis understandings but an understanding in a twisted context. And that could have been felt like as a game to the guy, I guess?

anyhow I do not do that anymore so now I’m just direct, if I’m curious. I ask. I hate games. I do not see any reason to wait for someone else to do something (unless I want to play games) and I do not want to attract guys who prefer games, so it’s really best i am direct upfront.

[IHateBeingaMan]

"C'mon... women will never, ever, ever, ever and ever approach a guy! Period! It's not her role to do that despite the progression women have made in society at large; i. e., salary, jobs, positions, women in military, etc... Gentlemen, regardless if a woman is a CEO of company, a government official, 5 star General, department head in a company, women are still women. You can't change that. It's your inner strength, your character, your personality. It's demonstrating you have high value, are self-amused, your value doesn't come from women but from your own life!"

I read that long post years ago, and unfortuneately, i agree with him, women making the first move, women asking a guy out or just women being the initiator when forming a relationship, i see men always being stuck with that whether they like it or not, hence why most chronically alone single people in the world are male-dominated.

[Asker]

Actually, I know two guys who were lucky enough to be approached by a girl, but it never happened to me.
The world is male-dominated because of the patriarchal religions, especially Judeo-Christian-Islamic.
Nevertheless, if people teach their daughters to take initiative, they will start making the first move.

[IHateBeingaMan]

interesting

[Matt_M]

For some of us, it isn't a matter of shyness. It's not wanting to make a wrong move and inadvertently violate her boundaries. It isn't exactly unknown for men to misread a woman's level of attraction and initiate unwanted physical contact.

The decision to air on the side of caution often has more to do with not wanting to be misperceived as a sexual predator than it does with shyness. If you're a woman who is put off by men not making the first move, then you should be grateful that he places enough importance on your feelings of safety to not want to press the issue.

[lowkanymous]

me personally i usually like loud outgoing guys, but i also like somewhat being in charge or knowing that i can make them nervous. when i do like a shyer guy im pretty outgoing so it's fun to be able to make the first move every once in a while, but if they're too shy to try to make a move back, i don't like that.

[IslaTheWitch]

if he is so shy that he can't show he likes me... no... it won't work

in general, I'm the one who often makes the first move, but for this, I need to feel we are on the same page...

[myloveforuisinfinte]

I like extroverted guys more. This never happened in my case.
I can take initiative, it's not a big deal for me.

But if a guy is too shy and want princess treatment all the time. Then NOOO

[Xoirwinkan]

I think a lot of girls won't take the initiate to save their lives, but I think it's a doable goal for girls to give easier hints to men. Men aren't great at reading female hints, so make it a little easier for us.

[Asker]

Unfortunately, girls who take initiative are very rare, and I can't read "hints" at all.

[marshmallowcream]

He’ll no , I wouldn’t want to date someone that’s too shy. Confidence is the most attractive thing

[Dargil]

Given todays ultra-woke climate, they should including initiating sexual intimacy. That doesn't mean men are weak, just practicing good self defense.

[TheOGDUFF]

Well the fact that men don’t approach me, I always have to do it, but I’m always rejected or given their number out of pity and they just never respond when I text them.

[Asker]

That's odd, most guys don't reject girls just like that.

[TheOGDUFF]

I’m not good looking lol, it’s either rejection or they just want sex and I don’t want to put myself through that.

[Asker]

Of course, you shouldn't put yourself trough that.

[VIVANT]

If that’s your picture you are gorgeous?

[TheOGDUFF]

@VIVANT Awee thank you, sorry I forgot about this website for a bit.

[MemeSupreme]

you'll get hints that you should pick up on lol

[Asker]

I don't get their hints.

[MemeSupreme]

that's on you then lol

unless if they just suck at it

[Asker]

I think it's on damn patriarchy teaching girls to be passive/submissive.

[justagirl9905]

If I like him yes 😁

[susie22]

I have done that in the past.

[Kayleigh2005]

No, like loud and rough type

[Nikki1989]

No, I was never that desperate.

[Anonymous]

They only do it when the guy is a hot Chad.

[Asker]

Unfortunately :(

[Anonymous]

Just doesn't seem possible

[Asker]

I know some girls do it, but I was never as lucky as some other guys.

[Anonymous]

I like girls who like to take initiative.

[strateguy632]

yepp

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Nope.