Why a girl who rejected me wants to be so friendly?

[Anonymous]

We were seeing each other for some time. She had a crush on me for a long time. We kisses few times and went out. Then out of nowhere she rejected me. It was two years ago. We unfortunataly see each other pretty often cuz we got a lot of mutual friends. We talk normally but i kind of want to keep a distance. She is really extroverted so she behaves in a warm way to almost everyone. I just dont like when we meet for example and she wants to hug me or wishing for a birthday or something a kiss, touching my beard, and stuff. I just dont like it, i dont want to hug her or stuff, when i kind of avoid that hug she gets pissed off and says i dont like her. I dont get this.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that sounds like a really awkward and confusing situation with this girl. The fact that she rejected you, but is now acting all warm and friendly, even going so far as to get upset when you don't reciprocate her physical affection, is really strange.

My guess is that she's either feeling guilty about rejecting you and is trying to keep you as a friend, or she's just an overly affectionate person in general and doesn't realize how uncomfortable it makes you feel. Either way, it's understandable why you'd want to keep your distance.

The hugging, the beard touching, the birthday wishes - that's all pretty intimate behavior, especially given your history. I can see why you wouldn't be comfortable with it, especially if you're trying to move on from the rejection.

My advice would be to have an honest, but kind, conversation with her about it. Tell her that you appreciate her friendliness, but the physical contact makes you uncomfortable since you two had a romantic history. Make it clear that you'd like to keep things strictly platonic going forward.

If she gets upset or tries to guilt you, stand your ground. You have a right to set boundaries, especially with someone who rejected you. Don't let her make you feel bad about it. Remind her that you're happy to be friends, but the affectionate behavior has to stop.

Ultimately, she might just be the type of person who is overly touchy-feely, even with platonic friends. But that doesn't mean you have to be okay with it, especially given the context of your relationship. Be firm, but also compassionate. Hopefully she'll understand and respect your feelings on it.

Just hang in there, bro. Navigating these kinds of situations is never easy, but you've got to do what's right for you. Don't be afraid to create some distance if you need to. Your mental health and healing comes first.

[Anonymous]

She likes the attention from you and wants to waste more of your time talking to her making you believe there is still a chance.

Find someone else.