How can I regain my independence?

[Pink2000]

From October 2022 to March 2023 I was living my best life. I had my own place I was working at a club. I was so happy and never depressed at all ! I felt like I was truly living life and then my dad died that March and it seems like since then I’ve gone backwards. I’ve been living at home ever since. I don’t do anything. I’m not working at the club anymore. I feel like I’m so stagnant and I don’t understand why. I feel like getting my own place might help but then I think about how lonely I’d be. I really want to be as independent as I used to be. I feel like other people my age are so much more advanced than me , even more mature. I also think it’s because most people my age have kids so they have to be. I do believe I was having a manic episode during that time which may explain the constant euphoria. I was meeting so many new people and had several different experiences during this short period of time.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like there’s a lot more to this. When I read your post you said you felt others were more mature than you. But you said you were living your best life. So I don’t get that part. You also said some people your age had children. I’m thinking were you upset that you were never able to give your dad grandchildren? Maybe you realized how precious life is, which made you realize what you’re doing w your life brings no real meaning to it? You have to figure out what exactly changed that thought of living your best life to now feeling immature to others your age. I get your dad passing triggered it. Was this something that was foreseen?

[Pink2000]

I said between October 2022 and March 2023 I was living my best life. After my dad passed I started to decline. I feel like living back in my parents house has caused me to be less mature. It’s like I feel like I’m not truly an adult because my mom doesn’t let me really.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok so then move out. Simple as that.

[Grond21]

It doesn't sound manic, but it does sound very adventurous. Which means you were taking lots of risks and it paid off well for you. Now though you can see the other side of life, and death is a very scary thing. It also sounds like you've been dealing with some kind of depression. But the only way to live is to take risks, because to not take risks is the greatest risk of all

[Agape93]

You need to be on your own and focus on handing your own necessities. Bills, work, exercise, food etc. Let it build up naturally. It's ok to be alone and be lonely. Gives you time to self reflect

[Gwendoline]

Baby steps. Go to the gym, look for a job, meet people. Go to church

[Ironco]

Wise beyond your year, young lady.

[Pink2000]

I think the gym and church is a good start. I stopped going to the gym as well.

[NathanDavis]

therapy would be a good option... some guidance, some re-focus

loss is surely a tremendous impact, and it might affect us even more than we really think so

[IslaTheWitch]

finding a therapist is the first step...

[Pink2000]

I did twice.

[IslaTheWitch]

you need someone you will connect to... and it takes time...

[Pink2000]

I definitely tried but mentally I’m okay. I just miss when I was actually living and not existing.

[IslaTheWitch]

from your description, I understand the problem is to make this step again... and this definitely needs to be addressed by the specialist...

[Pink2000]

What makes you say that and what makes you think it wasn’t already addressed? I thrive to have a life full of excitement like I did before my dad passed?

[IslaTheWitch]

"I feel like getting my own place might help but then I think about how lonely I’d be."

[Pink2000]

When you’re used to living with people you’re obviously gonna be lonely at first?

[ChicoFromThe305]

So what's stopping you?

[Pink2000]

If I knew I wouldn’t be asking lol

[ChicoFromThe305]

That's actually a good point

[Bklynbadboy12]

Just get back to work stack you bread and move out