Why did he turn me down?

[ramirezrebecca7]

My guy friend and I , have known each other for over a year. We met in college, and we immediately were butt buddies. we were definitely attracted to each other and ended up liking each other. At that point I was in a long distance relationship , while he was living his single life and playing football for the school.

After breaking up with my ex boyfriend we were always talking..we ended up almost hooking up..but didn't make it all the way through. we were both confused and just stayed friends..

over the course of the summer we kept in contact.

finally I got back to college and we finally met up again..our sparks flew like never before and we kept contacting each other.

he would say that he wanted to see me.. I would say okay.. ( agreeing to hooking up pretty much)

but then he would back out and not want to hook up

he would say.. well I am in that mood..

and I would say.. well ya?

and he would go..well I know I am attracted to you and I like you.. but

basically telling me that he didn't want to have sex with me

I asked he just wanted to be friends..and he would say..

"no,no,no. hell no"

I asked him what he wanted

and all he said to me was that he didn't know

I know that he likes me, he has already told me that..but why wouldn't he want to hook up with me?

I mean I like him too but I guess I was under the impression of that was what he wanted.

I have never been in this position before where a guy actually is turning me down to hook up.

so what is his deal?

[BriscoCountyJr]

He sees this as chance for something more but, then who can he call--like you in times when he is just feeling blah. Sex changes everything for a lot of people. And if it goes south then what?No more calling you. He is on the friend border hoping to keep it lively and happy with an option to make it more. But, most guys don't ever want to be friends.

Those are the things he is battling with on the inside.

=D

[ramirezrebecca7]

I felt like he only either saw me as a friend, or as someone to hook up with. I never would have imagined him to think of me as anything more.. we have had the oddest relationship with each other that I have pretty much ever encountered. and I was wondering if he was thinking that sex was going to change his outlook on things. I do enjoy being friends with him, but I feel like he is making it complicated.

[c7777]

Its hard to say why he did that. I might be as simple as he wasn't in the mood, or maybe he just wants your friendly flirting to go on before going more intimate. Maybe he's scared about commitment and only wants to fool around with lots of random girls and you seem like to much like a future girlfriend. All I can say is he didn't reject you because of your looks.

[ramirezrebecca7]

Well, he specifically told me that he was in the "mood" again..but didn't want to hook up with me. Maybe he does want my friendly flirting..but why would he want that? I just never have seen him as someone wanting a relationship with me. And he does fool around with a lot of random girls, that was one reason why I was so confused. because he didn't want to with me, when he claimed that he was extremely attracted to me. I did think at first it was my looks, but then I thought about all the past

[ImALuvrNotAFighter]

He might see you as a potential long-term relationship, making him reluctant to move too fast. A hook-up is one of the easiest ways to kill the chances of a long-term relationship.

[ramirezrebecca7]

Yes, I agree. I normally don't just offer sex like that...actually I can never, ever recall a day, where it was MY idea to have sex first. Normally it is the reverse situation, and I am like him, not wanting to have sex because of x,y, and z. But I just never thought of him seeing me as anything more, but sometimes the way he flirts with me and looks at me, makes me think otherwise. But he is such a flirt and I know how he talks to people. So, I am just confused...normally he wouldn't turn down

[arashmenalagha]

lol so you get mad because he doesn't want to sex you? hahahah!

[ramirezrebecca7]

I know that doesn't make sense, because I never have offered anything like this ever. So , I guess I am more upset at the fact that he is confusing me. I appreciate his concern but I am not sure to what degree his intentions are going to lead us to.

[arashmenalagha]

don't think about it, like that, you're going to drive yourself crazy... lol