How do you make real friends?

[Anonymous]

I’m a girl in college. I’m not mean or ugly, a bit quirky (people don’t run away but I feel off, like they don’t take me seriously lol). I meet girls and we chat but it always stays surface-level and I end up pulling away.

How do you go from small talk to real friendship? And how do you deal with wanting to cling to one person who already has other friends?

[Static_In_The_Attic]

If you want to meet people you have to get out & greet people. As for a friend a friend is a friend & when you find a real friend you’ll know it & a lot of friendships happen over time. As for people nowadays they seem to keep to themselves. People always have earbuds in. People are always on their phones & it’s a different world. As for you you’re a girl in college. As for the campus there are a lot of students & I’m sure you are going to cross paths with so many different individuals. As for you step out of your comfort zone & start introducing yourself to people. A friend is waiting to be found & who knows maybe a friend will find you.

[Vevv123]

Everyone feels odd so don’t feel alone. I noticed that the few times I did make friends was with people similar to me, they were a bit more shy or reserved, but they were still a little less shy and would ask if I wanted to study with them. Usually libraries have rooms you can reserve for studying and we would take similar classes so we would help each other out. Unfortunately I was a bit too busy so most of the time I did fall out of friendships because I was busy working and I had a child to care for. But you could start by asking someone in class a question and go from there. Colleges also have events you can attend if you want to try something other than study sessions.

[jamesgoldman]

The few friends I have are very similar to myself so I guess target people like you

[leahzrc]

Best way to make friends is to not want any

[jahaims]

Make plans with them then expand beyond small talk