I should continue to stear clear of this person right?

[Anonymous]

I basically just got over my little crush but I guess as of recently her other man left I don’t think he’s coming back so my friend says out of the blue. We joked about how she is my friends girl since she pays no mind to me now so I guess he asked her about her other guy for his own curiosity. Also brings up how she asked about me were is that quiet kid he talks so soft I can barely hear him. We had a whole conversation once and all of a sudden I’m just a quiet kid so I know she isn’t interested or ever was probably I worked with her once after that just hi and bye and soon after. Just says hi to my friend but not me so someone told me she is just ok with my company when another person isn’t around. I just started to just ignore her all together honestly as of recent she sometimes stands next to me in line not really a line just an area we wait to start. But as I always say I cannot control anyone else action no I didn’t try to talk to her because she made it clear she didn’t like me and I got the advice from a woman that confirmed it. I kinda drifted away from an area she was in and switched places with my guy I work with one day I think she noticed that and was probably laughing at me or about something. But honestly I never made a big deal of it i just separate myself from the situation in silence just walk away I don’t let or make it seem like I dislike anyone. I act like she is just a random person I don’t know I don’t pay any attention to anymore I hate crossing paths with her hopefully she doesn’t wave to say hi to me. It’s easy to avoid her when my friend is around or just anyone else she knows I can just slip away and continue on my way. I think she knows even though I never expressed I was interested in her she can kinda tell or think I’m mad at her because of it.

[HollyK21]

I’m sorry but this whole situation was so weird and unnecessarily dramatic on your behalf. Ok so she didn’t remember your name after one conversation, I haven’t remembered people’s names until meeting them like 3 times. I didn’t remember my fiancés name the second time I met him. In any case, your own personal feelings is not a good reason to make things awkward for her at work. She had no idea you liked her in the first place and now it’s like you’re punishing her for forgetting your name. It’s just very childish and avoidant of you.

[Asker]

Just choosing to go were I’m celebrated not tolerated never mind how I feel I’m not entitled to anyone so it’s ok she isn’t interested. I’m sure if she had anything important to say to me she would tell me or get a friend but obviously it’s not that important.

[HollyK21]

How many of your coworkers are celebrating you dude? None, you all tolerate each other and if you’re lucky some sort of friendships may form. You are creating an awkward and uncomfortable work environment just because you’re in your feelings. You need to grow up and I say that politely. It’s as if you’re throwing a temper tantrum because she forgot your name. At least she asked about you at all.

[Asker]

Temper tantrum? I just stay out of her way I don’t say anything how is that making it an awkward work environment. I haven’t said anything sexual or disrespectful I just let it go I cannot talk to someone who doesn’t want to associate with me I never told her my name to begin with.

[HollyK21]

Essentially yes, I feel like this is the equivalent of a tantrum because you don’t feel like she’s interested. You admit now that she didn’t get your name, so what else should she have done to ask about you besides trying to describe something? It isn’t her fault that you’re shy and soft spoken, that’s what she remembered about you dude. You’re just making this whole thing more awkward and uncomfortable than it needs to be because you don’t know how to talk to women. And yes, that’s what it is. If it weren’t our just go up to her and clear the air rather than go out of your way to avoid her over something she didn’t even know would affect you so deeply.

[Asker]

That’s what you just don’t understand there’s no need to clear the air asking her questions about shit I already know the answer to. It’s a Capital NO! and that’s fine that’s why I just separate myself she made it clear she didn’t want to talk to me so I’m leaving the situation. All this time has passed I would assume i blew it anyway so I just say nothing and don’t try to change my mind on it. All she would say is no thanks your too shy and I know it’s bs because we literally had a conversation before and not even about work. So this is how I know it’s just she doesn’t like me all of a sudden you start to talk to everybody else except me I understand what that means. So my friend gets a wave hello I don’t and I’m the one who had eyes on her in the first place he didn’t even know she existed. So all the not knowing how to talk to women is just garbage because we have exchange words before so I don’t get the soft spoken comments. I don’t get mad over it I except my loss regardless if it’s just friends with them or not I know my place and it’s not with her.

[HollyK21]

You decided that she wasn’t interested in you because she forgot your name and called you a kid. Mind you, this wasn’t even directly stated but you heard it from a friend so you don’t know how she said it or what even led to her bringing you up. In my opinion, her asking about you IS some form of interest, just doesn’t sound like the kind you’re looking for but how could she relay that through someone else? What could your friend have told you she said that made you think she was interested in more?

One generic conversation is not going to determine whether or not someone’s into you no matter what, and in a big way It sounds like you’re just creating excuses and areas of offense so you can justify not having the courage to ask her out. Like from what I read, genuinely nothing about that relays the visceral “hell no” of a rejection that you think she gave you, you could’ve totally had a chance.

Yes, your friend gets a wave hello because he/she is the one actually going up to her and creating some sort of connection. You on the other hand have avoided her at every turn because you took offense to what your friend said that she said. It’s just so avoidant and I think you have a hard time taking accountability for how you fumbled this.

[Asker]

I decided she wasn’t interested more so because she stopped talking to me first and specifically when my friend is around. He told me nothing at all that would make me think she was interested he didn’t even know she existed until I said something. And the quiet guy comment just screams yeah I thought you were confident guy but nevermind. I just have a hard time believing she was just asking rather than kinda dissing me. And regardless of the fact i fumbled or not it’s pretty late to try talking to her now without a legit reason. I just took my L move on I tried to talk to her one day she ignored me maybe because she was seeing the other guy. Or maybe because she didn’t want anything to do with me outside of work. I was trying to ask her if there was a problem did I do something wrong or something since she was acting weird. But anyway I think I’m just going stay away from her I see I’m not wanted it’s ok we’re at work and I’m just not her type I guess.

[Nikki1989]

This would be too much drama for a teenager, let alone for someone in their 20s.

[Anonymous]

Who is going to read and decipher all that?

[ChangeMefot]

Correct

[In_Trance]

Yeah