Girls, why do you go for confident guys even though reserved guys usually aren’t out sleeping around?

[Anonymous]

Updates

7 mo

Some replies keep saying reserved men “only seem loyal because they don’t get the chance.”
But more attention and more options don’t make confident men better — it just means they’re approached more. That’s a situation, not a character trait.

Confident men deal with more temptation. Reserved men don’t live in that environment and aren’t out chasing it. So confidence doesn’t automatically equal higher value or better long-term behaviour. None of the replies have actually addressed that.

[valentina4eva]

because confidence is super attractive!!🙃 and confidence doesn’t mean he’s sleeping around lol🤷🏻‍♀️

[Asker]

True.

Shyness doesn't mean he is a not a good Guy or not worth dating either.

[valentina4eva]

i agree 💯 i nvr said otherwise, but shyness is just not something im attracted to personally🤷🏻‍♀️

[beenherebefore]

Because confidence is a highly masculine and attractive trait that we tend to be attracted to.

[Asker]

Confidence might be attractive, but that doesn’t make it the better choice. Confident guys get the most options and the most temptation, while reserved guys are usually more loyal simply because they’re selective. So confidence doesn’t actually prove anything about long-term value — it just looks good at first glance.

[beenherebefore]

That is not true reserved guys are not necessarily more loyal. Loyalty has to do with your values not your masculinity or lack of it.

[HollyK21]

How does confidence equate to being a man-whore in your book?

[Asker]

It doesn’t always, but confident men get far more options than shy men. More options usually leads to more casual sex. I’m just asking why confidence is treated as safer when it statistically isn’t.

[Nikki1989]

What makes you think men with confidence sleep around?

[Asker]

Not all of them do, but confident men have the easiest time getting hookups. That’s why I’m asking why confidence is automatically seen as the ‘better’ choice when it also comes with higher temptation.

[itsannalee]

Because my man should be my leader.

[Asker]

Wanting a leader is fine, but confidence doesn’t automatically mean loyalty. Plenty of confident men use that role to get attention from other women, so confidence alone doesn’t guarantee what you’re actually asking for.

[itsannalee]

True, confidence doesn’t guarantee loyalty. But just because reserved guys don’t sleep around doesn’t mean they’re loyal. Often, it’s simply because they don’t get the chance.

[Asker]

You just answered your own question.

So if they don't get the chance then how do any Shy Guys cheat then.

[itsannalee]

First, i didn’t even asking any questions.

Secondly, let make it clear. Shy guys CAN cheat, most just never get enough female attention to be tested. Loyalty only counts when there’s real temptation. But when a CONFIDENT guy is loyal, he’s loyal because he chooses to be, not because he has no options. That’s a completely different quality.

[Asker]

Think about it logically. The percentage of shy guys who are likely to cheat is nowhere near the percentage of confident guys who are likely to cheat. There’s no way those two groups cheat at the same rate.