Why is it so hard for women to spot abusive men?

[Filthy_Immigrant]

I never understood why is it that women ignore huge red flags so much.

they avoid nice decent men like the plague but whenever they see an abusive man that clearly has "abusive" written all over him they rush in and commit to them. even these are the ones they never want to leave and even go as far as starting families and other attachments with.

[DonaldDarko]

It's hard to say what evolution has created over the eons. Maybe they think those men will be tough Genghis Khans and give them tough savage offspring. In reality they're just losers who can't keep their shit together. The kids probably end up in prison. Nature only goes as far as it has to.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

yeah in the end of the day all women want is something to brag about

[DonaldDarko]

They think they're the star of their own soap opera if a man looks at them.

[NathanDavis]

for the same reason you got fooled and abused yourself to porn addiction and such...

I'm sure you knew quite well none of that was good for you, it ruined some things, probably didn't make you happy either... and still took you years to get off it

others have that with food, with gambling, with crime... or abusive relatives, family, at work and so on

the brain can get rewired in twisted ways and then it becomes incredibly difficult to get out it when you're brain is like that, meanwhile... for everyone else is just common sense... "leave"

I know it took a few years to stop drinking too much Coca~Cola... in fact, I ended up in the hospital

twice, lmfao

[Filthy_Immigrant]

I'm surprise you still remember all of that

anyways in the end of the day porn never leaves the screens. an abusive asshole in the other hand will literally be live infront of you inflicting the harm on you physically, mentally and emotionally.

so I dont see how women just dont learn. I seen soldiers who served our country literally run for cover when they heard nearby car mufflers backfiring

[NathanDavis]

it's not like PTSD started to happen in 2020...

PTSD has been known since Vietnam, if not before... and people still go and become soldiers

then you had the 80's, the 90's... the early 2000's and to this day... people still go serve and come back to PTSD just to keep getting screwed by the government too

even when people know and learn... some are still not capable of rewiring their brains out of it

some do get out of it... but not all of them

[Filthy_Immigrant]

that's what I'm saying. PTSD is simply our defense mechanism, is not really a mental illness like people claim it is, its just our brains and central nervous system protecting us from reliving past trauma.

however it seems like women either dont get this or are good at ignoring it. they get with men who give them PTSD and many other mental and physical trauma yet they either get emotionally attached to them or end up with another one after they do

[NathanDavis]

well... I will definitely not be the one to say why women do this or don't do this or that

I am not one of them, and I didn't go through it

but I am sure we can get ourselves in harm's way... all of us are susceptible to some of that, one way or another

[beefcakebradybatson]

Porn blows, but an abuser is there until evicted or jailed.

[MemeSupreme]

there can be a variety of reasons why someone is with an abusive person

a lot of them are nice early on and gradually mess with your head–manipulating you. some people grew up in toxic households or lack a good support system, which these abusers look for. whats obvious to you isn't obvious to others bc its normal

just look up the psychology of it if you really wanna understand

[Filthy_Immigrant]

"a lot of them are nice early on and gradually mess with your head–manipulating you."

as a person who's been mentally abuse I agree, however if you let it happen to you more than once then that is your fault for not learning from your past expereinces.

[beenherebefore]

Desperation. Believing they can change the guy or that the guy would change for them.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

this is already a red flag in their behalf. obviously if you love someone you would accept that person for his/her flaws, not try to modify him/her so they can suit you

[CalmUntilAbused]

Oh, they spot them well enough. After all, those are the men they are subconsciously attracted to. If a woman has some class, She will realize that and modify Her behaviour accordingly. It's become pretty rare these days, though.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

women won't modify shit unless it serves them a convinience.

obviously we all know the reason and that is because women dont give a fuck about their mental, emotional and even physical health just as long as they got something to brag about

[CalmUntilAbused]

@filthy_immigrant Well... You almost get it. One more thing You need to get is that a few women in the West and a lot of women worldwide do realize what is actually convenient to them, while also being able to pay the reasonable price for said convenience.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Even European women?

[CalmUntilAbused]

@beefcakebradybatson Yes, technically some might belong to this category. I don't believe there to be a large crowd of those, but they might exist. Actually, I have proof some do exist. SquChan is Hungarian, Kitsunero is German. And they both do not want men dead just for being men. I believe they have even expressed the will to have their own Families.

[genericname85]

Cause competence and dominance look very similar to arrogance and violent tendencies. Like there's a lot of overlap between these positive and negative traits. Obviously women aren't looking for the negative ones but it really is hard to tell the difference.

[Chazmatazz269]

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32614222/

[beefcakebradybatson]

Many abusive men love-bomb their woman before the abuse because they're highly controlling.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

and who's fault is that?

[beefcakebradybatson]

Sweet. Victim-blaming. Hooe your woman (if you have one) reads this and packs, pardner !!!

[Filthy_Immigrant]

[heruncommonsense]

males never take accountability.

[beefcakebradybatson]

@heruncommonsense Some do;too many don't.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

@heruncommonsense you're a bot aren't you?

[heruncommonsense]

all males are abusive.

[Imjustagirl1520]

what r signs of abuse then?

[Filthy_Immigrant]

not surprise a woman is asking this. anyways his temper and swagger could both be dead give away.

does he act like a thug? is he always angry? is he nice to you but acts like an asshole towards others? does he come from a stable family?

till then I just realized you are only 16. hopefully this will become more clearer in a few more years

[Imjustagirl1520]

you do know abusers hide that and r masters at manipulation.

[Imjustagirl1520]

anyone can be an abuser, even if he doesn't have these traits

[Filthy_Immigrant]

true but in that case if you decide to stay with one or keep running into one then you are officially the problem for choosing not to vet who you date on your past experiences

[Imjustagirl1520]

what do u not understand about my reply? i said that they hide it well and anyone can be an abuser.

[heruncommonsense]

all males are constantly angry.