Why do some attractive, smart women act so competitive toward me?

[MissSunshine2]

There’s a woman in my community college who I’ll call Alice* (not her real name). Alice is prettier than me and looks about the age I look (early thirties); but she’s three years older than me (early forties); and I sensed that she disliked me by avoiding sitting anywhere near me alone, but now I see her trying to compete with me in class, by interrupting my answers, trying to talk over me or correct my answers with a better expressed version.

We’re as smart as each other and my friend said I am also beautiful and must be almost as pretty as she is if she’s that jealous. This woman is stunningly gorgeous. I’m just fairly pretty but a bit chubby. Solid build. She’s slender. I’m a bit mystified as to why this keeps happening.

Not every time, but I’ve noticed several times when I’ve been part of a community, the smartest, most beautiful women there acted competitive towards me. I know it’s because they feel threatened, but I don’t get what reason they could possibly have to feel threatened by me, when they’re already beating me at looks and brains. I also don’t know how to deal with it. Do you just try to avoid such people? I never behave like I think I’m superior and often I really admire these women, besides their jealousy.

[sage2021]

It's not only jealous but competition and she seems to feel threatened by you in some way.

Her insecurities are showing up and she has so many that is having the opposite effect of what she's trying to prove by her displaced personality.

People are on to her and you can rest assured that she's doing the exact same thing to other women.

The thought of her and her behavior towards you is actually very scary and I would watch over my back because she might do something to harm you or worse.

Buy some pepper spray and keep it in your purse just in case she goes sideways on you. I'm being serious about this. She's displaying almost criminal-type behavior.

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂🧡

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Internalized misogyny says her entire life is a competition for male attention. You’re not male-centered so I wouldn’t worry about it

[Grond21]

Hmm. I think you answered your own question. It's because they see you as a threat. You might not see yourself that way, but that is how they perceive you.

[DonaldDarko]

Sad that reptiles like that exist.

[FreyaRed]

They think everything is a competition. I noticed that by last 30 dentist helper girls I had in last two and half years. Prof who owns the clinic in work hires them from the uni in 10 pack after 2 months remain maybe 3. Some of them think they have to compete with everyone, even with dentists who play in another league.
I was kind, benevolent and helpful as I started working there but some of them thought it's some kind o weakness. Total hubris mixed with paranoia and coping mechanics, a rat race for survival. In reality 90% of them won't last until 40 in this job. Have ever seen a 40 yo, dentist helper?

[MontBlanc]

It might not always be about you in a negative way.

Sometimes, when people see someone they perceive as similar in qualities like attractiveness or intelligence, it can naturally trigger comparison.

Not everyone processes that in a calm or grounded way, so it can come across as competitiveness.

But I think it says more about how they’re navigating their own insecurities or standards, rather than anything you’re doing wrong.

[msc545]

I think you should probably just ask them rather than asking us. I'm just a man. I have no idea the way things work with people.

[msc545]

Well, actually, no way to know how things work with women. You people have your own code of ethics or something.