How can I stop getting friendzoned and actually get a real date?

[Anonymous]

I have tried to get a date for my whole life.
I am 27 and have never been in a relationship.
It hurts and is an embarrassment, I want to fall in love, or even just a companion is good.
But I am not getting anywhere.
I am getting friendzoned, put in guilt.
Or just blocked within 2-3 days.
Happening to me for a long time.
Am I not worth it?
Am I not good enough to hangout with?
What's wrong with me, if I clearly state I am just a friend then only it works.
If I don't define it everyone just ignores me.
If I say date I instantly get blocked.
I don't want to do it every time.
I was meeting more girls for like 2 months or so every week new women but at the end it's the same, blocked, friendzoned, ignored.
Cut off.
Never once got an actual date. Now it's like a curse, at least tell me that you are not interested.

[MrOracle]

There is no magic bullet, only ways of improving your odds.

Do you have a decent job, your own place to live, and a car (unless you are in a big city and public transportation is the norm)? When that's done, buy a couple of new outfits that are a step above what your peers normally wear, and wear those clothes when you are going to be around women. Get a stylish haircut and maintain it. You may need to pay someone to help with the clothes and hair.

Now that you are in the best state to meet women, focus on meeting them in person. Completely avoid apps, including Instagram. Focus on women who want to engage in the real world. Realize that many women use texting and apps just for attention and validation, with no intention to ever meet in person. Don't let those women waste your time.

Never be needy or desperate. When you are out around people, have a good time and be fun to be around even if no one you are interested in is around. Be the guy who has fun and loves life whatever he's doing.

Don't ask girls out on dates. Instead, say "I'm going to get some beer and wings (or ice cream, or whatever). Want to come along?" That's a low-pressure question and you have already established the parameters so she knows what to expect. If she says "no", say "hey, maybe next time" and smile as you walk away. Let her feel like she's missing out, and that you'll always find other fun people.

Never, ever seem bothered if a girl says no, because the world is full of them and some of them ARE looking for some fun. That's all you should be focused on at first - some fun. Low stakes. And when a girl says yes, BE FUN. Don't focus on any outcome beyond making her laugh and smile. If you can do that, she will WANT to spend time with you. She will be invested. And THEN good things will follow.

Like almost all of us, you are a lower 80% guy. You are normally invisible because you don't have model good looks and you aren't a multimillionaire, and you aren't a celebrity. You will never get THEIR outcomes. But you can still get GOOD outcomes, but you have to be better than most of the 80% you are competing against. Dressing one step better, being more stylish, and being able to make her comfortable and laugh will make you stand out from the pack. That's as good as you are ever going to get, but it's enough.

Don't focus on any one specific girl. Focus on getting girls to want to be around you. Maybe you will get lucky quickly and find one you really like who really likes you back, but normally that takes a while. Accept that and just focus on being fun, having fun, and getting girls to want to have fun with you. Once you figure that part out, the rest is easy.

NO APPS!

[genericname85]

it's litterally like the lottery. you shouldn't get discouraged by losing the odds are stacked against you and failure doesn't mean anything for your worth as a person. gotta keep going and also work hard on plan b. plan b means you gotta work at a life that you enjoy where you don't have a partner in the future. cause it's not impossible for that to happen. but it doesn't mean you should stop trying.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

How many times have you approached a woman with the primary intent of getting a date with her and telling her as much?

[Asker]

In the past month alone 3.
One is in Wales I was planning a trip from Birmingham to Newport for holidays.
2nd I met in a charity cafe, she was looking at my eyes too intensely, and her eyes were brown. So I asked her out for lunch in uni ( we are in the same uni) and she didn't agree or denied but when I asked she was like not now.
And after that she never came to the charity cafe.

The 3rd one I went to was a competition CTF, there I was interacting with people, I exchanged numbers with a lot of people, who I met.
She was the one in the other team and I was talking to her and became friends cheated for a week or so, but as soon as I invited her for a hangout sometime and I didn't get a yes or no I am busy, just the conversation stopped then and there I texted hi the following day but nope.

This is completely reoccurring.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

So it sounds like you’ve just been rejected a lot

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It’s only “friendzoning” when she makes an effort to get to know you but strictly in a platonic sense

[Asker]

Yes, now it feels like a curse, 😭
No matter how hard I worked it is the same output.
I am losing my friends as well, other than career we don't have anything in common.
Loneliness creeps in at the worst times.
I am tired of trying so hard,
Taking shots, and still getting nowhere.
I went through 3 surgeries, to fix my teeth. I was on the verge of death when I broke my back in the gym.
I wish I wasn't like this
All I can do is keep trying but now that is getting so heavy.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

So what are you doing to keep up contact with your friends?

[Asker]

I am trying to just be there when they call me.
Or make up a plan to do something.
But now they realise that i don't have the same interests as them.
I am also trying to find people who have similar interests, and having a hard time.
Also I moved from another country to the UK for masters.
I wasn't aware it will get this bad.
As my past country was also the same. I know I am different from everyone else. That doesn't mean I am dangerous or criminal.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Why don’t you call them instead?

[Asker]

I do but they ignore or have plans.
I tried to add myself but they say it's not your type of place
Or people.
And me calling for plans is like me begging for their time.
It's like everyone wants to talk to me, but don't want to hangout with me.

[Asker]

After sometime people are bored with me.

[Jen_oic]

Go to a dating app, but don’t look for me there because I don’t use dating apps

[Mike_Hum]

stop being friendly with girls you want to fuck.